A Number of Things

Some other things I need to get off my chest.

First to the people who used to own our house.

Would it have killed you to rake a freakin' leaf up once in a while? I mean, seriously. I am still cleaning up leaves and garden crap you left behind and you haven't lived here for over two years!

I have a suggestion for your next yard: green concrete and silk plants.

Look into it.

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I watched some of Make Me A Supermodel last night because I loves me some Tyson Beckford, but that British beyotch they have is something else.

In the apartment with the models, she all sweetness and light, but then she rips them all a new one on the runway. She has, however, provided me with my newest catch phrase.

The old one was: Don't make me hit-chu wit my pocketbook, courtesy of Miss Jennifer Hudson.

My new one is: You're a tasteless version of Kate Moss.

Which I love because isn't Kate Moss a tasteless version of Kate Moss?

Just sayin'.

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Oprah is jumping into the Chris Brown/Rihanna circus, because we all know, nothing gets solved until Oprah flaps her yap.

At least while she's talking she can lay off the pies and cakes.

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Carlos and I have been together for a dog's year plus two, and I always torture him in the same ways, and he always falls for it, which makes me do it more, which makes him for for it....you see where this is going.

At breakfast today, we were having cantaloupe and homemade banana bread, with a glass of juice and cafe con leche.

As I sat down, I said, Strawberries would have been nice with the melon.

Carlos gets up and heads to the fridge, at which point I say: Oh, I don't want strawberries.

He sits down. I giggle like a four-year-old.

We eat and chat, and eat some more. Then he gets up and gets a spoon for his cafe con leche. I say, as he's walking back to the kitchen table, I guess I'm not allowed to have a spoon.

He spins around and gets a spoon.

Oh, I don't want one, I say, I was just making an observation.

Lucky for me he has a good sense of humor, and he loves me, or else I'd be down at the Smallville Greyhound Station with a paper bag and a homemade lunch, on the road out of town.

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The new rule on Idol.

Apparently the judges get to 'save' a contestant who gets the boot.

Now, they can only do it once, and it must be unanimous, so I don't really mind. I mean, if it keeps the show from being hijacked by another Sanjaya-freak-of-nature, then I'm all for it.

However.

Last night they boot off Jasmine. Ryan Gaycrest tells her that all of America hates her and she has to get out. But wait a sec, Jas, you get to sing once more so we can all see how horrible you are and revel in your misery.

So, she sings, and then they ask the judges if they want to save her.

Dawg Jackson says, uh, No!

So, apparently, Jasmine, America hates you, and then the judges tell you they hate you, too.

Of course, they replay the same scene a few minutes later with Jorge.....who shouldá stayed and they shouldá sent Anoop packing, because he sucked.

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South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford says that using federal money to balance the state budget come July could “destabilize” the S.C. economy over time, and that he will not accept the $700 million in federal aid for state budgets unless South Carolina can use the money to pay off retirement, health care costs and other debts.

This makes him the the nations’ first governor to specifically reject portions of the federal aid, and Mark Sanford, Repugnant Dumbass, loves to be noticed.

Of course, his announcement came the same day as new unemployment numbers show South Carolina with the nation’s second-highest jobless rate, at 10.4 percent.

No, we don't need jobs, Marky, not here.

Dumbass.