Why Is It ...

… that I just realized that run spelled backwards is nur … and it’s a nur from me?

… that one of my toxic traits is assuming that people have common sense and then getting mad when they don’t.

… that most people don’t like it when I give away free samples of my attitude?

… that instead of cleaning the house, I turn on an episode of Hoarders and think, ‘Well, my house looks pretty good.’

… that people don’t understand that I don’t actually curse … I ‘m simply fluent in Trucker, with a Sailor dialect and a Construction accent.

… that it only takes one slowing walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I’m a nice person?

… that when people say they like my personality, I say, ‘Thanks, I have six more.’

… that I love having a best friend that, when people see us together, say, ‘Oh my god, there’s two of them.’

… that I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t drink coffee and say ‘Fuck’ a lot.

Bobservations

A couple of years after buying this house, we had it painted but, for some reason, we never had the “barn”—folks around here say barn, we say shed—painted. Recently Carlos began giving English lessons to a Hispanic couple in kind of a bartered deal; lessons for painting the shed.

This week the barn shed went red, and it looks, I know, like a little barn. Carlos also wanted the interior painted white so he could see better when he went in there and we cleaned everything out.  But before putting things back, I suggested we thin that shed herd a bit and began separating things into piles of Keep, Toss, Donate.

There was an old fireplace screen we removed from the house. Habitat for Humanity. Check. Old boxes. Trash. Garden tools? Keep. A small tabletop charcoal grill. He says keep; I say donate. But, he says, we use that, and I say …

“Tell me one time in the last twenty years we used it, and remember, we don’t have charcoal or lighter fluid or anything for it.”

I think in Miami I cooked chicken on it once.”

So, sometime, over fourteen-and-a-half years ago, you slapped a chicken on the grill and you think we still need it?”

“It can go.”

This hoarding sense of his explains the cluster of 80s silk shirts in the back of the closet that he doesn’t wear but needs to keep … just in case.

PS She's kina purty now, isn't she?

Tuxedo never went to school, and so he doesn’t know from mathematics, but even he can see how this seems all kinds of wrong!

Last weekend the San Francisco Giants became the very first Major League Baseball team to incorporate LGBTQ+ Pride colors into their on-field uniforms.

In honor of Pride month, players will sport an SF logo Pride Patch on the right sleeve of their home jersey as well as a custom cap with the 11 colors of the Progress Pride Flag, which incorporates black, brown and the transgender pride flag colors with the original six rainbow stripes.

Bravo!

Why don’t these anti-choice politicians and states just use “thoughts and prayers” to stop abortions. I mean, that’s what they do when people murder actual live children in schools.

Just a thought.

The twice-impeached, one-term loser’s blog, where he shared his thought [singular] after larger social media companies banned him from their platforms, has been permanently shut down.

His people made some excuse about it being planned to shut it down, but it had only been a month and was getting less traffic than my little bloggy thing here.

Sorry not sorry.

JP Morgan Chase & Co will resume making political donations to U.S. lawmakers … but not to any Republicans who voted to overturn President Biden’s election victory.

Good. Hit ‘em in the only real place their care about, their wallets.

In other Thing #45 news, he is set to do a series of rallies around the country will fellow sexual assaulter Bill O’Reilly that I have dubbed Sexual Predator-a-Palooza.

And I hear Matt Gaetz is going to open for them.

This week, during a House Natural Resources hearing, Texas Representative Louie Loonie Gohmert asked if the Forest Service or the BLM [Bureau of Land Management] can alter the orbit of the moon or the Earth in order to fight climate change.

Gohmert represents 725,000 Americans, just so you know.

Alex Sewall is a 30-year-old model from Chicago, and a former football player at Indiana State University, who played for a brief time in arena football before beginning a modeling career.

Alex also is very smart, noting that his ass … and it’s real and it’s spectacular is “is usually the thing that gets the most comments and compliments” and he has no problems showing skin.

He seems to love his country, he seems to love music, and he appears to like the sports ball things. Plus, any man that can pull off a hat, after pulling off everything else, is all right in my book.

That’s all.

