I Didn't Say It ...

Taraji P. Henson, urging guests at the 2024 BET Awards to look up Project 2025, educate themselves on it and vote:

"I'm telling y'all, you better show up and show out. I'm being serious now. It's not just about the presidential election, you guys. It's time for us to play chess, not checkers. It’s about making decisions that will affect us as human beings. Our careers, our next generations to come. Did you know that it is now a crime to be homeless? Pay attention. It’s not a secret. Look it up. They are attacking our most vulnerable citizens. The Project 2025 plan is not a game. Look it up. I'm not trying to scare us, I'm trying to inform us. I’m talking to the mad people who don't want to vote. You're gonna be mad about a lot of things if you don't vote."

So … Project 2025, known as the Presidential Transition Project, is a conglomerate of conservative policy proposals, potential picks to fill positions for the next administration, and more in the event that The Felon is elected president.

Henson also criticized the recent set of U.S. House bills, including the defense bill to automatically register men between a certain age for the draft and the suggested update that would include women.

It’s real, and a Blue vote could stop it.

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Lara T, goose-stepping daughter-in-law of The Felon, suddenly concerned about democratic norms.

“Joe Biden has said he’s not going anywhere. His campaign came out right after that debate and said not only is he not quitting. They have committed to do the debate in September as well, which is shocking to hear. But Kamala Harris polls just about as bad, if not worse in a lot of cases, than Joe Biden. And so, they have a huge problem on their hands. If they remove Joe Biden from the ticket somehow and they do not have Kamala Harris as their nominee, and they try to plug someone else in, Maria, it is literally going against our democratic process here in this country.”

If, as this loon bleats, Kamala polls worse than Biden then why isn’t she all for Biden dropping out? Is it because she’s afraid Kamala would wipe the floor with her racist, rapist, traitorous con artist father-in-law?

PS I was hard-pressed to find a single picture of Lara T. where she doesn’t look like she’s on the verge of giving an oral argument.

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Hakeem Jeffries, Minority Leader of the House, on this week’s SCOTUS ruling to protect The Felon:

“House Democrats will engage in aggressive oversight and legislative activity with respect to the Supreme Court to ensure that the extreme, far-right justices in the majority are brought into compliance with the Constitution.”

Just one more in a long line of reasons to Vote Blue; make Jeffries Speaker of the House and give Blue a majority and they will school the court.

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Nancy Pelosi, on The Felon’s own issues with mental acuity:

“I want you to know I came home to California, south and north, and the people are for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. They have some judgment about a person who stood on that stage and lied, lied, lied, if you’re just talking about the debate. I am respectful of some of the opinions that people have, but it is also respectful of the grassroots. My people are very much for Biden and Kamala Harris and this is an opportunity for Joe Biden to go out there and show he has the stamina. By the way, there are health care professionals who think that [The Felon] has dementia. That his connection of his thoughts do not go together. It’s not only that he just lies. He doesn’t even know the truth. So if we’re talking about mental acuity, let’s be fair about it, I don’t think … that [The Felon] should be president of the United States.”

Case in point? Read on …

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The Felon, talking utter nonsense at another rally of his;

“All they know is electric, they want electric army tanks, they want electric planes. What happens if the sun isn’t shining while you’re up in the air? Well, sir, those, you know that I told you there’d be problems, sir. No, they want electric everything every day. They want electric boats. The problem, the boats, they, they don’t float because the battery is so heavy. It sinks the boat. They say we don’t care. We want 'em anyway.”

Yes, if the sun isn’t out the planes can’t fly.

That’s the kind of leadership the GOP is trying to foist on America.

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John Fetterman, on the talk of Biden stepping aside:

“That whole abandoned Biden thing—that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. I mean, if you are more inclined to vote for a Democrat or be a Democrat, if you’re willing to walk away from Joe Biden—you’re, by defecting, helping [The felon]. I had a difficult debate, and yet we still managed to go on to win [the election]. Now, everybody was calling that—that was the end of my career, that was the end of this race and everyone was predicting that I was going to lose actually by 2 points or more. And I smoked Oz by 5 points and that’s what I’m saying. It—it’s like one debate is not a career.”

