Odds and Ends

Here are just a few stories I found floating through the interwebz this week ...

Inoke Tonga, a volleyball coach from Valor Christian High School in Colorado, says the school administration told him to convert to being straight and “denounce being gay” or lose his job. Tonga, who is gay and Christian, was called into a meeting with school administrators last month, thinking that he was up for a promotion, until he was asked this:

“Did you ever post anything about identifying as a gay man or advocating for the LGBT community?”

Tonga happily said ‘Yes,’ because he wanted to stand up for gay people, but that didn’t make the administrators happy.

“Well how do you think that reflects on the school? You’re a danger to put in front of the kids.”

That meeting went on for about an hour and a half and Tonga says that he didn’t advocate more for himself because he thought he was there for a promotion, not a public shaming. As he was leaving, an administrator offered him some “kind of conversion books” and said:

“When you are ready to accept our help—we’re not holding this coaching position over your head, but when you’re ready to denounce being gay and accept our help to become a child of God, then you can have your position back.”

Tonga refused and, the next day the administration emailed the volleyball players and their parents saying he had chosen to leave because he’s “struggling with a spiritual battle.”

No, he was told to leave his job because he’s gay.

After nearly a decade in the NFL, Buffalo Bills wide receiver Cole Beasley saw his fame skyrocket in recent months, though not because he’s such a talented player—of that I have no idea and don’t care—but because of his anti-vaxxing stance.

And then this week, as the Buffalo Bills hosted the Pittsburgh Steelers, Cole Beasley dropped a pass in the first quarter, and Twitter was ready with jeers and heckles to mock the receiver.

It would seem that Cole cannot catch the virus and he cannot catch a football. COVIDIOT.

That bigot who is credited as the architect of Texas’ abortion ban, and would like to see Roe v Wade overturned, Jonathan Mitchell, says the Supreme Court’s inaction on that Texas law has opened the door for other “lawless” rights and protections to be reversed … as in the right to have gay sex and the right to same-sex marriage.

Mitchell says that while it was not necessary for the high court to immediately overrule the legal cases that enshrine those rights—Lawrence v Texas, which outlawed criminal sanctions against people who engaged in gay sex, and Obergefell v Hodges, which legalized same-sex marriage—those cases are just “as lawless as Roe.”

And to be fair, this is an absurd interpretation, but it’s all in Mitchell’s brief, as is the case of Loving v Virginia, which ended racial discrimination in marriage.

Keep in mind that one of the justices who gladly jumped on Mitchell’s antiwomen, anti-choice, anti-abortion law is one Clarence Thomas, a black man married to a white woman.

I wonder how Thomas will feel if and when Mitchell comes for his marriage?

Recently Grady Knox, a  Tennessee high school student , was advocating for a mask mandate in schools during the public comment section at a Rutherford County Board of Education meeting and spoke about his grandmother who died of COVID-19 last year:

“This time last year, my grandmother, who was a former teacher at the Rutherford County school system died of COVID because someone wasn’t wearing a mask.”

And as he continued to speak, several adults …adults … behind him began to laugh and shake their heads; at one point, someone in the background can be heard screaming, “shut up!”

The heckling continued until Coy Young, the school board chairman stepped in:

“Hey guys, we’re here to act professional.”

Adults, laughing at the story of a woman dying of COVID.

Another ‘Karen’ bites the dust, y’all. In a recent viral video a woman dubbed “Coughing Karen” followed, and coughed, on a masked mother and daughter in a Lincoln, Nebraska Super Saver grocery store because … COVIDIOT.

And then, within a matter of days, social media did its thing and the woman was identified as Janene Hoskovec, an employee of SAP, a software company based in Germany.

And within hours, SAP posted a response on Twitter, writing that the company was “taking the matter of an SAP employee incident very seriously” and that an investigation was underway. That same day, SAP announced that Janene Hoskovec, AKA “Coughing Karen” was terminated from their employ.

Bye Karen.

Bobservations

We watched Good Morning America while having breakfast on Christmas Day and when Santa appeared with gifts, Carlos said:

“Is that Matt Lauer?”

Sometimes he doesn’t know how really funny he is.

Clearly the Fat Bastard has no problem with elder abuse, because his administration is scaling back the use of fines against nursing homes that harm residents or place them in grave risk of injury.

Since 2013, nearly four of every 10 nursing homes have been cited at least once for a serious violation.

I hope the Fat Bastard will be okay because after Junior locks him away in Shady Pines, there’s no telling what he’ll endure. And I’m fine with that.

