Random Musings

Not a funny Carlos story this week, but a kinda cool one.

In his job, Carlos works a great deal with the Hispanic community in our town, county and state. Last year, he also worked with the Mexican Consulate trying to help a lot of the undocumented workers get their papers together and get them on the road to citizenship. I joked that he should get a job at the Mexican Consulate where he could work all day and I could go to lunches with the spouses of consulate employs and plan fabulous parties for the consulate.

Well, now it appears that we — and it’s ‘we’ because of ‘he’ — have been invited to a cocktail party at the Mexican Consulate in Raleigh, North Carolina next month to celebrate 204th Anniversary of Mexican  Independence.

Maybe that goal of being a consulate employee’s spouse might work out after all? Maybe, you know, at the Mexican Consulate in some fabulous European capital?

Fingers crossed.

I joke because what I really am is very, very proud of Carlos and the work he does.

Oh, this could be good … It seems that My-Husband-In-My-Head, Matt Bomer, will be guest-starring on next season’s American Horror Story: Freak Show. AHS creator Ryan Murphy broke the news himself saying he was excited to reunite once again with the “amazing” actor, who was nominated this year for his performance in The Normal Heart, also directed by Murphy:

“I try to get him to do everything for me. I sent him a text that said, ‘First right of refusal, here’s the role.’ It’s very…warped.”

Murphy is even willing to work around Matt’s schedule for the filming Magic Mike 2 in order to make the appearance work.

Matt Bomer? AHS? Win.Win.

Has my watch stopped or is her fifteen minutes of fame not over yet?

Donald Sterling's former mistress/girlfriend/paid-whore V. Stiviano is now claiming that Sterling is gay and she was just his "beard" for three years before his wife Shelly Sterling filed a lawsuit against her.

Now, in response to Shelly's lawsuit, which accuses the model mistress of taking $1.8 million from the Sterling Family in gifts for sexual favors, Stiviano says that she “was not ever a sexual partner” of Donald. She is now claiming that Sterling is “homosexual and enjoys sexual and or sexual congress with males” and that she acted as his “beard.” She also says Shelly Sterling knew and “condoned” her husband's “sexual orientation” and approved “gifts of money and or properties” to Stiviano for acting as his beard.

Huh. So, racist Donald Sterling might be gay. Well, being gay is not such a bad thing, but … being a fame-whore who sells herself for cash is a whore of a different color.

Go away V. Seriously, you are pathetic.

Last season on Nashville there was a hot British guy on the show who had an affair with Hayden Panettiere’s character. Now, since I am a whore for an accent I always thought the character was hot.

Fast forward to this summer’s Extant and there’s a crew-cut wearing hot Brit on the show as a bad guy with a robotic arm and, well, the accent, and all, I was hooked.

Turns out the two hot Brits are the same guy: Charlie Bewley.

Bad guy with a crew cut. Adulterer with fine hair. I’ll take him either way.

This week a 9-year-old girl — that is not the girl in the picture … her name has not been released — accidentally killed Charles Vacca, an Arizona shooting instructor, who was showing her how to use an automatic Uzi.

Yup, a little girl with parents who thought it might be fun to teach their 9-year-old how to fire an automatic weapon and now she’ll live the rest of her life knowing she killed a man,

Lovely parenting skills that.

And now, just two days after that horrible accident—which wouldn’t have happened if the adults hadn’t put a gun in a 6-year-old’s hands, the National Rifle Association [NRA] touted new ways for children to "have fun" at shooting ranges by posting a Tweet to its NRA Women account that read "7 Ways Children Can Have Fun at the Shooting Range."

Except for that whole murdering people thing.

The NRA. What the ever-loving f%k is wrong with them that, on the heels of this horrific accident, they actually want people to bring children to a shooting range.

You know, all the haters are always saying that The Gays want to indoctrinate children to our “lifestyle” but who’s saying a word about the NRA trying to indoctrinate children to becoming gun-toting loons?

This post was written before Joan was hospitalized this morning. It appears she is now in stable condition, thankfully ... so here goes ...

This past Monday I posted a few pictures of what I thought were bad looks at the VMAs; that post is HERE. 

Beyoncé, looking like a tease before shaking her ass and breathing hard onstage … Taylor Swift looking like  a cheap plastic blow-up doll … and Gwen Stefani looking like a car hop.

I actually said, of Gwen: “Slap on the skates and roll out my burger and chocolate shake to my car.”

The next night, Tuesday night, watching the VMA/EMMY fashion roundup on Fashion Police, Joan Rivers said of Gwen: “She looks like she needs to be wearing skates and bringing a burger to my car.”

