I Ain'tOne To Gossip But ...

There are some who say Drew Barrymore is Hollywood royalty … her great aunt was Oscar-winner Ethel Barrymore and her grandfather was John Barrymore, one of the most influential stage actors of the 20th century. And Drew has had her own share of fame and infamy in her career, but this isn’t about her, though it is about a story of her family that she says is true.

Legend has it that Errol Flynn, W.C. Fields, and poet Sadakichi Hartman––all of whom were John’s friends––stole John Barrymore’s corpse from the morgue after his death in 1942, and took the body back to have one last weekly poker game together. And Drew confirmed the rumor—though Errol told the story eons ago in his memoir—saying:

‘Yes, they did! And I will say this, I hope my friends do the same for me. That is the kind of spirit I can get behind. Just prop the old bag up and have a last few rounds.”

As long as she’s paying ….

photo

Even though she was sentenced to two months in jail—her husband Mossimo Giannulli got five months—cheating mom and One-Percenter Lori Loughlin still thinks she did nothing wrong and has circled her friends who also think she was just being a good mom.

Still, after learning news of her fate, via ZoomSentencing™ from Judge Nathaniel Gordon, sources say Lori still believes that she’s the one who was played:

“Lori would never enter into criminal activity knowingly. She really believed that they were making legit donations, especially since USC took the money.”

Lori blames on Rick Singer, the ALLEGED mastermind behind the scam. She says he came highly recommended to them, and they believed that his organization was legitimate.

The man said, “Gimme $500K, take some fake pictures of your daughters on rowing machines so we can claim they’re athletes,” and she thought he was legit?

Aunt Becky, you’re an idiot.

photo

Old, old Real Housewives of New Jersey hot mess Danielle Staub clearly doesn’t wish to ever come back to the show because why else go after the Queen of Bravo, Andy Cohen? And his little boy?

Danielle has crawled from the Jersey Ooze to tell the world that Andy is setting a bad example for his son, Benjamin, by being a … wait for it, she really goes in … a drug using sex fiend who cruises Grindr for up to four hookups every night:

“Is Andy ready for his son to know who he is? Because the Andy I know would hit up Grindr and go on three or four Grindr dates an evening.”

And then she goes in on the drugs—Andy is a self-professed pot head, which, you know, is legal—but Danielle claims to ‘know’ people who know about Andy and drugs:

“And these are people who are pretty reputable sources. I just don’t … I don’t even want to talk about the drugs and the partying, not now anyway, but we can get back to that … and I’m not talking about marijuana … I’m talking about, like, things I’ve been accused of doing and he allowed [that] to happen while he was doing the same thing that he was accusing me of, or allowing other people to accuse me of …”

So, Andy likes to party and do drugs and get dick. That sounds an awful lot like Staub, who was arrested for prostitution, ALLEGEDLY has ties to the mob, and has been engaged twenty-two times.

Take a seat, Karen.

photo

Thirteen years ago, in 2007, after releasing her daughter Kim’s porn tape for some coins, That Woman went along on a photo shoot as Kim Kardastrophe posed for Playboy … cuz that’s what porn stars do … porn to Playboy. And while Kim arched her back and thrust her surgically enhanced boobs and ass for the cameras, That Woman crowed:

“You’re doing amazing, sweetie.”

Cut to 2020 and That Woman now wants to trademark the phrase so she can make coins if it’s ever used.

Seriously. Well, I guess I must trademark the phrase:

“Mama made me a porn star, sold me off into marriage three times, watched as my lunatic husband has yearly melt downs, and uses it all to pad her bank account.”

Might be wordy, but if I make a couple of bucks ….

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip, But ...

Emily Ratajkowski has bad taste is men, both professionally, and personally. I mean, she was in the same room, and on camera no less, with slimy Robin Thicke, in the Skinemax video for ‘Blurred Lines’ and she has a husband who’s a self-entitled scumbag tool.

Emily is being threatened with eviction from her Manhattan loft because her millionaire husband, filmmaker Sebastian Bear-McClard, doesn’t think he should have to pay rent like everybody else.

It seems  Sebastian has been subletting an apartment in NoHo since 2013 but when that lease expired two years ago, he began using a legal loophole meant as an excuse for not paying a dime in rent since then. Yes, millionaire can’t pay the rent!