In a Christmas Day editorial, the Salt Lake Tribune named GOP Senator Orrin Hatch as its “Utahn of the Year.”

That sounds nice, until you read further, and they say he earned the honor by his stunning “lack of integrity.” The editorial board claims Hatch had an extraordinary year and “has done the most … made the most news … had the biggest impact. For good or for ill.”

In Hatch’s case, the paper put him in the ‘ill’ column because of his part in aiding and abetting _____’s dismantling of the Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante national monuments, his role as chairman of the Senate Finance Committee in passing that GOP Tax Scam and his “utter lack of integrity that rises from his unquenchable thirst for power.”

The paper then urged Hatch to step aside, but Orrin Hatch clearly didn’t read the article, save the headline, because he Tweeted about the ‘honor.’

Stupid little asshat.

In high-larious news, someone sent a package wrapped in holiday gift paper and filled with horse manure to US Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin.

That’s all.

In hypocritical news, Callista Gingrich began her duties as the new US ambassador to the Vatican.

Gingrich, wearing a traditional black mantilla, presented her credentials to Pope Francis though I think she left out the part where she reveals that she is Newt Gingrich’s third wife and had an affair with him when she was a congressional aide and he was still married to his second wife.

Hey, she talked Newt into converting to Catholicism, so maybe Pope Frankie ignored the three times married adulterer parts, still, judging by that photo it might be best to keep a supply of Holy Water and an exorcist on hand.

Just Satan, er, sayin’.

Arizona’s GOP Senator Jeff Flake says he isn’t ruling out a 2020 presidential run following his term in the Senate.

Um, Jeff, that might have sounded promising when you announced your retirement and blasted _____ in a speech, but, you know, since you voted for the GOP Tax Scam, you are clearly a GOP asshat of epic proportions.

Good luck losing that election.

Speaking of the Fat Bastard, _____ visited Mar-a-Lago for Christmas, and went golfing the day after; he insisted he is on a “working vacation” but because he’s as dumb as a box of GOP Congressman, he Tweeted on Christmas night that he would get “back to work” Tuesday.

Really.

Carlos does not like making decisions; if you ask him if he’d like dinner served now, he’ll say. “I could eat.’ And I usually say that isn’t an answer, because it also implies that he could not eat.

On Christmas Day he tried that with me and we both ended up laughing so hard at his “We could … “ lines and his “If you’re ready …” nonsense and his “Whenever you want …” bull shiz.

I finally had to shout:

“Do.You.Want.Dinner.Now? Yes OR No?”

And then I get an answer.

We all know the Fat Bastard got his panties in a wad when his Attorney General, Little Jeffy Sessions, recused himself from the Russia probe because _____ believed that helped lead to Mueller’s appointment.

But this is better, and by better, I mean stupid.

Now the Fat Bastard is blaming Jeff Sessions for Ry Moore’s defeat in Alabama because it was Sessions’ departure from the Senate to the DOJ that necessitated the election Moore lost.

Like I said, stupid.

Man Candy this week is one Daniel Kaluuya, from Get Out, a disturbing horror film—or is it—along with three stars from Nocturnal Animals, the always delicious Jake Gyllenhaal, Aaron Taylor-Johnson—thanks for the nude scene—and Armie Hammer.

Hammer’s role was small but any chance I get to post his photo, well, deal with it.

Random Musings

As women all over the country continue to speak up about rampant sexual harassment and assault by powerful men, one women takes the Low Road: Kellyanne Conway.

During Conway’s interview at Politico’s Women Rule event with Anna Palmer, a woman in the audience wanted to know why Conway continued working with _____ given his record toward women, and Conway’s’ response was perfectly suited to her boss:

HECKLER: Kellyanne, your boss grabs women—

PALMER: Excuse me, we’re going to have a—I just want to say—

CONWAY: She just wants to go viral. [To heckler] But just remember, you didn’t get the question out of your mouth.

HECKLER: I got the question out of my mouth. Your boss grabs women by the pussy! Why do you work for him?

CONWAY: [to the host] By the way, you don’t have to remove her on my account. I very much believe in the First Amendment. And I think anybody has a right to sound like a complete jackass if they’d like to.

AUDIENCE: [boos and hisses]

Yes, Kellyanne Conway, who has spoken of her own issues of sexual harassment calls a victim a “jackass,”

No wonder people call her Cuntway.

Hooray for Austria!

This week the country's top court ruled that same-sex couples can marry:

"The Constitutional Court nullified with a decision on December 4, 2017 the legal regulation that until now prevented such couples from marrying."

Still, The Gays cannot marry until December 31, 2018.

