PR: All-Stars: Ice, Ice Baby

Okay, the designtestants had six hours to design, create, sew, style, and shove the model down the runway in an outfit inspired by gelato. I'm gonna try to do this in less than six hours myself.
Let's rip.....

RAMI 
Kiwi
First and foremost: O.M.G. Rami in a muscle shirt. Luckily I DVR'd the show because I had to keep backing up to hear what was said because I got lost in his guns and pecs--sidenote: Carlos presented me with a handmade birthday card this morning with a picture of Rami on it. Yum!
Different fabrics in the shades of Kiwi, over a wrap skirt--and homage to guest judge Diane von Furstenberg, or a suck-up, or just done because they had six freaking hours.
Mila called his taste questionable, and dubbed the outfit garish. Mila. look in a mirror for garish; severe hair, blood red lips?
I liked his dress. I wasn't so fond of the polka dot fabric below the belt--it looked like an afterthought--but I loved the polka dot back 
Very Kiwi. And safe.

JERELL 
Fruits of the Forest
WTF Fruits of the Forest? And why does Jerell again go schizo on the top and bottom detail.
He also gets extra snarky with all the other designers, without failing to realize that he has yet to win a challenge, and, is rarely, if ever, in the top. Less snark, more design, Jer.
His dress, like Kenley's, is the same one he makes every week. The top doesn't match the bottom, and he likes the bling.
But he did get all giggle when DVF gave him the thumbs up, but I think the thumb meant, Yay! Another of the same dress.
And another pass. But with fewer designers each week, his lack of creativity may not keep him around.

AUSTIN 
Vanilla Madagascar
He's shaken off last week's matador look, and traded it in for the very gay version of a West Side Story Jet. Note to Austin: if you wanna wear a tank top, get a body like Rami. But I digress. 
He thinks vanilla Madagascar means going all white wedding with some tribal bling on it, because, you know, Madagascar, tribal, rhinestones. Yeah....I don't get it either.
And Austin gives in to the Goddess of Time and begins a hot relationship with a glue gun. And, I'm thinking he ran out of glue because he sewed his model into the dress. I hear she's still wearing it.
His dress is pretty. Tribal Glam, I'm guessing. But it's too safe.
Still, he pats himself on the pat with a "beautiful, elegant dresses are my signature."
But it won't get you to the tents.

KENLEY 
Passion Fruit
She sticks to what she knows: one dress, A-line, flirty skirt, in pink tones.
What is it with these All Stars and their one-note designs?
Mila calls Kenley's dress too, simple and it doesn't say 'passion fruit' but, then, Mila's a bitch. so, there's that. And Kenley is happy as a 1940s clam when the dress fits her model, because it means she's good at knowing her model's measurements, and she's good at making the same dress week after week.
Her dress is young--like always--flirty--like always--and pink--like always. The only thing missing is a butt-load of tulle beneath the skirt.
She calls it "hip....fresh...vibrant". I call it "been there."
The judges call it safe.

ANTHONY 
Green Tea
Once more, we're going to get a structured, origami dress in some version of a neon color.
It's deja vu all over again.
But then he tells us that he has to get very creative, given the time, and still keep to his aesthetic of style and elegance. So, he makes a Kenley skirt instead of his tight pencil skirt, for which he's thinks he's known.
"Wow, she looks like a dream realized," Anthony swoons on the catwalk. Then he notes that DVF gives a wink to the designer when she likes their work, and watches as DVF brings a barf bag up to her mouth following his dress.
Angela says it's too conceptual--melting ice cream--and messy, while DVF, wiping spittle from her chin, loves the concept, but not the dress. Georgina says the back panels ruin the dress--has she seen the front?--and supermodel Miranda Kerr says simplicity would have been better. Isaac didn't say much, other than "I don't like it."
Anthony finishes 4th,

KARA 
Chocolate with Cayenne
She gets bogged down with a story of tasting the flavors and ending with a hot cayenne finish, and picks her fabrics like that. Beige and white, with a bit of chocolate and red.
Ruffles. Badly sewn ruffles. Worn too high on the body, badly sewn ruffles.
She dubs it chic and sophisticated. I think she was looking at someone else's dress when she said that, yet she thinks she has it nailed.
Cue ominous drumming.
The dress makes the model look like a ruffled pregnant woman, and the colors don't say much, except, Bleeech! Kara says the "movement great, the colors are gorgeous, and Isaac and Diane are reacting." I think they're breaking out in hives.
On the runway she tells a great story, but no one buys that the story has anything to do with the dress. Georgina calls the story passionate, the dress....not. Unless it's passion because the model looks like she had a good schtupping and is now six months pregnant. Isaac mutters that as soon as someone mentions the word pregnant, it's over. Miranda Kerr simply said, 'Ruffles?' DVF called it cute, but not flattering.
Kara goes 5th.

