i Ain't One to Gossip But ...

Wow, this bitch … this past week embattled “Housewife” Erika Jayne seemed to compare herself to Jesus Christ over the public scrutiny she’s faced for her ongoing legal troubles in which she looks like a con artist stealing money from widows and orphans.

A “fan” of the grifter posted a message to social media implying that being slammed in the court of public opinion is the same as Jesus being crucified on the cross:

And Erika Jayne liked being compared to Jesus until people started coming for her:

“Erika Jayne comparing herself to Christ is … absolutely insane.  This woman has lost her damn mind.”

“Erika Jayne is pulling a Vicki Gunvalson comparing her own (self imposed) drama to the crucifixion of Christ….. Girl PUHLEASEEEEEEE”

And because Erika is a vindictive child she battled back with this:

Oh Erika, you aren’t anything near Christ-like. You stayed married for over twenty years to a man who paid for your every whim, like being an aging pop star, and when he slipped some $25 million in your LLC bank account, that you knew wasn’t yours, you spent it willingly.

And you only left your husband minutes before the scandal broke that he was stealing from victims of an airplane crash.

Again, not Christ-like.

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There’s a simple rule about comedy: don’t try it unless you know you’re funny. Amirite, Barbara Corcoran?

Corcoran is feeling the heat after a body shaming “joke” about Whoopi Goldberg on the View. It happened last week when Corcoran, a Shark Tank judge visited the show with Good American CEO and founder Emma Grede, who is set to become the first Black, female guest shark on Shark Tank. During their conversation, The View co-host Sunny Hostin raved about Good American‘s size-inclusive jeans, and Whoopi Goldberg, a comedian, made a joke, saying:

“Will they fit this COVID [butt]?”

Barbara responded with:

“When you get finished with those jeans, and decide you don’t like them, give them to me. I’m gonna make two pairs.” 

The camera then panned to Whoopi, who looked both shocked and unamused, while co-host, and No Fucks Left To Give, Ana Navarro jumped in to defend her and threw a jab at the floral-print dress Barbara was wearing.

“Whoopi, let me just tell you something. Both Sara Haines and Jill Biden wore [Corcoran’s] dress already, on TV.” 

Lessons learned:

Barbara Corcoran should leave the so-called comedy to the comedians.

Fat-shaming anyone, even a comedian, is not a joke.

Ana Navarro will always have your back.

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After the film adaptation of his original production of Cats flopped in theaters in 2019, receiving a litter of scathing reviews, Andrew Lloyd Webber got a therapy dog:

“I saw [Cats], and I just thought, ‘Oh, God, no!’ It was the first time in my 70-odd years on this planet that I went out and bought a dog. So the one good thing to come out of it is my little Havanese puppy.”

I didn’t see Cats because I’m trying to cut out cheese, but I heard a lot of people needed therapy after watching the film.

Sidenote—and this slays me: after spending the entire lockdown together, Lloyd Webber petitioned to have the dog allowed on a plane, and when the airline asked if he could “prove” that he needed the dog, Lloyd said:

“Yes, just see what Hollywood did to my musical Cats."

To which they responded with:

“No doctor’s report required.”

Snap.

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Katie Couric really has nothing new going on, so she wrote a book, Going There, in which she trashes just about everyone.

She says Prince Harry reeked of alcohol and cigarettes when she met him at a polo match decades ago during his hard partying days.

She sang a stupid song to the Martha Stewart and when she didn’t laugh, Katie dubber her a humorless C U Next Tuesday.

She writes about a 2010 dinner at Jeffrey Epstein’s house with Prince Andrew, Chelsea Handler, Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn, George Stephanopoulos and Charlie Rose, and says her seventeen years younger boyfriend, remarked how young the women were who took their coats, and says:

“I couldn’t imagine what Epstein and Andrew were up to, apart from trying to cultivate friends in the media. Which, in retrospect, they must have figured they’d need when the pedophilia charges started rolling in.”]

Um, Katie, in 2010, before you accepted his invite, Epstein had already been convicted and served time for procuring a child for prostitution, so your now faux outrage doesn’t fit.

Couric, who covered for Today co-host Deborah Norville in 1991 when Norville took maternity leave, says she got Norville’s job because Norville was “too pretty” at a time in the morning when people were still getting ready for the day.

Norville was too pretty? How feminist of you, Katie.

Katie saw Today as her “turf” and kept an eye on any woman who was “younger and cuter” like Ashleigh Banfield whose “father was telling anyone who’d listen that she was going to replace me.”

Banfield has already hit back at the lie, saying that at the time she was reporting from a war zone in Afghanistan and her father made a comment that he’d like to have NBC give Ashleigh a desk job, and to Katie that was an assault.

Other targets in Katie’s book include Joan Rivers, possibly because Joan saw through her and hated her; she says she once went on a date with Michael Jackson and said he had a hand like a dead fish; she slams  Neil Simon, whom she also dated, because he was ALLEGEDLY too old, or too turned off, to fuck; she says Larry King once came at her tongue-first and tried to jump her bones.

And she especially loathed her rival Diane Sawyer as the two battled to be the top star in morning TV news and told her bosses:

"That woman must be stopped."

Couric says she and Sawyer battled over interviews and talks about the time Katie got an exclusive with two teens who had been abducted because her team pointed out that she was a widowed mother of two girls, while Sawyer was just a stepmother. 

And then she has the balls to say that Sawyer’s interview with the late Whitney Houston was exploitative, and that Sawyer used Houston's personal troubles to get good sound bites. 

But, and this is rich, she actually texted “I love you and care about you deeply” to serial predator Matt Lauer after he was fired for sexual harassment.

Tying it all up, Katie Couric hates women who are younger and prettier, funnier, more talented, but dines with child rapists and loves sexual predators.

Little Miss Perky is also quite a bitch, apparently.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

If you have so much money that you pull a stunt like this, maybe you should think of giving away most of your coins, m’kay?

Realtor, and Shark Tank judge, Barbara Corcoran threw herself a 70th birthday party and the theme of the party was funeral chic. To that end, Babs bought, or maybe rented, a coffin so she could celebrate her own funeral. Party … party? … guests arrived at a Fifth Avenue penthouse to find Corcoran lying in a coffin in a red gown with flowers on either side of her and a cardboard cutout of her as a nun.

Like I said, those coins could have been put to better use.

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Again, not a surprise to loyal ISBL readers, but I simply loathe Oprah Winfrey … and not just because she thinks avocados are too expensive, so she bought herself an avocado grove.

Oprah, because when she isn’t talking about food, is talking about herself, is revealing why she “stepped away” from being a 60 Minutes correspondent … the producers asked her to tome down her, ahem, Oprah-ness. I guess they were annoyed that, during the opening credits, she would bellow:

“I’m Oprah Winfrey. I’M OPRAH. WINFREY. OPRAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WINFREYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

Yeah, I don’t blame ‘em.

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Tori Spelling has dodged a bullet and will not, apparently, be arrested for being a deadbeat after all.

That bench warrant, which was issued for her arrest at the beginning of April, has been dropped. April warrants bring May … deposition?

Tori and Dean McDermott are fighting with City National Bank over some failed payments on a $400,000 loan–they still owe more than $250,000—and Spelling was supposed to show up to a court hearing to deal with the mess, but she said she was busy in Israel promoting children’s clothes with her BFF Jennie Garth.

But next week Tori will be deposed about all of her financial problems, her assets, and her income. A creditor will then comb through all of Tori and Dean’s bad choices and figure out how to make the billionaire’s deadbeat daughter and son-in-law pay their debts.

Fingers crossed that Luke Perry-less 90210 reboot gets a green light cuz Tori really needs the coins … for her debt, or for bail.

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I always thought Ricky Schroder was one of the few child stars who made it into adulthood without being a screw-up, but it appears that maybe Ricky waited until he was an adult before going off the deep end.

Last week Ricky was arrested for felony domestic violence … for the second time in one month … and now he’s sitting in jail for ALLEGEDLY hitting his girlfriend.

