I Didn't Say It ...

Curdin Orlik, Swiss wrestler, has come out as gay, making him Switzerland’s first openly gay male professional athlete.

“For far too long I have pushed out who I really am. I am not someone who kisses in front of people, but I want to lie down with a man and be able to touch him. … I always knew that I was gay, for sure since I was 12. But I thought: this is wrong, it cannot be. I heard things on the school building square [like] ‘you gay pig,’ ‘you faggot.’ Or in soccer, ‘such a gay pass!’ Even when wrestling. Sure, nobody really meant that, but if you’re like that yourself, you think, ‘Sh*t, that’s not a good thing.’ I thought: I don’t want to be gay. But it’s me. Now it’s out[and] I am overwhelmed by the large number of positive reactions that you have sent me through a variety of channels. With your wonderful feedback, I am now starting a new, open and free period of my life. Thank you very much – with all my heart . Special thanks go to my parents and everyone else who supported me in advance.”

Welcome out you ginormous slab of beefcake. And please accept, as our gift from HOMO HQ, the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven™ and a copy of The Gay Agenda … both quite the collector’s items.

I’ll be over here, assuming the position.

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Seth Meyers, on Coronavirus “Expert” and “Doctor” President:

“We are now seeing what it’s like when a lifelong scam artist is in charge of responding to a public health crisis .Three days after _____ predicted coronavirus would be good for the economy the stock market plunged so much that when it opened trading had to be stopped. The drop was so bad the red arrow on the TV screen grew legs and ran away … _____ has always been able to BS and threaten and litigate his way out of accountability to avoid consequences and now as he oversees the government’s response to a global public health emergency he’s trying to do the same thing. You think you know about science because your uncle was a doctor? People don’t just automatically know what their uncles know. Otherwise we would all know the lyrics to every Steely Dan song. The only white coat you should be wearing is a straitjacket.”

And I, for one, hope to see him in a straitjacket one day; or better yet, prison orange.

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Cindy Jacobs, religious wackjob, declares Coronavirus “illegal In Jesus’ Name”:

 “We’re going to decree that the coronavirus will cease worldwide. Now what’s gonna happen? I don’t know if everybody will get healed. I don’t know,  we’re praying. We prayed for vaccines. We prayed for Israel. They had vaccines. We have people interceding across the face of the Earth. Listen: Intercessors have been going to Wall Street! I mean all over! I have to tell you: Intercessors are on this! I just want to thank you, intercessors of the world. You haven’t slept through this. Father, in the name of Jesus, You have promised we have all authority, not some authority! You have promised that we are seated with You in heavenly places, so we take Throne Room authority, and we bring that into the situation of the coronavirus, and we say in the name of Jesus, ‘Virus, you are illegal! This is God’s Earth!'”

Keep in mind, Cindy Jacobs says the Equality Act will cause civil war   said God told her he would destroy Kim Jong-Un if he didn’t convert to Christianity in  2018 … said God wants Christians to be “profoundly wealthy” so jealous Jews will convert … begged Christians to vote _____ so America stops “polluting” other countries with gayness … said she caused a short woman to grow three inches “on the spot” … said her prayers stopped the shoe-bomber … said her six-year-old son prayed away the assassination of Ronald Reagan …said she prayed away her own tumor … she prayed away a terrorist sleeper cell … metal illness … a car crash that would have killed David Barton… global recession … Hurricane Sandy. … and said God killed thousands of birds because of the repeal of DADT. 

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Jonathan Van Ness, Queer Eye star, on Aaron Schock’s coming out story:

“The amount of queens I’m seeing like Aaron Schock’s [Instagram] is such a lol. Ya’ll, this man lived in the closet while voting against LGBTQ interests for years. He screams about how he was victimized as he continues not giving back to the community he legislated against. Also his apology wholly dodges any responsibility in the awful actions he [perpetrated] against our community. Aaron Schock voted against repealing don’t ask don’t tell & various hate crime bills. While it should be noted I think there were homophobic forces within the GOP that led to the spending investigations that led to his resignation, he still in fact did a lot of dumb & stupid shit … and really from what I can tell hasn’t made amends or helped move our community forward in meaningful ways. … I want to celebrate Aaron but I find it hard. But yes Aaron, have fun at Coachella and glad you’ve joined the fight. I hope you actually work to undo your legacy.”

Perhaps once he stops shoving dollar bills in go-go boys’ G-strings.