Truth.

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An Open Letter To Taraji P. Henson

Dear Taraji P. Henson,

Please take a seat and think about what you said.

Back story: Henson’s former ‘Empire’ co-star, Jussie Smollett, was found guilty on five counts of felony disorderly conduct for making false reports to police that he was the victim of a hate crime in January 2019. Smollett maintained his innocence and denied the accounts of Olabinjo and Abimbola Osundairo, two men he knew from his TV show, who say they were paid by Smollett to stage a fake hate crime attack to garner sympathetic media coverage.

And Henson thinks, not that Smollett is innocent, but that the sentence of 5 months is too much because Smollett has already paid for his crimes by losing his career and his ability to work in Hollywood.

Okay, Taraji, that may make sense, but then you take a swan dive into incredulity when you suggest that Smollett’s sentence is akin to the murder of Emmett Till:

“I am not here to debate you on his innocence but we can agree that the punishment does not fit the crime. Emmett Till was brutally beat and ultimately murdered because of a lie and none of the people involved with his demise spent one day in jail, even after Carolyn Bryant admitted that her claims were false. No one was hurt or killed during Jussie’s ordeal. He has already lost everything, EVERYTHING! To me as an artist not able to create that in itself is punishment enough. He can’t get a job. No one in Hollywood will hire him and again as an artist who loves to create, that is prison. My prayer is that he is freed and put on house arrest and probation because in this case that would seem fair. Please #freejussie.”

Jussie Smollett is no Emmett Till; Jussie Smollett is Carolyn Bryant. Jussie Smollett is the liar. Jussie Smollett is alive. Emmett Till is dead.

And., because of what Smollett was found guilty of, the next time a gay man or woman reports a hate crime in Chicago, or maybe anywhere, there may be a sense of the crime being faked for attention., Jussie Smollett, because of his lie, has made it harder for LGBTQ+ Americans, and People of Color, to report a crime without someone, anyone, thinking it’s a falsehood.

Jussie Smollett is no Emmet Till who did nothing wrong and was murdered because a woman lied. Jussie Smollett is alive and in jail because he did something wrong and he lied about it.

Seriously Taraji, he is no Emmett Till, and you should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting such.

PS While her Instagram post drew some 47,000 likes, after it went viral she disabled her comment section.

It's Snarkurday!

Well, it’s been about five years since Katie Holmes tied the sheets together, slithered down a wall, outran the hounds, jumped the fence and hitchhiked to New York to get out of being married to Tom Cruise so what time is it?

Time for Tommy to take a bride, y’all! And rumor has it that Tommy has auditioned the perfect beard candidate who will sign that ten year contract for fortune and fame and Scientology.

And she is .... drum roll ... British actress Vanessa Kirby. Vanessa is twenty-eight, loves long walks in the woods, nights in front of the fire sipping wine, and marrying a diminutive lunatic. She is also, and no surprise here, a costar of Little Tom’s in Mission: Impossible 6.

A source, and you know it ain’t Leah Remini, says:

“He wants to make her the next Mrs. Tom Cruise. They had instant chemistry, and of course she got the role. He’s blown her away with his endless charm and energy. He thinks she’s perfect to be his next wife. His role as a husband and father is of the utmost importance to him. He can’t wait to be a family man all over again.”

Instant chemistry arrived after Kirby was given a crash course in all the things one needs to do to be Missus Tommy Cruise: never be taller than Tom; never be better at acting than Tom; be a slave to every single wish of Tom’s.

And maybe this time will be “The One,” unlike Mimi and Nicole and Kate. Or, maybe in five years we’ll be reading about another Scientology wife escaping from Cruise Compound.

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Empire used to be good TV until they ran out of stories to tell and just began recycling old stories into new episodes; and that happened in season one so you can tell how far it’s fallen. So, how are they gonna get people to watch? Make up a catfight between two female stars of the show, Taraji P. Henson and Nia Long.

