Edith Windsor Will Always Be My Hero

For me, Edith Windsor is the LGBT community’s Rosa Parks, standing up for us, and for what was right, just because it was right.

Yesterday, Edith’s wife of just a year, Judith Kasen-Windsor confirmed that Edith Windsor had passed away. The two were married in 2016, just a year after marriage equality became the law of the land partly because of Edith Windsor, who sued the government in an effort to get a simple tax refund like any other spouse, and that lawsuit ended up striking down DOMA and achieving the first federal recognition of same-sex marriage.

It’s because of Edith Windsor, and Jim Obergefell, that Carlos and I were able to get married; it’s that simple. Edith stood up for an entire community when most of us weren’t standing at all, were afraid to stand, didn't stand, or thought maybe we didn't have the right to stand.

President Obama said this about Edith Windsor, and, as with most things he says, it sums up her life and her legacy and what she means to America, Americans, and LGBT Americans, perfectly:

“America’s long journey towards equality has been guided by countless small acts of persistence, and fueled by the stubborn willingness of quiet heroes to speak out for what’s right.

Few were as small in stature as Edie Windsor – and few made as big a difference to America.

I had the privilege to speak with Edie a few days ago, and to tell her one more time what a difference she made to this country we love.  She was engaged to her partner, Thea, for forty years.  After a wedding in Canada, they were married for less than two.  But federal law didn’t recognize a marriage like theirs as valid – which meant that they were denied certain federal rights and benefits that other married couples enjoyed.  And when Thea passed away, Edie spoke up – not for special treatment, but for equal treatment – so that other legally married same-sex couples could enjoy the same federal rights and benefits as anyone else.

In my second inaugural address, I said that if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well.  And because people like Edie stood up, my administration stopped defending the so-called Defense of Marriage Act in the courts.  The day that the Supreme Court issued its 2013 ruling in United States v. Windsor was a great day for Edie, and a great day for America – a victory for human decency, equality, freedom, and justice.  And I called Edie that day to congratulate her.

Two years later, to the day, we took another step forward on our journey as the Supreme Court recognized a Constitutional guarantee of marriage equality.  It was a victory for families, and for the principle that all of us should be treated equally, regardless of who we are or who we love.

I thought about Edie that day.  I thought about all the millions of quiet heroes across the decades whose countless small acts of courage slowly made an entire country realize that love is love – and who, in the process, made us all more free.  They deserve our gratitude.  And so does Edie.

Michelle and I offer our condolences to her wife, Judith, and to all who loved and looked up to Edie Windsor.”

I was ... I am ... one of those and, as I said up top, in my book, she ranks up there with Rosa Parks.

She will always be a hero or mine.

RIP and thanks for making me equal.=

Awards Season: The Advocate's People of the Year

via The Advocate:

JUSTICE ANTHONY KENNEDY
Before the Supreme Court took up its two marriage equality–related cases this year, everyone knew which vote would be the most pivotal: Justice Anthony Kennedy’s.  With four justices leaning liberal and four leaning conservative, Kennedy was the swing vote.

And he ruled in favor of equality, and then took it a step further, writing a majority opinion in the Windsor v The United States case, saying the federal Defense of Marriage Act [DOMA] served no other purpose except discrimination.

"DOMA’s principal effect is to identify a subset of state sanctioned marriages and make them unequal. The principal purpose is to impose inequality, not for other reasons like governmental efficiency. Responsibilities, as well as rights, enhance the dignity and integrity of the person. And DOMA contrives to deprive some couples married under the laws of their State, but not other couples, of both rights and responsibilities."

MACKLEMORE

Rap lyrics have long contained gay slurs and homophobic content — even the new release this year by Eminem was more of the same. Not so “Same Love.”

 “Same Love,” the fourth single from Seattle artist Macklemore, landed on the Billboard Hot 100 in February, rose to number 11 in August and number 2 on the Rap Chart in July. The song didn't make waves just in the U.S., but charted everywhere from New Zealand to Denmark.

“Same Love,” which featured out lesbian singer Mary Lambert, wasn’t a vague testament to loving everyone, but a personal declaration of support for gays and an indictment of right-wing activists, mean-spirited online commenters, the term “that’s so gay,” and “America the Brave,” which “still fears what we don't know.”

Growing up with two gay uncles, Macklemore — AKA Ben Haggerty — wrote the song in 2012 in support of Washington State’s proposed, and eventually passed, marriage equality law.  But Macklemore didn’t just release “Same Love” and wait to see what happened; he performed it everywhere, gave interviews about its impetus, donated proceeds to Music for Marriage Equality, and made an equally heartfelt video.

