I Didn't Say It........

Matt Damon, to teachers:

"So, the next time you’re feeling down, or exhausted, or unappreciated, or at the end of your rope; the next time you turn on the TV and see yourself being called “overpaid”; the next time you encounter some simple-minded, punitive policy that’s been driven into your life by some corporate reformer who has literally never taught anyone anything, please, please, please know that there are millions of us behind you. You have an army of regular people standing right behind you and our appreciation for what you do is so deeply felt. We love you, we thank you and we will always have your back."


Nicely put.
As the son of a teacher, and the product of teachers, many of them extraordinary, we need to do all we can for them.
For without teachers we might are be illiterate, uninformed, incoherent, Michele Bachmannites.
Just sayin'.


Dr. Keith Ablow, writing for Fox News, as an asshat:

"I advise parents to not allow their children to watch the episodes in which Chaz appears....Chaz Bono should not be applauded for asserting she is a man (and goes about trying to look like one) any more than a woman who believes she will be happier without arms, has them removed and then continues to assert that she was right all along—her self-concept was that of a double amputee. Now, all is well. Chaz Bono should not be applauded any more than someone who, tragically, believes that his species, rather than gender, is what is amiss and asks a plastic surgeon to build him a tail of flesh harvested from his abdomen. If only a plastic surgeon would acquiesce, all would be well."


Hey, um, "Doctor"?
STFU.
Chaz is not asserting anything other than dancing.
HE, yes, motherfucker, HE, has the same rights to be on some cheesy reality show as anyone else. And if you don't like it, fine, then you don't watch. But don't spread fear and hate and bigotry and intolerance.
Seriously.
STFU.


Judith Weisman, Liberty University law professor, on all gays--and women--being pedophiles:
"We know that pedophilia, which was the original Greek they say it’s ‘love of’ but of course it isn’t, it’s ‘lust for’ boys. And there’s a strong, clear, cross-cultural, historical reality, people don’t want to do deal with, but the propaganda has been loud and strong to deny the fact, the aim of homosexual males and now increasingly females is not to have sex with other old guys and get married but to obtain sex with as many boys as possible. That’s the reality. I wish it weren’t, but it is."


Hey "Professor"?
STFU.
Any idiot with an education and an internet connection can discover that the majority--and it's well over 90%--of pedophiles are heterosexual men.
Heterosexual men.
Pedophilia, child molestation, child rape, are not sex acts, but acts of power over someone else. The pedophile feels so inadequate that they must molest young boys and girls in order to feel a sense of power and control.
It isn't about sex any more than you are about education.
Seriously.
STFU.

Kathy Griffin, on how Marcus Bachmann is her act and her audience:
"Okay, he's very anti-gay and LGBT rights, and it's odd, because if you look at him on YouTube, it's almost as if he himself... or, it's as if...I would say that Marcus Bachmann reminds me of a lot of the type of men who come see my live shows...And he wants people to 'pray the gay away' and so I was going to call the special 'Pray the Gay Back'" but Bravo changed it to Pants Off."


Marcus Bachmann is probably getting a little tingly in his nether region at the words "Pants Off" though.

You go get 'em Kathy.
He'll be enraged, maybe, but he'll be watching....and watching again when Michele goes to her own room for the night.

Joe Solmonese, of the HRC, on the mistrial in the Lawrence King murder case:

“It is disappointing that the criminal justice system has failed to bring closure to the family, friends and community that loved Lawrence. In the wake of the mistrial, and in honor of Lawrence, we will continue our efforts to prevent these types of tragedies by working with school districts across our nation to stamp out the ignorance and prejudice that led to Lawrence’s death. It’s up to the adults around children to call out that early behavior and prejudice, and to explain that the differences among us are part of what makes us strong: that being different is not something to attack, but to appreciate. If Lawrence or Brandon had lived in that world, their lives might not have collided in tragedy and death.”


It's a sad world where one young boy can take a loaded gun into school, walk up behind another young boy, shoot him in the back of the head, and have a mistrial declared.
It's also a sad world when just expressing your love, your attraction, your like, to another human being can result in your being murdered.