There are all kinds of rumors about how Nia and Taraji hated each other on the show; Nia came on as one of Lucious—Terrence Howard—Lyon’s exes and she and Cookie—Taraji—go to battle. So, naturally the two women had to hate on each other in real life, too. In fact, folks are saying the two were so evil with one another that the show almost had to pull a Good Wife and so the directors had Taraji and Nia film separately and then splice their scenes together in editing.

Sources say Taraji didn’t like the way Nia treated the crew, which may be true because, ALLEGEDLY, the makeup and hair people filed a complaint against Nia saying she screamed at them when she didn’t like the way they did her up.

But then sources also claim Nia was a raging diva bitch, too; there was an incident involving a Make-A-Wish kid, whose wish was to visit the set, and once Nia was done shooting, and gone for the day, the crew prepared her trailer for the girl. Nia showed back up and went Joan Crawford on the crew for using her trailer for the Make-a-Wish girl.

Sources also say Nia was always late, making Taraji and Terrence wait but, on the last day of shooting, it went off ... on the guest star’s last day, the Assistant Director usually calls it a wrap for that actor and asks everyone to clap for them. The A.D. didn’t do that for Nia, she lost it and threatened to sue after claiming the “goodbye” was in her contract.

Seriously? You need a contract to make people say “goodbye”?

Gurl, bye. Cuz you won’t be back.

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Oh Gwyneth, stop talking, please.

Paltrow’s newest thing is calamari. Apparently GOOP and her minions were having a conversation about LA restaurants when someone recommended the BBQ octopus at a place in Silver Lake. GOOP chimed in that she will no longer eat octopus being, ahem, they’re way too smart for humans to eat, and we know this to be true, because Paltrow Instagrammed the conversation:

“Octopus are too smart to be food. They have more neurons in their brains than we do. I had to stop eating them because I was so freaked out by it. They can escape from sea world ... by unscrewing drains and going out to sea.”

So, Gwyneth won’t eat anything smarter than her? I guess that rules out everything ... except maybe dirt.

Cuz she’s dumb as dirt.

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Looks like A-Hole—that’s the name I’ve given to the Couple Of The Minute, A-Rod and JLo—might really be serious, because A-Rod’s sister just called JLo her sister-in-law on Instagram.

Here’s how this will run down ... A-Hole will marry before Easter, announce a pregnancy ion Father’s Day, he’ll be caught cheating on July 4th, they’ll separate by Labor Day, and divorce just before Halloween so JLo can get back together with former Boy-Toy Casper Smart and take him Trick-or-Treating.,

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That Woman is not having it was Rob—why isn’t his name Krob?—Kardastrophe’s Baby Mama, Chyna.

Since Chyna and Rob are so done, That Woman has lined up a custody battle for the next season of their Krap Show. Chyna ALLEGEDLY doesn’t want dual custody with Krob so That Woman and her coven of daughters are ready to do battle.

And not for Krob’s sake, you know; I mean that whole family turned their backs on him when he began battling depression and gained weight, cuz,. You know, that ain’t good for the cameras unless the depression is because your husband is a douche or the weight gain is in your ass.

But they know how their bread gets buttered: drama. And what better drama then a televised custody case for next season, with That Woman showing up in court a la Alexia Carrington in that season of Dynasty?

Seriously; if it gets ratings it’s worth it. Never mind about the kid.

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So, last in December Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott were slapped with a lawsuit from City National Bank over an unpaid loan, and now that lawsuit is coming back to haunt The TooRichToPayOurBills’s.

City National loaned Tori and Dean $400,000 back in 2012, and they only paid back about half, though Tori also owes some $17,000 in overdrawn funds, and now City National is tired of waiting and they are demanding their coins. They have issued a default judgment against Tori and Dean for $188,000 and also want the $17,000 to cover their overdrawn account. If the judgment is granted, then the bank can collect and where will they go first?

