I Didn't Say It ...

Barack Obama, telling us we are right to be concerned about this country:

“Do not wait for the perfect message, don’t wait to feel a tingle in your spine because you’re expecting politicians to be so inspiring and poetic and moving that somehow, ‘OK, I’ll get off my couch after all and go spend the 15-20 minutes it takes for me to vote,’ because that’s part of what happened in the last election. I heard that too much.”

You heard it from our last great president.

Cast.A.Goddmaned.Vote!

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Jon Stewart, returning to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert , and unleashing on _____’s policies:

“Hello, Donald. It’s me, the guy you made sure everyone knew was Jewish on Twitter. I know you’re upset about all the criticism you’ve been taking in the ‘fake news’ and the ‘fake late-night shows.’ It’s just we’re all still having a little trouble adjusting to your presidency as it goes into its … 500th year. Everything’s off its axis, it’s a little unusual. Apparently, Putin and Kim Jong Un are noble, intelligent role models, and Canada’s a bunch of giant assholes. That’s hard to get used to. You’re redoing the post-war alliances, but this time we’re with the axis powers. If there’s one hallmark to your presidency that I think we’re finding most difficult, it’s that, no matter what you do, it always comes with an extra layer of gleeful cruelty and dickishness. It’s not just that you don’t want people taking a knee, it’s that they’re sons of bitches if they do. It’s not just denying women who accuse you of sexual assault, it’s saying they were too ugly anyway. You can’t just be against the media, they’re ‘enemies of the people.’ Which brings us to immigration. Boy, you f**ked that up. It’s the seminal example of the _____ doctrine … Donald, you could have absolutely made a more stringent border policy that would have made your point about enforcement. But I guess it wouldn’t have felt right without a Dickensian level of villainy. You may be orange, you may like hamburgers, you may be a clown, but you are no Ronald McDonald. [So], let’s negotiate for an end to this gratuitous dickishness, what can we give you? You dig the dictator thing. How about a giant building with gold toilets and your name on it? Clearly, we’re not going to be able to negotiate or shame you into decency, but there is one place where I draw the line: I won’t allow you and your sycophants to turn your cruelty into virtue. You know, as the great Abraham Lincoln once said, ‘I am the least racist person you’ve ever met. The blacks, they love me.’ Sorry, that was you. [Lincoln actually said] ‘This and only this: cease to call slavery wrong, and join them in calling it right.’ It was on this point that Lincoln said the Union could not bend. And what _____ wants is for us to stop calling his cruelty and fear and divisiveness wrong, but to join him in calling it right. And this we cannot do. And I say, by not yielding, we will prevail!”

Word.

We.Will.Prevail.

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Darren Criss, on playing gay characters:

“Because that narrative is an interesting narrative. It’s a historically heroic narrative that involves resilient brave people and to be any kind of beacon for that story for any characterization of that element is fucking amazing…Like what a f**king privilege.”

And I imagine the roles are more fabulous!

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Ryan Murphy, Glee, American Horror Story, Pose, The Normal Heart, The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story, producer/director, receiving VH1’s Trailblazer Award:

“When I was first starting out in this business in the late 1990s, it was not easy for me. I was told not to follow my instinct, to be someone else. I was told I was too weird, I was too faggy, I was too unusual. My mannerisms and my voice were mocked by executives in note meetings … But honestly, it was very painful to be discriminated against because what I wanted to do with my life, with my career, was very simple. And that was to see myself and my experiences on television. Oprah Winfrey speaks very movingly about watching the Academy Awards and seeing herself and what she could possibly be when Sydney Poitier won an Oscar in 1964. As a gay man I never had that experience. I never saw triumphant, or at the very least, complicated gay people or gay characters on television. Where in the movies as a child or as a teenager, they were always marginalized punchlines at best, beaten for who they were most of the time, killed for who they were. I believe strongly in the power of television because I believe in the following: if you see yourself and some part of your human experiences reflected back at yourself, you will not feel alone. And people with hatred and bias in their hearts can often be converted if a character or situation they’re invested in feels like a friend.”

Say what you will about Ryan Murphy, but he has made a conscious effort to bring LGBTQ people to television and film so we can finally see ourselves.

