Bobservations

A text exchange between Carlos and me yesterday …

Me: I’m leaving work. I’ll drop your book at the Post Office on my way home.

Carlos: Thank you.

Me: 💗💗💗

Carlos: How come you love me so much?

Me: I have no idea.

Carlos: Especially since I am a horrible person. [Of note: a dear old old old old old friend of his called him a horrible person because of some family situation going on]

Me: True dat.

Carlos: What? You think I’m horrible—

Me: Who is this? :::crackle::: crackle::: I can’t :::crackle::: hear you :::crackle:::

I love toying with him.

This Cat Tale, er, Tail, is from September 2009 and is entitled Rule Breakers:

We have rules at Chez Smallville. Cats can get on the beds, on the desk, on the sunroom furniture and on the living room couch. They cannot get on the counters, the tables, the dining room chairs or any of the four new chairs in the living room. And they listen. They know where they can go, and where they cannot.

So, imagine my surprise to walk into the living room and find Tuxedo and MaxGoldberg nesting in a No-No Chair! And look at Max; he's got that Uh-oh face. Tuxedo, on the other hand, couldn't even be bothered to wake up.

At least not until I yelled Geddownfromthere!

Cat scatter.

I miss those Little Devils.

How to tell the world you’re thirsty for attention without saying a word. 

Well, if you're Lisa Rinna, you appear at Cannes because there are cameras there, and you're dressed like Disco Bride of Frankenstein.

Here’s a palate cleanser to scrub my brain of Rinna … the other day I ordered a delivery of cake flour and the wrong thing was delivered.

Or was it?

So it goes like this … billionaire asshat Jeff Bezos went on a rampage over NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani “villainizing” billionaires so the very next day Mamdani launched a collection effort against Bezos and Amazon and recovered over $9 million in unpaid idling fines which occurred when Amazon drivers left their trucks illegally idling on the streets while they made their deliveries.

Bezos’ $2 trillion company ignored the tickets and fucked around and found out that Mamdani ain’t playin’.

Junior was getting married in the Bahamas over the weekend and his Daddy couldn’t attend because, he said, being president made it impossible—though it never stopped him from golfing or feeding his fat corroded face at Mar-Illegal—but is being too busy the real reason?

See, the real reason is that the Bahamas' Immigration Act generally restricts entry to individuals deemed "undesirable," including convicted criminals, sex offenders, and those with a history of sexual offenses … like the US President.

Makes me wonder if Junior didn’t plan the wedding in the Bahamas on the hopes that Daddy would get arrested.

In South Carolina MAGAt and  former police officer Waylon Rogers, along with Matthew Fay, Allen Folz, Paula Folz, Edward Storer, and Jeanine Storer, have been charged in an alleged child sex ring.

NOT TRANSGENDER! NOT A DRAG QUEEN! NOT AN IMMIGRANT!

Tennessee officials will pay $835,000 to settle a lawsuit filed by Larry Bushart who was jailed for more than a month over a Facebook post he made about the murder of conservative activist racist and asshat Charlie Kirk. Bushart, a retired police officer, spent 37 days behind bars before authorities dropped the felony charge against him in October; Bushart now says:

“I am pleased my First Amendment rights have been vindicated. The people’s freedom to participate in civil discourse is crucial to a healthy democracy. I am looking forward to moving on and spending time with my family.”

A win for Free Speech!

Caesar Romeo van den Idsert is an internationally recognized fashion model, six-foot-one, with blonde and blue eyes … Romeo, Romeo, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Carlos and I got into a discussion of those faux christians—small c—who are really the problem with religion because they believe they’re job is set others on the straight and narrow, rather than just worrying about themselves and inflicting their beliefs on others.

 Carlos muttered something about ear wax and how they don’t listen and I said:

“Huh?”

“Wax fills their ears and they cannot hear.”

“Where is all this wax coming from?”

“All the candles.”

“So, their lack of understanding comes from ears full of wax because churches have too many candles.”

“Exactly.”

“I’ll pray for you.”

And I did.

This Tuxedo Says is from May 2021:

We have no idea exactly how old Tuxedo is. When we rescued him from an animal hospital Carlos managed in Miami, he was a grown-assed cat, so I’m thinking he was a year or more then. We’ve lived in Camden for almost fifteen years [at the time of this post], and had him for about a year or so before that, so he’s seventeen? Eighteen? Just a guess.