Seriously, though, I’d be shocked if Schock ever amounted to any kind of LGBTQ+ icon; he’s a Republican, and only out, and out, for himself.

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Paul Begala, CNN commentator, saying “it’s a certainty” _____ will replace Mike Pence with Nikki Haley on his 2020 ticket:

“This is not a prediction. It’s a certainty. On Thursday, July 16, that’s the date the Democrat gives his or her acceptance address. On that day, to interrupt that narrative, Donald _____ will call a press conference at Mar-a-Lago. He’s gonna dump Mike Pence and put Nikki Haley on the ticket to try to get those suburban moms. You watch. Guaranteed.”

Wouldn’t be surprised; he’ll use Haley, a GOP sycophant, like McCain used Palin to try and grab the women’s vote. Won’t help, because he’s running for president and any woman who stands by a pussy grabbing name-calling rapist is no friend of women.

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Antonio Sabato Jr., says supporting _____ ruined his career:

“I had to sell everything. I had to pay all my debts. I was blacklisted. All my representatives left me, from agents to managers to commercial agents. I literally had to move, find a new job to survive and take care of my kids. It’s been terrible. It’s mind-blowing. It’s a disgrace. It’s tough, because if you’re in that environment in Hollywood and you have something to say that they don’t like, they’re going to let you know.”

Just like you have the right to support a lying misogynistic pussy groping con artist racist, people have the right not to hire you for that.

Sorry, not sorry.

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Alex Trebek, updating his battle with Cancer:

“Now, I’d be lying if I said the journey had been an easy one. There were some good days, but a lot of not-so-good days. I joked with friends that the cancer won’t kill me; the chemo treatments will. There were moments of great pain, days where certain bodily functions no longer functioned, and sudden, massive attacks of great depression that made me wonder if it really was worth fighting on. But I brushed that aside quickly, because that would have been a massive betrayal — a betrayal of my wife and soulmate, Jean, who has given her all to help me survive. It would have been a betrayal of other cancer patients who have looked to me as an inspiration and a cheerleader of sorts, of the value of living and hope. And it would certainly have been a betrayal of my faith in God and the millions of prayers that have been said on my behalf.”

I’m glad he’s sharing his story, if only because it might help someone feeling the same things, going through the same things; might make that person feel less alone.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Adam Rippon, US Olympic figure skater, on how his life has changed since coming out and taking on Bigot Pence:

“Being here at the Olympics it does give me a louder voice. And I’ve got a big mouth and a loud voice. But it has given men a platform. I think it’s so important that I use this platform to my advantage. I think that me using my voice has given my skating a greater purpose. I’ve gotten so many messages from young kids all over the country that my story has resonated with them and it’s incredibly powerful…In the past week I’ve heard a lot of people like, ‘whoa, Adam Rippon should tone it down.’ I can’t tone it down. I’m being me. And I’m being myself. And I’d be doing myself an injustice, and I’d be doing an injustice to those kids who don’t feel like they’re comfortable to be themselves. I talked to you about how I felt before the Games. And you know, it’s brought a lot of attention and questions to my other teammates. I don’t want to distract from their Olympic experience and I don’t want my Olympic experience to be about Mike Pence.”

We don’t want anything to be about Mike Pence, but thanks for standing up nonetheless.

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Antonio Sabato Jr., is running for Congress in California and playing the Obama is a Muslim card:

“No, what I was saying was he changed his name to ‘Obama’ because he followed the Islam religion when he was growing up. So I felt once you’re in that religion, you stay for the rest of your life.”

As Judge Judy says, beauty fades but dumb is forever…and now it’s running for Congress.

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Joe Biden, suggesting _____ may be compromised by Russia and Putin:

“Look, you know, I want to give every American, including the president, the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t fathom any reason other than he is concerned of what Putin might say or do, or what information he may or may not have.”

Come on, Joe, take him on. Run!

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Andrew Garfield, actor, one again saying he is heterosexual, but can see himself having sex with a man:

“Up until this point, I’ve only been sexually attracted to women. My stance toward life, though, is that I always try to surrender to the mystery of not being in charge. I think most people — we’re intrinsically trying to control our experience here, and manage it, and put walls around what we are and who we are. I want to know as much of the garden as possible before I pass — I have an openness to any impulses that may arise within me at any time. But, if I were to identify, I would identify as heterosexual, and being someone who identifies that way, and who’s taking on this seminal role, my scariest thought was, Am I allowed to do this?”

So, you’re straight but you might have sex with men, but you’ve never had sex with men and you’re straight and attracted to women?

