Snarky Thoughts

I hate to pick on Madonna, but damn, the old girl makes it so easy.

It seems Madge went to the roller rink in Central Park this week and was surrounded by an entourage who literally guarded and guided her so she wouldn’t fall down. And if she did, Nile Rodgers, for whom she hosted a party, said:

“If Madonna falls down and goes boom, we all fall down and go boom.”

My Thought: put some blades on a walker and let Nana loose on the ice.

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As Ben Affleck and Jell-O—that’s what Carlos calls her and I am embracing it—continue their We Got Hitched World Tour in Paris, are cracks already beginning to form? Ben seems seriously annoyed by the amount of paparazzi attention he and the missus are getting, looking grim and angry in just about every photo.

My Thought: But look at Jell-O, all perfectly coiffed and made-up and dressed and beaming. One of these things is not like the other and that does not bode well. Especially given that Ben if back in LA while Jell-O continues the Italian leg if the Marriage Tour.

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Katharine McPhee, the fifth wife of serial monogamist … I kid … David Foster, who is actually younger than all of David’s children save two, and one of those is her son with the old man, has clearly found her spot behind the gates of One Percentville.

Apparently crime is on the rise in 90210 and McPhee, who lives in a gated community in a gated house and has security and drivers and private planes is running so scared that she is endorsing billionaire real estate developer Rick Caruso for LA mayor. And she asks that you vote for him because she and her friends cannot wear their rings and Rolexes in public anymore.

McPhee took to Instagram—because that’s what one does—to tell the tale of the night she was set to meet a friend and noted that she would not be wearing rings and watches in case someone jumped into giant SUV and disabled her bodyguards and the drivers and took her jewels.

My Thought: If you vote for a man just because Katharine McPhee wants to be able to wear her Rolex in public, perhaps you should rethink your right to vote ... as should the current, but probably not future, Mrs. David Foster.

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Now that Renée Zellweger is a few years into her 50s, she has decided to play the Jane Fonda card and talk about growing old with grace and dignity and to stop worrying about looking younger.

My Thought: Renée forgot about 2014 when she appeared on a red carpet looking nothing at all like Renée and denied having her droopy eyelids stapled higher on her forehead. Renée, honey, even Jane admits to getting work done.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ... And It's JLo-Themed

Clearly the JLo pandemic is running rampant in Hollywood because Katharine McPhee has come down with The Thirsts. This past week McPhee took to her Instagram Story to share her husband David Foster’s reaction to a here-to-fore private photo she sent him:

Gosh, I long for the days when thirsty celebrities didn’t post underwear pictures they sent to their spouses in an effort to try and make everyone believe their marriage is all sexy and lovey and perfect and shiz. Cuz, in case anyone forgot, David Foster is on his fifth marriage; he was married to BJ Cook from 1972 to 1981; the next year, 1982, he married Rebecca Dyer, and divorced her in 1986, after which he stayed single for five years until marrying Linda Thompson in 1991 and lasting until 2005; he married Yolanda Hadid in 2011 and divorced her in 2017, at which time he began dating Katharine, and married her in 2019. David’s longest marriage lasted just 14 years, while his shortest lasted six.

Tick tock, Katherine.

PS Of note is that Katharine McPhee was born in 1984, right in the middle of David Foster’s second marriage.

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When you’re Gerard Butler, who was hot for a hot minute ten years ago, what else have you got to do but beef? See, during an interview to promote his new movie Copshop, the interviewer brought up how Gerard’s 2009 movie Gamer has been compared to Ryan Reynolds’ new movie Free Guy. Butler went all Mariah Carey “I don’t know her” on the interviewer and said he hasn’t heard of Reynold’s new film because he doesn’t watch Ryan Reynolds movies.

Reynolds saw that and raised the ante with this:

“Can you believe Gerard Butler doesn’t know what Free Guy is? Also, can you believe that the challenges to democracy have never been greater and that Blake and I will match your contributions to the @aclu_nationwide and @naacp_ldf?”

Free Guy over Gamer.

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Third time’s the charm they say, and HGTV’s answer to Jennifer Lopez, Christina Haack, formerly known as Christina El Moussa and then as Christina Anstead, is trying to prove that to be true. It appears that the twice-divorced “Flip or Flop” star is engaged, again, to boyfriend Joshua Hall just three months after finalizing her divorce from the oddly named Ant Antstead.