APRIL 
Blueberry
purple, which is like black, only not. Jerell thinks she needs to be more versatile, and I think, Pot? Kettle? Mirror?
She says it'll be kind like Violet in Willy Wonka, I say it'll be like a girl named Violet has a full body bruise.
When asked by Joanna Coles how she's faring, April says she'll stick to what she knows. JC wonders if that'll Wow the judges and April points out her brilliant use of color as opposed to her normal black. Someone shake April, please.
Her dress doesn't fit the model, and she needs to add fabric to the back, which means she can't add fabric to the hem, which is short in the front, and near pornographic in the back. But, she liked the silhouette.
April? Dear? No one buys a silhouette, they buy a dress that fits.
Georgina likes the two purples, but thinks April took on too much as the corset is a mess, and the belt and earrings don't work. Isaac said it had a big impact, and good length, until the model turned around. DVF called it "Halloween Spider." I think she was channeling Kors. Angela doesn't think April translates her ideas to reality very well.
April is Auf'd.

MILA 
Milk and Sour Cherry
She's happy with her selection because she loves red and white, and wants to prove to all of us that she does more than design in black. Trouble is, she tells us this while wearing black; and she shows us this while designing her outfit while wearing grey and white. Yeah, she's all about color.
She also wants to prove she can go softer in her design, so she picks two sheer fabrics, and then doubles them up so they aren't see-thru.
Anthony dubbed her dress a "colorblocked Christmas ornament disaster." Word.
And her dress does have color, though seeing the red beneath the sheer white looks like flesh to me, and that's never good. But then she styles this flowy, soft dress with a wide black belt and heavy black wedges, and kills it.
Isaac sees the gelato in the dress, and I wonder if he means the gelato the model ate at lunch since the dress is so sheer. Angela likes it, and loves the layering. Georgina likes that it has a summery feel too, while DVF says it looks rushed. Miranda called it easy to wear.
Well, if that isn't a compliment. I mean, sweatpants are easy to wear.
Still, someone--and by someone I mean the producers--wanted Milka to stay so she goes into 3rd Place.

MONDO 
Cantaloupe
Mondo strays from his mix of patterns, and structured pieces and goes all loosey goosey flowy caftan, in a literal interpretation of cantaloupe, including the rind.
Mondo gets the Cute Moment Award for realizing that he didn't buy enough fabric and saying, Shucks. The last time I heard someone say Shucks, it was a cartoon dog. Too cute.
His design is very unexpected, and Anthony says, "It's a caftan. I designed one in college." And then he continues to work on his Origami project.
But Mondo's dress is different, and fun. My only complaint was that I wish it had been sexier, more lower cut, in the front. It seemed like an awful lot of fabric, for someone who said he didn't have enough. DVF called it great--what woman doesn't love a caftan. Miranda loved the back, and would have probably worn it that way. Georgina said it was fabulous, and shouldn't have worked--the mix of fabrics--but it did. Angela was a'scurred of the orange, but liked how the belt made it figure flattering. Isaac also wanted a deep V in the front--what is it with us gays and wanted to see deeper v-necks on the womens?
Still, Mondo missed it by that much.

MICHAEL
Grapefruit
Michael was all agape this entire episode. The idea of Dian von Furstenberg sent his upper lip to his eyebrows and his lower lip to his chin, while his eyes bug out like, well, Bugs Bunny when a hot girl bunny hops by.
And Michael says he has a lock on this because he can create a dress in 45 minutes, and he's been sewing since he was ten and he never glues the dress together. Austin.
Jerell, snark queen, says Michael's look is so easy "a chimpanzee can do it." Um, Jerell, honey, at least Michael made it to.the.tents. on his season. Word.
His dress is a draped, oversized, flowy, pinky, fleshy concoction. He calls it liquid gelato as it strolls the runway.
And its pretty, though it doesn't pack a Wow. But it does have the sexiness missing from Mondo's piece. Isaac loves it, but not the color; he feels it's missing the tartness of a grapefruit. DVF loves it, and tells Michale to call her after the show, and his chin literally hit the floor. No, seriously. it was on the floor. Georgina agrees about the color and says something in a language I don't understand, Satin-faced Georgette. Is that some sort of gay slur about Michael and his gaping maw? 
Fabric? Oh. Never mind.
Michael gets another win; two in a row.

So........let's see.
Michael makes it to the tents. Mondo makes it to the tents. Rami makes it to the tents. At least that's how it seems the producers want it. See, let's face it, with all these judges, this is a producer-judged show. Why else would they keep Kara and her lackluster dresses over April, who may be a little too Gothic one-note but at least her designs have flair.
Oh, yeah, Kara, with all her running and shrieking is better TV than April who is more sullen.
Ratings people. Ratings.
And I'll be all aflutter if it isn't a Michael-Mondo-Rami tent show.