Did Joan plagiarize me? Or do great, sarcastic minds think alike?

Good news! Michael Sam is a still Ram having made it through the first round of cuts. Now, I am not a fan of the volleyball, so, well, I’ll tell you what ESPN said:

“That Sam made it through the first round of cuts is of little surprise after he posted two sacks against the Cleveland Browns on Saturday night. Through three preseason games, Sam -- the first openly gay active player in NFL history -- has five tackles and three sacks. Rams coaches' film review also credits the rookie defensive end with two quarterback pressures and a quarterback hit.”

I’m guessing that’s good because, you know, volleyball.

But then ESPN stepped in it big time when, in trying to discuss how Michael Sam, an openly gay man, fits in with his team, the network aired a segment from reporter Josina Anderson discussing Michael Sam's showering habits in the Rams locker room: when he's showering, which teammates he might be showering with, why he might not be showering with others, etc.

Seriously? This is news? This is reporting?

Rams coach Jeff Fisher was also angry about the report:

“I’m extremely disappointed in her piece. I think it’s unethical. I think it’s very, very unprofessional. Not only the piece itself, the content. (But also) the manner in which she did it. ... I’m disappointed for Mike. I’m disappointed for the players who she put in this position, and mostly I’m disappointed for her because she felt what she was doing was right — and it wasn’t right.”

It was stupid and feeding into that whole argument that gay players only want to be on professional sports teams so they can see nekkid mens in the shower. 

Stupid.Stupid.Stupid.

And so, ESPN issued an apology:

"ESPN regrets the manner in which we presented our report. Clearly yesterday we collectively failed to meet the standards we have set in reporting on LGBT-related topics in sports."

Ya think? This Tweet says it all ...

In Idiot News:

Gordon "Creepy Jazz Hands" Klingenschmitt, a Republican nominee for a seat in Colorado’s statehouse, has accused Democrats of lacking a sense of humor after he sent an email which said that Congressman Jared Polis, a Democrat from Colorado, will “join ISIS in beheading Christians.”

Oh, that’s high-larious! And so typical of the GOP and its wingnut faction.

In the email, Klingenschmitt wrote:

“The open persecution of Christians is underway. Democrats like Polis want to bankrupt Christians who refuse to worship and endorse his sodomy. Next he’ll join ISIS in beheading Christians, but not just in Syria, right here in America.”

Mark Ferrandino, Speaker of the Colorado House, condemned Klingenschmitt’s remarks and demanded that Colorado Republicans do the same. Colorado Republican spokesperson Owen Loftus said that Klingenschmitt’s comments “in no way reflect the views of the party.”

Actually, it does, because while it was offensive, it was clear what he said while the rest of the GOP couches their hate rhetoric a little better.

And so, naturally, "Creepy Jazz Hands" issued an apology … of sorts:

“This weekend I sent out an email alert to my constituents in which I used hyperbole. You know what hyperbole is. It’s a literary device where you exaggerate to make a point. Well, apparently some Democrats do not have a sense of humor and they were offended by some of the things I said using hyperbole this weekend.”

And then he continued saying that, while it was wrong to compare Polis to Islamic State extremists, the Democrat was “persecuting Christian business owners here in America.”

Seriously, Colorado, this man is up for a seat in your state government?

Random Musings

So, Karl Rove, puppet-master to George W. Bush eight year reign of terror and lies has now stepped forward with this bizarre thought on Hillary Clinton, where he seems to suggest that she’s suffered brain damage:

“Thirty days in the hospital? And when she reappears, she's wearing glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury? We need to know what's up with that.”

Then, naturally, after the lie is out there for other wingnuts to run with, Rove backtracks, saying:

“No, no. I didn't say she had brain damage, she had a serious health episode and my point was that I think it was from the 7th of December in 2012 through the 7th of January of 2013, she underwent, first she had apparently a serious virus.”

Well, true, he didn’t say the words brain damage he simply asked why she was wearing glasses that are for victims of brain trauma.

Po-tay-to, po-tah-to, shut the eff up.

Seriously, you spent eight years working for  man who had no brain at all and you’re gonna question Hillary? That GOP is sounding more and more desperate at the thought of President Hillary Clinton.

Good news — again — on the marriage equality front.

Out in Oregon US District Court Judge Michael McShane denied the National Organization for Marriage motion to serve as intervenor to defend Oregon’s ban on same-sex marriage.

It’s time NOM just took a seat and realized that they are over.