Eminem is the past, Macklemore is the musical future.

THE PLAINTIFFS

When the case to fight Proposition 8 first launched with the backing of the newly formed American Foundation for Equal Rights [AFER] and powerhouse lawyers Ted Olson and David Boies, it was the subject of harsh debate among LGBT activists about whether this was the right time for a full press on marriage equality rather than civil unions. Much of that is now forgotten, and the plaintiffs in the case — Kristin Perry and Sandy Stier, and Paul Katami and Jeff Zarrillo — have not only won the argument, but they did it at the Supreme Court.

And then there's Edie Windsor, who made a point of noting that her case was also turned away by major LGBT rights organizations when she first tried fighting the Defense of Marriage Act. It was attorney Roberta Kaplan who recognized its potential.

Thanks to the perseverance of all of the plaintiffs and their lawyers, same-sex marriage had an important legal moment and an important cultural one. Social media was filled with supportive red equality signs, friends were given reason to talk about their beliefs, and news outlets paused to talk about LGBT equality. The immediate effect of these cases is marriage equality in California, plus the demise of section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act.

Same-sex marriages are being recognized, and many who refile taxes are getting money back from the government. Binational couples who were being split up because the federal government would not recognize their marriages are no longer facing that threat. Members of the U.S. Armed Forces finally can have their spouses considered part of the family. The effects are still being felt as the Supreme Court's ruling is referenced in cases going forward.

All good, all great, but let’s let Edie Windsor have the last word:

"Not only does a much larger portion of our country, and the straight members of our country, see us differently, as just people who live and love who bring up kids who will play with their kids, but our own community has come out and seen each other and loved each other in a way that makes me courageous and proud and joyous every day."

BRITTNEY GRINER

To feminists and female sports fans, ensuring the health of women's sports is crucial. While male athletes can concentrate on being athletes, women are too often are held to different standards: look like a Victoria's Secret model, but be able to dunk. You can't be butchy, because it gives away the secret that lesbians play sports. You can't be tough, either, so turn down that grunting, Williams sisters.

And then there’s Brittney Griner, the no-nonsense center on the Phoenix Mercury and the WNBA's number one draft pick. Not only was Griner unparalleled in college basketball, but she ended her career at Baylor by coming out in several interviews.

Griner is the lesbian athlete that women's sports needs — unabashedly comfortable with herself, charming, media-beloved, and can dunk like it's nobody's business. Her charm has gotten her an endorsement with Nike, the pinnacle of deals that every athlete on this planet craves. Griner may not have won Rookie of the Year — probably in part to a knee injury that curbed her season a bit — but she was unanimously voted onto the 2013 All-Rookie Team.

Most importantly, though, Griner should be considered the answer to the nagging question, Can a gay athlete come out, be accepted on a team, play magnificently, and still earn endorsements?

LEA SEYDOUX & ADELE EXARCHOPOULOS

The Cannes Film Festival made an unprecedented move this year by awarding the Palme d'Or to not only the director of Blue Is the Warmest Color, a romantic drama based on the acclaimed graphic novel by Julie Maroh, but also to its leading actresses: Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos.

 In the year France achieved marriage equality, the jurors’ recognition of actresses who depict two women passionately in love attracted international attention; Seydoux is 28 and Exarchopoulos, 20, are the only women other than Piano director Jane Campion to ever receive the coveted Palme d'Or. Official accolades are likely to continue, with the Golden Globes nominating Blue is the Warmest Color last week for Best Foreign Film.

Blue has made an indelible mark in cinema history for the raw honesty of love and loss so intimately captured by Seydoux and Exarchopoulos. Queer women in audiences around the world relate to the story of a French teenager and her sexual awakening, which is sparked by the arrival of a blue-haired artist who helps lead her on a journey of self-discovery. 

But thanks to the talents of Exarchopoulos and Seydoux, this tale becomes universal, a love story that is remarkable not because it involves two women, but because it shows two people braving the beautiful and brutal vicissitudes of l’amour.

ANTON KRASOVSKY

As the Russian Parliament considered a ban on gay propaganda, with President Vladimir Putin expected to sign into law, it was already dangerous to talk publicly about being gay. Yet Russian TV anchor Anton Krasovsky dared to challenge what was happening by coming out — live on air.

On January 25, he looked into the camera and told viewers that he is gay and "as human as President Putin" and then said, "It's time; now it's time to be open."

Open, and unemployed; Krasovsky lost his job within hours of coming out, even though he knew it would happen. But he plans to stay in Russia, even though he still doesn’t have a job.

Krasovsky is perhaps the most prominent of LGBT Russians to take a stand, but if what's happened there is to be reversed, Krasovsky is a brave example of what it might take.