Bobservations

Y’all know Carlos has vision and hearing issues, right? Well, the other day, we were running errands and taking our recyclables and such to the Recycling Center. We loaded up the car and, as usual, got Ozzo to come along for the ride. But Ozzo, roughly 16 or 17 years old, has become a little hard of hearing, and having his own vision issues and it's a whole thing to get him into the car. As we drove to the recycling center, I told Carlos that Ozzo was definitely his dog because they are so much alike, and that’s when I realized I had a new name for Carlos:

“Carlozzo.”

He was not amused.

Tuxedo doesn’t wanna tell y’all how to vote, but he does think you’ve been getting it wrong for years.

The Italian release of the Oscar-winning thriller Promising Young Woman has been after the Italian-language version of the film used a male voice actor Roberto Pedicini to dub the role of Gail played by trans actor Laverne Cox.

In 2021, someone thought a trans female should be dubbed by a man.

The march goes on …

So, we had the pipeline hack last week and gas shortages all over the South with people waiting in line forever just to fill up, and hoard up. I only work away from home three days a week and my roundtrip commute is 6 miles, so I has plenty of gas and wasn’t worried.

But a co-worker said she had filled up her car and bought three extra-large gas cans and filled those up, too, because, as she said, “You never know.” I smiled at her little dimwitted face and asked:

“You’re still sitting on over a hundred rolls of toilet paper from last spring, aren’t you?”

Judging from the look on her face, I was right.

Joel Osteen was on the Today show saying:

“Don’t focus on what you have or don’t have.”

This from a man who owns a mansion, Ferrari, and a jet, and who took a $4.4 million federal PPP loan. This from a man of God who had to be shamed into opening his church after a hurricane for the people who were displaced from their homes. This from a  man whose net worth is estimated at $100M.

Perhaps Joel focuses too much on what he has.

The other day Carlozzo—gosh, that makes me smile—and I drove out to Costco for our Every-Five-Weeks-Shopping trip. We get out there early to avoid the crowds and the morons, but, apparently, at least one moron had the same idea.

I was standing in the meat section, looking at the pork tenderloin. We usually buy a large one and cut it into pork chops ourselves and save a couple of bucks. While looking, a woman came right up to me, right up on me, and reached in front and around me to grab a tenderloin. I backed up and gave her a look and then she inched onto me, which, sorry, I couldn’t help myself:

“Excuse me? Am I invisible?”

She gave me a look like she had no idea what I meant. Cut to Carlozzo and I headed to the checkout, and as we near a checker, I hear a voice alongside me, saying:

“I’ll just slip in ahead of you because I have just a few things.”

I turned. It was the moron. I said:

“No, thanks, I’m already here.”

She looked at me. Something clicked in her pea brain. She remembered. I felt better.

Alabama lawmakers ended their legislative session without a vote on one of the most controversial bills before them: a measure to outlaw gender-affirming medical treatments for transgender minors.

Now, before you go all ‘Woo hoo Alabama,’ let me tell you that the bill died because it was placed at the end of a debate agenda and lawmakers were tired and ready to go home.

It wasn’t the idea that the law would have been hateful and hate-filled, it’s because politicians are lazy and hungry in Alabama.

If you still don’t believe the GOP is terrified of Thing #45, howsabout this: he has ordered … ordered … the GOP to resist setting up a 9/11-style bipartisan commission to investigate the MAGAt riot at the Capitol in January.

Imagine the outrage from the right if, once out of office, Obama had given the Democrats an order. That says volumes about the complicit GOP and what they’re willing to do to this country for a con man.

Fuck.Them.All.

This is Hugo Soriano Tudela, a model from Spain. That’s all I know about him, and that’s really all I need, know what I mean?

Tuesday Thought #1

Tuesday Thought #2

The Funny Papers

Bill Day, David Horsey, Michael de Adder, John Deering, RJ Matson, Terry Mosher AKA Aislin, Darrin Bell, Drew Sheneman, Tom Stiglich, Nick Anderson, Gary Varvel, Mike Thompson, Jack Ohman, Clay Bennett, Adam Zyglis

Tuesday Thought #1