And he’s getting older. He has issues with his kidneys and is on a special diet, which he actually loves; and he’s so smart that he will not even bother with the “other cat’s” food but will wait for his meals. He’s also lost some muscle mass in his back legs and so he is no longer a jumper. That cat that used to jump to a high closet shelf, a bathroom counter, a high bed, now doesn’t jump at all, and when he wants to sit in my lap, he puts his front paws on my knee and I hoist him up.

However, he still loves sitting in a windowsill on a sunny morning, and the sills at Casa Bob y Carlos are about 14 inches off the ground but even that’s too high for him; and, because some vicious person declawed him before we saved him, he has no front claws to help him up. So, again, he’s very smart, he uses his paws to grab the sill and then stretches his legs out so that his, what I would call forearms, are on the sill, and he lifts himself onto the sill, and then naps.

Breaks my heart, but he makes do and is still a loving sweet smart boy.

Goddess I miss that cat …

Diane Keaton was one of my favorite actors and from watching her interviews one of my favorite kinds of people. I loved her style, her hats and her joie de vivre. She passed away last weekend quite suddenly leaving behind two children.

RIP ... and thank you.

We have begun the kitchen remodel and, as you can see from the top photo, that’s the ‘old’ kitchen on the morning of demo.

We have moved the dishes and pots and pans to the dining room, and the food from the cupboards to boxes in the dining room. The coffee maker and expresso machine, as well as the microwave, are in the laundry room. In the morning Carlos makes the rounds from dining room—for oatmeal—to the torn-out kitchen—for milk—to the laundry room—to make the café con leche.

It's a journey but hopefully we’ll be 90% done by sometime next week.

PS That’s the demolished kitchen below along with a photo of the stone we picked out for the countertops.

Kim Kardastrophe who never met a thirst trap she didn’t want to dive into has come up with a new product: her company, Skims, announced that they would be entering the merkin market, launching a line of thongs named ‘The Ultimate Bush.’

The collection of thongs features a variety of hair textures and tones attached to the front and the collection was launched via a campaign video set on a retro 1970s-style game show called ‘Does the Capet Match the Drapes’  with the tagline:

“With our daring new Faux Hair Panty, your carpet can be whatever color you want it to be.”

Like I said, thirsty for attention.

Y’all remember we had the skylights removed in the sunroom. And since we had to have the ceiling replaced, I opted to change the color form the light blue to a more vibrant one and since I was changing that color why not paint over the yellow walls with a more vibrant green.

The new paint choices were taken from the Golden Girls Rattan Chairs we’ve had for eons!

Rosita is confused by the kitchen being empty and the breakfast table in the sunroom and their food dishes in a new spot, too. And so when I came into the living room one morning she was under a chair resting her chin on the stretched bar between the two legs.

She seems spent.

This is Gianluca Vallata. He’s six feet tall. He might be from Istanbul, he might not be. I know nothing about him, but Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Since Carlos’ eyesight has gotten worse I have taken over the banking and paying bills and such. The other morning I was going to drop him off at court for a translation and then head to the cabinet make and give them a downpayment for our new kitchen and said to Carlos:

“I transferred $10,000 from savings t checking this morning—”

“TEN THOUSAND!!! For what?”

“For what? The first payment for the new cabinets, or maybe for my trip to the Bahamas—”

“You’re going to the Bahamas?”

See what I deal with?

This Tuxedo Says is from April 2021:

 I mean, come on. Tuxedo can’t even vote or fire a gun and he understands this nonsense. Sheesh!

Robert Redford passed away this week at 89; a great actor, filmmaker and humanitarian, he’s like the last movie star … Barefoot in the Park … Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid … The Sting … All the President’s Men … The Candidate … The Way We Were …. Ordinary People .. The Natural … The Milagros Beanfield War … Quiz Show … and so many more, including producing a great TV show, Dark Winds. His movies often helped explain America to Americans and off screen he worked tirelessly for environmental causes and fostered the Sundance-centered independent film movement.

And he was hot, too.

I have been tasked with painting the new ceiling in the sunroom and started the project last Friday. On Saturday I was going to finish the primer coat and then start on the new color but I decided to change the sheets on the bed first. I grabbed a sheet, walked around the bed and then jammed my pinky toe against a bedpost and, yes, I now have a broken toe … black-and-blue and painful AF.

Sunday morning as I limped into the kitchen Carlos said:

“You gonna paint the ceiling today or should I have Alex come by and do it?”