But the march goes on …

As a person who hates bugs—Carlos is the Bug Killer at our house while I do snakes—this news makes my stomach turn:

If spiders worked together they could eat all human beings in a year.

At the moment—cuz that could change if these critters start talking to one another—spiders mostly eat insects, although some of the larger species have been known to snack on lizards, birds and even small mammals. But “experts said that if you add up the weight of all the food eaten by the world’s entire spider population in a single year is more than the combined weight of every human on the planet.”

I need to join the space program and get off’a this planet before the spiders unite!

It was a couple of weeks back when the Fat Bastard took to Twitter to kvetch and moan and snivel about not being chosen as TIME’s Person of the Year while still trying to pretend that he wasn’t interested in the award:

“Time Magazine called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be named “Man (Person) of the Year,” like last year, but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!”

And, of course, TIME came for him, pointing out that the “phone call” story was a lie and said the finalists weren’t going to be released until much later. And so now, here’s your TIME Person of the Year:

I wanna see _____’s head implode when he realizes he was beaten by women … again.

Not that it can explode since it’s empty.

And just a quick note to The Deplorables….

Hillary Clinton DID NOT Lie to the FBI. Hillary Clinton DID NOT collude with a hostile foreign government.Hillary Clinton DID NOT get Indicted.Hillary Clinton did not Plead Guilty to a crime.

That was Michael Flynn.

Lock him up.

David Ermold was one of the gay men—with David Moore, below—who was denied a marriage license by Kim Davis in Rowan County, Kentucky a couple of years ago, and now he’s challenging her for her job:

“I am running to restore the confidence of the people in our clerk’s office and because I believe that the leaders of our community should act with integrity and fairness, and they should put the needs of their constituents first. My commitment to Rowan County is to restore professional leadership, fairness, and responsibility to the clerk’s office. I will build upon the successes of the past, and I will seek solutions for the challenges we may still face.”

Davis announced she was running for reelection last month but now maybe she’ll be once again given another smackdown by The Gays.

Again, a_____ controversy, this time his endorsement of a pedophile to the Senate, his Tax Scam, his reversal of decades of policy on Israel, and his opening up of protected national treasures to drilling and mining have the press corps frothing at the mouth to answer questions.

But reporters arriving at Air Force One in Utah on Monday quickly learned that White House officials were not going to allow on-the-record questions on any of it when White House deputy press secretary Hogan Gidley refused to answer any questions on the record:

REPORTER: We have to ask the questions—

GIDLEY: I understand that, you have a job to do and so do I.

REPORTER: You’re not doing your job. Your job is literally to take questions from us. That’s the whole point of this … you can release paper statements if you want.

GIDLEY: Please tell me more about my job if I get to tell you more about yours.

That’s the _____ White House, refusing to answer to the American people.

Keep that in mind, the midterm elections will be here soon enough and we need to flip Congress. Get a Democrat as Speaker of the House, then impeach _____ and Pence for their lies and collusion and obstruction of justice and we can have a Democrat as president to represent the entire country.

Just sayin’.

Now, to be completely bipartisan, I think it’s time Al Franken step down.

If we all demand that Roy Moore not be allowed in the Senate because of things he’s done, then we need to ask the same of Franken. We cannot play party politics. If you act inappropriately you must resign.

But that’s just me … or is it?

Now, that said, Roy Moore better be forced out if he wins.

Oh, and speaking of sexual predators and accused pedophile Roy Moore, howsabout the news that Roy, the good Christian boy … cough cough …began dating his wife Kayla when she was still legally married to her first husband.

Pedophile. Predator. Adulterer. No wonder _____ backs him.

We had a free weekend of HB) a while back and I recorded the entire season of their reboot of Westworld. It’s really quite good, and not just because it features James Marsden as Teddy; Marsden is just beautiful, though, sadly, he gets killed in almost every episode.

Also, continuing their trend of hot Men is Once Upon a Time who introduced Nathan parson as a good guy or a baddie who looks good in modern clothes and a codpiece.

Just sayin’.

Random Musings

As is our habit, we decorate the house for Christmas the weekend after Thanksgiving, and, as is my habit, I become a combination of Martha Stewart, Joan Crawford and Adolph Hitler in my zeal to make the house look just so ... which may explain why Carlos disappeared during the tree trimming and only returned as the last ornament was hung.

Now, lest you think it’s all Poor Carlos, listen up … listen up … We were decorating the outside, hanging lights and stringing garland on the front porch. We have these two large bows we put on the porch pillars, but since they spend so much of the year folded up inside a box, it takes a minute to flatten them back out, and then puff them up so they look like bows.