Lacey Schwimmer, Chaz Bono's DWTS partner, on the "controversy: 

"No human is perfect, so why are they pointing out what they perceive to be an imperfection in someone else? It's not cool. We’re all taught to not bully, or harass, and treat everyone as equals yet all these people are doing exactly the opposite...At the end of the day, everyone is going to have a hater. I choose not to listen to it, because it’s ridiculous. To us, it’s more important to focus on the positive people. I was absolutely thrilled [to be paired with Chaz]. I’ve always been a huge supporter of the LGBT community and I couldn’t be more excited to have Chaz. Not only is he Sonny & Cher’s child but he’s also a generally cool person...This is my sixth season -- the producers know that I’m very open-minded and really accepting of everyone. Ever since Lance [Bass] was on the show, it opened the door for the LGBT community to be accepted in Middle America and it’s about time. It’s 2011, let’s evolve a little bit here."


Oh, I think we need to evolve all the way.
But, it's a step.

Rick Perry, speaking to evangelicals and teabaggers, about any secrets--i.e. rumors that he's a flamer--in his life: 

"I can assure you that there is nothing in my life that will embarrass you if you decide to support me for president."


Other than the fact that you are a lying, pandering, big business, non-job creating, pray the drought away, bigoted asshat who looks and acts and walks and talks like W.
And, since we've been down that road before, I certainly hope we are smart enough not to go back.

Bryan Fischer, of the AFA,  on recriminalizing homosexuality, and passing laws outlaw unprotected sex:

"What I’m suggesting is that we enact ordinances in city after city and laws in state after state that mandate that same exact penalty - whatever penalty gay activists think is appropriate - for unprotected homosexual sex. Hey, if it’s good enough for porn stars, it should be good enough for the average gay man on the street. And if someone wants to extend that same penalty to unmarried straights who have sex, who am I to complain?"


This is so over the top as to be incomprehensible.
Outlaw being gay?
Outlaw unprotected sex for everyone who isn't a married heterosexual?
Seriously, is the Delusional Bus ever gonna pick this fucktard up and take him away?

Jane Lynch speaks out about hosting Emmys:

 "I'm a person, not just a gay person. So I don't focus on gay things like [my sexuality]. I just focus on good jokes and being funny. I've thought of every aspect of it, I'm very much collaborating with everybody." 


She isn't the "gay" host. She's the host.
Just like NPH.
When we limit ourselves to one defining identity, i.e. gay, we limit ourselves completely.
We are not gay people.
We are people who are gay.
Subtle, yes, but still a difference.

Gary DeMar, "evangelist", on a Gay Death Penalty being enacted Christians achieve dominion over the United States:

"Obviously, certain sins often may escape detection. Homosexuals who practice behind closed doors are out-of-bounds for the courts, of course, unless others witness their criminal behavior. Such behavior may not be dealt with by courts in history, but will be dealt with by God, either in history (e.g., AIDS) or eternity. The law that requires the death penalty for homosexual acts effectually drives the perversion of homosexuality underground, back to the closet, to the dark realm of shameful activity."


So, this "man of god' wants to Kill The Gays.
And keeps spreading the myth that AIDS is god's punishment for being gay, even though straight men and women, and even children have died as a result of AIDS.
It's punishment.
Look, fucktard, I ain't goin' back in the closet.
None of us are.....so, deal.

Oscar De La Hoya, former boxer, on those 2007 photos that showed him in full-body fishnet drag, but blaming it on cocaine and alcohol addiction which he says he has since conquered:

"Let me to tell you, yes, yes, it was me. I am tired now of lying, of lying to the public and of lying to myself."


So, he puts on a fishnet body-suit and a wig and some make-up and poses for pictures and then denies that it's him for four years.
Until he decides to admit it's him, but that it was cocaine and booze that made him do it?
Maybe if he'd admitted it right away he could have gotten sober sooner.

David Arquette, on his fellow DWTS "star" Rob Kardashian's backside:

"The thing about Rob is, and a lot of people don't know this, but he's got a great ass just like his sister...I'm serious! Once you see it, his ass is fantastic...And I really think it's going to be a secret weapon."


David sounds like he's up for trading dance partners so he can grab a coupla handfuls of Kardashian boy booty.
And yet, I don't hear any outrage about that.

