Why Is It ...

… that my idea of time management is hoping that the tomorrow-me is more responsible than the today-me.

… that it’s just me and my ‘I forgot and I don’t remember’ against the world.

… that you need to learn that if you call me and start talking to people in the background, I will hang up.

… that I ignore subtle hints so that maybe you’ll speak up and be direct like an adult.

… that there are three places you can stay for free and they are: in your own lane, out of my business, and over there.

… that today I am choosing kindness but, you know, it’s still early.

… that people need to know that I’m not friendly, but I am cool so you can speak to me but don’t keep talking to me.

… that I like to make sure everybody is as confused as possible when it comes to me.

… that I know I am not the only one who whispers ‘fuck off’ to myself about certain people at least twenty times a day.

… that I am only just now realizing that my spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Do We Move On? Can We? Should We?

This story has me kind of stymied, so let’s start at the beginning ...

Back on August 12, 2012, several people, including two high school football players, Trent Mays and Ma'lik Richmond, raped a 16-year-old girl in Steubenville, Ohio.

Shortly after midnight, the girl, heavily intoxicated, left a party with four football players and went to a second party where the victim vomited and appeared "out of it." The same group left that party and headed to another home. During the car ride, the victim’s shirt was removed and Trent Mays digitally penetrated the her vagina and exposed her breasts while his friends filmed and photographed her.

Once reaching the house, the players took the victim to the basement where Mays attempted to orally rape the victim by forcing his penis into her mouth. She was stripped naked and the second accused, Ma'lik Richmond, also digitally penetrated the victim's vagina while she was photographed. Three witnesses to the crime took those photos back to the second party and shared them with friends.

In the days following the rapes, Trent Mays tried to orchestrate a cover-up, telling a friend, 'Just say she came to your house and passed out,' and pleading with the victim not to press charges. But Ohio investigators confiscated and analyzed 15 cellphones and two tablets, collecting hundreds of text messages and photos and videos from dozens of students.

During the trial, the victim testified in court that she had no memory of the six-hour period in which the rapes occurred, except for a brief time in which she was vomiting on the street. She said she woke up the next morning naked in a basement with Mays, Richmond and another teenage boy, missing her underwear, flip-flops, phone and earrings.

The evidence presented in court consisted of hundreds of texts and cellphone pictures taken by more than a dozen people at the parties and afterwards traded with others and posted to Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.

On March 17, 2013, Trent Mays and Ma'lik Richmond were convicted of rape after the judge found they had used their fingers to digitally penetrate the victim's vagina and that it was impossible for the victim to have given consent. Ma'lik Richmond received a minimum sentence of one year for penetrating the girl while she was unconscious, while Trent Mays was given a minimum two year sentence for penetrating the girl while she was unconscious and disseminating pornographic pictures of her. Ma'lik Richmond was released from detention on January 5, 2014 and this story is about him ...

In 2016, Ma’lik Richmond transferred to Youngstown State and tried to resurrect his football career.  YSU head coach Bo Pelini knew about Richmond’s transfer, and met with him in person after YSU’s 2015 season ended. Richmond made the team as a walk-on, and was slated to appear for the Penguins until a student circulated a petition demanding that YSU prohibit Richmond from playing for the team. More than 10,000 people signed the petition, and YSU officials then announced that Ma’lik Richmond would be allowed to stay on the team for practices and other team activities, but would not be allowed to play for the Penguins during the 2016-2017 season.

Richmond—who says his transfer to football powerhouse Youngstown State had nothing to do with football—sued the school for denying him the opportunity to potentially advance his professional football career and this month his lawyers and the school reached a settlement that will reinstate Ma’lik Richmond to the team.

“What is most important is that Ma’lik moves on. This is a case about Ma’lik being given all the opportunities afforded a student of good standing.”—Susan Stone, Richmond’s attorney

But what about ethics? Most colleges and universities hold their student athletes to higher levels of accountability than typical students; breaking even the smallest of team rules can result in disciplinary action, up to and including dismissal from the team. And while college athletics departments have a spotty track record for handling instances of sexual assault, players have been cut from rosters all the time for getting into legal trouble. But what about the legal trouble that occurs before the student joins a team?

During court hearings, Richmond’s legal team argued that YSU had “hurt [his] football career prospects by curtailing his exposure to professional scouts at the peak of his abilities,” and that the university was “contractually obligated” to let Richmond play; this claim is absurd because no college athlete, anywhere, any time, is guaranteed a spot on a team’s roster. Still, Richmond won his case and will be allowed to play on the team, so here’s the question: when do we forgive, if that’s even the right word, and move on?

While many, myself included, think Richmond’s sentence for rape was far too light, it was the sentence given to him, and he served it. And so, do we continue to punish him for the rest of his life for a crime, albeit a sexual assault, he committed as a teenager? When do we move on? Do we move on?

I lean toward ‘Yes.’ Richmond did the crime, he did his time, he paid his debt, hoewever light that might have been; but then I think about the victim. She’ll carry this with her forever, and then, perhaps, one day she might absentmindedly be clicking though the channels on her TV and come across a professional football game and see one of her rapists playing, being celebrated for his athleticism, and making, no doubt, quite a good living off the sport.