Bear-McClard, who’s worth an estimated $12 million, has stiffed the landlord out of $120,000 a month since 2017, claiming protection under the state’s Loft Law, a 1982 state law that was enacted to protect “artists and other low-income tenants” who “lived illegally in commercial loft spaces” against eviction.

And since the millionaire’s loft doesn’t currently have a “certificate of occupancy” it falls under this protection and so the millionaire, who claims he an artiste, says he doesn’t have to pay rent.

A millionaire.

photo

Last week we talked Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Danielle Staub, whose divorce from fourth husband, and 21st fiancé, was being finalized so she could marry fifth husband and 22nd fiancé Oliver Maier.

Oops, not so fast; the loving couple, who’ve been together about eight weeks, have decided to split.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that Oliver was originally reported to be the Duke of Provence, but news outlets learned this week that this title that does not actually exist.

Oh, so Danielle couldn’t be a Duchess, so she’ll just stick with “prostitution whore”.

photo

If this doesn’t count as cruel and unusual planet, for the entire planet, I don’t know what does.

Kanye’s contract with EMI says he is legally bound to keep coming out with new material for the rest of his life. Damn, a lifetime of work? Who cares about climate change, Kanye’s gonna be recording forever!

Unless he wins the lawsuit he filed using the Olivia de Havilland argument … not the one about Ryan Murphy making her look bad on TV, but the one that freed her from Warner Bros. in the 1940s after they kept extending her contract after she refused to take on roles. Olivia made it where work contracts in California are limited to just seven years.

Using that argument, Kanye says his EMI time was up in 2010 and he wants the rights to all the music he made since then because, per the Olivia law, those tracks may not necessarily be EMI’s.

Of note, is that Kanye married Kim Kardastrophe in 2014, so right about 2021, he’ll probably sue to get out of that contract, too.

But, until then I’ll think of him as Kanye de Haviland.

photo

Khloé Kardastrophe has decided to talk about her cheating Baby Daddy because, well, she has a TV show to promote. And That Woman will sell anything, porn videos, the souls of the unborn, her children’s privacy, to make a few coins.

And so Khloé picked up the phone to vent to her BFF—and by BFF, I mean the media—and told People magazine:

“This has been an awful week and I know everyone is sick of hearing about it all, as am I. I’m a rollercoaster of emotions and have said things I shouldn’t have. Honestly, Tristan cheating on me and humiliating me, wasn’t such a shock as the first time.”

I wonder if Khloé thinks it might have been a shock for Tristan’s other Baby Mama when he cheated on her with Khloé; but that girl doesn’t have a TV show so …

Take a seat, Khloé, you’re not new and you’re not special.

photo

Gwyneth Paltrow is back to remind all of us again that she has created everything, and we wouldn’t like anything at all if she didn’t like it, or :::cough::: invent it, herself. Remember, Paltrow ALLEGED she invented yoga cuz, you know, she’s that old. But now she’s talking more PaltrowShiz™ again … like how she can see  into the future:

“When we talk about something that is incendiary, I always see in six months other people starting to write about it, and 18 months later, businesses popping up around it. It’s always confirmation to me that we’re on the right track. I mean, when I did my gluten-free cookbook in 2015, the press was super negative and there were personal attacks about what I was feeding my children and what kind of mother I am. Now the gluten-free market is huge.”

Yes, she invented gluten-free, and now everyone’s doing it! But wait, there’s more … howsabout the “conscious uncoupling”:

“People were like, ‘This is insane, you’re crazy.’ And now it’s sort of talked about as a thing that people think might be possible for them.”

Um, Gwyneth, you sanctimonious prig; people have been consciously uncoupling for eons, but they just called it getting along for the sake of the children. You slap a label on something and suddenly it’s a Gwyneth Paltrow Production.

But now Gwyneth wants you to know that psychedelic drugs are the next big thing:

“I think how psychedelics affect health and mental health and addiction will come more into the mainstream.”

Seriously? And when will she invent them?

Sidenote: and this has nothing to do with Gwyneth becoming an LSD dealer, but her new mouthful of shiz spewed forth right about the same time that Martha Stewart announced she was getting into the weed business.