Mama Candy’s dee-luxe apartment in the sky-y-y-y-y ... cuz that’s where Tori and Dean always turn when they screw the folks they owe.

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Cat Deeley needs to watch herself. I mean, she’s the host of a dance competition show, not Meryl Fucking Streep ... or even Reese Don’t You Know Who I am Witherspoon!

Deeley and friends ate dinner at a fancy LA restaurant, TOMGEORGE,  and she hated it so much she instantly took to Twitter to kvetch:

“The worst featuring! Worst food! As for the manager?????? Moron!!!!!”

And she wasn’t done:

“The most disgusting restaurant , terribly run , by a manager - who can only be described as an amateur. Avoid at all costs. #tomgeorge”

And when Cat was asked to explain why it was so awful, she didn’t. She just kept dragging the same old story:

“Terrible food. Disaster”

“Absolutely awful! Worst restaurant in LA.”

Finally,  someone named J. Vasko-Bezenek—who says he was Deeley’s server that night—stepped forward to clap back at Cat:

“@catdeeley Cat, as your server at TomGeorge I am hurt by your response to free food. I gave you respect, and I served you with love.”

It appears Cat and her party ordered $200 worth of fancy burgers and fries—with lettuce on the side ... what?—then complained until they were given a discount of $123; and the Cat tipped the server nothing. Zip, zilch, nada, bupkis!

Cat then released a slew of excuses ...

“And as I respectfully told you, the catalogue of errors were not your fault . However the mistakes were repeatedly not correctly rectified. The food was terrible and your manager was unhelpful and rude. Respect and love should be shown to all, attention to detail is necessary too! Just to be clear. Our order arrived at the table incorrectly FIVE times! Then one of my guests dishes was inedible. There was zero service.”

Um, Cat, honey? If it was so bad, you get up and leave; you don’t run the server ragged and then give him nothing.

And you don’t dish a restaurant by saying it’s bad; we want gory details. I mean, was it iceberg lettuce that they brought you to nibble on and not those fancy micro greens you normally graze through during a meal?

Give us details; or, better yet, stay home ... and pipe down.

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Random Musinsg

As I was saying … we got through the storm fairly well. That's our little patch of South Carolina in the circle there, with rain totals of about 16 inches from Friday night to Monday morning.

There was some water in the fireplace from wind driven rain coming down the chimney. And one of the skylights in the sunroom leaked a little.

Both of these things caused Carlos to thrust his head into his hands because he hates to spend money to fix anything, and because he thinks he can do anything himself.

“We are not having ___________ come back to fix the skylight again since he didn’t do a good job!”

“Um, _____ re-caulked the skylight when he saw it three years ago and it hasn’t leaked since. But he did say it might need to be replaced as it’s almost thirty-five years old.”

“Okay, whatever. But I think we can put a cap on the chimney ourselves.”

“Wait a sec! Are you a f**king masonry expert now, too? Cool. When we get done with the chimney why not build us a car in our spare time?”

Luckily I talked him down off his high horse and didn’t have to talk him down off the roof.

So, it ALLEGEDLY it went like this:

Kim Davis says the Pope wanted to see her.

The Vatican neither confirmed nor denied the story.

The Vatican then did not deny the story.

The Vatican confirmed the story.

Kim David says Pope Frankie told her to stay strong and ‘fight the fags,’ though I might be paraphrasing that last part.

The Vatican is pissed.

And has now come out and said the only people to have an actual audience with the Pope, and not just trotted out to shake his hand and say nothing to him, were a former student and his husband, with whom the Pope spoke personally.

Kim Davis. The Liberty Counsel. Called out as liars by the Vatican.

Life is good.

The new television season is underway and the Hot Men Parade continues …

Alexander Fehling plays Carrie’s boyfriend on the new season of Homeland and he is Ginger Hot.

Matt Chen, who apparently only wears shirts that are two sizes too small — and that is not a complaint — is a new mystery man on How To Get Away With Murder, while Adan Canto is the new mystery ‘ranch hand’ on Blood & Oil — which is basically Dallas in Montana with hotter guys.

