Bobservations

Carlos is the Absentminded Professor, always has been. Yesterday …YESTERDAY … he said to me:

“I need you to drive me to the statehouse at 10AM because it’s World AIDS Day and I’m speaking.”

“TOMORROW? You never told me about that and I have to work.”

“Tell ‘em you can’t work.”

“At the last minute?”

He blustered about how he thought he told me, he was sure he told me, he knew he told me …. did he tell me? No, he did not, but luckily I have a rapport with my boss because I’m so bloody valuable, that I was able to get the day off, though I will be doing some work from home.

Then … yes, there’s more … I get up early to take Carlos to Columbia and I’m turning on the water to take a shower. I’m stooped over the tub, feeling the water come out of the tap and get hot, and as soon as I have the temperature correct, I turn on the shower … except Carlos had cleaned the bathroom yesterday and when he put the handheld shower head back, he turned it slightly. So, as I turn the shower on a huge spray of icy cold water—it’s 29-degrees here this morning—spewed out onto my head, down my bareback and across my bare ass.

Oy, the screams. It is gonna be a long cold drive to Columbia.

Oh this is such a shame.  I mean, how he’ll ever make back the $25 million of his own money that he put into his campaign?

This week the Senate voted 61-35 to advance the amendment to the Respect for Marriage Act that includes language related to religious liberty and conscience protections under the Constitution and federal law. It would also continue to prohibit polygamous marriage.

This vote puts us one step closer to sending the bill to President Biden.

PS Mitt Romney voted ‘Yes,’ while lifelong “confirmed self-loathing bachelor” Lindsey Graham voted ‘No.’

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about Broderick Hunter Jr. in the Would You Hit It section of this post, and Upton said this:

“re: Broderick Hunter Jr. - I must ask, is there a Broderick Hunter Sr.? I tend to like only original issues.”

And so here is Broderick Hunter Sr. for Upton. Would He Hit It?

I spent my childhood watching "The Sound of Music" and "Cabaret", so I really thought the rise of fascism would have more show tunes.

Kanye West said he’s planning a 2024 presidential run and has tapped far-right provocateur anti-LGBTQ+ homosexual Milo Yiannopoulos to work on his campaign. He has also asked white supremacist Nick Fuentes, with whom he dined at Mar-Illegal with Thing 45, to help him run for office.

Let that sink in … the anti-Semite has asked a an anti-LQBTQ+ queer man and a Nazi to help him run for public office.

Supervisors in Arizona’s Maricopa County voted unanimously to certify their election canvass ahead of a state deadline on Monday, defying Republican objections. The Republican-controlled board … read that again, the Republican-controlled board … ruled that no voter was disenfranchised.

Oh Kari Lake, AKA Thing 45 in a Dress, you’re a loser.

Candace Cameron Bure is the chief creative officer for the Great American Family Channel and is responding to media coverage regarding LGBTQ representation in the network’s programming. See, in a WSJ profile, journalist Ellen Gamerman asked Bure if Great American Family will feature same-sex couples as leads in its holiday content, and she “said no”:

“I think that Great American Family will keep traditional marriage at the core.”

Now, Bure is accusing the media of fanning “flames of conflict and hate” by reporting on her quote.

“I would like to address my comments on Great American Family’s programming … All of you who know me, know beyond question that I have great love and affection for all people. It absolutely breaks my heart that anyone would ever think I intentionally would want to offend and hurt anyone.”

Great love and affection but your marriages don’t matter and deserve no recognition.

Fuck off, Candy.

I find Trevor Noah hotter than hot … that’s all … that’s the post. I mean, the wit, the intelligence, that smile, the accent, it all reminds me of someone, but that’s unimportant. Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

The other day, while in our home office working on this here blog thingy, Carlos appeared at the door, an envelope in hand:

“Is there something you need to tell me?”

“I don’t think so. Why?”

“This came in the mail for you. It’s a renewal from for membership to the NRA.”

"What the … lemme see that!”