Have I got that queer?

Siddown. You’re just posing.

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Jennie Willoughby, ex-wife of former White House staff secretary and alleged abuser, Rob Porter, on _____’s skepticism that she was a victim of domestic abuse:

“In light of the President’s and the White House’s continued dismissal of me and Colbie, I want to assure you my truth has not been diminished. I own my story and now that I have been compelled to share it, I’m not willing to cover it up for anyone. And for any men, women, or children currently in situations of abuse, please know: It is real. You are not crazy. You are not alone. I believe you.”

Of course a sexual predator and abuser will always stand by another abuser.

It’s what they do. I believe the women.

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Mick Mulvaney, _____lackey, defending the President-For-Now and his Tweet defending abuser Rob Porter:

“What I think you saw there was a couple of different things. That tweet we can be applied to a bunch of different people. When I saw the tweet, I noticed Rob Porter wasn’t mentioned. I had wondered if he was talking about his friend Steve Wynn who has been essentially condemned without due process. What you also saw that from the president is a certain sadness that somebody that he liked had let him down.”

So, it boils down to this:_____ has so many domestic abusers around him that Mulvaney wasn’t sure who he was talking about.

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Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs coach, on why it's important for the NBA to promote Black History Month:

"We live in a racist country… And it's always important to bring attention to it, even if it angers some people."

Plus, and get this clear, Black History is American History; it’s part of this country and to ignore or act like it’s for someone else is to diminish all history.

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Jeff Sessions, our National Keebler Elf and Attorney General, might just be a white supremacist:

"I want to thank every sheriff in America. Since our founding, the independently elected sheriff has been the people's protector, who keeps law enforcement close to and accountable to people through the elected process. The office of sheriff is a critical part of the Anglo-American heritage of law enforcement."

Anglo: a white, English-speaking American as distinct from a Hispanic American.

Yup. And it turns out that using the phrase "Anglo-American heritage" seems to have been an impromptu decision by Sessions because a written version of his remarks didn’t contain that phrase, but used the words … “The sheriff is a critical part of our legal heritage" … instead.

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Anderson Cooper, on the Fox News asshat John Moody’s assertion—that has since been deleted, that the motto of the Olympics, “Faster, Higher, Stronger”, might have been changed to “Darker, Gayer, Different”:

“First of all, darker, gayer, different is a terrible motto for the Olympics. It’s not a bad motto for a gay bar, I’ll give you that, but I’ll just assume those aren’t Mr. Moody’s favorite watering holes. Apparently Mr. Moody likes his Winter Olympics like he likes his orthodontia – straight, white, and all the same. [But] why is he clutching his pearls in fear and outrage over Team USA? Well it turns out that of over 244 athletes on the team, two of them had the courage to say openly and proudly that they’re gay. And as for the darker part of Mr. Moody’s Olympic fever dream? 10 [athletes]. Does this guy seriously have so little to do that he’s sitting around worrying that people who have no athletic ability get put on an Olympic team just because they’re gay or African American? And does it strike anyone else as hugely inappropriate that a guy who’s apparently high up at a news organization is upset about another organization striving for diversity? Moody’s comments might be funny if he was just a crank standing out on the street corner on Sixth Avenue outside Fox & Friends trying to get his sign on camera with a sign saying ‘darker, gayer, different’…but he is actually inside the building in a top position…I don’t know exactly what he does. It doesn’t sound like he does much – but as a gay man, if I was working under him, I sure would not feel all that welcome.”

It’s Fox News; stupid makes the news. Ignorance rules; bigotry and homophobia and asshattery are the norm.

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Random Musings

We ate breakfast together; drove to work together; came home together; ate dinner together. Then, as we’re sitting down in the living room Carlos says to me:

“You got your new glasses.”

“Uh, no, they’ll come in on Friday.”

“Are you sure? Those look like the new ones.”

"Uh, I’ve been wearing these for two years, so, yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re not the new ones that don’t come in until Friday.”

“They look like the new ones.”

And that’s when I reach for a cartoon frying pan to hit him in the head.

So, the foul New Jersey Governor, Chris “Krispy Kreme” Christie, attended a Mets game last night and caught a foul ball.

He was instantly booed ... so he opened wide and ate the ball.

Just sayin’.

So, now that the GOP, in control of the White House, the Senate and the House, cannot get their shiz together to pass a healthcare bill to replace the Affordable Healthcare Act, they have now set their sights on a repeal only mentality.