Not a word about the toe, just the paint, and would I like to climb up a ladder and paint the top of the peak which is about 14 feet up.

He’s lucky I didn’t break his toe.

According to the GOP who are painting themselves as the poster asshats for civil discourse the Democrats must stop calling Republicans fascists but Republicans can still call Democrats communists, socialists, the enemy within, radical left Marxists …

Make it make sense. Never mind, it's the GOP, and they don't make sense.

Jennifer Lopez popped on a blond wig and, in her continuing thirst for attention, spewed photos of herself all over social media. Sadly, many of the people who saw the photos on her Instagram page were wondering why she was posting photos of Gwen Stefani.

Oh, Jell-O—as Carlos calls her—you are so high maintenance and thirty for social media clicks that you actually had someone hold the camera for the “selfies” you posted.

PS That’s the real G-Stef down there and not Jell-O.

The other day President Cankles said, and rightly so, that “smart people” don’t like him.

Crazy, but true and even better is the fact that he keeps insulting his base as being stupid and it’s completely lost on them.

As I was at the cabinet-makers on Monday paying the down payment, I sat and chatted with a couple of the women who worked in the front office and I am not exactly sure of all that I said, but both women have invited me back every Monday morning for another comedy performance so their week can start off fun.

Andreas Giesen is an actor and dancer and social media influencer and if that isn’t enough he wants to know: Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

So we’ve had the roof repaired and replaced over the sunroom after having the skylights removed, but now we need to decide what to do with the ceiling inside the sunroom.

The ceiling had originally been these roughhewn wood panels that I painted a light blue when we moved in, but we cannot het that same wood and  it’s cheaper just to get something new. So our contractor called and wanted to discuss the new ceiling and I said I wanted beadboard that I would then paint blue. He said we’d have to decide how to finish it along the walls … one-by-two-inch straps, a coved molding, quarter round, regular crown or shoe molding … I said probably quarter round was best and we hung up. Carlos looked at me and said:

“Why are you and Craig talking about moldy shoes? I thought we were talking about the ceiling.”

I adore that man.

Here’s Tuxedo, still in lockdown mode, from January 2021:

I seriously hope he’s only thinking of the dog. I mean, he wouldn’t want to quarantine without me, would he? I’m worried …

The other day on Mitchell’s blog, Moving With Mitchell, he talked about a dinner of Salmorejo, a Spanish cold tomato soup similar to gazpacho. And  David, at The Adventures of Travel Penguin posted a link to the recipe so naturally I wanted to try it because I love Gazpacho,

This soup doesn’t have the veggies in it, it is a simple combination of tomatoes, day old bread torn into pieces, a clove of garlic, olive oil, Sherry vinegar sea salt and pepper pureed and chilled. Before serving, I topped it with a hardboiled egg and some gently crisped prosciutto.

I thought I was making a large batch, but it turned out to be slightly less than 2 bowls, so I did a roasted salmon served over arugula with kalamata olives, tomato, and red onion, with herbs and olive sourdough.

Thanks to Mitchell for the mention, and to Travel for the posted recipe; it was dee-lish, and it looks good too ….

Lisa Murkowski says she feels "cheated" after The Felon removed the tax credits she demanded in the GOP Big Beautiful bill. 

Boo-effing-hoo, Lisa, you trued a con man? You can never trust conman but you can always trust Lisa Murkowski to be a selfish sucker who got played.

I went to the doctor for a basic check-up recently and after the examination, he said to me:

"Don't eat anything fatty."

I said: "Like what, bacon and burgers?"

He said: "No fatty, don't eat anything."

Good night!!!

While performing onstage for her “Up All Night” tour in Europe, JLo seemed to respond to a fan sign that read: “J Lo, marry me?”

And JLo, or as Carlos calls her, Jell-o, perhaps forgot that her last film, Marry Me, was about a singer who was asked by a fan to marry him by holding a sign up at a concert, replied:

“I think I’m done with that. I’ve tried that a few times.”

The thirst is real.

It appears that $85 million a year for PBS is too much for the American people to bear so it’s been cut. And a billion in cuts for child nutrition, and feeding children, is, I’m guessing wasteful. But $100 million a year for a gelatinous tub of cheese to play golf is just fine and dandy and so is $200 million for Leon Skum’s Nazi chatbot.

Have I got that right America? Is that where you want your money spent?

Sacha Bilal is a 23-year-old model from Paris whose career is on the rise, but Would You Hit It?