And finally we have Josh Stamberg, who plays Helens’ new love interest on The Affair, and during last week’s episode left nothing to the imagination. Nothing.

[Alexander Fehling,  Matt Cohen, Adan Canto, Josh Stamberg]

Rumor has it that a new movie, possibly a Lifetime film, will be made on the life and time and hypocrisy of Kim Davis.

Danny Devito is set to star ….

So, rapper 50 Cent is not a fan of Empire … perhaps because, folks say, he produces a similar show on Starz called Power. I watch both, and the only thing the two shows have in common are predominantly black casts, so I don’t get why 50 is pissy about Empire.

But he is; and he proved it by Instagramming a photo of the Empire cast, suggesting that season two is already seeing a ratings decline with his explanation as to why:

“‘There are 3 million less viewers who tuned into last night’s Empire episode!!!! did you watch it? We could not take the extra gay stuff or celebrity stuff last night!!!!’”

Oh, so 50 hates the ‘gay’ stuff? Methinks 50 is a little hot on the ‘gay’ stuff, personally ... because he has dogged Empire ever since it premiered to huge ratings last year calling it “some sh*t you get for free,” as opposed to his premium show, Power,  which is “worth paying for.” 

After people began to bitchslap 50 on social media he deleted that particular Instagram, but posted a new one, directed at Taraji P. Henson, who plays Cookie on Empire:

“Empire’s ratings took a huge hit. Okay I’ll stop now. Cookie call me baby. I’ll tell every body to watch the show for you.” 

But everyone knows you don’t mess with Cookie, who apparently Taraji P. Henson’s Twitter account to shut this thing down:

“I pay attention to $’s not CENTS.”

Advantage: Cookie.

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Lastly, the latest edition of Cosmopolitan features the Kardastrophe Klan in all their pinched, tucked, nipped, Botoxed, plumped, dyed, cinched, stretched glory, under the heading “America’s First Family.”

And people are enraged that Cosmo would dare call any family other than the Obama’s by that name, given that the Obama’s are a decent kind loving family thrust into the spotlight because the patriarch is the first African American President, and the Kardastrophes were thrust into the spotlight because Kim can’t keep her legs closed and the camera off and That Woman pimps out her own children for coins.

Just sayin’.

[Kardastrophes, Obamas]

Emmy Detritus ... The Fashion ... And Hottie McHot Jon Hamm

THE BEST

Viola Davis ... she could do no wrong, taking home an Emmy, giving a gorgeous speech, and looking this fabulous.

THE GOOD

Jamie lee Curtis, proving you don't have to be nipped and tucked and dyed and rail thin to be beautiful in Hollywood.

Taraji P. Henson. It was hothothot on Emmy night and Cookie looked so cool ... and so hot.

THE M'KAY

Kerry Washington always takes a fashion risk and, while I like this metal dress, I cannot help but think it's looks like a Tin Man version of Carol Burnett's 'Eunice' dress.

Sofia Vergara. The epitome of 'Meh' because this is the same basic dress she always wears, albeit in a different fabric.

THE MEH

Claire Danes. I actually like the dress and I like the chains and I love the color, but I don't like the President of the PTA hair.

Lady Gaga. I.Expected.More.

THE BAD

Christina Hendricks. I like that she;'s a proud curvy woman,and she's beautiful, but the curves on this dress do her no justice at all. It's mad, men.

January Jones. The color is hideous and the billowy fabric on the legs makes her seem lopsided when the wind blows like she has one gargantuan gam and one pencil thin stick.

THE AWFUL

Joanna Newsom ... Andy Samberg's wife. I can't help but thinking, "Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the play?"

Kiernan Shipka. A lampshade on stilts.

THE WORST

Heidi Klum in what looks like  a mashup of Big Bird, brothel madam autumn leaves and way gay chain male. I seriously thought this was a joke ... and it is.