And it’s a worse idea than GOPDon’tCare ... according to the Congressional Budget Office repealing Obamacare would lead to 27 million uninsured in 2020, and 32 million uninsured by 2026. The CBO also projected that average premiums in the individual health insurance market would rise by about 25% next year, and inch over 50% higher in 2020, doubling by 2026.

Why not just repeal and replace the GOP? Problem solved.

So, _____’s lawyer tried to make the claim that the Secret Service was in attendance at Junior’s secret Collusion Meeting with the Russians last year, but the U.S. Secret Service is saying it ain’t so.

The President-For-Now’s lawyer asked:

“I wonder why the Secret Service, if this was nefarious, why the Secret Service allowed these people in. The president had Secret Service protection at that point, and that raised a question with me.”

The Secret Service snapped back saying Junior “was not a protectee of the USSS in June, 2016. Thus we would not have screened anyone he was meeting with at that time.”

Nice try, ambulance chaser. Now sit down.

In the Nothing To See Here File ... After his much-publicized, two-plus-hour meeting at the G20 with Vladi­mir Putin, it appears that _____ also met informally, and secretly, with Putin for an additional hour later the same day.

The second meeting went unreported at the time.

Like I said, Nothing To See Here ... Except More _____ Lies.

Caitlyn Jenner, Olympic gold medalist, reality show whore, has-been and ALLEGED transgender activist, is said to be thinking of running for the U.S. Senate representing California.

Seriously? Do we need another reality-show-whore with little experience in politics?

Caitlyn, if you wanna help the Trans community, or the LGBT community, why not do it out of the limelight instead of trying to live your life on TV.

California needs real representatives, not Fake Ones ... like soap actor and underwear model Antonio Sabato Jr. who is considering a run to represent the southern central coast and most of Ventura County in Congress.

Dear god ....

In This Can’t Be Good News ... new federal filings show that President _____’s re-election campaign is paying Junior’s defense attorney.

So the reelection money is for Junior’s legal defense? Huh?

And even more odd, is that the money was paid to Junior’s lawyers before the story of his lies and collusion hit the news, which kinda makes it look like they all knew the shiz was headed for the fan.

Lying _____’s? Say it ain’t so.

Delta Airlines has apologized via Twitter to hate-monger Ann Coulter after her Twitter meltdown over having to give up her seat ... and move over two seats, on a recent Delta flight.

Delta Tweeted:

“We’re sorry you did not receive the preferred seat you paid for and will refund your $30.”

Then they added:

“Additionally, your insults about our other customers and employees are unacceptable and unnecessary.”

Snap.

Yes, we’re still watching Will. It’s not as corny and cheese-filled after episode one and, Shallow Bob, there are so hot guys in it and it’s on TNT so you get some bare butts.

Hot Guys; Bare Butts. Two of my Go-To Wants in a TV show ... especially when there is some man-on-man TNT-type action.

So, this week we saw Mattias Inwood and his, dare I exaggerate, glorious ass. Along with Max Bennett as a priest ... a very hot priest.

So, yeah, Shallow Bob is still watching.

Well, it looks like Ryan Lochte, the bubble-brained swimmer who filed a fake police report in Rio last year to hide the fact he, and his friends, were a bunch of drunken vandals, will not be going to jail after all. He was cleared of all charges after an appeals court threw out the criminal charge against the moron.

Still, the idiot paid a fine for being a douche and also received a ten-month suspension from USA Swimming; oh, and Speedo, Ralph Lauren, and GentleLase hair removal system dropped him as their spokes-dumbass.

Now can he go away?

In the wake of his healthcare failure, his Iran failure, and his general failure at being the least bit presidential, _____ has decided to hold another one of his Ego Boosting Rallies to make him feel better.

Couldn’t Ivanka just have given him an ice cream cone and let him watch TV for an extra hour that night?

I’d like to thank the academy ... Oh, it’s not an Oscar, but a Blogger Award. Well,  okay, so what do I have to do?

Put the award image on my blog. Done.

List the rules. Um, okay ... ?

Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog. Thanks Toni at Wandering and Wondering. 

Also mention the creator of the award and provide a link; creator? Well, apparently, the creator was our Almighty Go .... Okoto Enigma, whoever that may be.

Tell your readers three things about yourself.