Haack was previously married to her “Flip or Flop” co-star Tarek El Moussa from 2009 to 2018 when she divorced him and married Anstead until 2021, when she found herself engaged again.

If she wants to be JLo can we call her CHa …. Hahahahahahahahaha.

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Poor Erika Jayne. No, I literally mean poor Erika Jayne. It has been revealed that she ALLEGEDLY spent some $25 million that her husband Tom Girardi deposited into the bank account of her LLC and she had no idea it was there until it came time to spend it.

But those coins are all gone and this week Jayne was spotted at TJ Maxx looking sad and poor. Good.

Oh, and she lied again on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when she told a story about Tom’s house being broken into, and how he confronted the burglar, and was then taken to the hospital, and she sent her son to check on him because she couldn’t go and then her son rolled his car on a snowy road coming home from the hospital.

Rolling cars is a thing in her family because she also claims Tom rolled his car off a cliff six years ago.

But here’s the lie … in January, authorities confirmed that officers responded to an ALLEGED forced entry through a broken window at Tom’s home but there was no report of Tom confronting said burglar.

Maybe it was Erika trying to clean out one of the safes?

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Oh, JLo, my heart bleeds for you.

In between parading current fiancé Ben Affleck around the world for photo shoots and make-out sessions, Jennifer Lopez announced that she feels like an “outsider” in Hollywood. In fact, even though she’s such an outsider she has, according to her IMdb page, some six projects lined up, JLo took part in Sephora’s “We Belong” campaign to talk about being an outside in Tinsel Town because … wait for it … she felt snubbed by the Academy for not getting a Best Supporting Actress Oscar last year. In fact, she even whined to Oprah about it:

“I felt like I let everyone down a little bit. I was sad. I was a little sad because there was a lot of buildup to it. There were so many articles, I got so many good notices — more than ever in my career and there was a lot of: ‘She’s going to get nominated for an Oscar, it’s going to happen; if it doesn’t you’re crazy.’ I’m reading all the articles going: ‘Oh my God, could this happen?’ And then it didn’t and I was like: ‘Ouch.’ It was a little bit of a letdown.”

Snubbed for a trophy and she feels like an outsider? I have an idea, JLo, get out of Hollywood, and then you might really feel like an outsider.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Last week Katharine McPhee gave birth to her five-times married, twice her age husband, David Foster’s, child, and now she’s out again to tell y’all that, while she loves her serial divorcing husband, she was initially worried about how the public would view their age gap:

“We all have the ability to label things and to look at something for the way that it looks or face value and make a judgment. So I totally get the judgment initially, but things are never as they appear, things are never exactly as they appear and I’m in love with our love story and that’s all that matters … The perception of what people try to create, especially with women, it’s always the woman’s fault. It’s the woman who wants to be with the older man because he has money and he’s had success and she wants this, that, I mean, our story’s been the complete opposite.”

Wait. Is she suggesting that she has the success and the money and that’s why Foster married her?

Stop it, Katherine, marry whomever you want, and have their child. But just know that it looks odd with your five-times married double your age hubby, and know that when you’re seventy-something and decide to marry a thirty-year-old man, it’ll look just as odd.

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Also last week, Alec Baldwin, actor, blowhard, husband to a woman who fakes her ethnicity, quit Twitter, for the third time, after being Twit-shamed  for tweeting about Gillian Anderson’s British and American accents.

He wrote, “Switching accents? That sounds…fascinating,” obviously thinking it makes what his wife has done her whole life sound reasonable. Alec announced his Twitter departure in a 10-minute-long Instagram video rant, being sure to mention he was a big Gillian fan, and his tweet was actually very high-brow “irony” that went over the heads of the entire world.

Well, now Gillian is speaking, and addressing the kerfuffle over accepting her Golden Globe for The Crown with an American accent:

“I don’t have social media on my phone so I wasn’t [aware]. A couple people texted to say that something was going on. I didn’t pay any attention to it because it’s just something that I live. I grew up between two countries and so depending on who is in my ear is which direction my accent goes, so I’m so used to it that it’s kind of old news for me.”

