I Didn't Say It ...

Sean Hayes, Jack McFarland on Will & Grace, receiving  an Outfest Legacy Award, on how he wishes he'd come out as gay while the show was still airing:

“I was a young closeted actor having his first taste of a little success and unfortunately, in my mind, my lucky break was inextricably tied to me thinking that I had to stay in the closet in order to keep moving forward. When it comes to nights like tonight and honors like this, I’m consumed with what I didn’t do. I know I should’ve come out sooner and I’m sorry for that. Especially when I think about the possibility that I might have made a difference in someone’s life. I would probably be able to sleep a lot better than I do if I had acted sooner, but such is life. We learn our lessons only when we are ready.”

I was one of those who was annoyed at Hayes’ refusal to discuss his orientation—he kept playing the ‘I don’t talk about my private life’ card—but I have come to my senses a bit.

While it would have been nice that he’d come out while the show aired, we all come out when and how we choose and for me, or anyone, to judge Sean Hayes for his choices isn’t fair.

I apologize.

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Hillary Clinton, at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, to Rudy Giuliani, who said she had lied about being at the World Trade Center on 9/11, until a photo showed up of the two of them together on that day:

“We’ve got the honorable Chuck Schumer, the honorable Andrew Cuomo, the honorable Mike Bloomberg, the honorable Bill de Blasio, the honorable David Dinkins, and so many other elected officials — and we have Rudy Giuliani. Many don’t know this but Rudy actually got his start as a prosecutor going after wealthy New Yorkers who avoided paying taxes. But as the saying goes, ‘if you can’t beat ’em, go on FOX News and call ’em a genius.'”

Rudy was not amused.

Rudy is never amused, or amusing.

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Trevante Rhodes, star of the film Moonlight, on the impact the film is having and on his experience playing a gay man:

“[Moonlight] talks about a subject matter that is so prevalent today. Being a black man in American is relatively difficult right now, being a gay man in America is incredibly difficult and so being a black, gay man … can be perceived as the worst possible thing right now. So it is something that we need, that the world needs, and I’m thinking it’s a beautiful thing that people are receiving it. I didn’t think we were ready for something like that. And it’s really surprising and really refreshing to me to see that people are. ... I was born loving women but I easily could have been born loving men. It’s the exact same sensation… You don’t fall in love with someone [just] for their physical [traits], but for their mental. It was really just about me it was really just falling in love with the person that [my co-star] André Holland is. I respect him, I love him for the father figure he is. ... As actors and directors, I feel like our job, more so than anything else, is to shine a light on a subject and to let people know that they’re not alone.”

The march goes on, and with advocates like Trevante Rhodes on our side, it will get better.

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Gus Kenworthy, Olympic freeskier, about his first year as an out gay man:

“I am gay.  … I remember waking up that day, with the most overwhelming sense of emotions. I was excited for a future where I no longer had to mask myself with heteronormative posturing. But then, of course, I felt apprehensive because I didn’t know how people were going to react. I’d already told my immediate family and a few close friends and they all offered nothing but love and support and I decided that even if the rest of the world abandoned me, their support would be enough. … What I didn’t anticipate though, was all that I was about to gain. … I’ve started to love myself, a big step for someone who spent their adolescence in self-contempt. I’ve made lifelong friends, fallen in love and felt truer and happier than I ever imagined. I’ve witnessed myself swell with pride while holding my guy’s hand walking down the street; no longer dictated by fear to walk with my hands in my pockets acting like the person I loved was merely a friend, an acquaintance. I got to ski completely unencumbered and ended up having my best competitive season ever because of it. And while competing I got to, finally, acknowledge my boyfriend standing at the bottom of the half-pipe cheering me on; something I regrettably failed to do in my previous 5-year-long closeted relationship. Ultimately, for the first time in my life, I got to feel free — something everybody should feel every day! … I get messages every day from guys saying my story has helped them come to terms with themselves or given them the confidence to tell their friends or family that they’re gay. And that, I have to say, has been the highlight of my past year. Of course there will always be nay-sayers but if I’ve helped even one person feel better about themselves then this process, for me, has all been worth it.”

As I like to say, when one of us comes out it helps all of us living in the darkness to step closer to the light.

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I Didn't Say It ....

