American Horror Story: Hotel: 'It's Not The Getting Ready, It's The Clean-Up'

Finally .... American Horror Story: Hotel debuted last night and .... it was fabulous.

The Hotel Cortez is so beautiful, i would stay there, were it not for all the murders and shiz.

Dennis O'Hare as "Liz Taylor" is f-a-a-a-a-bulous.

Sarah Paulson is kinda giving me Jessica Lange 2.0.

Matt Bomer. That ass. Those tight black briefs. He is oozing sex ... plus [SPOILER ALERT] he's been dead for twenty years.

Max Greenfield being raped by a mummy with a, um, drillbit for a penis.

Kathy Bates is, as always, perfection.

And Gaga? I feared she would go too far over the top and become a hammy overacting cartoon, but she was wonderful; creepy, sexy, cool. And, of course, the clothes. Oy!

There were a lot of things to eyeball last night ... the couple found dead in the swanky hotel room, him without his eyes or tongue ...

Cheyenne Jackson. yum.

That wicked foursome: Call housekeeping.

It feels like a real reboot of the show, given that Lange isn't back this season ... and I miss her. It does have a little 'The Shining' vibe to it, but I think that'll go away as we get into the kink of it all.

Plus, Naomi Freaking Campbell? And the returns of Finn Wittrock, Evan Peter sand Angela Bassett.

Stay.Tuned. And don't close your eyes.

Can I Get An Amen? Relentlessly Gay Gardens!

Julie Baker lives in Baltimore and has a small front garden that she likes to work in, and likes to keep colorful and pretty and, well, according to one neighbor, gay … too gay. In fact, that neighbor, unhappy with Julie’s multi-colored garden, wrote this note to her:

“Your yard is becoming Relentlessly Gay! Myself and Others in the neighborhood ask that you Tone it Down. This is a Christian area and there are Children. Keep it up and I will be forced to call the police on You! Your kind need to have Respect for GOD.

A Concerned Homeowner”

Your kind? It makes one wonder what God might think of that because I imagine She isn’t sitting up there in Heaven dividing the world into Us and Them, but then I am not some religious zealot wingnut in Baltimore.

Luckily, Julie Baker wasn’t worried either, because rather than tone it down, she turned it up, and launched a GoFundMe page to help make her garden more “relentlessly gay.” In fact, if she says if she raises enough money, she’s gonna put a Rainbow Roof on top of her home. Here’s what Julie says on her Go Fund Me page — and you can go there if you wanna donate:

I opened my door, and found a note from my neighbor. Regarding a set of rainbow jar solar lights hanging in my yard that spell out “Love” and “Ohana” [Hawaiian for 'family'].  They informed me that the neighborhood is “christian” and has “children” and asked me to stop being “relentlessly gay”….

Needless to say…  I need more rainbows… Many, many more rainbows…. So, I am starting this fundraiser so I can work to make my Home even More “relentlessly gay”  If we go high enough, I will see if I can get a Rainbow Roof! Because my invisible relentlessly gay rainbow dragon should live up there in style!

Put simply, I am a widow and the mother of four children, my youngest in high school and I WILL NOT Relent to Hatred. Instead, I will battle it with whimsy and beauty and laughter and love, wrapped around my home, yard and family!!!

Thanks for your relentlessly gay support!

As of this morning, Julie has raised over $40,000 for a rainbow roof, and maybe a rainbow front door and shutters, and, what the hell, maybe some actual rainbows. Julie has also created a video to thank her supporters:

Thousands of people that I don’t even know are standing up and saying it okay to be ‘relentless.’ Something that started out as an insult, was supposed to be an insult, now is suddenly this wonderful thing, and why not? Why not be relentlessly you, why not be relentlessly fabulous? Why be subtle, why be shy? Why hide it? It’s okay to be who you are.

I told my kids one of the reason I love rainbows is because they’re made up of broken light. It’s fractured, it’s cracked… kinda like a lot of hurt people. But because of it it’s beautiful, and maybe even more magnificent. And I think that’s one of the reasons I’m driven more to get this message out, especially since this message has kinda been dropped in my lap!

So yeah, I’m gonna have a rainbow house, and it’s going to be fabulous. And it might irritate the person that did it, but it’s not about irritating the person that did it, it’s about being relentlessly joyful, and being damn proud of it, and sharing that with other people.

I want the planet to go ‘hey, be relentless,’ because it should be a good thing.

And it is also relentlessly gorgeous and relentlessly free and relentlessly positive and looking at it makes me relentlessly happy ... 

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