Snarky Thoughts

All right kids let’s make this queer: there is only one Cher, and there will always, only and ever be one Cher. I say this to the Twitterer who posted a clip of 27-year-old singer Dua Lipa and wrote:

“Dua Lipa, the Cher of our generation.”

And then Cher herself responded with:

“How many years are in a generation?”

My Thought: Come back in forty-five years if Dua Lipa is still recording and touring successfully or, failing that, come back when Dua Lipa has number one hits in six consecutive decades.

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There is nothing that can quench Madonna’s thirst for attention, but she wants everyone to know that she is obsessed with sex. Like she hasn’t said that every day since the late eighties, and even when she gave us a book that no one asked for called Sex. And then she also admitted that she regrets both her marriages, which must be lovely for the children she had with Guy Ritchie.

My Thought: Grandma needs a mental health day.

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Ozzy Osbourne revealed in a recent interview that he and his wife of 40 years Sharon Osbourne, plan to permanently move back to their native England in the next few months and that The U.S.’s political climate and frequent mass shootings are part of their reasoning.

My Thought: they’re moving back because Sharon’s big mouth has got her banned from TV in Americas and what else can she do?

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It turns out that video footage of JLo’s current wedding, where she performed at her own ceremony because, well, attention-seeking fame-whore, was leaked to the press, and JLo is steaming mad that someone would invade her privacy so.

My Thought: if it was all so personal and private, Jell-O, why did you sell the photos and the story and all kinds of intimate details to People magazine. Oh, wait, asked and answered:  attention-seeking fame-whore.

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Oh Stacey Dash, former actress, former Fox News bimbo, and Thing 45 lover, has made a fool of herself yet again, by posting a video of herself to TikTok where’s she crying over the death of DMX … who died of an overdose over a year ago.

My Thought: How is she going to react when she learns her career also died several years ago?

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I Didn't Say It ...

Lady Gaga, on _____’s plans to legally erase Trans Americans:

“The government may be living in an alternate universe, but we as a society & culture know who we are and know our truth and must stick together and raise our voices so we can educate them about gender identities … While today you might feel unheard or unseen, know that this is not the reality of humanity. This is another display of leadership being driven by ignorance.”

And, We The People have the power to change that, and turn this country away from fear and hate, away from ignoring the minorities among us, and working for a better country for us all.

Cast.A.Goddamned.Vote.

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Seth Meyers, on _____’s attempts to paint Democrats as an angry mob:

“First of all, when _____ finds a rhyme like ‘mobs and jobs,’ that’s his Gettysburg Address. Second, you’re accusing Democrats of asking like a mob? Because I can only remember one mob in recent history, and I’m positive they weren’t Democrats. Democrats only use tiki torches to keep mosquitos away from their vegan barbecues. You guys are the ones who run the government like a protection racket. Republicans all look like they should be cracking their knuckles in a butcher shop telling the owner, ‘Nice place you got here, would be a shame if something happened to it.' _____ also told his supporters to knock the crap out of reporters and promised to pay their legal fees if they did. He’s an actual crime boss. Look at him. He sweats like he’s being dangled off the side of a roof by Batman.”

It’s fear. He’s running on fear.

I liked the guy who ran on hope a lot better.

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Don Lemon, on _____ telling a crowd at his Houston rally—that was supposed to be held for Ted Cruz—that he’s a “nationalist”:

“Wow. We’re gonna talk about that word tonight. It is a favorite of the alt-right and is loaded with nativist and racial undertones. And globalist. Well, globalist has been used as a slur of sorts, sometimes even against those in the administration, often with anti-semitic overtones. Which just happened to make the president come right out and embrace nationalism. Openly. And claim that mantle. What has happened here?”

What has happened, is that now _____ is openly embracing the rhetoric of Hitler, while trying to say he is not.

That is another of his lies.