1. I’ve never been arrested, but it’s not for lack of trying; thinking back on things I did in my impetuous youth, I am still amazed that I made it this far without jail time, or being killed. What can I say; I was wild as a younger queerling.
2. These days I am likely to be in bed before 10:30 PM. But then I’m up by 6AM, so, you know, I need my beauty rest.
3. As a child, staying at home with my sister as a babysitter, I convinced her there was a man in our yard, thinking she’d take us to the neighbor’s house and we could go swimming; instead, she called the police, to whom I instantly lied and repeated the story. I didn’t tell my sister, or parents, the truth until the Statute of Limitations was up.

Nominate other bloggers. I’ll nominate you all! You get an award! And you get an award! You get one, too! Look at me! I’m Oprah!

Ask your nominees any five questions of your choice, plus one weird or funny question. ... why don’t y’all take a shot at these questions ...

1. What author would you want to write your biography? Bob Smith because he’s gay and funny and named Bob
2. If your life was a movie, what would the theme song be? I Am What I Am ... or maybe Rose’s Turn ... or And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going!
3. Destiny or Free Will? I’ll take a soupcon of both, please.
4. Have you ever read a book that truly changed your life? I don’t know if it changed my life, but How Long Has This Been Going On by Ethan Mordden made me want to know more about The Gays and our history.
5. Who/What has had the greatest impact on your life? My parents; I learned about the simple things from them: love, for yourself and others.
6. Funny/weird question: If you could bring any fictional character to life, who would you choose? Margo Channing, because she and I would be besties.

Share a link to my blog's best post. These might not be the best, but they're the ones that stick with me the most ...Hurt ... Random Musings ... Singular ... Shake The Etch-A-Sketch ... and of course ... Mr. and Mr.

Carlos got done talking with his Aunt Gloria last night and told me she had wanted to change the beneficiaries on her life insurance policy. She wanted him in charge, and then she’d leave instructions on how to split up the money. Then he looked at me and said

“You’re a contingency beneficiary?”

“What? Why?”

“If something happens to me, you’ll get the money.”

“Excuse me ...”

“Why?”

“I need to Google ‘undetectable poisons.’”

Why the man loves me I do not know .... 

Random Musings

After a lovely weekend, we are getting ready to leave the house for work; well, Carlos for work, and me for a visit to my hunky dentist Dr. Will. Carlos had made the Cafe con Leche, we’d had breakfast, watched the news, bitched about _____, and I went into the bathroom to make myself purty for the doctor.

When I come out, I see that Carlos has made the bed, and is sitting on the end of it. He says:

“Don’t panic. I think you need to take me to the hospital.”

First off, Don’t panic? Have we met? He knows the phrase ‘don’t panic’ sends me into a panic,  especially when the word hospital follows. I am normally a happy-go-lucky gay, but when I hear Don’t panic, my mind goes immediately to death and destruction.

At any rate, I asked what was wrong, and he tells me that he had a moment some three days earlier where he’d had to stop what he was doing—he was hoisting some yard refuse into the back of a friend’s truck—because he couldn’t catch his breath. And all.weekend.long he was short of breath and felt a pressure on his chest. All.Weekend.Long. I could have killed him for that alone.

So, off we go to the Smallville Hospital—yes, our small town has its own very good hospital—and the emergency room. He is seen almost right away and explains to nurses and doctors about his shortness of breath and his pressure. Any surgeries, they ask. He tells them he had his appendix removed some four, maybe five years ago, but looks at me because I’m better with dates.

“It was sixteen years ago.”

Oy! That man and dates. But again I digress ... they do blood-work and an EKG and a chest x-ray in the ER and all look very good. But they want him overnight to do more tests, like an echogram and a stress test.

I’m feeling relieved at the news, but still ... me, death, destruction. Carlos gets taken upstairs to a room and we sit and visit and he makes his phone calls, telling friends he’s in the hospital and No, it’s not for a face lift.

The next day he does the echogram and his cardiac doctor tells him they rarely see a perfect echogram but his is near perfect; the stress test is next—they either make you run on a treadmill, or they just stimulate the heart to mimic running. He does all that and then it’s wait and wait and wait.

Finally, at the end of the day those results come back and everything is good and normal, or Carlos’s normal, and he can come home.

We’ll see his primary care doctor next week for a follow-up, but it does appear that it was only a muscle pull or something that caused shortness of breath and pressure on the chest.

Now, I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but that was my diagnosis from the jump ... well, after I stopped panicking, so why he didn’t listen to me ... oh, yeah, better safe than sorry.

Anyway, life is back to being good.

Now, on something just odd ...