JANE DOE, TRANS TEEN IN COLORADO

The fight over equal rights for transgender people is starting with young people. In California, where the Student Success and Opportunity Act to protect trans students in its schools was passed, right-wing groups made the bill a call to action and attempted to gather enough signatures to force a vote that would repeal it. So far, they've failed. In October, when the Pacific Justice Institute — a “Christian” group — set its sights on an innocent transgender teenager in Colorado.

"Jane Doe," a 16-year-old transgender girl at Florence High School, outside Colorado Springs, was first accused of "harassing" fellow female students in the bathroom. The district superintendent and local police confirmed no harassment took place, but PJI amended its claim to say that her mere presence in the bathroom was "inherently harassing." They even produced a video featuring cisgender (nontrans) schoolmates who claimed they'd "suffered" because they were forced to share a bathroom with someone who "doesn't have the same parts as [us]." Then some anti-trans activists published Doe's given name, and she was subjected to vile personal attacks online, some rising to the level of death threats; she was placed on suicide watch.

 Now it appears the Pacific Justice Institute has stepped back its harassment of “Jane Doe” though they have yet to apologize, but with the support of her moms, her school district, and recently reaffirmed Colorado state law on her side, “Jane Doe” is persevering.

"I want to be able to let people know I haven’t done anything to harm any being and I am a human with feelings too.  I just really hope from all of this comes good, and allows more minds to become accepting and open."

JACK ANDRAKA

Most of us take our jobs seriously, but sometimes we put them in perspective by saying, “Well, it’s not like we’re curing cancer.”

Well, this gay science prodigy’s work may actually play a role in curing cancer, by aiding in early detection. At age 15, when most kids are focused on prom dates and video games, Jack Andraka developed a low-cost, sensitive dipstick-type test for quick and early detection of pancreatic, ovarian, and lung cancers. And all because of a close family friend’s death from cancer.

“What I found is that 85 percent of all cancers are diagnosed late, when someone has less than a 2 percent chance of survival, and our current method of detection costs $800, misses 30 percent of all cancers and is 60 years old. So then I decided to set out to change all this.”

Again, at fifteen years old. Now 16, Jack attends high school in Glen Burnie, Maryland., does scientific research at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, and is dedicated to being a “normal kid” who enjoys sports and socializing — but also to being visible as a gay scientist.

THE BISEXUALS 

You’d be hard-pressed to name a year in American history in which bisexuals were more embraced by the public than 2013 — that despite the fact that many people who we might label bisexual — or who at least participate in bisexual activities or attractions — may prefer not to use that word at all.

Actress Zoe Saldana told Allure magazine that she had been with women, and could end up with a woman, married raising little Saldana babies. 

Prime Suspect star Maria Bello wrote an essay in The New York Times about being in a relationship with another woman.

British Olympic diver Tom Daley posted a YouTube video about being in love with another man.

Former American Idol star Crystal Bowersox released a song of LGBT support, and came out as bisexual.

So did 81-year-old music producer Clive Davis:

"Bisexuality is misunderstood; the adage is that you're either straight or gay or lying, but that's not my experience. To call me anything other than bisexual would be inaccurate."

All these folks are forging a new path where they don’t feel compelled either to identify with the acceptable label, or be forced to “choose” between gay and straight.

PERSON OF THE YEAR: POPE FRANCIS

Via The Advocate:

“The most influential person of 2013 doesn't come from our ongoing legal conflict but instead from our spiritual one — successes from which are harder to define. There has not been any vote cast or ruling issued, and still a significant and unprecedented shift took place this year in how LGBT people are considered by one of the world's largest faith communities.

Pope Francis is leader of 1.2 billion Roman Catholics all over the world. There are three times as many Catholics in the world than there are citizens in the United States. Like it or not, what he says makes a difference. Sure, we all know Catholics who fudge on the religion's rules about morality. There's a lot of disagreement, about the role of women, about contraception, and more. But none of that should lead us to underestimate any pope's capacity for persuading hearts and minds in opening to LGBT people, and not only in the U.S. but globally.

…

Pope Francis is still not pro-gay by today's standard. He started his term by issuing a joint encyclical in July with Benedict, in which they reiterate that marriage should be a “stable union of man and woman.” It continues, “This union is born of their love, as a sign and presence of God’s own love, and of the acknowledgement and acceptance of the goodness of sexual differentiation.”

As Argentina's archbishop, Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio opposed marriage equality's eventual passage there, saying in 2010 that it's a ”destructive attack on God’s plan.” When Bergoglio became pope, GLAAD was quick to point out that he'd once called adoption by same-sex couples a form of discrimination against children.