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Collin Martin, a midfielder for Minnesota United, coming out as gay and becoming the only openly gay professional athlete active in any of the five major sports leagues:

“I have been out as a gay man for many years to my family and friends, and this includes my teammates. Today, I’m proud that my entire team and the management of Minnesota United know that I am gay. I have received only kindness and acceptance from everyone in Major League Soccer and that has made my decision to come out publicly much easier. As we celebrate Pride night, I want to thank my teammates for their unconditional support for who I am. In light of my experience as a professional athlete, I want to take this moment to encourage others who play sports professionally or otherwise to have confidence that sport will welcome them wholeheartedly. June is Pride month, and I am proud to be playing for Pride, and to be playing as an out gay man.”

I always say that we are not so proud to be gay, but we are proud to be openly gay, in a world that sometimes wishes we weren’t.

Welcome out, Collin, and please accept, as our gift from HOMO HQ, a copy of the Gay Agenda and The Official Coming Out Toaster Oven™.

Welcome out.

PS He's hot.

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Michelle Wolf, White House Correspondents Dinner firebrand, on the civility debate:

“You have to insult them specifically. ‘You’re a c**t’ doesn’t hurt them. It’s on their vision board. If you see Ivanka on the street, first call her Tiffany. This will devastate her. Then, talk to her in terms she will understand. Say, ‘Ivanka, you’re like vaginal mesh. You were supposed to support women, but now you have blood all over you and you’re the center of a thousand lawsuits.’ … You’re like that birth control pill Yaz. At first it seemed like it’d be really cool and helpful, but you need to be immediately recalled.”

I’m liking the idea.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, explaining Democratic socialism:

“I believe that in a modern, moral and wealthy society, no person in America should be too poor to live. What that means to me is healthcare as a human right; it means that every child, no matter where you are born, should have access to a college or trade-school education, if they so choose it. I think that no person should be homeless if we have public structures or public policy to allow for people to have homes and food and lead a dignified life in the United States.”

Is that so wrong?

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I Didn't Say It ...

Darren Criss, on playing Versace killer Andrew Cunanan on American Crime Story:

“People tend to forget that people’s lives are much greater than the worst things they’ve ever done … He was a famously likable guy early in his life … I’ve met so many people that have met him throughout his life that really were quite fond of him and he was famously affable … And that’s when you go, ‘okay, we’re playing a person who has gone down this destructive path and how does something so promising become something so horrible?”

He was a sociopath, so he was able to con people into thinking he was this nice guy, but his entire life was a lie and it all caught up to him.

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Gus Kenworthy, openly gay Olympic skier, agreeing with openly gay figure skater Adam Rippon that homophobic Vice President Mike Pence shouldn’t be leading the Olympic delegation to the Winter Games:

“I actually found out about it from Adam Rippon’s quote about it. I feel the same way as him. I think it’s not the person I would have expected, and I think it sends mixed messages because this is the first time we’re seeing out U.S. Olympic athletes competing in the Winter Olympics, and then we have someone leading the delegation that doesn’t support that, and doesn’t support the LGBT community, and has spoken against it. I think it doesn’t send the right message. It’s unfortunate, but it is what it is.”

It’s disgusting, and I think every athlete should avoid Pence at all costs to send a message that we are not that, not any more.

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Kellyanne Conway, _____’s Minister of Propaganda, on Russian interference in the U.S. election:

"Let me tell you something. Everybody who said Donald Trump couldn't win. Everybody who said the election was all wrapped up. Every screaming headline, every wrong poll, every anchor, every pundit who said, ‘This is over, it's a joke, he can't win, he can't govern,’ tried to interfere in the election. And it didn't work."

So, it was the media who interfered, Kelly? Or was it the fact that the racists and bigots and so-not-Christian evangelicals came out of the woodwork to vote for hate?

Yeah, it’s that.

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Samantha Bee, on _____’s Racist In Chief, Stephen Miller:

“Who is this enterprising slime mold on the Wonder Bread of democracy? Where did he come from? Is he just 10,000 spiders who really made a commitment? What happened to him? Did a janitor once accidentally buff his forehead?”

He’s a racist. That’s all.

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Bernie Marcus, Home Depot co-founder, on Democrats being elitist:

“These are things that the Pelosi and Schumer group don’t have a clue about. It’s why they lost the election, it’s as simple as that. Clinton never knew about the real people out there. That’s why they lost the election, and that’s why they’re going to lose the next election for the same reason. You’ve got to use your brains! Democrats, use your stupid brains. You don’t have any brains!”