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Frank Bruni, NYT columnist, on the same topic:

“Well the question is, is that a dog whistle? He’s a sloppy speaker. So when he says ‘nationalist,’ is he thinking of all those connotations ... or is he speaking sloppily? He’s saying things that aren’t true as well. He’s saying ‘globalist’ means you care more about the globe than the country. No, President _____. Globalist means you understand that our fate is entwined with the fates of other countries and that in fact a rising tide lifts all boats. That’s what globalist means to someone who’s being serious about it. He’s trying do the ‘America first’ thing and he’s trying to lend a new vocabulary to it. Now he’s brought in nationalist. And maybe it’s a dog whistle to races and such. Maybe he’s just speaking sloppily.”

Sloppy? He’s a liar and a traitor and a racist, homophobic, misogynistic pig.

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Andrew Gillum, on Ron DeSantis, his rival to be Florida’s next governor, and his ties to the gun lobby and his opposition to gun control:

“The congressman was against the piece of legislation because he is wholly owned by the NRA. He’s not gonna stand up to the National Rifle Association. That's why they’re running all these ads against me because they want the man that they bought.”

And if you aren’t scared about the gun lobby owning a politician, then you shouldn’t be worried about any lobby having a candidate in their pocket.

Gillum will stand up against the NRA.

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Dua Lipa, singer, on her LGBTQ activism, after Chinese fans were dragged from her concert in Shanghai for waving rainbow flags: 

“I believe in equality and everyone having the same opportunities and there being a lot more acceptance in the world. You know, being from London, sometimes you live in your little bubble where there’s so much diversity and so much acceptance and you don’t really realize that it’s not like that in every other part in the world, so you feel like because you’re given this platform, you have a duty to really speak up and speak out about the things that are important. I will stand by you all for your love and beliefs and I am proud and grateful that you felt safe enough to show your pride at my show. What you did takes a lot of bravery. I always want my music to bring strength, hope and unity. I was horrified by what happened and I send love to all my fans involved.”

Lipa says she will perform again in Shanghai “when the time is right and hopefully see a room full of rainbows.”

In 2018 they are dragging gay people away for being gay. Let that sink in.

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Kelly Clarkson, The Voice judge, upon learning that singing duo Adam and Jerome, AKA OneUp, are a real-life couple who fell in love after forming their duo.

 “In a time in this country when it is so divisive, this is such a beautiful thing. It is proof that in this country, love is limitless. It’s the most beautiful thing that has happened to me this season.”

Word.

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Lindsey Graham, on feeling used by the Saudi prince:

“I never felt more used in my life. I introduced him when he was in Washington. I find it impossible to believe that the crown prince was not involved, so go after him and his inner circle. Save the alliance. I don’t mind military sales but I cannot do business with the current leadership. MBS — he’s done to me.”

Probably not the first man to use Miss Lindsey.

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Masha Gessen, openly gay Russian-American journalist, author, activist and outspoken critic of Putin and _____, on the erasure of Trans Americans:

“You know, this is not just about transgender people, although it’s big enough about transgender people. But what Trump is doing essentially, he is redefining peoplehood. He’s redefining the nation. And in that sense, what he is doing with immigration, and what he is doing with reversing the gains on LGBT rights, but specifically transgender rights, is redefining humanhood. Who gets to be fully human. Who gets to have the full rights of citizenship — not transgender people, not immigrants, not many others.”

Just think of that Niemöller poem, and who they came for first, and how, when they finally come for you, they will be no one left to speak up.

Speak.Up.

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Joe Biden, former Vice President, on _____ embracing a strategy of fear ahead of the midterm elections:

“No president has ever led by fear. Not Lincoln. Not Roosevelt. Not Kennedy. Not Reagan. This president is more like George Wallace than George Washington! Democrats have to choose hope over fear, unity over division. We have to choose our allies over our enemies. We have to choose truth over lies.”

Run, Joe, run.

And people of America? Cast a goddamned vote to show _____ and the GOP that we will not sit while they destroy this country to line their own pockets with coins.

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