The Funny Papers: Cast A Goddamned Vote!

Nick Anderson, Tim Campbell, Mike Luckovich, Daniel Medina, Trevor Irvin, Gary Huck, Michael de Adder, Clay Bennett, Matt Wuerker, Dennis Goris, Marc Murphy, Clare Crooke,

Bobservations

Carlos is still under the weather—we have been on the lookout for Oregano oil as suggested by Treader—but the other day he whipped out the humidifier and some essential oils to clear out his throat. I walked into the guest bathroom and he was hunched over the thing and I asked if he wanted a towel to put over his head and he said No thanks.

I then asked if he wanted a chair from the kitchen table so he wouldn't have to stoop over and he asked why I was being so nice; I replied:

“I’m always nice, motherfucker.”

I think humor is the best medicine.

This Tuxedo Memory is from October 2011 when I was trying to monetize the cats to help with their expenses …

"Caturday: Head Shots

I'm thinking of pitching a new idea to Bravo, The Real HouseCats Of Camden, so I have been taking headshots of the players for my proposal.

Here they are: 

Tuxedo would be that cat. The one everybody loves and wonders why he is on such a trashy show.

Consuelo Roca Jones would be the cat that flips the table.

Tallulah Belle is the crazy one, with the wonky eyes, that you never know when she'll attack.

MaxGoldberg will be the one who cries. On cue.

And for a little diversity, we'll toss Ozzo in the mix. He'll be the outsider who's always crashing the HouseCat parties and eating their food."

It breaks my heart realizing that with the exception of Consuelo all these lovelies are gone now.

News from Blue Tuesday … 

In Pennsylvania, Moms for Liberty [MfL], the right-wing “parental rights” hate group advocating an anti-woke agenda in America’s schools, had a rough night in the elections where all five of the Republican candidates in Central Bucks were included in the MfL guide and yet all five seats were won by Democrats. And then in Pennridge, another school district in Bucks County, all five of those school board’s open seats went to Democrats. And lastly, Pennsylvania Democrats expanded their majority on the state Supreme Court, a potential sign of strength heading into the 2024 election and another win for a campaign centered on abortion rights.

In Iowa, the highly contested Linn-Mar school board race had eight candidates vying for four open spots and all candidates supported by MfL failed to get in the top four.

Meanwhile in Virginia, state Delegate, Democrat Danica Roem won her race for the state Senate, while state Senator, Democrat Adam Ebbin defeated his GOP opponent while state Delegate, Democrat Mark Sickles won re-election in House District 17. Roem is transgender; Ebbin and Sickles are both gay. Even better, Virginia Democrats maintained control of the state Senate and flipped the state House, providing Democrats with a stronger hand pushing against the policy priorities of Republican Governor Glenn Youngkin.

In Ohio, most men and women voted yes on Issue 1, establishing a right to abortion in the state’s constitution.

It was a gloriously blue day in much of the country.

Kayleigh McEnany, AKA Bullshit Barbie, is pissed off by the Thing 45 fraud trial but not for the reasons you might think. Nope, this dope took issue with an unflattering courtroom sketch of Inmate # P01135809 shortly after he finished testifying and offered this piece of advice:

“I would advise them to ask for a better sketch artist because that does not look like my former boss there. This is a travesty of justice. And that sketch is a travesty too. It looks nothing like Trump.”

Seriously, he’s facing the possibility of losing tons of coins, and most of his business dealings in New York but Little Kayleigh is mad because the sketch of him looks bad.

The Ron DeSantis presidential campaign … hold for laughter … formally rolled out a new endorsement from Iowa’s Governor, QAnon Goose-stepper, or whatever her name is.

See, for just $25, or more, small dollar donors will be able to watch Governor Kim Reynolds formally confer her nod of approval on Governor High Heels.

Seriously, Ronnie? This is  a money-making thing for your campaign?

PS Kimmie’s endorsing DeFascist because he probably promised her the VP slot.

This past weekend, Carlos was feeling a little better so we went off to do our CostCo pilgrimage. We were also looking for some things we’ll need for Thanksgiving dinner as we’re having friends in and are doing the cooking ourselves.

I was looking for a turkey, but I found none, and thought maybe they won’t come in this far off from the Big Day but as we strolled the aisles I saw a CostCo employee and stopped to ask:

“Do you know if they have any turkeys yet?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I just work in clothes and socks … “

“Well, are there any turkeys wearing clothes and socks?”

She looked at me as if I were nuts. She wasn’t far off.

Sebastiano Pigazzi is an Italian actor and model whose most famous TV role was his crotch in And Just Like That, the Sex and The City reboot  thirst grab. But this isn’t all about that … Would You hit It?