Says the man who supported _____. 2018 is coming, tool, and you’ll be eating your words. Oh, and …

PS Boycott Home Depot to show Bernie he’s a dick.

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Sarah Huckleberry Sanders, fashion and makeup challenged White House Press Secretary, on Nancy Pelosi:

“I think Nancy Pelosi looks like that all the time. I think she should smile a lot more often. I think the country would be better for it. She seems to kind of embody the bitterness that belongs in the Democrat Party right now.”

Wow. A woman should just smile so people will like her?

I think Sarah Huckleberry should try lying less often and see what happens.

Oh, and run a lawn mower through those eyebrows every now and again.

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Matt Gaetz, GOP Congressman, who brought a white nationalist to the SOTU this week and is now trying to walk it back:

“I met Chuck [Johnson] just briefly before allowing him to snag a ticket that was at our office, but some of the claims against Mr. Johnson are not accurate. He’s not a holocaust denier, he’s not a white supremacist, those are unfortunate characterizations of him but I did not know he was as perhaps infamous and controversial as he was when he came by and got a free ticket. He is not guilty of the things that some people have charged him of as it relates to those claims. Look, he’s a controversial figure, there were plenty of controversial folks at the State of the Union, I don’t just cavort with people who hold my views, I think there are people on the right and on the left who you spend time with, learn more about, understand their viewpoint.”

Let’s make this completely queer:

Gaetz’s guest at the SOTU, Chuck Johnson, has a crowdfunding site that raises money to defend Nazi leader Andrew Anglin and other far-right extremists.

Chuck Johnson was banned from Twitter in 2015 after soliciting donations to “take out” Black Lives Matter activist DeRay McKesson.

That’s who Gaetz brought to SOTU and is now trying to back away from.

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Sarah Jessica Parker, on Kim Cattrall’s claim they were never friends: 

“I found it very upsetting because that’s not the way I recall our experience. It’s sad, but I always think that what ties us together was this singular experience. It was a professional experience but it became personal because it was years and years of our lives, so I hope that that eclipses anything that’s been recently spoken. That many years spent doing something so special that people had a connection with it is such a privilege.”

Honey, you were co-workers. That doesn’t make you friends.

Take a seat and look at your shoe collection for a minute.

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Bobservations

So, I’m over, or getting over, my bad cold thingy, but I will say this: I am a horrible patient. I prefer to take care of myself because, well, who knows me better than me? So, I don’t take kindly to anyone, even Carlos, telling me what I should be doing. As I politely shrieked at him last week:

“I know we’ve been together seventeen years, but in all the years before I ever knew you I managed to keep myself alive, so I think I know what’s best for me!!!!!!”

Best to read that in high-pitched, sore throat, stuffy nose howler monkey realness to get the full effect.

Also, I slept in the guest room for a week, so Carlos wouldn’t get it sick, so I’m not all mean, right? And all of the cats, even Consuelo Roca-Jones, came into the guest room to sleep with me, and I told Carlos that I thought they were a trio of death cats watching and waiting for me to take my last breath.

Carlos, on the other hand, was miffed, saying he was hurt they moved out of the master bedroom to sleep with me and not him; he said the cats liked me more. I, in the throes of my howler monkey realness, said:

“They don’t like me more … they love me more.”

Even sick, I got it.

This week Mississippi state Representative Credell Calhoun … a Democrat fer f**ks sake … introduced a bill that would require Mississippi school teachers to read the Ten Commandments every day in the first hour of class.

In.Public.School.

Oh, and in addition to the Ten Commandments recitation, teachers would be required to display the Commandments prominently in every classroom, school auditorium, and cafeteria.

Separation of church and state? Not in Credell’s idiotic brain.

And don’t get me started on how bad many public-school systems in this country are doing, and this tool wants to take time out to read the Ten Commandments?

Tide Pods? Really? Eating Tide Pods is a thing? Eating detergent is a pastime? I mean, I get it if you’re, say, under four-years-old, but anyone over that age who thinks ingesting a cleanser is cool or fun or “the in thing” needs to be watched 24/7.