I took it from him and, sure enough, it was a renewal form for the NRA; but there was something else … I said to Carlos:

“Do you know me?”

"Yes, but—”

“You know me? What’s my name?”

"What? I don’t—”

“I’m your husband, Bob, and this is addressed to Richard Thornhill who lives two doors down!”

“Oh.”

Oh.

This week George Conway, husband of _____ lapdog Kellyanne, suggested in a tweet that _____ was guilty of witness tampering in the Mueller investigation. And the Dumb _____, Eric, didn’t like that, and accused Conway of showing “utter disrespect” towards his wife:

“Of all the ugliness in politics, the utter disrespect George Conway shows toward his wife, her career, place of work, and everything she has fought SO hard to achieve, might top them all. [Kellyanne] is great person and frankly his actions are horrible.”

Seriously? Eric _____, son of Donald, is going to school someone on how to be a good husband?

His own father cheated on his mother, announced, while still married to Eric’s mom, that his new mistress was the “best sex” he’d ever had, but cheated on that mistress-turned wife with a mistress who became his third wife, and cheated on her with porn stars and beauty pageant contestants. And George Conway disrespected his wife?

Take a seat, Eric, you’re an idiot.

PS Any man who defrauds a children’s cancer fund out of millions of dollars really shouldn’t discuss anyone’s character.

Ass.

I wasn’t a fan of 41, and openly reviled W, but every chance I get to see W interact with Michelle Obama makes me smile a little more … like at the funeral yesterday when he greeted her and slipped a piece of candy into her hand as she had to him at McCain’s funeral.

I loved that. And I loved the look on Melanie’s face; clearly, she’s never seen a random act of kindness.

And, I, too, got choked up when W choked up at the end of his eulogy. I know the loss of a parent and he reminded me of that yesterday.

In Sorry, Not Sorry News …after the 9/11, for a hot second, Rudy Giuliani was considered the most popular mayor in the country, but things have changed in the intervening years.

It appears that a planned 25th anniversary celebration of Giuliani’s election win was cancelled due to a lack of interest, with party planners struggling to find guests to attend, or anyone to speak favorably of Rudy.

Poor man, he tried to turn the deaths of 3,000 Americans into a political dynasty, and all he got was the pleasure of being _____’s little whipping boy.

Sorry, not sorry.

In Karma Is A Bitch I’d Like To Have Cocktails With … gay alt-right asshat Milo Yiannopoulos is more than $2 million in debt.

He apparently owes $1.6m to his own company, $400,000 to the Mercers, $153,215 to his former lawyers, $76,574 to former collaborator Allum Bokhari, and $20,000 to the luxury jewelry brand Cartier.

Take a seat, Karma, the first round is on me!

Last week Starbucks announced that they’re going to be installing a blocker on the WiFi in all of their U.S. stores to prevent people from accessing porn site while sipping a Pumpkin Spiced latte and choking their Pumpkin Spiced Chicken.

In retaliation, the management team at YouPorn has banned all Starbucks products from their offices.

So, apparently no one will be spanking the monkey while drinking a half decaf, half caf, skim, double foam, triple macchiato with caramel sauce.

Yes, I am an Awards Show Queen™. I love all of them, even the People’s Choice, er, E! People’s Choice Awards—okay, I kid about that, I loathe that show. But the Oscars? C’mon; I live for Oscar night.

But this year the Oscars have chosen one of my least favorite performers of all time to host the show: Kevin Hart. Some folks think he’s funny; he’s not. Some folks think he’s talented; he’s not.

What he is, is a man who cheated on his pregnant wife, lied about it, made fun of the cheating rumors, then admitted the rumors were true.

In the era of #MeToo the Oscars have picked an adulterer to host their big show.

Oh, and he makes gay jokes because, you know, gay is funny … to little men who cheat on their wives like Kevin Hart.

Of course, I’ll still watch, but I’ll fast forward through Kevin Hart.