HOTTEST MAN

Jon Hamm finally won his Emmy and he looked hot and sexy while doing it. Man, oh, man, that man can rock a suit.

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Random Musings

Around Casa Bob y Carlos, I do most of the cooking, especially dinner. I like it; it’s not a chore. Carlos, on the other hand, likes to say that he does ‘breakfast,’ when what he does is make the Café con leche and pour me a glass of juice. He then prepares his own breakfast and I make my own meal. In a note of complete transparency, Carlos will make breakfast on Sunday, like Pancakes or a Martha Stewart Dutch Baby pancake-like concoction.

But I digress.

See, as we get ready to go to bed, Carlos will ask what I want for breakfast — which I find funny since he doesn’t make it — and I’ll say, ‘Fruit and toast’ or ‘Cereal.’ One day last week, I answered, ‘Would you make oatmeal.’ He said he would.

The next morning, yes, you guessed it, no oatmeal. And when asked about it, politely as I could since I am not a morning person, he replied that I’d never told him I wanted oatmeal, meaning he believed the entire conversation to be all in my head.

How.Dare.He! Usually in situations like this, I will begin singly, sadly and oh-so-off-key, ‘Mister Cellophane,’ from Chicago, but this morning I took a different route:

♫♪ I’m forgettable … in every way …

I asked for oatmeal … I guess, not today …

Darling that’s why it’s regrettable …

That I am totally forgettable …

I guess my oatmeal, is forgettable too ♫♪

Breakfast and a concert; ah, life at Casa Bob y Carlos.

Rand Paul’s running for President. The good news is that he’ll lose; the better news is that it appears he will also lose his seat in the Senate as well, because he can’t run for President and retain his seat.

Bye Rand.

Oh, and take Marco Rubio with you, too, because he’s planning his big announcement” soon as well, and, yeah, not presidential.

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Okay, I have a confession to make: I … watch … The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

There. I said it. Go ahead and judge. But, before you do, let me relay this tale:

On this week’s reunion, Kim, the Krazy One, was implying that Lisa Rinna’s husband, the totes adorbs Harry Hamlin, had a secret and Lisa Rinna said, and I ‘ll quote:

‘What is it, Kim? Is he fucking the dog? Is Harry fucking the dog?’

I simply love the irreverence of that, and the WTFuckery of it, and I have been asking everyone that question all week.

Try it: ‘Is Harry fucking the dog?’

Out there is Fargo North Dakota, the local paper, the Forum of Fargo-Moorhead made a bold statement for LGBT equality when it featured the photos of every single North Dakota congressional Representative who voted against LGBT non-discrimination protections.

Matthew Von Pinnon, the paper’s editor, says it wasn’t intended as a shaming tool but:

“We did it simply to convey the info people wanted to know, no matter which side of the issue they are on. They wanted to know how each lawmaker voted. We shared all votes, including from the Senate, which had earlier narrowly passed the bill.”

Look, spin it how you like, but you showed the ‘No’ votes so the people of North Dakota will know who is pro LGBT discrimination.

I loves me some Taraji P. Henson. I am totally Team Cookie, but … girl needs to check it.

She’s hosting Saturday Night Live this week, and actually said this about it:

“It’s like a dream come true. Legends do SNL. I’m a legend.”

Bitch please. You are the breakout star of a TV show — which I love love love — that’s been on barely a season. That does not a legend make.

Hopefully Cookie won’t come for me now that I’ve said that.

Overheard at Work:

Co-worker: ‘Can you believe that guy is wearing flip-flops with long pants? I’ve never seen anything so hideous.’

Bob: ‘Really? Don’t you own a mirror?’

Co-worker: ‘What does that mean?’

Bob: ‘It means: two-toned hair, a pastel color-blocked shirt and skinny jeans. Honey? No … no.’

Okay, yeah, I know! He’s been here before, and a lot. Sue me. I think Timothy Olyphant is hotter than hot and his show, Justified, is airing its series finale next week and, well, there goes my weekly Timothy Olyphantasy.

I.Can.t