…

As Pope, he has not yet said the Catholic Church supports civil unions. But what Francis does say about LGBT people has already caused reflection and consternation within his church. The moment that grabbed headlines was during a flight from Brazil to Rome. When asked about gay priests, Pope Francis told reporters, according to a translation from Italian, ‘If someone is gay and seeks the Lord with good will, who am I to judge?’”

Well, I’ll judge.

Has the Pope done some wonderful things? Sure he has. Has he made one single change to the Catholic Church for women or gays? No.

It’s all PR work done to battle the crumbling numbers of the Church; done to shore up their already filled-to-the-Vatican-rafters coffers.

But, if you believe in God, in the hereafter, Pope Francis is right; who is he to judge?

He isn’t; that job falls on the shoulders of God, and I don’t think she thinks Pope Frankie is being quite as pro-LGBT as The Advocate seems to think.

I think The Advocate blew it by not naming Edie Windsor its person of the year. Her agenda was equality; the Pope’s is not. When he makes actual, tangible inroads within the Catholic Church for The Gays, and women, and actively works to protect children from being raped, call me for my vote.

Until then ... just sayin’. 

I Didn't Say It

Edith Windsor, on being considered one of Time magazines People of the Year:

"I am honored that Time chose me as one of the number 3 individuals in the top 5 nominees for ‘Person of the Year,’ but I am just one person who was part of the extraordinary and on-going fight for marriage equality for all our families. There are thousands of people who helped us come this far and we still have a lot more work to do. The gay community is my ‘person of the year’ and I look forward to continuing to fight for equal rights and educate the public about our lives alongside my gay brothers and sisters and our allies. Thea would be thrilled, proud and so happy to see what we have all accomplished together."

For me, Edith is like a gay Rosa Parks.

She stood up and refused to back down because she wanted to be treated equally in this country, as is her right.

Her fight might have begun just for her but it ended up rewarding us all.

Michelangelo Signorile, on the twenty year age difference between new couple Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black:

"Let's cut the ageist crap. The 'yuk' is a display of nothing but disgust for someone older. Yes, [Dustin Lance] Black is old enough to be [Tom] Daley's father. But he's not. If Black were just a couple of years older than Daley, he could be his brother too. But he's not. Shocking news for you: You're all going to be old. And your tastes are going to evolve over time. Some younger people are attracted to older people, and vice versa. There's even a gay website called Daddyhunt. The famed novelist Armistead Maupin's 27-years-younger husband, Christopher Turner, founded it. They met on another one of Turner's sites, HotOlderMale.com. If that's not your thing, it's totally cool, but in that case just shut your mouth."

Will it last? Ain’t my biz’ness. Is Dustin Lance too old, or Tom too young? Ain’t my biz’ness.

Like Signorile says, if it ain’t your thing, don’t do it, but don’t denigrate another couple’s relationship because you don’t like it. We ought to celebrate these two men finding one another because love is a good thing.

Beau McCoy, Nebraska state Senator and Republican contender for governor, on blocking benefits for same-sex Nebraska couples legally married in other states:

"Make no mistake, every time same-sex couples get the same recognition as a married couple, the Nebraska Constitution and the will of Nebraskans gets undermined. The people of Nebraska spoke out loud and clear. As governor, I will not allow the institution of marriage or our constitution to be attacked by expanding state benefits to state employees in same-sex relationships who get married in other states."

And you probably won’t get elected because of your bassackward views.

John Scarpa, attorney for Rasheen Everett, who was found guilty of the murder of transgender prostitute Amanda Gonzalez-Andujar:

"A sentence of 25 years to life is an incredibly long period of time, judge. Shouldn’t that be reserved for people who are guilty of killing certain classes of individuals? Who is the victim in this case? Is the victim a person in the higher end of the community? Amanda was engaged in a life of prostitution, life of drug use, HIV exposure. She was having sex with other individuals knowing she had the chance of spreading diseases."

So, in Scarpa’s mind, it was a good thing she was murdered?

I guess that means we should all be able to go out and kill people in certain classes who somehow deserve to die.
PS The judge sentenced his client to 29 years in jail.

Ass.Hat.

Kanye West, the gift that keeps on giving, on the dangers of being a rap artist:

“Like, I’m just giving of my body on the stage; I’m putting my life at risk, literally! I think about when I’m on the ‘Can’t Tell Me Nothing,’ and ‘Coldest Winter’ moment, like that mountain [a prop on stage] goes really, really high. And if I slipped … You never know. And I think about it, I think about my family and I’m like, ‘Wow.’ … This is like, being a police officer or something, in war or something.”