Gillian was asked if Baldwin reached out to her:

“I haven’t heard from him. It doesn’t matter. It’s so not a newsworthy item, but I’m sad that it’s caused him so much distress.”

The shade! Though the distress was that Gillian, who has lived in both England and America all her life shouldn’t be taken to task like Baldwin’s wife, who claimed she was Spanish, born and raised, changed her name, albeit not legally, and pretends not to know how to say cucumber in English. Baldwin’s distress is that his wife was outed as a liar.

I love Gillian’s dig that she isn’t bothered by Alec’s rant because she doesn’t live in the social media world.

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So, Piers Morgan, once thought to be England’s Larry King, walked off his chat show gig in the wake of the Harry and Meghan interview and his assertion that Meghan Markle is just a plain liar and, well, he knows that for a fact.

And he wants y’all to know he didn’t dash off your tellys the  Ofcom, the British equivalent to the FCC, has launched an investigation “after more than 41,000 people wrote in to complain” about Piers’ comments about Meghan’s mental health struggles.

No he did it because Meghan lies … like the time she met Piers for drinks and chats, and then, after their date, she took off in a cab for a party where she met a Hot Ginger Prince, fell in love and married him and never called Piers Morgan back, even though his was sitting bedside in his nighty waiting for that call.

Sad little man. Meghan didn’t like him so he’s taken every single chance he can to not only bash her but make light of her disclosure about depression and suicide.

Pig, that Piers.

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Prince William broke his silence this week regarding Harry and Meghan’s interview with Oprah, specifically the part about being asked what color their son might be. And while Bill admitted that he hadn’t spoken to Harry—though he says he will—he was firm when asked about the most damaging claims made in the interview that the family’s treatment of them was racially motivated:

“We’re very much not a racist family.”

First off, Bill, neither one of them said the “family” was racist, they said they were questions asked of them regarding the as yet-to-be born Archie’s skin color; there was also the notion that Archie, the son of a Prince would not be given a royal title, and as such, would have no royal protection.

Really? Even Fergie and Andrew’s offspring were given titles, but not the baby of a Prince and his biracial wife? Sounds like, while it may not be the whole family, someone in the family is an ignorant ass.

I think it’s Chuck, even though Betty Windsor, in her brief statement on the interview, said the “issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning,” but politely said that “recollections may vary.”

Which is kinda what racists say when they get busted being racist.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I sometimes wish these divorcing celebrities would take the high road, and divorce peacefully and privately and amicably, but then who the hell would I talk about, amirite?

Dr. Dre has been in a contentious divorce battle with soon-to-be-when-the-money-issues-are-resolved-ex-wife Nicole forever. The once-happy couple was married for over 24 years before Nicole filed for divorce and the messiness started.

Nicole claimed Dre tore up their prenup in a romantic gesture and so she wanted $2 million a month in spousal support. Well, Dre wasn’t keen on cutting a $24 million yearly check, so he brought the prenup back. Then he had an aneurysm and apparently felt bad, so he coughed up $2 million to Nicole for expenses. When he recovered, Nicole threw down the Cheating Gauntlet and tried to subpoena Dre’s ALLEGED mistresses over houses he ALLEGEDLY bought them, and the gloves were off again.

Now the ball is in Dre’s court and so what does he do? He recorded a diss track where he talks smack Nicole cuz that’s how grown folk act:

Trying to kill me with them lies and that perjury

I see you trying to f**k me while I’m in surgery

In ICU death bed on some money shit

Greedy bitch take a pic

Girl you know how money get.

Isn’t that lovely? And just think how his children will feel hearing their father talk this way about their mother.

And how they’ll feel when Nicole decides to respond in kind.

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I haven’t read Mariah Carey’s memoir because, well, simply put Mariah Carey, but apparently her family is a hot mess—she ALLEGES that her older sister Alison, who was arrested for prostitution in 2016, drugged a twelve-year-old Mariah and tried to sell her to a pimp.

No, not Tommy Mottola.

Mariah also had stories about a violent incident ALLEGEDLY involving her “ex-brother” Morgan which has caused him to sue his, I guess, ex-sister for defamation and “intentional infliction of emotional distress.”  Morgan says Mariah’s book “damaged his reputation” and he needs coins to make it all better.

