Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Blah Blah Blah


I get a lot of questions from folks I meet here in South Carolina who want to know where I'm from, seeing that I don't have that usual South Carolina draaaaawl. So, I want to know, is it wrong for me to say I was born and raised in South Carolina but I don't have the drawl because I graduated from high school?

Last weekend was Cup weekend, when the annual steeplechase event came to Smallville. It's a chance to see and be seen, drink and get drunk. So, with that said, i might ass that if I see one more fat drunk in a seersucker suit with a pastel tie with his wide in a summer dress and flip-flops stumbling through town, I.Will.Go.Off.

Carlos and I made a trip to Sam's club over the weekend to buy some things we're having for a little gathering in May. We loaded up on chicken and flank steak, queso fresco and grass seed; yes, I know, quite the odd combination. At the checkout, we wait while our purchases are tallied, and then Carlos swipes his Visa card.
"Is that a debit card?"
"No. It's credit."
"We take MasterCard, Discover card, cash, and Visa debit, but not Visa credit."
"Why?"
"Because."
We left.
At the Customer service desk, we asked why they don't accept Visa credit cards, and were told again that they accept MasterCard, Discover and Visa debit.
"Why not Visa credit?"
"Because."
We're going to Costco.
FU Sam's Club.

I've finished by gorgeous paint job in the foyer of Casa Smallville, and we laid down the new rug we found at the Homo Depot. Now, it's time to redo the secretary so we can put that in the hall. We were going with a lime green and red, shocking, paint combination, but after finding the rug, we're toning it down. We're paint the secretary an olive green, and paint the interior, display shelves, gold, so they'll show off some of Carlos' tea pot.
Yes. he collects tea pots! You gotta problem?
But I digress.
Carlos bought some varnish remover, and we took the secretary to the garage to begin the work. As the day progressed, i began calling Carlos "Gypsy."
What does that mean? he asked.
Well, she was a stripper, too.
He didn't get it. I'm beginning to wonder if he's really gay, or if this isn't some elaborate hoax.

9 comments:

froggy said...

Because... our accountant didn't pay the Visa Credit account and took a trip to the Bahamas, today's management action to be rude to customers is to refuse Visa Credit, we want to become too big to fail and this is our first step.

Tom said...

Costco only accepts debit/check cards other than American Express... They all have their own loyalty cards... Try BJ's if there is one in your area

Buck said...

I know what you mean about the accent. People ask me what happened to my Texas accent. Rather than explain the whole education thing, I just say that I went to GRADUATE SCHOOL in Canada.
It works.

kent said...

you should have said FU to Sams and walmart a long time ago. Too many reasons to go on about here as to why you should say FU to them, but just do a little research and you find plenty.

Kyle said...

I'm sure the olive green and gold will be equally stunning. :)

After the first two years I was here in NH(and had lost my accent), many people didn't believe that I grew up in the south. All I had to do was tell them about my childhood or tell them a colorful southern story and that disbelief evaporated quickly.

truthspew said...

Keyron was born in and spent the first 4 years of his live in Queens, as in NYC.

When he was five his family moved him to North Carolina.

So he caught shit for not having a southern accent down there. But fits in very nicely up here in the northeast.

He tells me stories about how he couldn't understand the teachers in 1st grade. After visiting that part of North Carolina I understand why.

As to the debit/credit thing, the reason Sams did that was because if you run it as debit, they don't get whacked with the up front fee and percentage. You bear it with a fee though.

It's their way of playing rough with VISA.

Writer said...

You wrote: "I get a lot of questions from folks I meet here in South Carolina who want to know where I'm from, seeing that I don't have that usual South Carolina draaaaawl. So, I want to know, is it wrong for me to say I was born and raised in South Carolina but I don't have the drawl because I graduated from high school?"

I've always had the same issue: even when in high school, I would go to local businesses here in Kentucky and people would ask me if I was from Chicago - not because I actually sounded like I was from Chicago, but because I did not sound like I was from there (western Kentucky). I did my best to get rid of any iota of drawl that may or may not have been there. Though I miss it on occasion, my actual accent does appear when I get angry.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Walmart just is not a place I like to go, but gosh if it is not convenient at times.

robertga99 said...

You should go to Costco but they have the same issues. They only take Amex, debit cards, check or cash. No visa, mastercard, discover...
it sucks but Costco is so much better...to me!