Martha does weed, so GOOP sells drugs.

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I don’t watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey because they’re the garbage bag of trash in the franchise, even lower than the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

That said, I did see that epic table flip by Teresa ‘Mob Wife With a Two head Instead of a Forehead’ Giudice in season one where she screeched at her enemy, now BFF, Danielle Staub:

“Prostitution whor-ah! You were fucking engaged, 19 times? You’re a fucking bitch!” 

Now they gotta rewrite the line, because Staub, who married the 20th man to propose to her last year, and then divorced him about ten minutes after the ceremony, is engaged now for the 21st time and set to marry husband #5.

Just one week after her seven-week marriage—for the love of god, Kim Kardastrophe was married longer than that once—to Marty Caffrey officially ended, Danielle said “Yassssss” to an ALLEGED rich man—hence the enthusiastic YASSSSSS—named Olivier Maier.

Maier is also the Duke of Provence so when they marry, she will be the Duchess, and when the divorce she’ll be on the hunt for fiancée 22 and marriage #5.

Set your watches for this train wreck; the wedding is next week.

photo

Now, y’all know when one Kardastrophe does something, and then gets a Special Episode of that show, then sooner or later another comes along singing the same song.

Cue the least talented member of that untalented Klan, Kylie Jenner, whose BFF Jordyn Woods, was the one who slept with Khloe’s Baby Daddy and serial cheater, Tristan Thompson, who is next  in line for the next cheating scandal.

Yep, even though Kylie Jenner is already in the center of Khloe and Jordyn’s drama, the family has decided to rachet up the messiness by ALLEGING that Kylie’s boyfriend and Baby Daddy Travis Scott is a cheater, too.

On Wednesday Travis wanted to surprise Kylie and their 1-year-old daughter Stormi by coming to LA to spend some time with them. But as soon as Travis arrived, Kylie discovered “evidence” that led her to believe he’s a cheater just like Khloe’s ex Tristan Thompson and … roll cameras!

Their heated argument lasted a couple of days, apparently, so long that Travis was forced to cancel a show because he was, ahem, “under the weather” AKA “under the thumb” of That Woman who probably had the fight filmed for TV.

Oooh, I smell a spin-off, especially since Kylie’s only talent is bad choices in men and not understanding contraception.

photo

Last year, Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in a lovely royal wedding at Windsor Castle surrounded by lots of her friends, including Priyanka Chopra. And Priyanka rode that BFF With Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Sussex for all it was worth, but maybe she rode it too hard?

It seems that when Priyanka suddenly became engaged to Nick Jonas and they went on to have … I think … five weddings and a dozen or so receptions around the world, Meghan didn’t attend once single event. And then, when Meghan came to New York two weeks ago for a baby shower with her best girlfriends, Priyanka was a no-show.

Now, she was invited, but declined to attend because she was, ahem, “working,” which might be code for ‘You didn’t come to my wedding, er, weddings, with all your paparazzi and media attention, so I can’t come to your party.’

And so now we’re told that Priyanka is mad at Meghan and skipped Meg’s baby shower on purpose, suing the “bogged down in LA with meetings about a book she is writing” excuse.

Oh Priyanka, you never snub a royal, because now you just might permanently be scrubbed off Meghan’s Friend’s List and you and Nick will never get to post selfies from Inside Buckingham Palace.

And we all know how thirsty you are for that.

photo

Oh Mel B. I guess your sex, drugs, and ménage à trois rehab is over and now you need a new way to keep your name in the news.

It seems Mel appeared on Good Morning Britain with Piers Morgan and said the Lady Gaga Bradley Cooper performance of ‘Shallow’ on the Oscars, made her feel “uncomfortable”. I mean, in Mel B’s world, drug and drink parties with threesomes with the nanny are fine, but Gaga and Bradley crooning into the same microphone is just icky?

Mel and Piers turned into a couple of gossipy hens on the show:; she said: 

“See, I felt so uncomfortable for Bradley’s girlfriend, oh my gosh.”

And he said: 

"It was the look of love, wasn’t it?”

And she added: 

“It really was and that’s the whole gossip. That’s the whole thing. But I would like to think it was part of the whole performance, because there’s a women’s code and hopefully that’s not … hopefully it’s only professional.”