Richard Patterson, 65, of Margate, Florida, above, is accused of second-degree murder in the choking death of his girlfriend, Francisca Marquinez, 60.

At his trial, Patterson would like the jury to see the weapon with which he ALLEGEDLY choked his girlfriend.

It’s.His.Dick.

Patterson’s attorney claims his client accidentally choked Marquinez while she was performing oral sex, and to prove it, they would like Patterson to show his penis to the jury, saying its size is relevant.

The prosecutor had all sorts of questions:

“Is it going to be erect, or is it going to be flaccid?”

I would think erect because Patterson may be a grower not a shower. And, to be blunt, erect is how this all happened. The prosecutor also wondered how it would be presented to the jury.

“Do we do it in the back?”

Excuse me? Oh, my mind went there.

“Do we do it in open court?”

Yes, and have the court open wide .... ALLEGEDLY.

One nurse in the ER with Carlos this week heard his accent and asked where he is from; to be fair, his accent is part Spanish and part something else because even Latino people wonder where he’s from.

He told her, Mexico, and she said he was a long way from there; and then she looked at me and said,

“And you don’t sound like you’re from Smallville either.”

I told her I was from California, and she asked how Carlos and I ended up here from Mexico and the West Coast; I replied

“Witness protection.”

And then just smiled.

At the U.S. Coast Guard Academy graduation ceremony yesterday, presented _____  with a ceremonial sword and, jokingly[?], told _____ to “use that on the press, sir.”

Note to both Kelly, left, and _____, equal asshats:

Have you never heard the old saying that the pen is mightier than the sword?

Yeah, a pen will bring down this White House and no

t one sword can stop it. The pen s will work overtime until every last one of these asshats are gone from office, like ....

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy—a Republican, because of course, and one of _____’s  closest allies in Congress—who told Paul Ryan, a month before _____ clinched the Republican nomination that _____ could be the beneficiary of payments from Vladimir Putin:

“There’s two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and _____.”

Rohrabacher is a Republican, because of course, Congressperson from California, who is also a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.

And when Ryan heard these words from McCarthy he instantly stopped the conversation from going further, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

McCarthy and Ryan had just come from separate talks with Ukrainian Prime Minister Volodymyr Groysman, who had described a Kremlin tactic of financing populist politicians to undercut Eastern European democratic institutions.

So, there you have it, two more GOP goose-steppers putting their party before their country; demanding silence and looking the other way. Every one of these enablers and traitors needs to be voted out of Congress.

Now.

Well, every week since January we’ve heard tale of it being _____’s Worst Week Ever but clearly this week, with him giving confidential information to the Russians and the news that he tried to get former FBI director James Comey to stop investigating Michael “Lock her up” Flynn, is the worst so far ... especially with these new polls:

One shows that, for the first time, more voters—48%—support impeaching _____ versus 44% who are idiots. Just 43% of those polled think _____ will serve a full term, while 45% think he won’t.

And, as with those folks in England who voted for the Brexit and then went, “Wait, what?” it appears that, by an eight-point margin, 49% to 41%, people wish Hillary Clinton was President.

Even better ... by a sixteen-point margin, 55% to 39%, they wish Barack Obama was still in office instead of Trump.

Cue Tweet Storm .

We watched Bad Moms the other night and it was better than I thought, though it did veer wildly from sweet and lovely to F-bombs and dick jokes. One thing it did have going for it was Jay Hernandez as the Hot Guy. He was the Hot Guy.

Also, while I don’t watch Dancing With The Stars—because, really, dancing? Stars?—I did cruise by the channel Monday night and saw one Rashad Jennings, apparently a football player of some sort, dance ... shirtless.

And, yeah, hot.

Well, _____ supporter, soap actor, and recent Chippendale dancer, Antonia Sabato Jr, has announced he might want to run for office.

His estranged wife, though, has announced Sabato is a drug addict and an adulterer.

So, yeah, he’s running as a Republican.

Sitting with Carlos in his hospital room, I kept seeing nurses and orderlies pushing the meal carts up and down the hallway.

I think they should do like flight attendants and have a drink cart for those people sitting with the patients.

I mean, I could’a used a margarita at several points during the last couple of days.

On Mother’s Day, Paul Ryan stepped out of Hell to pose with his Mother and Tweet this ridiculousness:

Luckily, David Frum, former G. W. Bush speechwriter, is, while still a Republican is also part of The Resistance, and so he trolled Paul Ryan for being the hypocrite that he is: