I Didn't Say It

Dan Crenshaw, Texas GOP Congressman, jumped on the Boycott Bud Light bandwagon in a video and showed us all that he’s just another clueless fool:

“Saw Bud Light’s stupid ad campaign, so guess what we’re going to do? We’re going to throw out every single Bud Light we’ve got in the fridge. Alright, well I guess that was easy.”

Oops, no Bud Light in the fridge to throw out because it was filled with Karbach beer … owned by Bud Light parent company Anheuser-Busch.

I was gonna make a joke about the eye patch hindering his ability to see his own ignorance, but I won’t.

Oops.

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Ron DeSantis, on being Bitch Slapped by Mickey:

“Now that the Disney has reopened this issue we’re not just going to void the development agreement they tried to do. We’re going to look at things, like taxes on the hotels, we’re going to look at things like tolls on the roads, we’re going to look at things like developing some of the property that the district owns. They are not superior to the people of Florida. So come hell or high water we’re going to make sure that policy of Florida carries the day. They can keep trying to do things. But ultimately we’re going to win on every single issue involving Disney, I can tell you that.”

Let me allow the Orlando Sentinel to respond, as they did in an editorial this week, asking DeSantis to go back to:

“Running a massive state government where people are dying every day of drug overdoses and mass shootings that you barely acknowledge. Where school boards across the state are grimly awaiting the final price tag of the economically reckless voucher bill you just signed. Where insurance rates are skyrocketing and damage claims from back-to-back hurricanes are being summarily denied. Where, every day, we’re discovering more cracks your machinations have inflicted on the fundamental integrity of Florida’s own government. If Disney executives had responded to DeSantis in the same vengeful vein—by pulling back even a small fraction of the resources the company has invested in Florida—the economic wreckage could have been massive.”

Then the paper Disney’s response to DeSantis “elegant and witty” and said, if anything, DeSantis has created a “situation where Disney has more control, and potentially more secrecy, than it ever did.”

Snap.

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Lindsey Graham, confirmed bachelor, lying about pro-choice Democrats on Fox News … again:

“I’m very pro-life, and I think being pro-life is a winning message. I oppose late-term abortions. I have a bill to set a national minimum standard of 15 weeks. 50 of the 53 European nations ban abortion at 15 weeks. I have an exception for rape, incest, and life of the mother. … The Democratic solution when it comes to abortion is taxpayer-funded abortion up to the moment of birth. That’s barbaric. That’s like China. That’s like North Korea. We can win this issue at the ballot box if we show up with reasonable positions.”

You can’t win, ma’am, because you’re a pandering lying twazcock.

Pro-life isn’t a winning message; allowing women to make their own choices about their own bodies and their own healthcare without the input of an ambiguously—well not so much—gay, lifelong bachelor is a winning message.

Look at Wisconsin, dumbass.

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Will Cain, Fox & Friends host, lying about that protest by Democrats in the Tennessee statehouse:

“I’m listening to President Biden, and I’m just trying to understand—and I’m going to feign some inability to understand this because I fully get that the use of protecting democracy or accusing something of being undemocratic is just a proxy for ‘I want you to lose.’ So during January 6th, people condemn-ably rioted and stormed the Capitol and it is described as undemocratic. In Tennessee, people stormed the Capitol, interrupted the democratic process, and used bullhorns. And if you punish them, that’s undemocratic. It’s undemocratic as long as it is in disfavor with Joe Biden.”

Will? You’re an ass.

On 1/6 violent extremists broke into the US Capitol building; broke into private offices of Senators and Congresspeople; some of them were arm; some of them smeared their feces along the walls; some of them attacked police officers; some of them stole private property.

In Tennessee, a peaceful protest occurred with no violence, no injury, no death, but one young Congressman was kicked out of the statehouse because he used a bull horn.

One of these things is nothing like the other and for you to suggest they are the same is so totally Fox News Lies of you.

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You Can’t Fix Stupid ... A Post in Three Parts

Mondays are the worst and when you throw in special does of Stupid from around the world, it makes it all the harder to crawl out of bed in the morning. But here we go …

Part 1: Fox News host Dagen McDowell “wouldn’t bang” Beto O’Rourke—and I imagine this pleases him no end—the Democrat running for governor of Texas but she can explain the popularity of Pete Davidson, saying he’s funny.

Yes, a political pundit whittles down a candidate’s likability to whether or not she would have sex with him; and that makes me wonder how McDowell would feel about a man saying a female politician isn’t “bangable” in his eyes.

And if this doesn’t make McDowell seem like one of the dumbest people on the planet, she also swears that Fox News isn’t “playing down” the Capitol riot and says all Americans “have healthcare."

She dumb.

Part 2: Across the pond, over there to the England, Nick Fletcher, a Conservative MP, opened an International Men’s Day debate by suggesting that replacing traditionally male characters with women drives men to commit crimes.

Oh, but he did. Fletcher said that society needs to find a way to celebrate masculinity rather than “continually vilify” it:

“One only needs to look at the discussions around who will play the next James Bond. And it’s not just James Bond. In recent years we have seen Doctor Who, Ghostbusters, Luke Skywalker, the Equalizer, all replaced by women. Is it any wonder we are seeing so many young men committing crimes?”

Yes, he blames Melissa McCarthy, Leslie Johnson, and Doctor Who star Jodie Whittaker   for men becoming criminals.

Part 3: According to Fox & Friends, South Africa, the World Health Organization [WHO], the Democratic Party, and the Biden administration are all part of a massive conspiracy to keep Democrats in power by routinely introducing new variants of the Coronavirus.

Rachel Campos-Duffy, who never met an idiotic thought she didn’t want to share, says:

“[Biden] has said we can’t fix the supply chain problem until the pandemic is over, until Covid is over.”

Her co-host, Will Cain, never one to be out-dumbed, mumbled:

“Always a new variant.”

And then Pete Hegseth, not wanting to be left out of The Crazy, added:

“You can count on a variant about every October, every two years.”

Yes, these Three Stooges think the Democrats, in cahoots with an entire country and WHO will “invent” new variants before elections to gain an advantage.

But they forget the Democrats weren’t in power last year, that there has only been one October since the pandemic started, and that their own network tried to make COVID a political point for Thing 45, except he killed 500,000 Americans with his incompetence, which is why Biden won the White House.

But yes, by all means play this card.