After doing the first one, I took the second one out of the box and said to Carlos:

“I’m gonna take this bow into the house so I can straighten it out and get it ready to hang on the pillar with the other one.”

Carlos looked at me and said:

“You only have one bow up there.”

Uh huh. It’s not just me.

PS This is me decorating for Christmas. Just sayin'.

Texas Congressman, and Republican … because, of course … Joe Barton apologized last week for sending a nude selfie that ended up all over social medial he claimed the person who leaked it was a woman with whom he had a consensual relationship:

“While separated from my second wife, prior to the divorce, I had sexual relationships with other mature adult women. Each was consensual. Those relationships have ended. I am sorry I did not use better judgment during those days. I am sorry that I let my constituents down."

The photo is that one down there, with the ugly little bits crossed out, of Barton pointing his camera up toward his face from below his genitals alongside a text reading:

“I want you soo bad. Right now. Deep and hard.”

Seriously. This is what a grown ass man does? But then he’s a family values Republican separated from his second wife who admits to have had consensual sexual relationships with other women while awaiting his divorce.

Hypocrites. The lot of them.

Well, well, well … Dictionary.com has announced their Word of the Year and we can thank Ivanka ‘Grifter’ _____ for it.

See, Ivanka’s choice to remain involved in her father’s presidency and act like his littler lap dog helped make “complicit” the Word of the Year!

Cuz, you know, she’s complicit.

A painting of Christ by the Renaissance master Leonardo da Vinci sold for a record $450 million last week. The painting, called "Salvator Mundi," Italian for "Savior of the World," is one of fewer than 20 paintings by Leonardo known to exist and the only one in private hands.

But still … $450 million? That money could not have been used for something better?

Oh the problems of the 1%. Or the 1% of the 1%.

Okay, this whole CGI [computer generated imagery] business in filmmaking has gone too far and I will not stand for it.

Apparently the shorts that Armie Hammer’s character wears in the new film Call Me By Your Name were so short that some of his, um, er, anatomy kinda spilled out of the bottom of them and director Luca Guadagnino had to digitally remove Hammer’s balls from certain parts of the film.

Really? On the upside, rumor has it that if you look hard enough, you might be able to find them elsewhere.

This is a true story but mostly it’s just a blatant attempt by me to post another photo of yet another Husband In My Head, Armie Hammer.

Well, the half-wit-half-term former governor of Alaska, Mama Grizzly Bore™ was in DC recently and many in the media wanted her take on all these new cases of sexual harassment and assault; this is what she had to say:

“You know, I think a whole lot of people know that, I’m probably packing. So I don’t think there’s a whole lot of people who would necessarily mess with me.”

Yeah, that’s not why, you gasbag.

One of my favorite things about the internet is all the crazy that pops up … as in this story that came about this week when My Husband In My Head, Prince Harry announced his engagement to American Meghan Markle.

According to Twitchy editor Greg Pollowitz, Harry and Meghan’s children may be American citizens, giving them the chance to rule not only one country, but two. And it’s a way for England to Make America English Again.

To Pollowitz and his special brand of crazy, I say, “Sod off, you wanker.”

Eric ‘The Dumb One[?]’ _____, AKA on the interwebz as Forest _____ coming down on the side of stupid in the aftermath of his father’s use of the word Pocahontas to describe Elizabeth Warren at that White House event celebrating Navajo code talkers.

Forest, er, Eric, Tweeted:

“The irony of an ABC reporter (whose parent company Disney has profited nearly half a billion dollars on the movie “Pocahontas”) inferring that the name is “offensive” is truly staggering to me.”

What I find ironic is the Eric doesn’t seem to realize that the Disney film Pocahontas was called that because it was about Pocahontas, and it was used as a slur against anyone.

.Seriously, he’s that dumb.

After that, I need a palate cleanser of hot men …

Brandon Quinn, top left, plays the love interest of Kevin’s sister on Kevin [Probably] Saves The World. Why he couldn’t have been Kevin’s love interest annoys me.

Daniel Francis, top right, is a British actor who plays Dr. Facilier on Once Upon A Time, a show noted for hot men in leather pants.

Alexander Skarsgård, bottom left, plays my BFF Nickie Kidman’s husband on the HBO show Big Little Lies. He’s not a nice man, rather abusive, in fact, but damn … he’s fine.

And then we have Tom Riley, bottom right, who plays Charlie the cancer patient on the BBC show Ill Behaviour, now airing on Showtime.

I feel better, and a little tingly, now.