The Funny Papers

Bill Day, Dave Whamond, Adam Zyglis, RJ Matson, Luckovich, Clay Bennett, Bill Bramhall, Ted Littleford, Mike Smith, Jack Ohman, Nick Anderson, David Horsey, John Cole, Tim Campbell, Michael de Adder, Steve Breen, 

Bobservations

So Carlos was telling me the story of Thais, who was in love with Venus and—it’s quite long and involved and this isn’t about that, so we’ll skip ahead—then he said:

“That’s when the opera started.”

Now, some of you may know that Carlos pronounces ‘opera’ like ‘oprah’ and I always get a giggle about that and it flusters him, but as he told the story, I said:

“Oprah was there? Oprah? What was Oprah doing?”

And without missing a beat, he says:

“She was giving away camels. You get a camel! And you get a camel!”

Sometimes he slays me.

Pete Buttigieg is simple, straightforward, common sense, with no hype, no bull shiz, no inflammatory speech. This man needs to be President one day soon.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has endorsed a bipartisan electoral count reform bill, giving the legislation a key boost over a similar bill the House passed. Both bills would prevent future fascist narcissistic presidents from trying to overturn election results through Congress.

The Electoral Count Reform and Presidential Transition Improvement Act would amend the Electoral Count Act of 1887 and reaffirm that the vice president has only a ministerial role at the joint session of Congress to count electoral votes, as well as raise the threshold necessary for members of Congress to object to a state’s electors.

Nice to see the GOP line up behind this since, you know, January 6 was a GOP thang, and one sure fire reason to stand behind this is that insurrectionist and Big Liar Ted Cruz is against it..

CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is not getting at least one vote that we know of … because her husband of twenty-seven years, Perry Greene, has filed for divorce. Marge Greene, adulterer, is famous for saying:

“Marriage is a wonderful thing and I’m a firm believer in it. Our society is formed by a husband and wife creating a family to nurture and protect. Together, Perry and I formed our family and raised three great kids. He gave me the best job title you can ever earn: Mom.”

Now he’s calling you Ex-. And before anyone thinks I’m being mean, remember Marjorie Taylor Greene attacks other people's marriages, like mine, calling hers the model.

And yet her husband calls the marriage "Irretrievably broken." Sorry. Not Sorry.

Look, I joke a lot, and I’m sarcastic a lot but I think I’m a good friend and here’s one example:

A friend called me and asked if I would loan him $1300 to help him pay rent. Those who know me, know that I’m always willing to help out friends & family but I told him to give me some time to think about it and I would call him back. Before I called him, though, his brother phoned to let me know that my friend was lying and that my friend needed the $1300 to bail his girlfriend out of jail so they could be together for her birthday. Well, I thought about it and decided to give my friend the money anyway because we all need help at times and as sarcastic as I am, I am kinda soft-hearted.

A couple of hours later I got a call from the police station. It was my friend, crying and screaming and asking why I gave him $1300 in counterfeit money.

I told him it was so he and his girlfriend could be under the same roof for her birthday.

Last week Ernesto Martin Herrera tried to serve Texas Attorney General with a subpoena for a federal court hearing in a lawsuit from nonprofits that want to help Texans pay for abortions out of state. When Herrera arrived at Paxton’s home he told a woman who identified herself as Paxton’s wife, Angela, that he needed to deliver legal documents to her husband.

She said Paxton was on the phone and unable to come to the door. Herrera said he'd wait, but an hour later Angela exited the house, got into a truck in the driveway, started it, opened the doors and then Paxton came running from the house, got into the car and she drove away.

Paxton then Tweeted:

“It’s clear that the media wants to drum up another controversy involving my work as Attorney General, so they’re attacking me for having the audacity to avoid a stranger lingering outside my home and showing concern about the safety and well-being of my family.”

A stranger who identified himself? And Paxton shows concern for his family by making his wife answer the door? By making his wife head out to the driveway and start up the getaway car and then he runs outside like a rat and jumps in?

This is the epitome of ReTHUGlicans.

I moved out of Florida to get away from hurricanes, and now it appears that Ian will be coming right over the top of Casa Bob y Carlos Friday night and into Saturday and Sunday.

The good news—is there ever good news with a hurricane—is that the storm should lessen significantly before we get it, and the projected rainfall totals for Camden aren’t so terrible.

But, seriously, Mama Nature, why?

Anthony Bowens is the first out gay wrestler to become an All-Elite Wrestling [AEW] champion, and man oh man is he a hunk of man-meat, but … Would You Hit It? Or Would You Let Him Hit You?