In his legal fling, Morgan ALLEGES Mariah damaged his reputation when she wrote about a violent struggle he had with their father:

“It took twelve cops to pull my brother and father apart. The big bodies of men, all entangled like a swirling hurricane, crashed loudly into the living room.”

Well, first off: I’m’a file suit against Mimi for the line the “big bodies of men, all entangled like a swirling hurricane.” I mean, that hurt my ears beyond repair. But, back at the lawsuit: in the book Mimi says Morgan “pushed my mother with such force that her body slammed into the wall, making a loud cracking sound.”

Morgan says both accounts are lies, though he says any “actual fights with his father never happened when Mariah was a child” and that “there’s no way 12 cops would respond to a domestic violence report.”  He also says there’s no way he would have ever hurt his mother because he loves her; oh, and because tons of people witnessed the “deep affection” between him and his mother. He even claims Mimi contradicted herself in the book when she recounted her mother once saying, “Morgan is the only one I love.”

Morgan’s action calls for the payment of unspecified damages, and seeks “a judicial determination that many of the passages in [the memoir] … are false and defamatory”. It claims the book caused Morgan “serious damage to his reputation and to his personal and business affairs” and “extreme mental anguish”, and that it negatively affected negotiations for a feature film he was developing.

But it all goes away when the coins come his direction.

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This week Alec Baldwin decided he needed more attention and Tweeted a link to a CNN article entitled “Gillian Anderson’s American accent throws some people off”. It was about how Gillian Anderson bounces between her British and American accents.

Kinda like Alec’s esposa, er, wife, Hilaria Hillary, who goes back and forth between her native Spanish and her more native English? Y’all remember the kerfuffle when we learned that Hillary Baldwin is not from Spain and has been pretending to be Spanish for years, even though she was born and raised in New England?

But Alec missed the mark here because, while Gillian Anderson was born in Chicago, shortly after her birth, her family moved to London, where they lived until she was 11 years old. After that, they returned to America, but still summered in London.  So, clearly Alec saw imagined similarities between Anderson and Hillary but, to be fair, Gillian has never pretended to be from England, never acted as though she couldn’t pronounce an American English word, and didn’t say things like “lift” and “bangers and mash” because she was faking her ancestry.

And so, Twitter, and Gillian Anderson fans, came for Alec and read him so badly for filth that he once again claimed social media is for haters—but not when he uses it—and he’s done with it; again. And then he posted a nearly ten-minute-long video on Instagram bitching about the haters:

“Wanted to post a quick video to say that I deactivated my Twitter account today.”

But he clearly kept his Instagram because where else can he seek attention. In the video, Alec does not name Gillian by name but explained about his stupid Tweet:

“I just wrote, ‘Oh, that’s interesting.’ And of course, you can’t do any irony on Twitter—you can’t do any irony in the United States anymore because the United States is such [an] uptight, stressed-out place and such an unpleasant place right now.”

He goes on to say he’s a “huge fan” of Anderson’s and didn’t mean to offend her, but found it similar that both Gillian and his wife—who, remember, even changed the spelling of her name to pretend to be Spanish—are influenced by different cultures:

“But I find that, of course, on Twitter, which is where all the a**oles in the United States and beyond go to get their advanced degrees in a**hole-iness, that I had used it as a news aggregator, and I suppose I will do my best to find other places that are similar in their news aggregation in real time and periodicals I like.”

Take it down a notch, Karen. It was clear you were trying to explain away your wife’s decades long lie by comparing her to Gillian Anderson when there is no comparison. So stay off Twitter if it’s too hard, but be prepared for the haters, AKA—in your case—the truth tellers, to find you elsewhere.

And, as you wife would say in her "native" tongue:

“Adios.”

Oops. I mean Goodbye.

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Remember that whole sexual harassment scandal involving former CBS bigshot Les Moonves? The one that cost him his job? Yeah? Well, it’s also cost CBS tens of millions of dollars after the network was court-ordered to pay actress Bobbie Phillips for the sexual harassment claims— including her allegation that Moonves forced her to perform oral sex on him in a 1995 meeting—after the network leaked the story to the media.

Phillips says that in 1995 Moonves dropped his pants in front of her and said:

“Look how hard you make me. Be my girlfriend and I’ll put you on any show.”