Troy Aikman, former Dallas Cowboy, holding a grudge for Skip Bayless speculating that Aikman was gay...FIFTEEN YEARS AGO: 
"When a guy like that comes out and, whether it's intimated or stated, and there's no substance to that claim, and he's doing it purely to gain interest in a book, that's a problem...I will tell you this. I've not seen -- I've not physically seen Skip Bayless since that time. That was in '95. And I still kind of wonder what I might do to him when I do see him." 


Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
It's been FIFTEEN years, Troy.
Build a bridge and get your ALLEGEDLY straight ass over it.

I Didn't Say It.......

Piers Morgan, on banning Madonna from his show:

"It can only be rescinded if she makes a formal apology. For all the grief she's caused me by being Madonna....I was interested to see she doesn't know who I am because Madonna and I have been feuding for 25 years...When I watched her in the days of "Holiday," nothing was sexier than Madonna. Watching Madonna at 52 going out with 22-year-old kids called Jesus and stripping her clothes off for magazines, it's like, Please, it's over. We have a new one. It's called Lady Gaga."

I sort of agree with him.
Sacrilege, I know.
I have never been a huge Madonna fan, and it seems like she simply recycles her old ideas.
What's next, an eighty-year-old Madonna posing stark naked on a Florida highway for another Sex book?

Joan Rivers, on being banned by FOX News for calling Sarah Palin stupid:

"What kills me the most is to think I voted for her two-left-footed daughter on Dancing with the Stars. I should have followed my heart and voted for Hasselhoff. Next to her he looked like Nureyev....Since when is Sarah Palin a wordsmith? She's actually compared herself to Shakespeare after she invented the word "refudiate." Then Shakespeare tweeted back from heaven, "Fuckest thou!"

Joan, Joan, Joan.

Why would you want to appear on a network that exists solely to publicize and promote people like Palin and Gingrich and Huckabee?

They're all stupid.

And don't get me started on Beck and O'Reilly and Hannity, the Trifecta of Asshattedness.

Rush Limbaugh, being dumber and more offensive than ever, about Ronald Reagan and the AIDS epidemic:

"The 1980s were just a vitriolic as they were today. Reagan was called a Nazi just like Bush was. Nothing's different. It was--folks, if you weren't alive then or if you weren't old enough to be paying attention, do not doubt me. The hatred for Ronald Reagan was universal in the Democrat Party and throughout the media....These people blamed AIDS on Reagan. Sound familiar? They blamed homelessness on Reagan -- you know why they blamed AIDS on Reagan? Because he didn't care. Because he never delivered a speech about it. And because of that, AIDS was spread. They actually wanted us to believe that Reagan had the disease, was sneaking into gay people's houses at night, and impregnating them with the disease and running out. And when we left their houses he went over to Grant Park, or wherever it was, Lafayette Park and stole the pork and beans of the homeless and took them back to the White House and fixed them up and at them. That's that kind of stuff they were saying about Reagan."

Um, Rush, you drug addicted homophobic ill-informed fucktard.

I wonder if a disease that hit fat-assed, prescription pill popping blowhards hit America and Ronald Reagan never said a word about because he wasn't a fat-assed, prescription pill popping blowhard, if you'd be singing the same tune.

People were dying and the President ignored it.

No one, NO ONE, said he spread AIDS, you illiterate self-involved fucktard.

Catholics For The Common Good--quite the oxymoron--on DC's marriage equality:

"It is shocking that the U.S. Supreme Court did not accept the appeal of District of Columbia citizens who were deprived of their right to vote on the definition of marriage. The Court's decision effectively upheld the finding of the Washington Human Rights Commission that it would be discriminatory to even give citizens a choice to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. The consequences of changing the definition of marriage have broad ramifications for how the value of marriage to children and society is perceived and will affect decisions people make about marriage in their own lives. Already, 41% of children born today are deprived of a mother and father who have first chosen to make themselves irreplaceable to each through marriage. This is a human tragedy and a violation of the rights of the child."

So, it's despicable to allow people to vote on equality?

People can have their opinions on the matter, but equality should never be put up to a vote.