Yes, being an ego-maniacal, self-involved, self-entitled, delusional, maybe gay, rap star with a Jesus complex, performing on stage is the same thing as being a police officer protecting citizens, or military personnel protecting our country.

Wow.

Rick Warren, megachurch “pastor”, on marriage equality:

"I think historically, around the world, the vast majority of people would say marriage means one man and one woman in a commitment. Don't take a term and make it something different. Orwell talked about doublespeak, where words mean the exact opposite of what they used to mean. I cannot see [Christians supporting full equality for LGBT citizens] happening in my life. I fear the disapproval of God more than I fear your disapproval or the disapproval of society."

Historically, we also believed one time in the rights of men to physically own other human beings. Historically, and biblically, we believed that marriage made the wife a possession of the man; that the wife was property; that marriage was a power play or a land grab.

Things change, Ricky, and Christians will change and leave you standing on the side of the road spouting your bigotry.

Damian Lewis, of Showtime’s Homeland, apparently throwing shade at Sir Ian McKellen—though he doesn’t mention McKellen by name:

“[I didn't want to end up] as one of those slightly over-the-top, fruity actors who would have an illustrious career on stage, but wouldn’t start getting any kind of film work until I was 50 and then start playing wizards.”

Okay, really Damian? Fruity? Isn’t there a better gay slur to use? Was fag or queer not an option?

You’re a dick and we’ll see what happens to your career after Homeland which, by the way, is the only reason we know you while McKellen is known for much more than being a ‘wizard’.

Gods and Monsters, to name just one brilliant role.

Sir Ian McKellen, openly gay gentleman and actor, responding to Lewis’ remarks:

“So he feels sorry for me, does he? Well, I’m very happy, he needn’t worry about me. To rebut it, I wouldn’t like to have been one of those actors who hit stardom quite early on and expected it to continue and was stuck doing scripts that I didn’t particularly like just to keep the income up. I’ve always wanted to get better as an actor. And I have got better. You’ve only got to see my early work to see that. As for a fruity voice? Well, it may be a voice that is trained like an opera singer’s voice: to fill a large space. It is unnatural.”

Snap.

Get back to me, Damian, when you have half the career of McKellen.

Damian Lewis, apparently sober ... I kid ... apologizing to Ian McKellen:

"I am hugely embarrassed that comments of mine have been linked in a negative way to Sir Ian McKellen. I have always been, and continue to be, an enormous fan and admirer of Sir Ian's. He's one of the greats and one of the reasons I became an actor. My comment in the Guardian was a soundbite I've been giving since 1999 – it was a generic analogy that was never intended to demean or describe anyone else's career. I have contacted Sir Ian McKellen and have given him my sincerest apologies."

Generic? The “playing a wizard”: reference was fairly specific.

But at least it was kind of an apology. 

Boehner Boner

Edie Windsor is challenging the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act [DOMA] and is seeking a refund of the federal estate taxes paid by the estate of her late wife, because The Gays, even those who are legally married, are not entitled to the same federal benefits as their heterosexual counterparts.

And now she has responded to House Speaker John Boehner's claim that her homosexuality was a 'choice'. Yes, Boehner thinks being gay is a choice. Lawyers for Boehner's Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group [BLAG....which is the exact sound my stomach makes when I hear, see, or speak, about John Boehner] called homosexuality a choice in a brief filed last month. saying, “a significant percentage of gays and lesbians believe they exercised some or a great deal of choice in determining their sexuality.”  

Edie Windsor argued just the opposite, in fact, in her affidavit, stating that it was her marriage to a man, one Saul Weiner, that demonstrated the opposite. “I understand that BLAG argues in its papers that my first, brief marriage to Saul Weiner in 1951 demonstrates that I had a ‘choice’ about my sexual orientation. As I explain below, that is certainly not the case. What my marriage to Saul Weiner shows is that although I tried to make a ‘choice’ about my sexual orientation by getting married to a man, I was simply unable to do so.”

You can't do it, because it isn't a choice, though one wonders if Boehner, who seems to think that sexual orientation is a choice, remembers exactly where he was, and what he was doing, and with whom he was doing it, when he made the 'choice' to be heterosexual.

All major medical professional organizations, and anyone with an open mind and more than half a brain, agree that sexual orientation is not a choice and cannot be changed, from gay to straight or otherwise. The American Psychological Association describes sexual orientation as “a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors.” There is considerable evidence to suggest that biology, “including genetic or inborn hormonal factors,” plays a significant role in a person’s sexuality.

Still, John Boehner, Weeper Of The House, seems certain that the entire gay community was given a choice on their sexual orientation.

What a boner.

What a boner.

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