Seriously, the woman who paid a nanny to watch her kids and schtup her husband , and then join  the two of them in bed, thinks that song performance was bad?

Oh Mel, like Priyanka, you are thirsty for press. Maybe it’s time for a relapse.

photo

Rumor has it that Johnny Depp is broke…because of divorces, bad investments and living like he’s a king when he’s not. So, that may explain this …

It appears that Depp has filed a $500 million lawsuit against his ex-wife Amber Heard, claiming that her claims of domestic abuse were “an elaborate hoax to generate positive publicity” for herself …because saying publicly that your husband gets rip roaring drunk and beats the crap out of you is a career move … in Johnny Depp’s head.

But there’s more; Johnny also claims that Amber began an affair with Elon Musk a month after they were married, and that Elon was at their house, creeping in and out of the penthouse elevator, the night he and Amber got into a fight over a postnuptial agreement. Johnny says that fight led to Amber throwing a vodka bottle at him, which resulted in him having to have his finger “surgically reattached”.

Yes, Johnny wants to reopen his divorce case because he doesn’t like the way it ended, and he’s giving all sorts of new lies details about it. But it's cuz he’s broke and needs the coins and only $500 million will do. 

Until it gets tossed out of court and he comes back next year to claim Amber cheated with ET in a Tesla sent into space and he wants $500 billion.

photo

Show of hands … who’s surprised by this one …

Kailah Casillas, a now former Lohan Beach Club “ambassador”—code for call girl, maybe—was recently fired from her post for giving Lindsay some sass while the “staff”—code for call girls—were  being lectured to by Lindsay about tidiness.

Show of hands? Who thinks Lindsay Lohan, one of the hottest messes in all the land knows shiz about tidiness? Anyway, after Casillas was fired, on air because, you know, drama, she lashed out at Lohan by shrieking:

“Continue doing all the drugs you do, Lindsay.”

On the show, Lohan brushed off Casillas’ comments, claiming the reality star was just throwing her past in her face, while at the same time she brushed off her nose …ALLEGEDLY … but Casillas is now saying she witnessed a lot of “uncomfortable” and “awkward” behavior from Lohan since day one:

“It kind of slipped. I can’t say that I saw anything, because I’m really not trying to get myself in trouble, but I can say that from my own personal opinion, I do not think that she was sober whatsoever.”

Ah, so there you have it, she wants to claim Lindsay’s still doing drugs while saying she’s never seen it, and has no proof, but because she’s a reformed druggie she knows the signs.

Sounds like Lindsay hired a bunch of Lohan clones for her, um, “reality” show. Maybe they’ll start a gang and steal jewelry from high end boutiques like their boss.

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip, But......

Wow, am I shocked.
Charlie Sheen's, um, yeah, 'tour' is a bit of a bomb.

Opening night in Detroit saw a sold-out crowd of more than 4,500 packed into the Fox Theater, dying to see the trainwreck perform, um, live. But from all reports, it was a thoroughly disastrous night for the "warlock."
Some audience members, obviously the ones who've been screaming at their TV sets during Charlie's wackadoo interviews, began the show by heckling the warm-up guy. It got so ugly, in fact, that someone woke Charlie from a drug-induced coma and shoved him onstage and reprimand the crowd--to no avail.
The comic was booed off the stage, and house lights soon came up, causing the impatient masses to grow even more restless, as they waited for the Sheen Show to start.
And, finally, when the headliner launched into his first 'Violent Torpedo of Truth' performances--more than an hour after the disjointed show first started--the ovation turned to boos and jeers and walkouts.
Quelle surprise!
Many in the crowd demanded their money back--and let me say this, if you paid money to see Charlie Sheen....Charlie Effin' Sheen...and felt taken, too bad--but were denied.
But many of those demanding s refund might have wanted the money to spend on souvenirs, and by souvenirs,m I don't mean bricks of cocaine; those all go directly to Sheen. But you could buy t-shirts emblazoned with Charlie-isms like "F---ing Brilliant!" and "I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen".
And me, nowhere near Detroit. Boo-freaking-hoo.
The, um, 'show,' such as it was featured scores of video clips, including fan tributes from YouTube, violent film excerpts and one of Sheen just playing Call of Duty. As the crowds began to rant and rave about the horrid performance, Sheen told them, "I've already got your money!"
And sent it straight up his nose.
Other Charlie-isms, for which Detroitians paid $45:
"Tonight is an experiment"
"I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you"
"Show of hands here who has tried crack? :::crickets::: I don't do crack anymore, but this is a good f---ing night to do some crack"
Is anybody else as confused by this s--t as I am? I wrote every word!"
OMG He is high-larious. See what i did there? High...........larious?