More Sorry, Not Sorry? Okay … last week Broward Sheriff’s Office SWAT member Matt Patten wore a QAnon conspiracy-theory patch while greeting Vice President Michael Elizabeth Pence at the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.

This week Patten was reprimanded and demoted from the SWAT team and BSO’s Office of Homeland Security.

For the uninitiated, QAnon is an internet conspiracy theory that claims _____ is secretly working to arrest a small group of high-level pedophiles in Hollywood and the Democratic Party.

But Pence allowed himself to be photographed with the asshat, until the story went viral and then he deleted the snapshot.

So, here it is …

I know Trump's go-to posture is "arms crossed" over his prominent gut, but at the funeral of a President?

Sad, pathetic, lonely, pitiful, hate-filled, bloated man.

Two hotties this week … one political, and one Scottish; yeah, I know that makes no sense… sue me.

Anyway, Brian Tyler Cohen is an actor and host of Occupy Democrats on Facebook; he’s dreamy, a Democrat, and politically savvy. What’s not to love?

Then there’s Richard Rankin, who plays Roger Wakefield on Outlander. He’s dreamy and Scottish; what’s not to love?

See, there is a connection!

I Didn't Say It ...

Milo Yiannopoulos, the self-loathing openly gay man-child, has encouraged Australians to vote ‘No’ to equal marriage:

“My gut would be to vote against it. I’m gay and a Catholic. The highest priority for me is making sure no church, no believer anywhere, is required to violate their religious conscience. I think those things can co-exist perfectly peacefully. I think the state probably should recognize a gay couple who want to commit to one another. But the paramount consideration is not those gay couples – it is religious freedom.”

I can see his point, if he’s that concerned about religion, which I doubt, but ... Yiannopoulos made these statements just three weeks after marrying his partner, John.

So, you know, fuck off, Milo, you’re a little hypocritical man seeking attention.

How sad.

photo

John McCain, not so subtly bashing _____ for being a draft-dodger:

“One aspect of the conflict, by the way, that I will never ever countenance is that we drafted the lowest-income level of America, and the highest-income level found a doctor that would say that they had a bone spur. That is wrong. That is wrong. If we are going to ask every American to serve, every American should serve.”

As you may know, _____deferred the draft five times, four while he was in school and the fifth for bone spurs.

You know, his feet hurt.

photo

Elton John, blasting Georgia GOP Congresswoman Betty Price, after she suggested people with HIV be quarantined:

“Price’s comments about people living with HIV are horrific, discriminatory, and astonishingly ill-informed. As a doctor and elected official from a state where people are still contracting HIV at an alarming rate, Mrs. Price should know better than to demonize people and perpetuate myths that stigmatize people living with HIV. Her words smack of a dark time when there was little or no information about HIV and people were afraid of each other. Today, thanks to scientific advancements, growing acceptance and love, people living with HIV are living longer, healthier lives. We also know people living with HIV pose no public threat.”

The only public threat I see is electing ignorant people like Betty Price to any public office.

photo

Myeshia Johnson, widow of La David Johnson, one of four soldiers killed in Niger, criticizing _____ how he spoke to her during a condolence:

“He couldn’t remember my husband’s name. The only way he remembered my husband’s name is because he had my husband’s report in front of him and that’s when he actually said ‘La David.’ I heard him stumbling on trying to remember my husband’s name. And that’s what hurt me the most. If my husband is out here fighting for our country, and he risked his life for our country, why can’t you remember his name?”

Simply put, _____ doesn’t care because he knows nothing of service to his country.

photo

Newt Gingrich, suggesting that _____ have a boxing match with Representative Maxine Waters:

“First of all, let me just say — you’d never get it to happen, but the idea of a round between her and Donald Trump is pretty interesting.”

Seriously? Politicians have differences and you go right to boxing match?