Sean Hayes, on going back into the closet when he hit it big on Will and Grace:

"I was so young. It made me go back in the closet [with the media] because I was so overwhelmed at 26 or 27. I didn't want the responsibility, I didn't know how to handle the responsibility of speaking for the gay community. I always felt like I owed them a huge apology for coming out too late. Some people in the gay community were very upset with me for not coming out on their terms. They don't stop to think about what's going on in somebody's personal life, and the struggles that they're having. It was all very scary. We got death threats. It was a really rough time for me, but I was also having the time of my life."

Sean Hayes eventually came out publicly in March 2010.

I was one “Those Gays” that was annoyed by his refusal to be open — even though I know it’s his choice. I felt he did a great disservice to LGBTQ youth by not being out, open, and himself.

It’s nice to see him come to that understanding.

Maggie Gallagher, basically waving the anti-equality White Flag:

"I believe the Supreme Court is going to impose gay marriage in all fifty states within the next two years. I think the battle's going to shift to religious liberty and we're gonna need politicians with backbone. What happened first in the gay marriage issue is liberals used their dominance in the mainstream media to persuade GOP pundits that they should be silent on the issue and retreat."

A couple of things, Mags:

Number 1: put your tongue in your mouth you’re no Miley Cyrus.

Number 2: Please whine some more about religious liberty because I have yet to see one case of a gay couple suing a religious group demanding that the church perform their wedding. It.Doesn’t.Happen.

Number 3: STFU.

Chely Wright, openly lesbian country star, to openly gay country singer Steve Grand:

“This is uncharted territory, as you know. I came out after having been in the business for years. He’s trying to get into the business. The fact that he’s openly gay prior to getting a record deal will likely be tough for him. That said, there is progress every day and I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage for him to identify as gay when he did. Very brave! It’s a new day, and I hope that someone on Music Row will give him a chance. He’s clearly motivated and honest. That’s what country music is supposed to be about—honest people telling honest stories about life. He’s certainly doing that. Stay strong, Steve!”

Chely paved the way for Steve Grand and he might have, might have, an easier path because she came first. And if he does, then maybe, maybe, she’ll regain the acceptance that Country music showed her before she came out.

Steve Grand, openly gay singer, on the rumor of undergoing "conversion therapy":

"I want to make it clear that it’s been misrepresented that I went through what most people know as conversion therapy. I saw a Christian therapist who, among many other beliefs, believed I’d be happier in a straight life. He didn’t shame me for being gay. Most of the focus, we weren’t even talking about my sexuality. But certainly his belief that I’d be living a happier life as a heterosexual was indeed harmful. In no way, shape, or form—I can’t even believe I have to clarify this—do I condone ex-gay therapy. I think it’s a horrible practice. There’s no scientific basis for it. A person’s sexuality is a part of who they are. And I certainly suffered for not having my sexuality affirmed."

More proof, as if anyone with a brain firing on all cylinders needed it, that gay Conversion Therapy doesn’t work.

You can’t turn a gay person straight nay more than you can turn a straight person gay.

We are all born the way we are born.

Lance Bass, who got engaged to boyfriend Michael Turchin, on their upcoming wedding to be aired on a "particular network":

"I love a party. It's going to be nice and big and over the top. The network offered us a big wedding special. Knowing myself in the 1980s growing up a gay kid in Mississippi, I would loved to have seen something on TV I could relate to and go, 'Oh, my gosh, I could do that!' ... I don't know if we will even have groomsmen or bridesmaids. Since there's no wedding dress and half the excitement of a wedding is to see the wedding dress and what it looks like ... we're wanting all of our guests to come completely over the top, high fashion like you're heading to the MET Ball or the Royal Wedding."

Leave it to Bass to make a circus out of a same-sex wedding, which is just the thing that the rightwingnuts will jump on: the idea of The Gays making a mockery of marriage.

I mean, if he wants an over-the-top wedding, go on have one, but do we really need to see it?

I don’t, but then TV does come with an ‘Off’ button.

Tony Perkins, tired of all The Gays clutterin' up his DVR:
"When Gallup asked people to guess how many Americans were homosexual, most said 25%. Turns out, they were about 22% off. And while gays and lesbians make up about 3.4% of the population, they seem to get 100% of the consideration when producers write and cast new television shows. The debate over same-sex 'marriage' has been perfectly scripted by Hollywood. Television shows are full of lovable gay characters, whose dangerous lifestyle is just another funny footnote. Unfortunately for America, those make-believe people are having a real-life impact. It's no accident that almost 20% of Americans credit television with changing their minds on same-sex 'marriage.' It's time for families to let networks know that what they gain by being pro-homosexual doesn't compare with what they'll lose. And that's viewers."