Newly-elected Republican, Alabama Governor Robert Bentley, on how he feels about people who aren't Christian:

“[I]f  you have been adopted in God’s family like I have, and like you have, if you’re a Christian and if you’re saved, and the Holy Spirit lives within you just like the Holy Spirit lives within me, then you know what that makes? It makes you and me brothers. And it makes you and me brother and sister. Now I will have to say that, if we don’t have the same daddy, we’re not brothers and sisters. So anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I’m telling you, you’re not my brother and you’re not my sister, and I want to be your brother.”

Wow.

Alabama really follows that whole "separation of church and state" thing doesn't it.

Non-Christians of Alabama?

Pack up and move, because the governor doesn't think much of you.

Of course, once the firestorm of his idiocy went national, like any good Republican wingnut, Bentley apologized for his bigoted remarks.

Larry Kramer, on the AIDS crisis being a plague that was allowed to happen:

"Governments and bureaucrats and presidents and politicians and the people who run this world lie to people. They tell us HIV is under control. They tell us case numbers are decreasing. They tell us that all is being done that can be done. They tell us HIV is too complicated to eradicate. They tell us gay people and people of color have made more progress than ever before. These are all lies....For some 30-plus years, I have been trying to tell the world where this plague came from and why, and I will continue to do so until I die, too. You see, I simply can't get the memories and the ghosts of just about every friend I had out of my life. And since there is no doubt in my mind that this plague of HIV/AIDS that took them from me was and continues to be allowed to happen, I am duty bound to tell this hideous history as best and as fully as I can. It's the least I can do. That is correct: This plague of HIV/AIDS was intentionally allowed to happen. It still is. Nothing has changed in the intentionality department. Hate has a way of hanging around forever and too often winning out in the end."

Preach it Larry.

We need people like Larry Kramer to keep the world focused on AIDS. They say numbers are decreasing, well, when they say that, they don't mean everywhere. Numbers of HIV-infected people are on the rise all over the world.

Progress is being made, but we still need to keep vigilant.

Kids In The Hall star Scott Thompson, on Canada's banning of Dire Straits' Money For Nothing for its usage of the word "faggot":

"Shakespeare would be rolling over in his g-word. When you ban a word, you make the word more powerful. All this banning that’s going on just makes (the hate) go deeper and deeper into the soul, where it festers. Let it it out. I want to know what you really think. I can handle it. It makes me feel like we’re five years old and need to go potty. The n-word, I guess, is number 1 and the f- word is number 2."

It's a case much like the use of the new version of Huck Finn, where the n-word was replaced by the word 'slave'.

We need to remember that these words, in books and songs, remind us of how it used to be,m and of how far we've come.

And, um, Canada, if you going to ban Money For Nothing, you better start looking at every single rap and hip-hop album, because there's a lot if faggoting going on there, too.

Utah Republican state Senator Chris Buttars, on repealing the Salt Lake City school board's recently instituted anti-bullying rules:

“We’re in big trouble in our public education system. I didn’t realize how much until a month ago when I was asked to chair public education appropriations. We met and when we got done we were all so terrified we couldn’t believe it. This was right under our nose....This is an entire program to bring America down and I want to tell you right now it’s well entrenched in Utah.”

So, instituting a policy against bullying will bring America down?

Wow.

I think what will bring America down is the idea that anyone, regardless of who they are, can be bullied and beaten and harassed and taunted.

That isn't America, Buttars, and you, sir, are an idiot.

Iowa Supreme Court Chief Justice Mark Cady, on whether or not he regretted bringing marriage equality to the state:

“Absolutely not. That decision was crafted with all of the energy, all of the strength — everything that we do as judges is in that opinion. Everything that Iowa is about is in that opinion....“Judges accept that as their role in society. Even a judge that makes a ruling in a criminal case that may result in the suppression of evidence may not be a popular decision, but judges make their decisions based upon the rule of law and that’s what their duty is and that’s the importance and the strength of all of our government.”

The 'rule of law'.

Isn't equality in there somewhere? And why don't more people understand that as well as Cady understands that?

Elaine Donnelly, of the Center For Military Readiness, on former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty's pledge to reinstate DADT should he become president:

"I think he's showing that he is more willing to listen to the voices of combat personnel and leaders than the current administration -- and certainly more so than are the members of Congress, who recklessly rushed to repeal a law that enjoyed such widespread support among the military."

Widespread support in the military?