It seems police were called at 12:43 AM for a domestic incident at the NYPD Blue and Silver Spoons star’s home and shortly thereafter he was arrested for felony domestic violence … just 30 days after the LA County Sheriff’s Department made the exact same arrest on April 2nd. During that  incident, Ricky ALLEGEDLY “punched his girlfriend in the face as she tried to leave their home”.

A couple of years ago Schroder’s wife filed for divorce, and sought custody of their remaining minor child, after 24 years of marriage.

Even more telling, Schroder hasn’t worked in the last two years. Apparently, all his time has been … has been … devoted to getting divorced and hitting his girlfriend?

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I love celebrities who dish the dirt and so I am swooning over Anjelica Huston who gave an interview to Vulture and spilled a lot of tea.

She talks about how she gave up on her friendship with Penny Marshall over air conditioning, baseball hats and coke:

“Her habits conflicted with mine. She stayed up all night smoking cigarettes in subzero temperatures. Her rooms were freezing. Like air-conditioned, way up. She stayed up all night, followed QVC for beanbag dolls and stuff. She had this collection of sports memorabilia. She had a sort of museum in her basement full of signed baseballs and Lakers shirts. I just couldn’t relate. And also, frankly, she took a lot of coke.”

She spills the tea about ex-flame Jack Nicholson being a coke-head …not so much of a surprise, but still:

“[Jack] never took overt amounts. He was never a guzzler. I think Jack sort of used it, probably like Freud did, in a rather smart way. Jack always had a bit of a problem with physical lethargy. He was tired, and I think probably, at a certain age, a little bump would cheer him up. Like espresso.”

Don’t tell that to Starbucks … lest they come up with the Double-Bump Latte.

She also made excuses for Roman Polanski raping a thirteen-year-old girl in the 70s:

“Well, see, it’s a story that could’ve happened ten years before in England or France or Italy or Spain or Portugal, and no one would’ve heard anything about it. And that’s how these guys enjoy their time. It was a whole playboy movement in France when I was a young girl, 15, 16 years old, doing my first collections. You would go to Régine or Castel in Paris, and the older guys would all hit on you. Any club you cared to mention in Europe. It was de rigueur for most of those guys like Roman who had grown up with the European sensibility.”

I had no idea rape was a “European sensibility.” And she also thinks Polanski, who fled this country to avoid prosecution, should be allowed back:

“My opinion is: He’s paid his price, and at the time that it happened, it was kind of unprecedented. This was not an unusual situation. You know that movie An Education with Carey Mulligan? That happened to me. It’s about a schoolgirl in England who falls in love with an older dude, Peter Sarsgaard. My first serious boyfriend I met when he was 42 and I was 18.”

Oh, Angelica, an 18-year-old dating an older man is quite different than a thirteen-year-old being raped. But then she goes back in to dish about Oprah … and I die:

“[Oprah] never had me on her show, ever. She won’t talk to me. The only encounter I’ve had with Oprah was when I was at a party for the Academy Awards, a private residence. I was talking to Clint Eastwood, and she literally came between us with her back to me. So, all of the sudden I was confronted with the back of Oprah’s head.”

And that had to be a huge head.

Finally, she dogs Bill Murray:

“He was a sh-t to me on Life Aquatic. The first week I was there, we were all in this little hotel, and he invited the entire cast to go and have dinner, except me. And everyone came down for dinner, a little dog-faced about my not being invited, and they were all like, ‘Oh, you know, we don’t really want to go.’ That was worse than anything.”

A lot of that was messy and crazy and rape-y, but the dish on Murray and Oprah kinda made my day. As does this last story …

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Remember those drama kids from North Bergen High in New Jersey who staged a theatrical production of Alien as their class play that was so well-done the production went viral? 

Well, over the weekend, Alien [the movie] star Sigourney Weaver, who was stunned by the idea of the pay and their efforts, that  she went to see it.

And came backstage to congratulate them.

And posed for pictures with them.

Class act, Miss Weaver.

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