He then, ALLEGEDLY, grabbed her by the neck and forced her to perform oral sex. Phillips was able to break free by grabbing a baseball bat after he was interrupted by a phone call.

Moonves later said to Phillips’ longtime Hollywood agent, Marv Dauer:

“If Bobbie talks, I’m finished.”

And he is.

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Last week 36-year-old Katharine McPhee gave birth to her first child, a son, with her 71-year-old husband David Foster.

The boy is David’s first son, and joins his five stepsisters, four of whom are older than his mother.

That’s all.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Solange Knowles, the 33-year-old sister of Beyoncé and her 56-year-old music video director, Alan Ferguson, have separated. It was confirmed on Instagram … cuz that’s how it’s done.

Who cares, right? Well, I kinda do because  she out-Goop’d Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” in the confirmation:

“the past 2 years have brought me more physical and spiritual transition and evolution than ever before my body left me with no choice but to listen and be still within that stillness i begin my journey in confronting my worst enemy, fear. ive lived my best and worst moments in front of the lens and gaze of the world since i was a teenager. ive always tried to live in my truth no matter how ugly or full of love it is. ive also tried to carve out the space to protect my heart, and my life as it unfolds, evolves, and changes. 11 years ago i met a phenomenal man who changed every existence of my life. early this year we separated and parted ways, (and tho it ain’t nan no body business) i find it necessary to protect the sacredness of my personal truth and to live in it fully just as I have before and will continue to do. it is unfair to not have power of your own story as you shape and mold and rewrite it yourself. a n–a ain’t perfect, but im leaning into the fear of the unknown and all the glory and power i know exist within god and the universes grace. may all of your transitions no matter how big or small, be kind to you and filled with incredible love and light!”

Wow, that was a word salad of epic proportions. She beats Goop in style, but Goop scored on literacy and punctuation.

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Poor Sarah Jessica Parker. First, her plans to make some big coins doing a third Sex and the City movie that no one asked for, were scuttled, and now someone has made off with her Halloween pumpkins.

SJP had driven all the way to the Berkshires for the right pumpkins and then displayed them on the stoop of her NYC home and someone stole them. And, so she did what all self-entitled people do, she took to social media to report the crime and, well, the wrong was righted when people began leaving pumpkins outside the Parker-Broderick home in an attempt to save Halloween for a One Percenter.

Seriously. She whines, and people bought pumpkins for her. I guess perhaps she really did need those SATC coins.

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Nicki Minaj loves a feud right up until someone throws a show, but, what did she expect folks to say when she decided to marry Kenneth Petty, a convicted sex offender? Enter loudmouth, unless it comes to her own drama, Wendy Williams, who decided she just can’t get beyond that whole sex offender business and is taking Nicki’s marriage to her snark corner. But did Williams go too far when she talked about Petty being a “killer” and a “sex offender“?

Perhaps; because Nicki took to her Queen Radio show to passive aggressively fire back about Wendy’s marital and substance abuse issues without even mentioning Williams by name:

“There are people who report the news and there are people who do it with an evil intent in their heart, viciousness. And I pray for you because I know you’re hurting and I know you must be sick and humiliated … I didn’t know that in our society, you have to be plagued by your past. I didn’t know that people can’t turn over a new leaf. I didn’t know that your viciousness and evilness was this deep rooted. When a woman isn’t really being loved at home, the viciousness is a different type. So I really wanted to pray for you today, because look at where you are now in your life. Look at what age you are. You’re sat up there being vicious all this time, and paid for that man’s mistress all these years. You paid for her shopping sprees, you paid for her hotels, you probably even paid for her GYN bills, you paid to have that baby delivered, hoe… If I were you, I would go and pray, ask for forgiveness. You can report the news–people do it all the time–without the level of viciousness and trying to play dumb and doing all this nonsense … How you doin’, stupid?”

Okay, passive aggressive until that last Wendy Williams™ line. And not a single shoe was thrown.

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Katharine McPhee recently penned a sweet tribute to husband David Foster, who celebrated his 70th birthday:

“I’ve known this man for 13 years now! What was once a working relationship became a friendship and ultimately led us here. Anyone who meets him talks about how charming he is, so much so that he eventually charmed his way into my heart.”

Well, he had the time because he is literally twice her age.