Hmm, gays get 1005 of the consideration when producers write and cast shows?

Then, Tony, where are all the gays? I mean, I see some, Ellen and NPH and Sean, and there are others, but if The Gays are getting all the jobs I ain’t seeing it.

Maybe you’re just suffering from wishful thinking because you’d love see more gay shiz on TV?

I Didn't Say It ....

Sean Hayes, on his new sitcom, Sean Saves The World, not being “message driven” like The New Normal:

“Absolutely not. If that’s a byproduct of their viewing experience, fantastic. But it’s definitely not in the forefront of our minds when creating this show week-to-week. It’s making people laugh and telling great stories. I think with me playing a gay dad, the gay part should be the fifth most interesting thing about the character. It definitely doesn’t need to be focused on that just like in real life. So if it’s groundbreaking for being extra funny, great. But there is no agenda here other than to be funny.”

But, as in shows like The New Normal, you can send a message and make it funny. From what I’m hearing Sean Saves The World doesn’t even manage to do that.

I mean, why have a gay character if you’re not going to address the fact that he’s gay?

David Stern, NBA Commissioner, denouncing the new President of the IOC and the organization for not stepping up against human rights abuses.

“I’m gonna behave myself, for the record here, which is unlike me, but you know, the first phone call to the new head of the Olympics [was] from President [Vladimir] Putin, and everyone wants to talk about the Russian law on homosexuality. Think about the opportunities that sports have to make a continuing statement, and the only thing that we’re saying in that context is ‘Shhhh! No one say anything!’”

Sports are one of those things that are universal around the world, and sports can make a great impact on what’s happening in Russia if the athletes, the leagues, the managers, speak up.

Phyllis Schlafly, calling for the government to end all funding for, well, everybody and everything:

"We must shame and cut off taxpayers' money from the groups that killed the American family, including feminists, judges, legislators, public school teachers and administrators, so-called child protection agencies, professors, psychologists, college courses, government handouts and Democratic politicians who want big-government spending in order to win votes. The problem cannot be remedied by prohibiting same-sex marriage (even by a constitutional amendment) or by telling men to 'man up.'“

All I can think of to say is: “What a delusional, ridiculously stupid, Pat Robertson-in-a-dress-and-a-fright-wig, out-of-date, relic from the 50s.”

Oh, and I’d add, “Shut the f**k up.”

Gilles Marini, on if he would ever lie to help a famous gay friend stay closeted:

"We're in 2013. I think it's very uncool to be in the closet nowadays. I never was a witness in any wedding in my life, and the first time I was a witness in a wedding in my life was for my dear friends Philippe and David — same-sex couple — and I think it was fantastic. Don't stay in the closet. You'll only hurt your heart and, down the line, probably your family. They need to know the truth about what you like and what you want in life."

Word. From a hot guy.

Cher, on turning down an invitation to perform at the Sochi Games:

“I can’t name names but my friend called who is a big oligarch over there, and asked me if I’d like to be an ambassador for the Olympics and open the show. I immediately said no. I want to know why all of this gay hate just exploded over there. He said the Russian people don’t feel the way the government does.”

Seriously? In 2013 there’s a person in the world that thinks Cher … CHER … would perform for an anti-gay country like Russia.

Now, if they’d asked JLo and the check was big enough ….

Rachel Maddow, on the sudden crush that conservatives and anti-gay "pro-family" groups have on Russian President Vladimir Putin.

"It’s one thing for the right to fall in love with its own politicians, to make Reagan a saint, Sarah Palin their own collective girlfriend, but the president of Russia, he is not that into you. Seriously, I know you guys hate President Obama, so it feels good to have a man-crush on somebody else, but this guy is the president of Russia. Zip it up, you guys, seriously. Have some respect."

It’s that conservative rightwingnut racism at work again. Putin and Obama have issues so the GOP falls all over themselves to align themselves with the leader of a country which seeks to punish people for being gay.

Remember that the next time you vote.

Bill Maher, on the GOP and their battle against all things Obama, including First Lady Michelle Obama’s programs to have kids eat healthy and drink more water:

"I saw in the news that Michelle Obama has a new program. You know she tried to get kids to eat better and Republicans were against that. And now she wants people to hydrate more, I’m not kidding, she says ‘Drink more water.’ I think this is a test to see if the Republicans will come out against water. That’s not water, that’s socialism juice!"