In Idaho, though, on the heels of a judge’s ruling that the state’s ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, because it is, Governor Butch Otter is seeking to appeal the decision by Chief US Magistrate Judge Candy Dale to deny his request that she stay her decision striking the state’s ban on same-sex marriage.

And then …

The Arkansas Supreme Court has denied a petition from that state’s attorney general for an emergency stay of a county circuit judge’s ruling that two state laws banning same-sex marriage are unconstitutional.

C’mon, folks, just give up, it’s gonna happen and why not be on the front of the battle than bringing up the rear?

I like this story.

While appearing on Good Morning America this week to promote the season finale wedding between Cam and Mitch on Modern Family, stars Eric Stonestreet and Jesse Tyler Ferguson announced that last Monday the Modern Family would cover the cost of all marriage licenses and wedding ceremonies taking place that day at the New York City Clerk's office.

Publicity stunt, yes, but a cool one.

So, Michael Sam was picked to play for the St Louis Rams and, upon hearing the news, he kissed his boyfriend.

And all hell broke loose.

I get it, I guess. I mean, we’ve seen gay characters kiss on TV but rarely do we see real gay folks, and not ever a gay athlete, kiss his, or her, partner on live TV.

But, still, get over it. It was a kiss in celebration of good news, not the sign of the End Times.

And speaking of Michael Sam, apparently his new Rams jersey is fast becoming one of the top sellers of all time. I guess when you make history, everyone wants to be a part of it.

In South Dakota there lives one of the most offensive homophobes — and possibly closeted gay men — on the planet, in the form of GOP House Representative Steve Hickey.

He seems intent on speaking about, ahem, The Gay Butt Sex, comparing it to garbage trucks, or something, and then he went into more detail when he gave an interview to a local paper and once again talked about The Gays Butt Sex:

“I hesitate to get crude again, but Dr. Weiland, is it OK for, you know, eight of your friends that you're in love with to take a dump in your bed and then you can sleep in it all year long?”

Um, Steve, honey, I know you might be new to The Gay Butt Sex, but if, to you, it means sleeping in human excrement, you’re doing it wrong.

Just sayin.

Last weekend we watched Saving Mr. Banks via On Demand on the DVR.

Tom Hanks was passable as Walt Disney, while Emma Thompson was her usual brilliant self as Mary Poppins author Mrs. P.L.  Travers.

But, in flashbacks, we got to see Colin Farrell as P.L’s father and all I can say, and could say, so often to Carlos that he finally stopped the movie to ask me to be quiet was:

Isn’t he dreamy?

Cuz he is.

We also watched the premiere episode of Showtime’s new Penny Dreadful Victorian-era set fright-fest.

I could do without Josh Hartnett who always looks like he needs a bath but then you have Harry Treadaway as Victor Frankenstein, Reeve Carney as Dorian Gray and the delicious Eva Green as the is-she-evil-or-is-she-not Vanessa Ives.

The first episode started off slowly, but built nicely toward the end, when the monster awoke, but I’m willing to invest because it’s populated by fabulous women, hot looking men, and a fairly cool story.

In good news, Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel now says he’s open to reviewing the military’s ban on transgender service members, though he cautioned that trans issues are logistically “a bit more complicated” than issues surrounding openly gay and lesbian service members:

“[Trans] issues require medical attention. Austere locations where we put our men and women, in many cases, don’t always provide that kind of opportunity…again, I go back to the bottom line – every qualified American who wants to serve our country should have an opportunity if they fit the qualifications and can do it. This is an area that we’ve not defined enough.”

And every trans person who wants to serve should be allowed to do so openly and honestly.

Down here in South Carolina, where, for once it’s not the stupidity, the state Senate approved a state budget that restores the $70,000 cut from the funding for two public universities over their use of LGBT-themed books.

On the stupidity side, though, the senate stipulated that the restored funds be used to teach the constitution and other founding documents.

Oy. I guess it’s still stupidity down here.

And, speaking of stupid, Alec Baldwin was arrested in New York City this week for riding his bike the wrong way down 5th Avenue.

He was stopped by officers for riding the wrong way and when they asked for ID, Baldwin got all belligerent — go figure — because he had no ID and don’t they know who he is?

Then he Tweeted about being arrested for breaking the law while complaining that the police didn’t arrest a photographer who ALLEGEDLY almost hit his daughter with a camera.

Note to Baldwin: riding a bike the wrong way down a street is a crime, while almost, ALMOST, hitting someone with a camera is not.

Grow up. Shut up. Go away.

