Why Is It ...

… that when my boss told me he was going to make a swear jar just for me I said I don’t have the kind of income to keep up with my mouth.

… that people around people who don’t swear makes me feel like I am in an unsafe environment.

… that what some people call multitasking, I call doing something else until I remember what I was going to do in the first place.

… that I am not actually funny, I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

… that people need to know that while I cannot change water into wine, I can turn tequila into bad decisions and total fucking mayhem.

… that I giggle before I go crazy because I gotta rev that engine.

… that I may not be the best looking, or the smartest, but I am am also not the nicest so please stop talking to me.

… that y’all don’t realize that I need a leaf blower … for people.

… that no one realizes that South Carolina has Winter, then Fake Spring, and then Spring, and when you’re in Fake Spring you must remember that Winter is just around the corner with a folding chair.

Like A Mean Girl, _____ Tweets Before He Thinks ... I Kid ... He Doesn't Think

I was thinking that if _____ becomes president ::: shiver ::: it’d be like having a mean girl in the Oval; you know, one of those girls who bashes other people without having all, or any, of the facts.

Almost as soon as Hillary Clinton announced Tim Kaine as her running mate, GOP Homecoming Queen Donald _____ took to Twitter to blast Kaine for his support of the Trans-Pacific Partnership [TPP]:

Donald _____ has made his opposition to TPP a central platform in his efforts to promote his Make America Great Again and pander to progressive Bernie Sanders supporters.

But before trolling Tim Kaine on Twitter, [_____ might have taken a nanosecond to study up on his running mate, Mike Pence, and his support for [TPP]:

And, in addition to a 140 character or less message on the greatness of TPP, Mike Pence also wrote a letter:

“As you know, my administration has made job growth job number one. We passed the largest state tax cut in Indiana history, lowered the corporate income tax, reduced the regulatory burden, and have taken numerous other measures to improve the business environment and the education and workforce skills of Hoosiers.

Those are things we can do at home, but reducing tariffs and other trade barriers so that Indiana businesses can enjoy increased market access and fairly compete on the world stage is something that Congress must do. I encourage your support for Trade Promotion Authority, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, the Trans-Atlantic Trade and Investment Partnership and any other trade-related measures when they are brought before the Congress for consideration.”

So, while _____  blasts Kaine for his support of TPP — and to be clear, Tim Kaine has now says he cannot not support TPP in its current form — he missed the part where his own Veep choice not only liked the idea, but begged people to support it.

I go back to one of the multitudes if times that _____ has said something idiotic on Twitter because he cannot be bothered with research or facts, and Hillary Clinton Tweeted:

“Delete your account.”

Sadly, Mean Girls and Donald [t]Rump don’t realize you’re talking to them.

If You Only News

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Dear Nikki Haley: Grow The F**k Up

Nikki Haley is supposedly one of the GOP's bright, shiny stars--she's even been given a chance to speak at the RNC this week--but there are many of us in South Carolina who find this questionable. See, Nikki is just the kind of politician the GOP--in the wake of Todd Akin's idiocy--should avoid. She's a tyrant and a bully, and, well, a liar; if she doesn't get her way, she foot stomps and pouts and cries foul.

She's.....she's.....she's Mittsy, in a dress.

After the Mark "Hiking The Appalachian Trail So I Can Schtup My Mistress In Rio" Sanford debacle, Nikki Haley ran for Guv'nah of South Carolina on a platform of transparency. We would never question her, she said; her office would be open, she said.

She lied. And when people question her lies, Nikki gets pissy. Again, like Mittsy.

A week or so ago, Governor Nikki Haley and Attorney General Alan Wilson unveiled a package of ethics reform proposals at a news conference in Charleston. The first reporter to speak after the governor opened up the floor to questions was The State's Gina Smith and as she finished her question, Haley shot back, "Gina, I am not going to answer any of your questions," before moving on to other reporters in the room.

Wow. Why so harsh Nikki? Well, as with most high school mean girls, and Nikki surely has the demeanor of a mean girl, she took to Facebook to respond to why she refused to answer any questions by Smith:

"In response to my refusal to answer Gina Smith's question today; she is the same report that 1) wrote a Front Page, Above the Fold story about me being indicted, with no truth what so ever. 2) She went on to write a story about my 14 year old daughter without having the facts, against the urging of SLED Chief Keel that said it was unprecedented to write about a governor's child knowing the safety concerns. Respect is a two way street."

Um, Nikki, you're a public official, dear, and reporters write the stories the public needs to hear. There was an indictment, though it was never handed down, but it was a story. As for the story about your child, she didn't write about your child, she wrote about you using your influence as governor, to get your child a job.

Take it slow Nikki. You get yourself all riled up. See, this isn't the first time Haley has clashed with a reporter in public. Back in 2011, Haley referred to Renee Dudley, a Post and Courier reporter, as a "little girl" during a radio interview. The comment was in response to Dudley's reporting on expenses incurred during a European trip by Haley and other state officials.

Haley later said she regretted her choice of words.

Well, that makes me wonder, why act like a little girl yourself, Nikki, and refuse to answer a reporters’ questions because you don't like what they've said about you in the past. Why not rise above and answer a question? Because, like Mittsy, and most of the GOP, you don't feel any need to respond to questions that are too hard, or too deep.

So, so transparent.