God Was Suspended

You may not know, but God has a Twitter account—I follow Her. It’s a satirical account, with over six million followers, that mainly mock _____ and faux-Christians, while supporting the LGBTQ community. But one recent pro-LGBTQ Tweet got God suspended from Twitter and God was not happy. The Tweet in question, from January 2019, said:

“If gay people are a mistake, they’re a mistake I’ve made hundreds of millions of times, which proves I’m incompetent and shouldn’t be relied on for anything.”

Months after the Tweet, Twitter said it violated their community standards and temporarily suspended the God account, and naturally, God was not happy …

“What the fuck, Twitter. Seriously. What the fuck. What the fuck is this.”

But when God appealed Twitter’s decision, the account was restored with the following message:

“Hello God, Our support team has received your account and it appears we made an error. We’ve determined there was no violation and have restored your account to fill functionality. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate you taking the time to submit your appeal to request to us.

Thanks, Twitter”

But God is not to be trifled with, and so a God Tweet was issued:

“’Hello God?’ Please. Don’t try to make all kissy-kissy with Me now, Twitter. It’s too late. You messed with the wrong Near Eastern Bronze Age sky-father-king projection. By the time I’m done with you, MYSPACE will laugh at your relevance.”

It just proves you don’t mess with the God of Twitter.

Bobservations

One morning this week, I was in our home office and Carlos comes into tell me of yet another reason the Conservatives will be freaking out: male dancers with the professional sports teams. Not cheerleaders, but dancers.

I started to say something about how that might not exactly rile up the conservatives and Carlos said:

‘And some of them are really hot.”

Now we know the real reason behind his story.

PS Carlos loves American Ninja Warriors because, he says, the men must be in amazing physical shape to compete; then, of course, he adds:

“Some of them are really hot.”

Are you sensing a theme?

The GOP is all abuzz that Paul Ryan will be resigning soon. And, in case you thought that was just wishful thinking, think about how shortly after the rumor broke Paul Ryan put out an official statement denying a press report that Republicans were saying that he was getting ready to resign.

Uh huh. Bye Felicia.

Earlier this year the LGBTQ community of Starkville, Mississippi planned a Pride parade, but the alderman in the city put the kibosh on a Queer Celebration. Then the LGBTQ community filed a federal lawsuit against the city of Starkville and there was a revote, a 3-3 deadlock that was broken after Mayor Lynn Spruill voted in favor of the parade.

So, last Saturday Starkville held their Pride parade and it was the biggest parade in the city’s history, with over 3,000 people flooding downtown Starkville for the first ever LGBTQ Pride parade.

Mayor Spruill has been a vocal LGBTQ supporter and praised the turnout made possible by the high level of attention brought to the situation:

“I never expected to have this many people. Somewhere between 2,500 and 3,000 people and this would never have happened if we didn’t have the controversy, so I’m almost grateful for the controversy in the sense it became something more than it ever would have been and it became something we can be very proud of, with no issues associated with it.”

Congrats, Starkville, for your Pride.

From the Rightwingnuts and NRA Lapdogs Are Lying Pigs file comes the story of Parkland shooting survivor Emma Gonzalez being pictured ripping the US Constitution into pieces.

Conservatives, gun nuts, asshats, morons, douchebags and idiots all over posted and reposted the picture except …

What? It was faked!

The original photo was from a Teen Vogue story from last week featuring Gonzalez, and other teen activists, ripping a target poster, not the Constitution.

Teen Vogue chief content officer, Phillip Picardi, set the record straight on Twitter:

"The fact that we even have to clarify this is proof of how democracy continues to be fractured by people who manipulate and fabricate the truth."

Rightwingnutted fake news spreaders and liars.

I would now like to thank all the “Family Values Voters” who still support _____for finally admitting that their moral outrage at Democrats over the last thirty years was total bullshit.

See, to the conservatives, being married three times and cheating on all of your wives with multiple parties is just fine.

And then you have evangelicals saying that _____’s affairs and bad behavior are between him and his “God,” yet these same evangelicals were all up in my business when I wanted to marry my husband.

Fuck off, asshats.

Speaking of Asshats and the GOP, Indiana Governor, and Republican, because of course, Eric Holcomb just passed a law that every time a woman seeks medical or psychological treatment she must be quizzed about past abortions.

Failure to disclose past abortions can result in 6 months in jail and $1000 fine.

The GOP cannot keep their hands out of women’s vaginas.

In other GOP hypocrisy, Arizona has about a thousand gun deaths every year, but the governor, Republican because of course, Doug Ducey, opposes universal background checks.

But last week one person was killed by a driver-less Uber automobile, and Ducey suspended Uber from driver-less autonomous testing.

So, he’s more concerned with one person killed by an Uber and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about a thousand gun-related deaths.

Louisiana Attorney General Jeff Landry, a Republican, because of course, announced that Baton Rouge police officers Blane Salamoni and Howie Lake will not be charged in the fatal shooting of Alton Sterling in 2016 because they had “good reason to believe” Sterling was armed and resisting arrest.

You know, cuz he was a black man.

Last weekend I watched a British film called B&B, the story of a gay couple refused a single bed at an English bed-and-breakfast; they sued, and won, and a year later, they return to the B&B to celebrate.

Only they find the owner still homophobic, and the owner’s son a closeted gay boy, and a hot beefy Russian staying at the inn. It gets very convoluted; is the Russian gonna hook up with the gay boy? Is he a gay basher? Are the gay men gonna kill him? Is the father gonna kill all of them? Is the son out to kill his homophobic dad?

Let’s say all of that happened and more, and less. It was a fairly decent film but the leads, from top to bottom, were especially delicious …

Tom Bateman played one half of the gay couple, with Sean Teale as his dreamy husband. James Tratas was the beefy Russian with an agenda … to get me riled up.

Just sayin’.