We’ve seen all kinds of GOP Congressmen and Senators refuse to hold Town Halls with their constituents out of fear that their constituents will arrive with metaphorical pitchforks, but GOP Asshat Extraordinaire Tom Cotton really takes the cake.

His office in Arkansas recently sent out cease-and-desist letters to constituents who contact his office with concerns. Cotton has also threatened citizens with legal action if they continue to express their opinion and reach out to his staff.

Someone needs to tell Senator Dumbfuck that he works for those constituents and if they wanna talk, he needs to pull his lips off _____’s fat flabby pasty cold, spanked with a Forbes magazine, and listen to them.

Or be removed from office.

Ryan Murphy’s new season of American Crime Story started last week, and this season is The Assassination of Gianni Versace. I didn’t think I’d be as interested as last year’s OJ story, but I was hooked after the first episode, mostly because former Glee boy, Darren Criss, is playing Versace killer Andrew Cunanan. I mean, he was a cute boy on Glee, but he’s chilling as a sociopath in this story.

Of course, the butt shot didn’t hurt anything, cuz, you know, I’m shallow like that.

Well, it is Texas so …

Judge Jack Robison, a Comal County judge, said God told him to intervene in jury deliberations to sway jurors to return a not guilty verdict in the trial of a Buda woman accused of trafficking a teen girl for sex. Robison defended his actions by telling them “when God tells me I gotta do something, I gotta do it.”

Luckily, the jurors were as inclined to listen to Robison as they were to his version of ‘God’ and went against his wishes and found Gloria Romero-Perez guilty of continuous trafficking of a person and sentenced her to 25 years in prison.

Like I said, it is Texas …

Poor Chris Christie. No sooner than he is out of office then he is treated like an ordinary person. No scooting to the front of the line at Krispy Kreme; no special made Sansi-Belt-Expand-O-Waist pants at wholesale prices; no more skipping the TSA checkpoint at the airport.

Christie tried to circumvent a TSA checkpoint at Newark Liberty International Airport last week, with his State Police detail, but a TSA officer said, “Oh hell no.”

He told Krispy Kreme he is no longer allowed to use that access and put him in line with the regular folks.

Oh, the hypocrisy …. Pennsylvania Republican Representative Patrick Meehan, who has taken a leading role in fighting sexual harassment in Congress, used thousands of dollars in taxpayer money to settle his own misconduct complaint after a former aide accused him of making unwanted romantic overtures to her.

Seriously. If they’re homophobes shouting anti-LGBT statement from the rooftops, they’re highly likely to be closeted homosexuals, and now, if they’re out there trying to protect women from sexual harassment, they’re the ones doing the harassing.

It’s like this: whatever a GOP politician says is the wrong thing to do, you can almost bet they’re doing it.

TMZ caught Suzanne Somers leaving an LA restaurant and asked her about the shutdown and _____:

“I’m happy about him. I’m happy that the economy is doing so much better…and now my career is over.”

Funny. I thought her career was over decades ago.

Lastly … The Mens.

Back in the 90s I rad a book … a book? That is so last century … called The Alienist … part murder mystery, serial killer thriller, and history lesson set in New York City at the turn of the previous century. Now, twenty years later it has come to television in a 10-part series and looks incredible.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that one of the stars is tall, dark, handsome, and openly gay, Luke Evans, who gives me the tingles.

And it doesn’t hurt that it co-stars Falk Hentschel, as a sultry sexy brothel owner, and sexy Brian Geraghty as NY Police Commissioner Theodore Roosevelt.

Good story, gorgeous filmmaking and some hot guys.

Rings all my bells.

Would You Hit It?

It's a simple question .... Glee's Darren Criss.

Would.You.Hit.It?

Yes or No?

When A Young Boy Met His Boyfriend, Darren Criss

I’ve posted about this Mom and Son before, like the time the son told his mother, when he was seven, that he was gay. And how the mom said, "I love you so much." But this is another tale of that Mom and son, and of Blaine, from that TV show.

A mother asks a son what he wants for Christmas and the son replies, "I want to meet Blaine [from ‘Glee’] and sing and play the guitar with him."

The son has a crush on Blaine, played by Darren Criss [side note: that’s a little something the son and I have in common] and even calls Blaine “my boyfriend” {side note: I do that, too] but what was Mom to do when her son asked for that particular gift?