And speaking of trainwrecks, wannabes, and whores.

Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, and Danielle Staub are apparently starring in their own reality show. Or, maybe because they're all famewhores they just gathered togetherher and paid people to film them.
Montag, best known for using plastic surgery to transform herself from a pretty young girl into an inflatable sex doll with the IQ of a bar of soap, sat alongside Pavelka, who is best known for speed dating through twenty-six women and falling in love with one and then proposing and then breaking it off and then calling her all sorts of evil names on TV.
He's.A.Keeper.
Not far behind was former Real Housewives of New Jersey's very own Danielle Staub, AKA prostitution whore, drug mule, and star of her own poorly selling sex tape.
Heidi, Jake and Danielle.
Definitely Must-Not-See TV.

And, now for some good gay news.

Newly out, and still enjoying her Coming Out tool-belt and Home Depot gift card, country singer Chely Wright is engaged.
Her fiancée, Lauren Blitzer, a LGBT Civil Rights activist, and Chely have set a date and plan to be married this summer in Connecticut, where equality lives for all people, not just the heterosexual kind.
It seems that Chely and Lauren met through LGBT youth advocacy work, and realized they both have a love for, um, Scrabble?
Scrabble. Is that some sort of Lesbian sex game? Just asking.
Chely Wright, who once considered suicide rather than coming out as a lesbian, now says, "The freedom of being out and open about who I am allowed me to find and fall in love with Lauren...the most amazing woman I've ever known."
Congrats ladies.
And, as a wedding gift, I've registered you two at Ace Hardware, and will be gifting you with a belt sander and some Doc Martens.
Enjoy!
 
It looks like Lindsay Lohan's association with crime isn't quite over yet.
But maybe, just maybe,m this time crime will pay. It seems that La Lohan is in "final talks" to play mob-daughter Victoria Gotti in 'Gotti: Three Generations,' an upcoming  feature film about Victoria's mafioso father, John.

If this holds up--and it depends on whethe Lindsay goes back to jail or rehab for the summer--she'll star opposite seriously heterosexual John Travolta, who has agreed to play John Gotti.
And to make this film even more of a circus, rumors are swirling--as rumors are apt to do--that Kim Kardashian recently met with executive producers to discuss playing John's daughter-in-law, Kim Gotti.
A Kardashian and a Lohan, together.
This just reeks of an Oscar winning film.
Oscar.Mayer.
Producer Marc Fiore, who obviously has grandiose dreams, says his $75 million production is "going to be the new 'Godfather.'"
Oh, but he did.
There was another story out that Lindsay would play Sharon Tate in a film about Charles Manson.
Or that she would be in the new 'Superman' movie.
But those have to wait, while Lindsay sees if she stars in Prison Bitch.
That's not a film, that's her future.

This has crazy written all over it.
After Britney Spears', um, lethargic-looking demeanor during promotional performances for her new album, comes word that Brit-Brit doesn't want to be bothered performing any more.

She wants to act.
A source--and by source, I mean the team of men who hoist her Frito-laden ass about the stage with she lip-syncs to songs she does not remember--says, "Britney is very mindful that she has to evolve as an artist now she is heading towards her thirties. Music will always be a part of her life but she has come to love acting, and comedy especially. She is currently considering a few scripts. One is a comedy and a kind of parody of the popstar she is and the other is a more serious role which is an action movie."
A serious role in an action movie? Aint no such thing.
But the question I pose is this: if Spears cannot be bothered to learn to sing, much less learn the dance moves, to take this new album on tour, how will she ever become an actress?
Seriously, she has all the intelligence of a pork rind.
I see Brit-Brit's future like this: wackadoo tours, more head-shaving, more drama, another wackadoo tour, and then she'll fade from view, only to resurface in 2041 on some Bravo reality show, like, well, maybe, the Real Housewives of Backswamp.