Go away, Newt, don’t you have a wife to cheat on?

photo

Jeff Flake, continuing his attacks on _____ after the so-called president blasted him on Twitter:

“How many more disgraceful public feuds with Gold Star families can we witness in silence before we ourselves are disgraced? How many more times will we see moral ambiguity in the face of shocking bigotry and shrug it off? How many more childish insults do we need to see hurled at a hostile foreign power before we acknowledge the senseless danger of it? How much more damage to our democracy and to the institutions of American liberty do we need to witness in silence before we count ourselves as complicit in that damage? Nine months of this administration is enough for us to stop pretending that this is somehow normal, and that we are on the verge of some sort of pivot to governing, to stability. Nine months is more than enough for us to say, loudly and clearly: Enough. The outcome of this is in our hands. We can no longer remain silent, merely observing this train wreck, passively, as if waiting for someone else to do something. The longer we wait, the greater the damage, the harsher the judgment of history.”

I’ve been thinking about that battle cry at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic and gay activism about AIDS, Silence = Death.

It’s true in this case, too, because silence will get us nowhere; silence will continue to let _____ run roughshod over our country while the GOP, a tribe of hypocrisy, does nothing about him.

That’s why We The People need to stop being silent, and start speaking up and demanding our elected officials do something, or vote each and every complicit asshat out of office.

photo

Random Musings

We survived Irma, especially since she took a hard left at Georgia, but we did get some heavy rains and some scary winds; the rain I’m good with, but having a house surrounded by a few hundred trees in a windstorm? Not so much.

Still, she’s gone ... and even though Jose is lingering out there, he’s expected to stay away; for now.

James Woods is a has-been actor whose days are spent trolling the internet blasting people with his conservative ideology ... er, idiot-ology.

Case in point: Woods went after Armie Hammer’s new movie, Call Me By Your Name, which features Hammer as a 24-year old American scholar who kinda sorta falls in love with a 17-year-old boy played by Timothee Chalamet. Woods, in a Tweet, accused the film of “quietly chip[ping] away the last barriers of decency” and then, for extra added oomph, he hashtagged the Tweet with #NAMBLA [North American Man Boy Love Association].

But Armie Hammer—who is oooooh soooo hot—wasn’t having James Woods at all and Tweeted back:

“Didn’t you date a 19-year-old when you were 60……?”

And it’s true, except Woods replaced his 19-year-old girlfriend with a 20-year-old-girlfriend, when he was 66.

And then actress Amber Tamblyn Tweeted that James Woods once came on to her and asked her to go to Vegas with him; when she told him she was sixteen he replied, “Even better.”

Oh, Woods, you old pervert; sit down, you’re no longer needed here.

For all those deplorables out there who think there’s nothing to RussiaGate, hear this:

Robert Mueller is expected to question six White House aides in the investigation, including adviser Hope Hicks, former press secretary Sean Spicer and former chief of staff Reince Priebus, who, along with White House Counsel Donald McGahn, have hired Quinn Emanuel Urquhart & Sullivan LLP partner William Burck to advise them in special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation.

Lawyering up, eh?

On the other side of the coin ... I’m glad Hillary Clinton wrote a book to detail What Happened regarding the last presidential election, but I do wish she’s quit laying blame all over the place. Sure, she takes some herself, but between Bernie and Comey and _____it’s all a bit too much.

You lost, dear, and I for one am sorry, but we need to move on and not wallow in the past.

Back to Irma ... I am so annoyed the weatherpeople, and newspeople, editorializing about a storm rather than just giving me the facts.

It’ll be devastating.

People will die,

You can’t get out.

Look, you’re ‘news’ people, so give me the news and save your opinions and hyperbole for someone else, m’kay?

So, while we awaited Irma’s arrival,. We caught up on some movies that I really had no desire to see in the theater, but now that I saw them on TV, I found that I liked them.

First up, The Revenant, starring Leonardo DiCaprio; I was worried it was gonna be a little like Castaway in the cold North, especially when DiCaprio’s character got a canteen with a design on it. I thought he’d name it Wilson and start talking to it—Spoiler Alert: he did not—and it was a really good movie, though part of the reason was Domhnall Gleeson, top left, a hot bearded ginger in the wild.

