Why Is It ...

… that the people who demand you say, ‘Merry Christmas,’ instead of ‘Happy Holidays’ the same people who worship the guy whose Christmas wish was ‘Rot in hell’?

… that a lot of attractive people suddenly become unappealing when you find out how they think?

… that whenever a Southerner tells me that it’s not ‘soda,’ it’s ‘pop,’ I always feel the need to ask them how many times they go to a bar and order ‘vodka and pop’?

… that sometimes when I can’t explain what I’m feeling I can find a song that can?

… that sometimes I’ll say ‘I don’t care’ about a proposition and then talk to myself about it for three days?

… that I wish people would be more grateful that I am not as disrespectful as I can be?

… that pickles are fantastic until you’re in one?

… that when someone tells me I’m cute, I think, ‘I’m feral and chaotic, so don’t touch me’?

… that I still don’t know what I’m wearing to the living room for New Year’s Eve so I might not even go?

Meme Dump

The Funny Papers

Ann Telnaes. Mike Luckovich, Adam Zyglis, Michael de Adder, JD Crowe, Ted Littleford, Bill Bramhall, Dennis Goris, Liam Simonelli, Clay Bennett, Bill Day, David Horsey, Deb Milbrath, Gary Huck, Trevor Irvin

Tuesday Thought #3

 

Random Musings

The other night Carlos and I were watching the Critic’s Choice Awards because, well, we’re gay and we love awards shows ... okay, because I love awards shows, and Ryan Reynolds .... lord is he hot and funny and hot .... won an award for Deadpool. As he was accepting the award, this was the conversation in our house ...

Carlos: Who is that?

Bob: Ryan Reynolds. God he’s hot.

Carlos: Is he Debbie Reynolds' son?

Bob: No. What? No! Debbie Reynolds is her stage name, so if he was her son he’d have a different last name; like, Carrie Fisher is Debbie Reynolds’ daughter but she has the last name of her father, Eddie Fisher.

Carlos: I just thought since they had the same last name ...

Bob: Well, Reynolds Wrap is her cousin.

Carlos: I don't even know who that is.

Bob: It’s aluminum foil?

Carlos: I thought you meant Reynolds Rap, like a rapper.

Seriously.

‘Memba when _____ blasted Ted Cruz for his associations with Wall Street and Goldman Sachs?

‘Memba when _____ blasted Hillary Clinton for her associations with Wall Street and Goldman Sachs?

Well, _____ just named Goldman Sachs President and COO Gary Cohn to be his National Economic Council Director. 

Drain the Swamp, my ass.

I don’t usually go for the Beefy Mens, but ... John Cena. Wrestler, and now actor, and, well, he’s kinda funny. Plus, in Trainwreck he dared to give us a glimpse, on more than one occasion, of his glorious backside.

So, beefy hot and funny ... a winning combination but ...

He also appeared in this PSA so ...

Beefy hot and funny and smart and compassionate ....

I really would love to scale that man. Just sayin’.

Poor Rudy ... he shoved his head far up the _____ rump to get the Secretary of State position and as soon as it became clear that he wasn’t gonna get it, he started saying he turned the job down.

Sit down, Rudy, no one believes a word that comes out of your mouth.

Oh, and since you won’t be _____’s right-hand ass-kisser, go away.

I actually heard a man in a store the other day say Merry Christmas to someone and the checker was overjoyed ...

Checker: It’s about time people said Merry Christmas instead that Happy Holidays stuff.

Bob: But what if you aren’t a Christian or you don’t celebrate Christmas, wouldn’t Happy Holidays be better?

Checker: I celebrate Christmas.

Bob: So, it’s all about you then? No one else matters?

Checker ...

Bob: No, no, I got my answer. You can have these things back, I’ll shop somewhere else ..... Happy Holidays.

So North Carolina’s governor, Pat McCrory—who was one of those rabid proponents of the so-called “bathroom bills” stoking the fires of hate in his state with ludicrous statements about men in dresses in the ladies room raping children—was finally flushed last week, proving that resistance works, hate does not win, transphobia is unacceptable.

And that’s all well and good, but what makes it great is that, in light of McCrory being flushed out of office, Kentucky's Republican Governor Matt Bevin has announced that he will not use the state's new GOP majority to push through a bill restricting transgender bathroom use even though earlier this year, Bevin joined a lawsuit challenging the federal government's directive that public schools allow students to use the bathroom of their gender identity.

Matty did the flip-flop, saying Kentucky has no need to pass a law restricting transgender bathroom use because it is not an issue here. Or maybe it’s not an issue worth getting yourself flushed out of office?

In another step towards GOP dictatorship, the Republican Party has given control of state-run radio to President-elect _____.

An amendment quietly inserted into the annual National Defense Authorization Act by Republican House leaders would abolish the broadcasting board and place Voice of America [VOA], Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty [RFE/RL] and other international news and information operations under the direct control of a chief executive appointed by the president.

President _____ is really angling to be Putin’s bitch.

Resist.

Sitting at one of our local bars the other night after work, enjoying a glass of wine, I overheard the conversation of two Republican gentlemen sitting nearby. A news channel on one of the televisions had a report on climate change and this is what the two men were saying ....

Gentleman #1: I don’t believe in global warming. It’s all just a myth. I mean, look how cold it’s been lately.

Gentleman #2: Yeah, it’s all fake, but I do think there’s some truth to this climate change stuff.

I wanted to shout ‘Global warming and climate change are the same thing you two asshats’ but, well, I had a second glass of wine instead.

Still, with fools like these men calling themselves Republicans, how did they manage to get _____ elected?

The Funny Papers

Clay Bennett, Bill Day, Darrin Bell, Jim Morin, John Cole, Tom Stiglich