And the gay is coming out after more than fifty years.

The 1951 novel From Here to Eternity, by James Jones, is set to be re-issued digitally through eBook firm called Open Road, and it will ALLEGEDLY feature two scenes involving gay content that were previously censored from the original publication.
Uh-huh. FHTE is going back to its gay roots.

The novel, which focuses on US soldiers serving in Hawaii in the months leading up to Pearl Harbor, was later adapted into a 1953 film starring Frank Sinatra. In the original book, there were two scenes that didn't make the cut: one focused on Private Angelo Maggio--the role Sinatra played in the film--revealing that he had sometimes been paid to have oral sex with another man; the other excised scene involved a military investigation into possible homosexual activity.

In addition to The Gay, the filthy language of the original novel is being pout back in. Get ready for some F-bombs.

James Jones' daughter, Kaylie, explains: "My father fought bitterly to hold on to every four-letter word in the manuscript. The publisher was concerned about getting through the censors."
And so The Gay and The Profane were cut from the novel and from the film, but now they're back, baby. And maybe that famous beach scene, with Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr, could be filmed again with, say, Colin Farrell and Matt Damon?
Just asking.

What does an actress do after she costars in an Oscar-nominated film?

Well, if you're Mila Kunis, fresh off her hot 'Black Swan' performance, you see what kind of offers come up, and then you take your pick.
One part, though, that Kunis won't be taking, even though an offer was made and all other parties are, um, into it, is being one of Charlie Sheen's goddesses.
Indeed!
At the Columbus, Ohio stop on his horrendously awful  'My Violent Torpedo Of Truth/Defeat Is Not An Option Tour,' Sheen began a campaign to secure Kunis as goddess number three in the Sheen crackhouse, saying, "Here's the good news: my goddesses have already f**king approved [Mila]. She's pre-approved! I'm going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes. I'm going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f---ing hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we have a warehouse full of your favorite s--t to steal," 
And she must be thrilled.
And then, in incoherent Sheen-speak, he added: "I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis. If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t , trust me, you're still f**king winning, you're still winning at that moment."
For her part, rumor has it that Mila Kunis was less than thrilled with that particular offer, and even a little disgusted by it. Pals close to the actress say Thanks but no thanks, to Charlie, adding, "Obviously Charlie wanted to name someone who would create publicity for his tour, but the thought of it grosses Mila out."
It grosses me out, too.
And most of America.

More on Brit-Brit.

Less than a day after Spears debuted her new music video for 'Till the World Ends', she is fighting off rumors that she used a body double in the video.
Is that so far off the mark? I mean, she doesn't actually "sing" so should we be surprised that she also doesn't "dance"?
It is being suggested that choreographer and backup dancer Tiana Brown plays the role of Britney Spears' body in the video--accusations that the Spears camp, Camp HooHaw, denies. Now, to be fair, Brown has danced on the road with Britney on the 'Circus Starring Britney Spears Tour', but the rote answer Brit offered when asked if she's got a body double is, Oh hell to the no. It's Britney, bitch!
But then she turned to her handlers and asked, Which one is Britney?

Wow. Sink much.
He was one-half of a gay-married couple on The Amazing Race.
Then he dated Lance Bass.
Then he "starred" on Logo's The A-List.

And now, you ask--or maybe don't ask, though I'll tell you anyway--what is Reichen Lehmkuhl up to now?
Apparently, while waiting for season two of A-list to start, Reichen has gotten himself a side job spanking his monkey on a webcam, though the paycheck is about as big as the payoff. The pictures of his choking the chicken session made their way on to the Internet this week, and I, for one, was waiting for Reichen to deny that the pictures were of his Little Reichen being strangled.
Not so.
After confirming that the images were, in fact, him, Lehmkuhl released a statement:
"I don't feel that this story represents anything different in me than what the majority of gay men have done at one point or another--as far as posting a private picture over internet lines for private viewing. In my, now, nine years of being in the public eye, I've seen many less-flattering photos attributed to me, so that's a plus. Moving on…"
Moving on?
To what?
A little back-door video? Or, howsabout moving on to something else altogether, like, say, obscurity?