Apparently, the blowhards are already speaking out. Rush Limbaugh, who never met a chain of McDonalds that he didn’t want to eat and then wash down with illegally prescribed medications, while calling the First Lady “Moochelle” says, "We have real trouble, real problems in this country and around the world. What is this push to drink more water?  Now, we know that Bloomberg doesn't want people drink sweetened soft drinks, limiting the size to 16 ounces.  I'll tell you what I think it is.  I think there's an all-out assault on soda pop, soft drinks."

Funny how the fattest man on Earth, with a head filled with cheese and a gut stuffed with lard, can call the First Lady of the country a derogatory term.

Imagine if a liberal journalist had done the same to Laura Bush.

Isaiah Washington, former Grey's Anatomy co-star, on returning to acting and his claim that "an agenda" ruined his career following those anti-gay remarks — he called co-star TR Knight, a ‘fag’ — he made in 2007:

"I didn't have a choice. After the incident at the Golden Globes everything just fell apart. It literally stopped. Whatever the agenda, whatever the plan was it worked. I lost everything. I couldn't afford to have an agent. I couldn't afford to have a publicist for the crisis management to continue. I couldn't afford to continue. I went from 2 million dollars a year to residual checks. Zero. I couldn't get another apartment after I turned in my lease for my $3 million home. I had to put it in my wife's name. No one wanted to touch the name of Isaiah Washington for three years."

And it’s all someone else’s fault, eh, Isaiah? Then why did you apologize if you never said it? And why wait three years to expose this “agenda”?

The fact is, you made a mistake and called someone by a derogatory name, and people, in the industry stopped wanting to work with you. I’d hoped you would have learned from your mistake but you’ve gone back to the lie that it never happened.

A Tony Ramble

Liked it. Didn't love it.

I thought Sean Hayes was very funny. The Little Orphan Annie drag was good, and his bits with Kristin Chenoweth were very funny. His joke about Bernadette Peters being the BP that wasn't destroying the world was spot on.

Catherine Zeta-Jones cannot sing. And what was with that head jerking thing? And then when she won she took the Oh-My-God-I-Can't-Believe-I-Won-But-I'm-Such-A-Freakin'-Phony-I'm-Gonna-Play-It-Off route. Hate her. And,was it just me, or does her husband look older than her dad? Just sayin'.

Ryan Reynolds. Yum.

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith walked out onstage like they were royalty. News flash: You're not.

Jay Z? No.

Matthew Morrison. Dance my little man, dance! So. Not. Gay.

Denzel wins. Yes. Denzel can do anything.

Lea Michele could have been better; I wanted Idina Menzel to sing "Don't Rain On My Parade."

I love the fact that The Tony's is the only awards show where you hear openly gay people thanking their partners and no one drops dead, no one faints, and the ceiling of Radio City doesn't come crashing down. Take note other awards show winners. Gay is okay.

Best joke--for me--of the night, was Sean Hayes and Kristen Chenoweth doing that long sexy liplock and, well, here it is:

Yeah, he so cannot play straight. I didn't buy that for a second. Not.

And speaking of gay playing straight. Ricky Martin! Who will be on Broadway in 2012 ina revival of Evita! Ay papi!

And that's where I leave it.

JP MacFarf To Host The Tonys!!

Well, not the real JP, but the actor who played him for nine seasons on Will & Grace.

Yup, newly out, newly starring on Broadway, newly Tony nominated--for the revival of Promises Promises--and newly the subject of a Newsweek magazine article about how gay people can't play straight, or some such nonsense, Sean Hayes is the host of this years gayest awards show ever!!!

The Tonys!!

The awards ceremony will air on CBS Sunday, June 13.

And I can't wait to see who's a better host: Just Jack, or NPH.

Can Gay Actors Play Straight?

Ramin Setoodeh wrote an article for Newsweek [HERE] on straight actors playing gay roles, and how they can do it, but gay actors, openly gay, playing straight roles doesn't work. He basically says that gay actors are bad actors because they can't convince an audience that they're straight.

And while--and I'm gonna say it--Setoodeh does have a point. But it isn't the actors, or the roles, or Broadway or the movies; it's the audience that has a hard time believing a gay actor as a straight character.

I think where Setoodeh went wrong was in basically making his point by using the performance of recently out-actor Sean Hayes, in Promises, Promises, on Broadway. Setoodeh says that he doesn't "believe" Hayes is a straight man on-stage, that he isn't believable as the love interest to Kristen Chenoweth, citing a New York Times review that called Hayes performance "wooden" and "insincere" as proof that gay can't play straight.