And he had the experience because McPhee is the fifth Missus Foster. Don’t hold your breath for everlasting love.

Just sayin’.

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Bill Murray recently went on Amy Schumer’s podcast and he talked about his dream job: working at P.F. Chang’s.

Oh, but he did, and it’s not just any P.F. Chang’s, it’s the one inside the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport:

“I did fill out an application at P.F. Chang’s at the Atlanta airport, because I think it’s one of the best places. It looks like they are having the best time working at P.F. Chang’s.”

I can almost picture it, but then I picture the Bill Murray who ALLEGDLY threw an ashtray at his What About Bob co-star Richard Dreyfuss and wonder how Murray might react to the guest who complains about cold Won Ton Soup.

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It's Snarkurday!

That Woman must not have any children to whore out to the press right now, so she’s out there whoring her own self.

Last week she was seen in Beverly Hills with a ginormous zirconia on that finger, apparently to make y’all believe that her professional walker, Corey Gamble, who’s been her squire since her divorce from Caitlyn Jenner in 2014, had popped the question.

As a Kardastrophe, though, she doesn’t outright spill the tea, but instead posts a picture of said ring on said finger and then lets it go.

That Woman is 62-years-old in human years while Corey is a quarter century younger, and way too hot to be seen with the likes of the Demon herself.

I hope Corey didn’t put a ring on it because she’ll put a leash on him and turn him into a Very Special Episode of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes until such time as his coma wears off and he runs for the hills.

Seriously. Look at him. Look at her … if you can … these two things don’t go together.

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I used to like Kathy Griffin; loved her snarky sense of humor, but after that _____ bloody head mess, she turned all desperate and thirsty and began acting like she was a victim in this mess. And now she’s going all victim again by reigniting a feud she’s had with Ellen DeGeneres about Joan Rivers … who passed away four years ago!

Griffin claims that the last time she saw Rivers before she died in 2014, Joan told her that Ellen had “shunned” her and how hurt she was by it; naturally Griffin shared this story with an audience:

“One of the things that really hurt Joan, and we talked about it at our last meal together, was that Ellen always shunned her and Ellen thought she was vulgar and not funny.”

And Kathy told the audience that she called Ellen to get her to appear at a tribute for Rivers and Ellen rebuffed her, saying “there’s a difference between mean and funny.” Griffin says:

“That fucking set me off. So, we had a fight in which I used inflammatory words like, ‘Look you fucking untalented hack.’”

Says the Bravo’s D-Listed celeb-wannabe to the woman with the hugely popular TV series and boatloads of cash. Well, several days later, Griffin says she tried to reach out to Ellen again, this time to do a sketch with her that involved them fighting. Yes, she started a fight with Ellen, who, let’s be clear, did not sink down and take the bait, and then asked Ellen to do a comedy sketch about the fight that Ellen did not have.

Thirsty bitch, that Griffin. Ellen said No; and that started Kathy Griffin’s dislike for Ellen and it’s why she’s still talking about it four years later. But this isn’t the first time Griffin has said Ellen doesn’t like her. In 2016, Griffin included a blind item in her book about a “daytime talk show host” with “short blonde hair” who had a “mean streak that all of Hollywood knows about.”

Griffin later confirmed it was about Ellen … a “daytime talk show host” with “short blonde hair” … could it have been Oprah?  … and says Ellen called her about that and went “on a rant” that left Griffin in tears.

“After the phone call I literally started sobbing. At the end of the day, whether we like each other or not, I’m always going to support a woman, over fifty, in the game, and making a great living.”

Wait. Let’s rehash … Griffin tried to get Ellen to perform at a tribute for someone Ellen didn’t like … Ellen refused … Griffin yelled at her … then Griffin was surprised that Ellen wouldn’t do a sketch with her … two years later she says Ellen is mean in real life because she didn’t jump when Kathy demanded.

Seriously. Ellen has yet to say one word about Kathy Griffin, who is the one who looks like a mean bitch to me.

And a thirsty one at that.

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Some old TV show gossip? Dukes of Hazzard style?

Apparently, Bo Hazzard, AKA John Schneider, has said he’d rather go to jail than pay his ex-wife, Elvira—not that Elvira—over $150,000 in back alimony. They were married 25 years and John thinks he’s give her enough coins and would rather sit behind bars that cough up any more.