Oh, Paris! Were you jealous that Lindsay was getting all the jewel thief press and just couldn't stand it for another minute?

It seems that old-coke-in-the-vah-jay-jay,Paris Hilton, is being sued by the insurance company of Damiani jewelry, ALLEGING that she hasn't returned $60,000 worth of loaned jewels.
Wow. You beat Lindsanity there. She just, um, "borrowed" a $2500 necklace, but you've upped the ante.
It seems that the jewelry in question was part of the $2.8 million stash that was stolen from her house, while she was "borrowing"them, by the Hollywood Bling Ring back in 2009. The jewels were eventually recovered and returned to Hilton, who then never bothered to give them back to the jeweler.
What is it about the celebutards that they forget to put on underwear and return things they borrow?
And the insurance company, Allianz, even blames Paris for the robbery because she left her front door unlocked and ALLEGEDLY left the jewelry lying about like she does her cocaine.
A representative for Paris, who spends most days trying to explain the alphabet to the heiress, says: "We only just received the complaint but it is clear that it is not based on fact. Among other things, nobody from the Hilton team ever told the insurance company that the Damiani items that were stolen were returned. We are not aware of any of the Damiani items being recovered by the police, only costume jewelry was recovered."
It's the old I-ain't-got-your-stinking-jewels routine!
But if it doesn't play out like that, can you imagine the fun of prison if Lindsay and Paris are  jailed together? I mean, which one would be the other one's bitch? And which one could carve a shiv out of soap?

Star Jones is everywhere on the small screen, filling it up from corner to corner and top to bottom, as she scurries about to promote her new book, 'Satan's Sisters'. But, um, she ALLEGEDLY won't be making an appearance on 'The View'.

And, as Star is apt to do, whenever she isn't eating, which is rare, she's yapping it up about ALLEGED  reports that Barbara Walters is personally blocking her from ever showing up at 'The View' again.
Between bites of a Brontosaurs Burger, she says, "You can't push Barbara into doing anything! Are you out of your mind?"
And then she said, "Nom nom nom nom burp."
Star has, however, appeared on the former co-host Joy Behar's show, and while Star moaned and kvetched and ate a bowl of rigatoni, Joy made it very clear she had nothing to do with the guest bookings at her other job. She did, however, seem to be happy speaking to, and feeding, her former co-host.
Of course, a source for ABC--and by source, i mean the guy who defrosts Walters each day before she appears on-set--says, "Since the show began, Ms. Walters has made it her practice not to book the program."
Riiiight.
Maybe the reason Bab doesn't want Star back, aside from the increased food budget, is that Star's, ahem, novel, 'Satan's Sisters' is the tale of five women on a talk show where "alliances are forged, careers are made, and bridges are burned."
The matriarch, AKA old lady newswoman, of a fictional show, called 'The Lunch Club,' is a character named Maxine Robinson, the first African-American to become a network news anchor. Maxine is conniving and borderline nasty.
Sounds a little Walters-esque, eh?
But I'd love to see Star and Barbara togetehr again. Especially in the heat of summer. The iciness between the two women would certainly cool off a hot August afternoon.

I Didn't Say It.....

Cindy Jacobs, on the downfall of society because Madonna kissed Britney on TV, at a "Christian" rally in Sacramento last weekend:

"This girl-on-girl kissing, Madonna kissing Britney Spears, and what happened to Britney after that and a lot of other things. I know we’re going out over worldwide television. I want to tell you, bisexuality, every kind of perverse thing, the Bible calls this sin. And I want the women of God to kneel down right now and we are going to put a stop to this in our generation and we are going to say 'No More!'"

Two women kissed on a TV show and the world as we know it is coming to an end.

Cindy? I think that kiss kinda made you tingly in places you'd never been tingly before. Why else bring up a seven-year-old kiss?

Australian medal-winning swimmer Stephanie Rice, apologizing for Tweeting "suck on that faggots - probs the best game I've ever seen - well done boys") after a rugby game:

"My comments were thoughtless and careless but I can assure you when I made those comments on Twitter I never intended to offend anybody. I've learned a lot in the last couple of days. I've learned I must think before I speak and this has been a very important lesson. I've also learned that some things you say can mean more to others than they do to you...I felt I've let a lot of people down. I just want people to know how sorry I am. I'm just here to gain people's trust back and show how out of character it was."