Maybe that review is right, but maybe it's because the part wasn't right for Hayes, not because he's a gay man. Gay men have been playing straight on Broadway for years, openly; and gay men have been playing straight in movies for years, closeted: think Rock Hudson. Handsome. Virile. Manly. As gay as a picnic basket. But not open about it.

There has been all kinds of hubbub about Setoodeh's piece, er, article, from everyone from Kristin Chenoweth, who wrote a response [HERE] in which she called Setoodeh homophobic; for the record, Setoodeh is an openly gay man, who has been attacked for being everything from a homophobe to a self-loathing gay man to an Arab who should only write about terrorism. That last part is true, and, again for the record, Setoodeh is American, born in Texas, of Iranian descent. Let's talk about what he wrote, but refrain from personal attacks; it's the discussion that matters.

Cheyenne Jackson, an openly gay actor who plays straight, and hot, on Broadway all the time, said of Seteoodeh and his article:

It was infuriating on so many levels. Not only does [Setoodeh] say that a gay man can't play straight, he got personal, picking on Sean Hayes in Promises, Promises, [pointing out] certain scenes where he thinks [Sean] is stiff and uncomfortable. And then he picks on Jonathan Groff, who just came out. He's a young teen heartthrob [in Glee]. He's so talented and so delicious and needs our love and support. Instead, [Setoodeh] says he's not believable at all. It was very veiled self-loathing. Really upsetting. Everytime we go forward, some asshole like this takes us back a bit. I was really glad that Kristin Chenoweth wrote what she did. She sent it to me before it went out and about. I was very proud of her. For me to stand up and say, 'F*ck you,' that's what you'd expect. But for someone like Kristin, she stands up for what she believes in and is very committed.

Michael Urie, also openly gay, and appearing on Broadway now, says:

Look, I'm not from f*cking Vienna [he's playing Viennese designer Rudi Gernreich in The Tempermentals]. We're all actors, and the audiences get it. When I saw Sean Hayes in Promises, Promises, it was a full house and everyone was completely in love with him. And I saw it at a Wednesday matinee full of tourists. They've all seen Sean in Will & Grace, and they loved him and believed in his relationship with Kristin. It worked. And to attack, to quote Ugly Betty, someone [like Groff] recently 'hatched from the gay egg' is unconscionable and he should strung be [up]. [Groff] made everyone want him in Spring Awakening. And Cheyenne was f*cking Elvis in All Shook Up. He was sexy and hot. He's always playing straight. And people buy tickets to see him. No straight critics accuse Sean Penn of not being able to play Harvey Milk or [criticize] Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.

See, it isn't about the actor, it's about the audience. Setoodeh points out Sean Hayes as his example to prove his theory, but Hayes spent years playing a gay man on television, and then recently came out in The Advocate. I think the audience can't separate Sean Hayes' homosexuality from Sean Hayes' performance in Promises, Promises. And until we have an audience that understands that its acting, we'll çontinue have this discussion.

But to denounce Setoodeh, I think is a bit ridiculous. Sure, he got off the mark by making the article about Hayes--and also dragging in recently out actor Jonathan Groff, who's now appearing as a straight boy on Glee. That's the wrong approach. Discuss why audiences may, or may not accept a gay man playing straight, don't make a blanket judgement against all gay actors being unable to play straight.

Who Knew? And Why Am I So Pissed Off About It?

By now there are only two people who don't know that Sean Hayes, aka Jack MacFarland from TV's Will & Grace, has officially come out of the closet. And those two people probably live in South Carolina; just sayin'.

Is it a surprise that Hayes is now "officially" out? Not really. He's long been "suspected" of being a Friend Of Dorothy, though he has never publicly uttered the words. And therein lies the rub.

See, for the run of W&G Hayes refused to answer that question. He played the "I don't talk about my personal life" card; he played the "I don't want to be pigeonholed" card. He played everything but the "Yes, I am" card.

“When I play a gay character I want to be as believable as possible. And when I’m playing a straight character I also want to be as believable as possible. So the less that people know about my personal life, the more believable I can be as a character.”

And that's what has people annoyed. And by people, I mean, me.

I don't care if Sean Hayes is gay. Makes not one bit of difference in my life. But then I am a longstanding out queer, and I don't need a role model who might be able to pave the way for me to be able to utter those two little words: I'm gay.

But there are, or were, lots of people, young and old, who could have used a Sean Hayes example of coming out to make them feel okay to make that first step. And, for me, that is of the utmost importance: coming out. We need people to see us; to know us. How else can we expect anyone to understand our fight for our rights if they don't actually know us?