Did Donnelly not read the survey of military personnel who wanted DADT repealed?

Or is she just another right-wing mouthpiece saying whatever she wants to say as though it were the truth?

As for Pawlenty, well, he's just pandering to the right wing and the Tea Party, because he knows that over, way over, 50% of Americans wanted DADT repealed, and he won't win that battle.

It's just Republican pandering for votes.

Nothing new here.

American Family Association radio host Bryan Fischer, on poor picked on, victim, Sarah Palin:

"The hatred directed at her is mindless, it is baseless, it is utterly irrational, and it is disturbing to an alarming degree. When we look into the face of the unvarnished and seething meanness focused on Ms. Palin, we are looking into the face of evil. We are looking into the face of Satan himself, who is the ultimate source of this vitriol and toxic hate."

So, um, I don't like Sarah Palin, so I am....what? Satan? A disciple of Satan?

Or am I just someone with a different opinion, who views Palin as divisive and dangerous and narcissistic and the last thing this country needs?

Glee star Jane Lynch, on why she thinks openly gay actors are rarely cast in leading roles:

"I don’t know when or if that will ever happen. I think because since most of the world is straight — and maybe we'll get to a place where this will happen — most of the world is straight and we want the audience to project their hopes and dreams for love and romance onto those actors. And if it’s not in some way possible, maybe never probably, in their mind that it could never happen, then they're not going to do it. You know, most people are straight, and I think that’s probably why."

Um, most people on the planet are also Chinese, if we're being honest here, and I don't see a lot of Chinese people being given lead roles.

I like Jane, but she's way off here.

I think people want to see someone they can relate to, a character they can relate to, and they can set aside that actor's personal life to do so.

Otherwise, Pat Morita would have been the star of Happy Days, and not just a costar.

Trent Humphries, Tucson Tea Party founder, actually blames Gabrielle Giffords for her own shooting:

"It’s political gamesmanship. The real case is that she [Giffords] had no security whatsoever at this event. So if she lived under a constant fear of being targeted, if she lived under this constant fear of this rhetoric and hatred that was seething, why would she attend an event in full view of the public with no security whatsoever?"

Wow, so because she had no security she deserved having a bullet sent through her head.

By that logic, because I don't carry a gun, I should expect to be shot also?

We should simply arm everyone and let everyone hire their own security and then we'll all be safe.

Guns for everyone!

That's the key to safety.

Glenn Beck, in 2005:

"I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out -- is this wrong?"

Glenn Beck in 2011:

"Sixty percent of Americans say the rhetoric in America has nothing to do with the shooting. It's -- it's quite honestly an abomination that it's only 60 percent of the American people. I don't understand how rhetoric had anything to do with it."

This, of course, from a man who uses words to incite--remember he called Obama a racist.

This from a man who says he doesn't condone violence, yet posts pictures of himself carrying a gun.

This from....oh, forget it, Beck is an asshat.

Bishop Robert C. Evans, on the idea of marriage equality coming to Rhode Island: 

"I submit that today, in the State of Rhode Island, we are faced with a challenge to our baptismal promises to renounce the modern day evil works of Satan and confess our belief in Christ and His holy Catholic Church. On the day of our baptism, we chose whose side we are on. The question we must now ask ourselves is: Are we still on God’s side? And if we are, how will we prove it? This challenge takes the form of an attempt to grant to same sex couples that recognition reserved for the oldest and the only institution God created in His own image: Man as male and female united in marriage. The essence of marriage in God’s plan is a union of one male and one female, who are so physically, emotionally, psychologically and religiously complementary that each completes the other in such a way that without the other each is incomplete. For this reason, it is a vocation, a call from God to the persons concerned as to how they are to live their lives and win their salvation."

Wow, another invocation of Satan.

So, then, I don't like Palin, so I'm the devil.

I'm pro-marriage equality, so I'm the devil.

Okay.

I Didn't Say It......

Former First Lady Laura Bush, on marriage equality:
“It’s a very, very difficult issue for very many people, because the marriage between a man and a woman is so fundamental to our civic life for all of our history, for the history of humans. And it's a debate that I think people want to have, and I hope they have it in a way that protects people…And in many ways, I think it’s generational and that gay marriage will come. I’m okay with that.”
Nicely put, except then she said she has no opinion on DADT.
Really?
Gays marrying one another is fine, but you don't know if they should be able to serve openly in the military?