Well then, lock him up and only let him out when his job in the laundry has earned him the 150K he owes the ex.

I imagine a few days as Bo, The Prison Bitch might change his mind and open his wallet.

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Oops, #MeToo has another case. And this time it’s Black-ish star Anthony Anderson who is being investigated by the LAPD for assault.

Charges filed last week by a woman who formerly worked with Anthony as a caterer at a private event last year. They met up once after his event to talk about future work, and that is when the ALLEGED inappropriate behavior went down. Now, there aren’t many, or any details, but Anderson is already on the offensive:

“It’s unfortunate that anyone can file a police report whether it is true or false. The authorities have not contacted Anthony or any of his representatives about this matter. Anthony unequivocally disputes the claim.”

Team Anthony might wanna simmer for a hot minute because this isn’t the first time someone has claimed he was inappropriate.

In 2004, he was charged with an ALLEGED rape of an extra on the Memphis set of Hustle & Flow. That woman claimed that both Anthony and an assistant director on the film both raped her. The charges were dropped after the judge declared the whole thing to be “the most suspicious case I’ve ever heard.”

ABC, home to Black-ish, has yet to say anything, because they’re probably trying to figure out how not to lose another hit show over the actions of its star. Just sayin’.

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Ever since Gwyneth Paltrow launched GOOP in 2008 it’s been accused of being full of quacks and charlatans … and run by a bad actress, but maybe that was just me? I mean, remember when Gwynnie claimed that shoving a $66 egg-shaped crystal in your cooch could “balance your hormones”? Or those amazing $60 stickers … yes, stickers … that could boost “boost cell turnover”?

Snake oil saleswoman. Well, Gwynnie wanted to create a magazine to spread her ridiculous thoughts and ideas but the magazine failed after just two issues. Paltrow, never one to accept responsibility, places the blame on publisher Condé Nast because they weren’t keen on publishing half-truths and lies.

Paltrow had hoped the magazine would be like the website and be a place where the GOOP team of quacks could go unchallenged in their assertions that “earthing”—AKA walking barefoot—is healing, among other things. And she is trying to spin the craziness of her site’s claims by saying this … with a straight Botoxed face:

“We’re never making statements.”

Um, yeah you were; put the egg in your cooch and this will happen. That’s an assertion Paltrow. But now, in an effort to at least look legitimate, she’s hired a team of lawyers and the fact-checkers who work overtime to prove what Paltrow claims … crystal eggs, $1500 white T’s, and going barefoot … have medicinal qualities.

Seriously, you think a lawyer will say that GOOP isn’t hogwash?

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It’s been over two years since the internet and the Beyhive opened up a case file into figuring out the identity of the “Becky with the Good Hair,” you know, the girl who took a ride on Jay-Z. The case remained unsolved, though many think Becky is designer Rachel Roy and others think it’s Rita Ora.

Cue one Amber Rose, who Inspector Clouseau’d herself into the story and now claims that Becky is one Gwyneth Paltrow. Ick. Recently Amber was a guest on Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s podcast, Make Speidi Famous Again—don’t get me started on that mess—and made her case for Gwyneth taking a spin on Z dick:

“I definitely think that Gwyneth Paltrow is ‘Becky with the good hair … I feel like she’s the one who was, like, f**king Jay-Z. They were like friends, and then, like, you don’t see Gwyneth Paltrow with Beyoncé anymore. It just seems like she was the one that was f**king Jay-Z, and now Gwyneth lost her husband, but like Beyoncé’s still with Jay.”

First off, Amber, lay off the ‘likes;’ you’re not twelve. That said, she does make a strong case for Gwyneth being Becky especially when Paltrow’s team of lawyers and factcheckers instantly leapt forward to claim the accusation is “absurd” and 100 percent false.

And another source—possibly Paltrow burning love letters to Jay Z in which she asks him to make her his Queen Bey—claims Amber was just joking. But … was she?

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Sixty-eight-year-old David Foster’s daughter, Erin, posted this comment on one of her father’s Instagram posts where he posed with his fiancé the literally half his age Katharine McPhee.

“Mommyyy.”

At 35, Erin is one year older than Mommyyy.

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