"Baby, there are some things Mom just can't do …. You can't ask for people for Christmas."

The son seemed to realize that and the conversation dropped.

But then, a few months later, Darren Criss announced he was doing a 16-city concert tour that was coming relatively close to where that little boy lived. And, even knowing it would be an expensive outing, with tickets and motel rooms and gas and meals, Mom decided to take her son to his boyfriend’s concert.

And on the way they talked about Blaine and Darren; one was real, and one was a TV character. When the son first saw Blaine he was six, so the idea that Blaine and Darren could be the same person was foreign to him, but now he was 8, and now he understood.

But still, Blaine/Darren was his boyfriend and he wanted to meet him.

Mom has written many posts for the Huffington Post about her son, and they have become fairly popular, so she sent some emails and made some calls, and Mom had a big surprise for her son: he was going to meet Darren Criss.

The son was anxious, and they arrived at the House of Blues in Chicago very early, before the concert, so they wouldn’t be late. They played games and people-watched, and the son fretted about missing his chance. But finally, the time had come.

The son was nervous and happy and anxious and shy and all sorts of emotions, but Darren Criss, according to Mom, was “charming and lovely.” She won’t tell you what they talked about; maybe the son will share that one day himself, but Mom did get a chance to speak with Darren.

“What could I say to this young man who meant so much to my kid, this young man who, by playing a television character, had helped lead my son to tell me about his orientation and, by extension, helped change the trajectory of my own life toward activism? ‘Thank you’ felt so insufficient, but it was all I had.”

After the chat, it was time for the show. Mom and son settled in to watch, and the son spent a great deal of time taking pictures. But there, in the middle of the show, Darren began to play one of his original songs, "Not Alone" and Mom sang the words to her son:

"Baby, you're not alone,

'Cause you're here with me,

And nothing's ever gonna bring us down,

'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you,

And you know it's true.

It don't matter what'll come to be;

Our love is all we need to make it through."

After the show, the son held tight to his mother, and said, "Mom, meeting Darren Criss was all the trillions times better than a hotel with a pool."

And that meant the world to Mom.

Every gay kid needs a Mom  like that, and every gay kid needs someone to look up to, and admire, and maybe have a little crush on, who treats them as sweetly as Daren Criss treated that boy.

I'm more than a little bit jealous.

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Marriage Equality Voices

"I can't stop crying. We did it kids."
 — Lady Gaga, on Twitter.

"happy gays r here again !!!!!"
— Rosie O'Donnell, on Twitter.

"I have never been prouder to be a lifelong New Yorker than I am today with the passage of marriage equality."
— Cyndi Lauper, in a statement.

"Time to celebrate!!! Marriage Equality for NYers! Its about... love!"
— Ricky Martin, on Twitter.

"It PASSED! Marriage equality in NY!! Yes!! Progress!! Thank you everyone who worked so hard on this!! A historic night!"
— Neil Patrick Harris, on Twitter--NPH then proceeded to ask David Burtka to marry him in New York.

"I'm thrilled about the news from NY. Marriage equality! Every day we get a little closer. What an amazing feeling."
— Ellen DeGeneres, on Twitter.

"tonight we're all New Yorkers! Straight & gay alike, let's all celebrate marriage (hash)equality. The right side of history!"
— Kathy Griffin, on Twitter.

"Happy that New York passed marriage equality tonight. A victory for human rights. Progress."
— John Legend, on Twitter.

"congratulations!!!!!!!!! About time!"
— Pink, on Twitter.

"Alec! Now we can get married!"
— Steve Martin to Alec Baldwin, on Twitter.
"Ok. But if you play that ... banjo after eleven o'clock..."
— Baldwin's response.

"I sing it every night, but now it has better meaning: `New York- concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do.' :)"
— Darren Criss, on Twitter.

"Yay for Gay Marriage! NY, it's about time...jersey we're next! How you doin?"
— Wendy Williams, on Twitter.

And my favorite quote of all:
Ny Senator Roy McDonald, a Republican who voted for equality, to reporters:

“You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing. You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing. I'm tired of Republican-Democrat politics. They can take the job and shove it. I come from a blue-collar background. I'm trying to do the right thing, and that's where I'm going with this.”