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, responding on The View to Laura Bush's recent support of gay marriage:
"Some people are saying, well, this is a day late and a dollar short, where were you when you could have said something earlier? And in terms of gay marriage, I think there are a lot of, maybe, conservatives out there who are talking about gay marriage and not necessarily with someone who wants to have gay marriage or has been in a gay marriage.
"You know, I had Melissa Etheridge over, we had dinner, we talked for hours about gay marriage, and I would really challenge people: Get out there. Instead of just talking about it and hating on it, actually talk to someone who’s loved someone else and have the conversation about what can be done."

Who could have known that Hasselbeck could have been so thoughtful and reasonable and, well, not quite so Republican?

Glee's Jane Lynch, on Ramin Setoodeh's contentious Newsweek article:
“The thing is, actors are actors: You can’t play gay anymore than you can play somebody who’s Catholic. Aaron Sorkin wrote a wonderful thing in the Huffington Post. I don’t think you have to slap somebody down for making an opinion that you don’t agree with. But I do think what Kristin and Ryan did was so important, and I’m glad that they said it. It doesn’t mean, ‘Off with [Setoodeh's] head.’ But I’m very glad, and I thought it was very heroic what the two of them did.”

Nicolas Cage, on being crazy...I kid....on how he eats meat:
“I love all animals. I have a fascination with fish, birds, whales – sentient life – insects, reptiles. I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex. I think fish are very dignified with sex. So are birds. But pigs, not so much. So I don’t eat pig meat or things like that. I eat fish and fowl.”

Okay, maybe I did mean crazy.

Actor Johnny Galecki's sexuality was brought up this week on The View, and he told the ladies why he's never responded to rumors that he's gay:
"I've never really addressed those rumors because I always figured, why defend yourself against something that's not offensive?"

Nicely done, Johnny. Now if you could get Tom Cruise to think that way instead of filing a $100 million lawsuit anytime someone hints he's a homo.

Democratic candidate for Florida governor Alex Sink on the George Rekers scandal:
"When Attorney General McCollum was asked why he would hire a man like this--who previous courts had said that his testimony was no legitimacy--his response was, 'Well it wasn't me who hired him. It was the Department of Children and Families, they hired the expert witnesses.' Well, surprise, surprise, about two weeks later the Department of Children and Families said, 'Oh no that's not the way it was. We didn't want to hire this guy. The attorney general demanded that we hire the man,' and they produced a letter signed by the Attorney General McCollum himself.
"That sounds to me like a typical politician. He's faced with something, they try to sweep it under the carpet or lay the blame on somebody else when all along he was the one who agreed to hire this Rekers, whose testimony in previous cases had already been judged to be not relevant and not accurate. We don't need people in public service like that."

Quote Of The Day: Jane Lynch

"I didn’t want to be gay. I wanted to be… I wanted an easy life. And you know what? I am gay and I still have an easy life. I’ve had days here and there where I would get discouraged because I wasn’t a big star, but I’ve made a living ever since I was 27. Not a great living, but enough for me. I think actually being able to pay my rent and eat and perform is enough, and I did that for many years. Then I had some good years in there too, where I made pretty good money. But I’m at a different point in my career now – I can kind of sit back and let things come to me, whereas when I was younger I had to be a lot more aggressive." - Glee star Jane Lynch--and one of my comic heroes.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

File this under: I'd do it, too, given the chance.

Italian TV star Elena Di Cioccio grabbed David Beckham's package to find out if the soccer dad stuffs or not.

Giving the "lady" a filthy look, Beckham was clearly unamused at having his balls woman-handled and was immediately hustled away by his security into a nearby hotel.

A source close to Beckham [his balls, perhaps?] says: "It was done in jest and that's how David took it. She didn't actually grab it, it was an attempt. She just got his trouser leg."

Not the trouser snake?
Elena Di Cioccio said: "Off the pitch [I don't know what that means] e have seen fascinating photographs of David Beckham in his underpants and seemingly very well endowed and even his wife says that he is well equipped and calls him Golden Balls....but we wanted to find out if he was as well endowed as the pictures suggest or if they were touched up."

