Jerry, Becki and the Pool Boy

What a week for poor hate-filled, homophobic, holier-than-thou, _____-loving Jerry Falwell Jr, huh? I mean, first he takes a leave of absence from Liberty University after photos and videos show him partying on a luxury yacht with men and women in various states of undress, and now this …

The wife is schtupping the pool boy! A story that’s been floating around for over a year now that both Mister and Missus Falwell have foot-stomped, whined about, and lied about.

But, honey, it’s true. But Jerry’s taking the high road by throwing his wife under the bus and claiming that his recent ‘bad boy’ behavior is because he’s been depressed since learning that Becki—with the bad hair—has been riding Giancarlo Granda’s, um, pool skimmer.

Oh, and Jerry’s also vexed because Granda ALLEGEDLY tried to extort them by telling the truth, which is … Granda was, in fact, fucking Missus Falwell, many, many times over the course of some seven ears and Jerry was either in the room, or watching on closed-circuit TV from another room, sitting in his Speedos and stroking his Mini-Me while watching another many fuck his wife, and maybe joined in. Odd behavior for a man who condemns adulterers who aren’t _____ and condemns homosexuality.

Faux-Christian-hypocrite, say what? And it gets uglier—I may need a Silkwood scrub-down after this—because Jerry Falwell might receive a $10 million payout for leaving Liberty University, which means that if your wife gets diddled by the pool boy, and you sit and watch, and perhaps there are other many diddling the missus, you get ten million. Funny, though, that is you are a student of Liberty University and you break their Morality Cde you are instantly expelled, but if you’re the president and like to watch your wife getting her pool drain cleaned, you get to leave with a sack filled with cash.

And you can buy a lot of pool boys for that many coins.

And lastly, the lovely Becki, who has been boned by the pool boy many times each year for over seven years—and I’m sure there are others—is coming out to tell her side … calling the relationship embarrassing and humbling and saying:

“I wish Christians, and people, would be as forgiving as Christ was.”

I wish people wouldn’t profess to being devout followers of Christ when they’re fucking the pool boy, allowing their husband to watch, and then crying about their shame when they get caught.

You fucked the pool boy, Becki. You knew what you were doing; your husband knew what you were doing. And now he's collecting ten million bucks; the pimp always gets paid, while the prostitue gets bupkis.

So, fuck off with the faux-Christian bull shiz.