We also watched The 33 about the Chilean miners who were trapped when their mine collapsed; I thought I knew the whole story but it was far more than I had thought, especially given that it also starred Rodrigo Santoro, top right, as a smoking hot government official. I have had a not –so –soft spot for Rodrigo for years and he never disappoints.

And lastly, Outlander started up again this weekend with another Hot Ginger, San Heughan, bottom left, who often wears a kilt and sometimes wears nothing at all. Also in the show is Tobias Menzies, bottom right,  who just sparks my engine for reasons I can’t qoite grasp, but I don’t mind.

So, those are the weeks Hotties, with one last look at the fine Rodrigo Santoro.

GOP Congressman Tim Murphy has publicly admitted to having an extramarital affair with a personal friend, coming clean hours after the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette prevailed in a court motion to unseal a divorce action and reveal the news themselves.

Murphy is not a party to the divorce, but last July the husband in the case, Jesse Sally, sought to depose Murphy as part of his divorce from Shannon Edwards.

No big deal, except ... hypocrisy. Murphy voted against the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, against the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act, against the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and for a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.

He never wanted equality for The Gays because married is so scared, but he has no problem screwing another man’s wife.

Oh, and in more GOP anti-LGBT news ... the _____ administration has sided with Colorado bigot baker Jack Phillips who refused to bake a cake for a same-sex couple. And so _____ had the Department of Justice file an amicus brief in Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission. The DOJ has already made its hostility to the rights of LGBT people crystal clear, and now _____ is advocating for a constitutional right to discriminate.

I wonder how he’d feel if a baker refused to bake a cake for a bigot president ... or a sexual groper president ... or a lying piece of shi ... president?

Oops. Josh “The Sister Diddler” Duggar is headed for a jury trial in the Ashley Madison lawsuit brought against him by DJ and model, Matthew McCarthy, who is seeking damages after Duggar allegedly used his image on the adult website. McCarthy says Duggar stole his image for use on Ashley Madison and OkCupid to solicit sex.

Plus, Josh Duggar is some pasty-looking pervert and Matthew McCarthy is kinda hot. I mean, imagine you’re the woman who saw Matthew McCarthy’s photo on some married man dating/hook-up site and you thought, ‘Wow, he’s hot,’ and so you make the call to meet and when you arrive at some seedy motel on some backwoods highway, you find pudgy, pasty, pervy Duggar?

Oy. Scrub me with bleach!

Milo Yiannopoulous, the poster boy for Self-Loathing, the anti-gay gay man, the Alt-right wingnut, has once again put his foot in his mouth ... when, really, it belongs in his ass, has revealed that he lost his home to Hurricane Irma.

It all began after he mocked the storm on Facebook, writing:

“In more positive Irma news, Richard Branson’s Necker Island has been devastated.”

... and ...

“Irma is about to finish what Hillary started: leaving Haiti in ruins.”

But then Irma came for this internet troll who attacks minorities, encourages his follower—yes, follower—to attack minorities, which lead to him being permanently banned from Twitter, and, as Miss Milo told us earlier this week:

 “MY HOUSE IS GONE”.

Oh, so sad, but Karma is a bitch names Irma, asshat.

I have a vivid, sometimes borderline frightful imagination.

Last week Carlos spotted a hole in the ground while mowing the lawn. He told me that maybe it was a sinkhole starting up. I said it looked more like a gopher hole. But, that night, as I drifted off to sleep in the master bedroom, very near the sink/gopher hole, I began to wonder if it might open up and swallow the house with me in it.

And, since I have this irrational feel of being unable to move or unable to breath—do not ­bury me alive—I thought maybe I ought to get a knife and sleep with it so when the sinkhole swallowed me up I could end it all before the full-on panic set it and scared me to death.

I told this story to a friend who said:

“Why not just sleep with a shovel and you can dig your way out?”

Imagine Carlos’ face when I brought a shovel to bed that night.