Honey, he was touched up, by your groping fingers!

Paula Abdul decided not to renew her multi-year contract with American Idol last summer and there was a lot of talk about why this no-talent-has-been-loon would leave such a lucrative gig.

Well, maybe it's because, had she signed the new deal she would have been unable to leave AI to be a judge on Simon Cowell's Americanized X Factor show.

Seems like Cowell and Abdul worked a little something-something and she'll be a judge on the new show.

Sneaky Paula. Sneaky Simon.

I don't like Cindy McCain.

I'll just put it out there. I think she's a schemer and a desperate plastic surgery hag who wanted so badly to be First Lady and has gone a little McCrazy since Grampa lost the election.

But now, Cindy's following in daughter Meghan's footsteps and become part of the NOH8 campaign, standing up for marriage equality.

So, I'll take a snarky pass on her.....this time.

Of course, Grampa isn't so lucky.

John McCain instantly released a statement saying he doesn't agree with wifey and daughter, that marriage is a one-man-one-woman institution.

This from a man who left his first wife to marry a millionaire's daughter while while said first wife was recovering from a horrendous car accident. Sanctity of marriage, unless you're straight and something richer comes along.

I don't watch The Hills, but that doesn't mean i ain't never heard of media-whore-and-bad-plastic-surgery-victim Heidi Montag.

And Heidi has recorded an album; she said, before it came out, that it was as good as Thriller, and that she wants to be the next Britney. So, to that end, she spent 2 million dollars of her own[?] money to make the album.

Which came out this week.

And sold 658 copies.

Two-million divided by 658 equals.....yeah, those of you who bought her album, now have a CD worth approximately $33,000.00

Or, at least that's what it cost Heidi.

Gleek News:

My favorite show is doing an All-Madonna-All-The-Time episode, and, out lesbian Jane Lynch, who plays the devilishly deliciously vicious Sue Sylvester, will be performing "Vogue" for the show's Madonna-esque episode.
"I'm going to be singing the song and doing a video for it," Lynch revealed. "It's going to be so much fun!"

Greta Garbo and Monroe, Dietrich and DiMaggio.

I cannot wait to see how Sue C's Vogue.

Well, it looks like numbnuts network NBC and Conan O'Brien have reached a $45 million deal so Conan can leave quietly and hack comic Jay Leno can go crawling back to 11:35.

O'Brien will get $33 million and the rest will go to his staff in severance pay.

Meanwhile, Coco has had fun skewering NBC and their incredible mishandling of this whole mess. Jay, of course, has taken to playing the victim.

Victim?

Jay Leno has had nothing since The Tonight Show and will have nothing when it ends for him again.

Conan, however, may soon be seen at Fox, and I hope his audience follows and he whips Jay's chin. I'd have said ass, but, c'mon, with that chin?

He's over it! Again.

Just like when he was on The West Wing and wasn't getting enough camera time so he quit, Rob Lowe is leaving Brothers & Sisters at the end of this season.
He says he was "underutilized and asked to be released from his contact."

Sme line he used when he left his last TV gig, and was given his own show, that failed miserably. And he wants to try that again at ABC; his own show.

Fail.

Miserably.

Um, Rob, when you take a show that stars Norma Rae and Ally McBeal, and your best performance was the one where you screwed a teenager in an Atlanta hotel room, well, you should have known you'd be under-utilized.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Star Jones.

Haven't heard much from her since her CourtTV show was cancelled. or she was fired from The View. Or her mini-gig on HGTV failed to turn into something permanent. Or when her Not-Gay-Husband left her.

But looky here, Star has been fired again.

The Enquirer--I know--is reporting that Star Jones was fired from her job n The Insider after getting into a screaming match with one the producers!
A source--I always wanted to be "a source' because they get around--reveals: "At first, Star got along with the producers just fine. But as she got more comfortable, she started complaining about the topics they wanted to discuss. She said they were too trashy and 'Star doesn't do trash!'"

Sheesh, Star, you took a job on a gossip show. Trash is their stock in trade.
Apparently, shooting Star was also upset that they used another mouthy Black woman, funny gal Niecy Nash, on the show when Star wasn't available.

She may have lost about a thousand pounds, but the ego only got bigger.