And Sean Hayes was a part of that problem.

Now, to his credit, he wasn't seen "dating" women, and he made no mention of dating women. You didn't see him at the Emmys with a pretty little thing on his arm. All well and good. But, think; what if he had gone to the Emmys with a male date? Wouldn't that have been great? What might that have done for all those people in the closet, knowing that Sean Hayes was an out actor and it was no big deal?

As the writer of The Advocate interview points out, Hayes was using his personal Don't Ask, Don't Tell--and we all know how well that works. Still, people assumed he was gay because he played gay--though Eric McCormack, who played Will, is a heterosexual, and no one confused that. But then McCormack didn't hide his orientation, because he didn't have to, and Hayes shouldn't have either. But he says he felt pressure to stay closeted.

“This town’ll do that to you. It’ll just keep you in that box until you have no choice but to be the thing that they want you to be.”

But is it the town, or is it the actor, or performer? I know Ellen Degeneres went through the same thing, but she came out before Will & Grace was anything more than an idea. So, if she blazed the trail, why did Sean Hayes stay in hiding? Was it just to get work?

Not really, because Sean Hayes did work during and after W&G. He played Jerry Lewis in a 2003 TV film; he was in an independent film, Pieces Of April, in 2003, and in 2007 he was Jack Nicholson's assistant in The Bucket List.

Would he have gotten those roles as an out gay actor? Who's to say, though Sean Hayes doesn't think so. He again plays the pigeonhole card, talking about how the Hollywood "suits" would have viewed him had been out. But, I wonder, do the suits care about a person's orientation, or about how much money can be made off the project? And does that amount of money vary if an out gay actor is in the piece?

So, Hayes stayed in; and the press worked overtime talking of his reluctance to be open about his personal life. And Hayes grew angry about that, and probably stepped further back into the closet. Even The Advocate, preparing for W&G's final episode wrote a piece about Hayes called “Sean Hayes: The Interview He Never Gave.” It was basically a bunch of quotes he'd used in interviews throughout the years that made him look very foolish for being so coy about his orientation. And since Hayes had refused for years to be interviewed by The Advocate, that last article didn't help matters.

“Really? You’re gonna shoot the gay guy down? I never have had a problem saying who I am. I am who I am. I was never in, as they say. Never."

And there we have it! Why I'm pissed at Sean Hayes.

He was IN. He was way in the closet. See, no matter how many people think you're gay, talk to one another about whether or not you're gay, no one really knows you're gay until you say the words: I'm.Gay. And until now, Sean Hayes has never said them publicly. So why now? I mean, if his arguments for Not Telling were good enough during the run of W&G, then why come out now? Well, Sean Hayes isn't talking about that.

But, is it his responsibility to talk about being a gay man? Yes, it is. Howard Bragman, a public relations expert who specializes in advising high-profile clients who are coming out--he recently advised Meredith Baxter, though not Sean Hayes, says, “The research says if somebody knows a gay person, they’re going to be more in favor of our civil rights. And tens of millions of people know Sean and love him. This is an old friend telling us he’s gay, and it’s going to resonate.”

That's my belief, too. How many people might have different views of the LGBT community if more of us, both public figures, celebrities, and private citizens, spoke up? You cannot be afraid of something that's out in the open. It's the fear of what homosexuality might be, that feeds this hatred of our community, and the more of us that come out, the less afraid people will be of us.

"I believe that nobody owes anything to anybody. Nobody owes anything to anybody. You are your authentic self to whom and when you choose to be, and if you don’t know somebody, then why would you explain to them how you live your life?”

Why, Sean? Because they might see you as an ally; they might feel less afraid of being their authentic self if they knew that you were truly being your authentic self. By staying quiet, or making the innocuous hidden statement, you've done a disservice to the LGBT community, and the hetero community as well. You refused, for years, to let people know what gay looks like and sounds like and acts like; and that gay can be just like anyone else.

“I feel like I’ve contributed monumentally to the success of the gay movement in America, and if anyone wants to argue that, I’m open to it. You’re welcome, Advocate. Why would you go down that path with somebody who’s done so much to contribute to the gay community? That was my beef about it. What more do you want me to do? Do you want me to stand on a float? And then what? It’s never enough."

No, Sean, I don't want you to stand on a float. I only wish that you would have simply stood up, because when one of us stands up, then those still seated just might follow suit.