Saturday, March 13, 2010

I Ain't One To Gossip But......

Okay, so this falls way into the "gossip" mode, but, oy, if it were true.
That bastion of fair reporting, The National Enquirer--Hey! They broke the John Edwards affair--is reporting that Jeremy Renner, nominated hottie, er actor, for The Hurt Locker, is a homo, though, he prefers to keep his private life private.
A woman named Melanee Wyatt, who claims to have worked as Jeremy's acting coach says, "I have never had the pleasure of meeting Jeremy's boyfriend, but the fact that Jeremy is gay has never been a primary concern."
And still other "sources" say Jeremy wants to star in a musical!

Oh yeah, gay, because only gay men make music.
Still, the idea that the owner of those baby blues could be a mo, has me all in a tizzy. So, Jeremy, if you are a member of the homosexual persuasion, let me be the first to welcome you, and tell you that your gift basket and Homosexual Agenda booklet should be arriving soon. If, um, you are not gay, well, then.....................you can still call me.
Now, while you're here reading, take a look back at my PR7EP8 post from yesterday and look at who I find hot.
J's.
J-eremy.
'Nuff said.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has found the role of a lifetime!
Or, the role for a Lifetime Movie.
She's set to play a prostitute--big stretch--in new TV movie, and, of the film, she says, with a supposed straight face, "It's sort of like Erin Brockovich in a brothel."
What? The story of a hooker who takes down a serial polluter?
Poor JLH.
I think she needs a ghost whisperer to tell her that she is less TV's answer to Julia Roberts, and she's more TV's answer to Eric Roberts.


Oh, for the love of Judy, why?
A Wizard of Oz remake is in the works!
And not just one!
Apparently Warner Bros. Studios is looking to revamp the classic Judy Garland film for the new generation--not realizing that the original does nicely all by itself. There are allegedly two different scripts floating about. One has Dorothy playing a hooker in Oz; it's kind of like Erin Brockovich goes over the rainbow and I hear Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks she's perfect for it.

I kid. She's not perfect for it.
In fact, one script is in the hands of New Line Cinema, one of the producers behind Twilight, so think of Lions and Tigers and Werewolves, oh my! They are calling their version Oz and it takes place in a maximum security men's prison.
What? It's been done? HBO? Really? Someone should tell New Line.
But the second script is supposedly darker--darker than a men's prison?--and is being developed at Warner Bros. This one is about Dorothy's granddaughter, who plays an Erin Brockovich-type hooker in Oz trapped in a men's maximum security prison.
I kid.
Word to Hollywood: lay off the remakes. And don't fuck with Dorothy.

Demi Moore is the world's best mom.

No, really.
First, she spends kagillions on plastic surgery to make herself look younger and more beautiful than her own children, so they don't run off with her much younger husband. And now, she's teaching one daughter, Rumer, the fine art of pole dancing.
What happened to mother's passing down recipes and wedding dresses?
Apparently Demi gave Rumer the ass-over-tits during a party at the Chateau Marmont. She was spinning and spinning around the pole while a crowd of onlookers, including her man-child hubby, looked on, and worried that, should she continue to go so fast, Demi would become a puddle of butter.
Only in Hollywood.

From reality TV comes reality.
One of the Rhode Island police officers currently competing in The Amazing Race has been put on "desk duty" after being suspected of involvement in a police-run cocaine ring!
Call me crazy, but my guess is, then, that the cops don't win the race.
Louie Stravato is being investigated in what is being called a "large-scale" cocaine distribution operation, and three other officers have been arrested. Louie, to be fair, was not arrested, but he and four others have been assigned to desk duty.


More Weir fallout.
Johnny Weir was not invited to participate in the Stars on Ice U.S. National skating tour because tour producers feel that he is not, ahem, "family friendly;" code for homo. There have been loads of rumors that the tour producers and sponsors--one of whom is Smuckers--feel that Johnny is too gay.
For ice skating.
That's like saying women lumberjacks might be too lesbian for a log rolling competition.
Go HERE and sign the petition asking to "Let Johnny skate!"
Dammit!

Mickey Rourke, pig du jour, and walking STD, is bragging about the number of women he slept with, in one night.
"Forget Ashley Cole, his behaviour has nothing on a film star. WAGs [wives and girlfriends of soccer stars] get an easy time - they should try living with Hollywood hellraisers. I once spent a weekend in the UK and had 14 women in one night."
Fourteen women. It was like a petri dish of STDs in that room.
I need a bath, and a Karen Silkwood bleach scrub down.

5 comments:

  1. Fun stuff. I'm appalled by the Wizard of Oz remake, and tingly about Jeremy!
    Oh, and Bob, I love the jellyfish. Nice banner...

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  2. Awww, you're not happy about the Wizard remake, and Stan obviously hates the idea too. I love the idea and cannot wait to see it, if it is ever produced. Maybe Lady Gaga can play Dorothy and Barney Frank can play the wicked witch.

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  3. Good grief. I've had enough trauma in my life from people making me watch that bloody Oz movie - now there's going to be two more?! (I know as a homo I'm supposed to like it but I never got the reason why I should be all in a tizzy over some whiny girl singing along with some daft friends taking an hour and a half to realise the grass isn't greener.)

    On a more positive vein I wouldn't complain if you wanted to post more photos of that cop. Just saying. Don't have to talk to or like the guy, just, you know.

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  4. That last part about Mickey Rourke wiped out all the earlier ones. Yes, a shower and bleach!

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  5. Johnny should tell them to go fuck themselves! I wouldn't want anything to do with a "family related event"! He should get a backer, no pun intented, and do a solo show and hit the road!

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