And I lean toward ‘No.’ Have we done her a disservice? Have we once again subjected her to more victimization?

I want to think we could, and this isn’t the right word, forgive, the crime of a teenager and let him, or her, live their lives as they choose, but then I think about the life-long emotional scars on that victim and wonder if we should ever, in any way shape or form, forgive a convicted convicted rapist.

Like I said, I’m stymied. Do we continue, for the rest of his life, to punish Ma'lik Richmond for his crime and deny him the right to earn a living doing what he loves? Or, do we stand with the victim, for always, and tell this young man that all he is, and all he will ever be is a convicted rapist?

What do you think?

Random Musings

The Duggars, in the midst of a child molestation scandal, and a probe by Child Protective Services, and the loss of the TV gig because they aid and abet child molesters, are still hoping to return to TV because they believe it is “God's plan for them.”

Funny, I think God’s plan is for them to be outed as the hypocritical, holier-than-thou, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals that they are.

But that’s just me.

We are undergoing some new hours and restructuring at work, so my schedule this week has been a confusing mess; days when I should be in, I’m out, and times I should be out, I’m in. I woke up this morning and told Carlos I was glad it was the weekend and he said …

“It’s Thursday.”

I wept.

Funny, cuz it’s true, but the Huffington Post has announced that, while they will continue to cover Donald [t]Rump’s soon-to-implode, presidential bid, they will no longer do so on the legitimate news pages, but will relegate him to the site's entertainment section.

"Our reason is simple: Trump's campaign is a sideshow. We won't take the bait. If you are interested in what The Donald has to say, you'll find it next to our stories on the Kardashians and The Bachelorette."—Washington bureau chief Ryan Grim and editorial director Danny Shea

And so naturally, [t]Rump responded in truly presidential fashion by writing his own article with an emphasis on words like ‘loser’ and ‘not as rich as me’ and, well, you get the idea.

Petulant child throwing a fit.

John Kasich, former governor of  Ohio, has become the 16th GOP candidate for the presidential nomination. A lot of folks like him because he’s called a bit more centrist than the way-to-the-right leaning others in the GOP Clown Car, but here’s my issue with Kasich.

During an interview, he mentioned how much fun he likes to have while serving in politics and I don ‘t want my president thinking about fun; I wanting his thinking about whirled peas, and world peace, and global warming, and the economy and the incredibly expanding middle and lower classes and the way most politicians worry only about the One Per Cent.

Also, Kasich said he wanted to be the candidate for the poor, for the Black voter, and for the Brown voter; all those folks who’ve been disenfranchised and ignored by the right.

He said not a word about the LGBT community.

Luckily he doesn’t have a chance at being president.

Now, go have fun.

So, they’ve cancelled my Hannibal, one of the most beautifully photographed, scored and acted shows on television.

Yeah, I’m not happy. But then we had the return of The Strain — not as beautiful, but still gripping except … they’ve changed the way the vampires look and act and die from the last season with no explanation,. Now, some of them scurry like little crabs for no reason whatsoever and when they are killed they appear to shatter into thousands of pieces … again for no reason.

Cut to me erasing the series from my DVR. Buh bye.

Marc Lamont Hill. Hot. Smart. Hot. That’s all I got, but every so often you can find him on CNN being hot and smart and hot.

And don't even try to talk to me when MLH is on with my Husband-In-My-Head, Randy Andy Cooper!

Pat Robertson. Yeah, he’s a loon, but every so often his lunacy is funny.

Like this week when he said the Supreme Courts Obergefell decision legalizing same-sex marriage will lead to “love affairs” between men and animals.

Yes, it’s an old chestnut, but my question is: why it gotta be just men doin’ the nasty with the animals? Aren’t they any lesbians into bestiality?

Just sayin’.

Carlos and I are working on a gardening project along the front walk to the house. It used to be lined with hedges that require a lot of work, pruning and trimming, and, well, a lot of sun, which they don’t get in that space.

So, I sat down and came up with an idea on how to make the walkway nicer, and without nearly as much maintenance required to keep it up.

I told Carlos; I took him outside and walked him through the three phases of my plan — yes, three phases; I took him inside and sketched out a plan, showing him where we would use some cobblestones, some native drought resistant grasses, a few pots for his rose bushes, and some mulch … with the idea, maybe, of adding a trellis and a climbing rose bush near the garage.

Last Sunday we began the project — Phase One — along the front porch, and got most of it done, until Carlos, cooling off in the house, said we should try this other way.

Really? I created; I planned; I sketched; I walked you through it … literally. We bought the cobblestones, we bought the pots, we bought the mulch and the grasses and now you are rethinking?

Lord, I love that man but sometimes ….

Last weekend, here in Columbia, South Carolina we had a KKK rally in support of the Confederate flag … and the best part was that the rally occurred a week after the flag was removed.

And there were pictures of white supremacists screaming at people, and people screaming back; there was video of a sousaphone player following the march and giving it some much needed musical comedy relief.

But the picture that stands out most of all is that one up there … a black police officer, Leroy Smith, assisting a man … a white supremacist … in a t-shirt bearing a swastika … who was overcome by the heat … into the shade and giving him water.

Those are the kinds of images of police officers we need to see.

Kudos to Officer Smith for helping a man who literally hates him out of the sun and into the shade.