I think we take her at her word.

I haven't heard that she's uttered these sorts of things before, so move on.

But, yes, there is a but, we need to make "faggot" not quite such a hateful thing to call someone.

Straight or gay.

Gay Olympic diver Matthew Mitcham, coming to Rice's defense, on Twitter:

"I agree, it was offensive & very thoughtless, but being friends with her for 2years, I know she is not homophobic...She meant no malice, & she has apologised for her careless comment posted in the excitment of the moment....That's enough for me to forgive a friend...She's not a homophobe. She luvs gays but used very ill-chosen language...I don't in any way support or condone WHAT she said, but her apology & remorse is genuine & we are good friends."

At some point, like Matthew, we need to move beyond the condemnation of the person for their words and understand people say things in the heat, and excitement, of the moment.

Scissor Sisters vocalist Ana Matronic, on her late gay father, who died of AIDS when she was a teenager:

"Mum said, 'We can't get back together because dad is gay.' It wasn't said in a brutal or shocking way. Although I was young, I knew dad now felt about men the way that he had once felt about my mother. Basically, I understood this meant they'd never be together - and at six, that sucked.I may have chosen that path subconsciously, but I didn't think, 'Right, life mission: I'm going to understand what it's like to be a gay man. I've always been a very flamboyant person and I think I would have ended up there anyway. I was born and raised in a very artistic household. I went to drama classes at school. My mother is an incredibly artistic woman. I think that regardless of whether or not my father was gay, I would have sought out creatively passionate people."

People are people, straight or gay, and some of them die from AIDS, straight or gay.

But it affects us all.

Danielle Staub, on being fired--though she says she quit--from Bravo's Real Mafia Wives Of New Jersey:

"I'm way too good for this. They have used me about as much as I can be used. I think it's time for me to move on and upward. I don't see any interest for me to be attacked like that. I mean, what's left for [the other castmates]? To kill me? Bravo seems to be glorifying their behavior. And I think it's almost like telling children to behave poorly at school, 'It's OK.'"

Once a victim always a lying manipulative famewhore looking to score another fifteen minutes of fame and get some more money for the plastic surgeon, and the legal team keeping her from prison.

Andy Cohen on Bravo's sexuality:

"I always saying we’re bi, but I think it’s kind of how I view myself being gay—it’s just one of things that I am. So Bravo may or may not be gay, but I think there’s a lot of other things going on. I think for the gay people on Bravo, it’s one of the things that they are—they’re not on Bravo because they’re gay."

Oh, Andy, bring Bravo out of the closet.

It's gay.

Way gay.

It's so gay that I should have my own show on Bravo.

Susan Sarandon, on her breakup with Tim Robbins:

"The nation mourned. I had a lot of people who came up to me and were not as upset as I was–but were definitely upset. I did feel a sense of responsibility, because I knew that people had a certain idea of how I was and who we were. And in that sense …But on your deathbed, it's not really going to matter how those people felt."

This is a smart sexy confident woman and if I were heterosexual man I might be turned on by her.

Who am I kidding, I am turned on by a smart sexy confidant woman.

I could always use another Fag Hag.

Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise's Stepford wife, on not having any more children--right now--with the diminutive former star:

"Maybe in a couple of years, but right now I want to make sure I'm really there for Suri. I'm the youngest in my family — my closest sister is five years older than me, and the next one is nine years ahead of me, so I was a bit of an only child, and I liked it! I liked having all of my mom's attention, and sometimes I think I still do. [Plus] we travel a lot, and so for me, it's keeping a daily schedule for Suri that never changes. We wake up and we do the same thing. She does her chores. If she doesn't get her chores done, I notice she's not really herself. She has to make her bed, she has to take her dishes to the sink, she has to put her clothes in the laundry — you know, that basic stuff."

And by "basic stuff," I think she means Suri rings for the maid to make her bed, and do her laundry.And by waiting until Suri is older, i think she means waiting for the Church of Scientology to give it's okay.