Also, Donald Sterling. Stop.Talking. You only make yourself sound worse — and I never thought that possible — every time you open your yap.

And tell your wife to stop talking, too. She’s only speaking out about any of this because she wants her 50% of all your racist cash.

And tell V. that once you left the money on the nightstand, as payment for services rendered, she should stop speaking and go back to her street-corner until the next rich asshatted racist comes by.

Random Musings

A little Bob'n'Carlos for your amusement.

One night this week, while I was readying to leave work, I called home to ask Carlos a question. He didn't pick up — maybe he wasn't home yet, maybe he outside with the dog, or checking his roses  — so I left a message that went something like this:

Just had a quick question for you but it's no big deal. It can wait until I get home in a bit. No need to call me back. DON'T.CALL.ME.BACK.

A few minutes later I was told I had a phone call; the receptionist — who is new and doesn't know Carlos — said:

There's a man on the phone who wants to know where you put the olive oil.

Seriously. It wasn't in the pantry so Carlos had no idea where the olive oil could be, and he called with that question.

Needless to say we all  — my co-workers and I ... not Carlos — had a long hard laugh over that one. Bless his heart.

In the wake of the so-called Religious Freedom Restoration Act, some Mississippi businesses began displaying the If you’re buying, we’re selling…We don’t discriminate sticker to welcome both the LGBTs and the LGBT-friendlies and people who just plain hate any kind of discrimination.

But don’t count the ironically named American Family Association among that group because they say, “It’s not really a buying campaign, but it's a bully campaign." 

Yes, they want you to believe that any business that puts up a We Don’t Discriminate decal in their windows is anti-Christian and is bullying Christians.

Funny though that ….

Herald Embroidery in Oak Grove, Kentucky produces customized apparel, ad banners, and promotional materials and they also displayed a decal in their window which blatantly states that Christians, people with beards and folks who carry guns are welcome, but people who curse and The Gays need to stay away. And that ironically named American Family Association doesn't call that discrimination because, well, God.

Oddly enough, though, less than 24 hours after the story broke and it was all over the news and the webz, owner MichaelLombard removed all of the stickers and issued non-retraction retraction:

“Notice: We recently posted five 3″ stickers on the front entrance to our shop. Two of these stickers are negative and prohibitive in their message. After some public confusion as to the meaning of one which depicted a rainbow flag, we’ve replaced them with a clarification. 

While we will serve all customers who treat our place of business with respect, we reserve the right to refuse to produce promotional products that promote ideas that are not in keeping with our consciences. This includes, but is not limited to content promoting homosexuality, freemasonry, the use of foul language, and imagery which promotes immodesty."

So, he’s still a homophobe discriminating against The Gays but he simply took his Hate Stickers off the door.

V. Stiviano. Go away, please. First, you record your lover-who-is-old-enough-to-be-your-grandpa-but-he-has-a-big-wallet-so-why-not and his racist rant and then it magically gets released.

At which time you take to shielding your face in a ridiculous visor while walking, or even, for the love of the goddess, roller-skating in front of your house.

You are desperately seeking attention. Are you sure your last name isn't Kardashian? I mean you’re a Kardastrophe-style fame-whore … emphasis on whore.

Just because … that’s Ben Hardy, from Britain’s long-running soap EastEnders posing in Details ... that’s all.

UPDATE: Last month I posted about the Fauquier High School’s library and one mother’s attempt to have the book “Two Boys Kissing” removed from the shelves — HERE.

Well, it ain’t happening because this week a review committee voted unanimously to keep the book on the shelves after a meeting with Jessica Wilson, the parent who requested the book’s removal, and an emotional public hearing.

One voice of reason was that of Joshua Moore, a recent graduate from Fauquier’s public schools who is openly gay, and says books like “Two Boys Kissing” helped him when he was struggling with coming out:

“I remember how it felt for me to come to terms with myself. I remember one day I went to the library and I started reading. ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’ and ‘Hero.’ They were very poignant to me. My librarians helped me to broaden my horizons. I didn’t have to sit around and think that I was so alone in this school.”

Here’s the deal: if books like that one, and others, helps one student not feel so all alone, not feel so different, not feel like an outcast, then the shelves of every public school library should be littered with them.

Onto RuPaul's Drag Race and the episode I will now and forever refer to as WTF Was Ru Smokin’?

For the Mini Challenge the last five queens created puppets of one of their competitors for a little show, and BenDeLaCreme was the clear winner with his spot-on puppetry of Bianca Del Rio.

The Main Challenge was the Glitter Ball, where the ladies had to create three looks — a Banjee Girl Look, some Platinum Executive Realness and Dripping in Jewels Eleganza — and here’s how that went down:

Adore Delano — and, again, I do not adore Delano — finally won a challenge. Her BenDeLaCreme puppet was very good, and she totally nailed the voice. As for her runway looks, the judges said the Banjee Girl was the best of the night, but how could they think that a button-down shirt and slacks was Executive realness? But her Dripping with Jewels drag was superb.

Bianca Del Rio stumbled a bit in the puppetry section by just relying on F-bombs and Adore catchphrases. In the main challenge her Banjee Girl was a little too fabulous, though her Executive Realness was purrrrrr-fection, and her Sapphire gown was stunning, though guest judge Bob Mackie — who knows his way around a gown — wasn’t loving it. Still, even a stumbling Bianca is better than most of the others.

Courtney Act. Beautiful girl. That’s about it. There’s no charm there; there’s no real passion; there’s no style; no eleganza; no wit; no sparkle, Neely, sparkle. She’s a pretty girl. Yawn.

And so the Bottom Two are BenDeLaCreme — Noooooooooooooooooooo­ — and Darienne Lake:

Darienne’s puppetry was nothing at all, and then she trotted out on the runway in three ridiculous outfits, none of which met the challenge. Banjee Girl was more Night At The Disco girl, while her Executive Realness was, as Michelle Visage put it, Jiffy Lube Executive. Her Dripping in Jewels gown could have been a nod to Princess Leia, but some unfortunate fabric choices made it look more like Jabba the Hutt after he ate princess Leia.

BenDeLaCreme! WTF was Ru Smokin’? He clearly won the Puppetry biz, and, okay, his Banjee Girl was more of a 1940s version, but his other two looks were clearly better than Darienne, and not as one-note as Courtney.

The Lip Sync:

BenDeLa isn’t the best at lip-syncing, but his was clearly, CLEARLY, better than Darienne, and even she knew it, judging from her reaction to the news that she was safe.

Lotsa folks been calling this season rigged, what with Adore and Darienne still there, and I never believed it until this week. On any given day, I’d take a BenDeLaCreme show over Darienne Realness or Adore Dorkiness or Courtney Beauty Treatments.

What did YOU think?

Lordy I loathe Madonna. It’s always a media stint with that bitch, what with the stupid-ass grill, the Spy v Spy Grammy outfit, the calling her son a n****r, the Instagrams of her hairy pits, her “performance” with Miley; clearly she’ll do anything for attention, as most aging out-of-touch divas will do, but then she does this:

While some call her a gay icon — I don’t and for reasons other than this — she put her foot in her mouth again, thinking she’s all funny and hip and smart and so so above it all, in a Buzzfeed 10 Random Things feature where Madge did a little word association.

How au currant. Yawn. For ‘Guacamole’ she wrote down ‘Gross germs’ which makes no sense but then Madge probably thought Guacamole was an STD she caught in the 80s.

But, for ‘Kale’ Madge wrote down ‘Gay’ because gay is a put-down; gay is bad; when you don’t like something it’s gay.

She’s an idiot because, for me, when I think ‘kale’ now, I'll think ‘Madonna’ and I will forever think of ‘Guacamole’ as an STD.

Just Because Redux ... Zachary Quinto. Hot, gay, smart. And now buff, as she showed in an Instagram picture of himself as he gets in shape for his next film, an action picture called Agent 47 ... more like Agent Hot.

Over Memorial Day weekend in 2013, Lynn Zlotkowski was married, and like most brides she wanted to share the good news with friends and old classmates. But when she sent the news of her marriage to the Sacred Heart Academy, her submission was rejected.

She married another woman, dontcha know, and ain’t no Lesbian Wedding Pictures going into a Sacred Heart newsletter as Sister Edith Wyss told her in a nicely worded, We Don’t Picture Gays letter.

Too bad the Catholic Church is so far behind the times that the wedding picture of a legally married former student of Sacred Heart is deemed unprintable in an alumnae newsletter.

Another update on an ISBL post — HERE.

A South Carolina senate subcommittee has recommended a budget that omits GOP-controlled, House-passed cuts to two public colleges that were using gay-themed books.

The chair of the subcommittee, Senator John Courson — a Republican for goddess’ sake — said he believes the choice of which books to use “should be up to the presidents of the institution and the board of trustees which the General Assembly elects.”

Good on him for standing up to the bigots in his party and for doing the sane, sensible thing.