Tuesday, January 24, 2012

"Doctor" Keith Ablow Goosesteps For Newt

As many of you know, I have a low tolerance for stupid people. But, every so often, along comes a stupid person, so deluded by their own lack of brain activity, that they almost become comical.
Like, say, "Doctor" Keith Ablow.
Just yesterday, I posted the "Dr.'s" theory about Americans drinking so much. It was kinda funny all the things he blames, being that not one of them is a right-wing thing, or a Christian thing, or  a FauxNews thing. Now we have "Doctor" Ablow talking about all things Newt, and, of course, seeing that they pay his bills, doing it for FauxNews.
Ablow was tasked with analyzing Newt Gingrich’s infidelity issues and he arrived at some pretty amazing [read: high-larious] conclusions. Now, the be fair, and balanced, I must say that "Doctor" Ablow believes Newt's fidelity, or lack thereof, doesn’t dictate how he’ll be as a President, but it's his other "theories" that tickle my funny bone."Dr." Ablow writes,
1) Three women have met Mr. Gingrich and been so moved by his emotional energy and intellect that they decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with him.
Really? These women wanted to be with Newt The Sex God because of his “emotional energy and intellect”? Not, maybe, because he was their superior and they might be a hint, all right an ALLEGED hint, of sexual harassment at the most, but an inappropriate relationship at least. And, of course, "Dr." Ablow's theory rests of the shaky foundation that  Newt has great emotional energy and intellect.
2) Two of these women felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married.
3) One of them felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married for the second time, was not exactly her equal in the looks department and had a wife (Marianne) who wanted to make his life without her as painful as possible.
Conclusion: When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is now running for president, I worry more about whether we’ll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we’ll want to let him go after one.
So, two of these women, including Marianne and the robotic Calista, began an inappropriate affair with a marriage man--and keep in mind, Calista portrays herself as a devout Catholic, though probably not while she flat on her back in the arms of a married Newt--and "Dr." Ablow apparently seriously believes that because they found Newt so utterly captivating and desirable that it means the American people are gonna find him just as delightful.
At least until we find out he's fucking around on us.
I mean, old habits and all.
See what i mean, though? Stupid people, like "Doctor" Ablow are sometimes so stupid, and so delusional, and so willing to sell themselves to a news channel--and that makes me giggle because it's Fox--that it actually becomes funny.
And then sad.
Then funny again, because, seriously, President "Newt".
Ain't gonna happen.
For more of "Doctor" Ablow's Theories That Blow, go HERE.

5 comments:

mistress maddie said...

LOL,LOL,LOL, I needed that good laugh, where are my Kleenx, and James... get me another gin and tonic, no make that two!

froggy said...

I'm speechless! I don't know where to start?! What about a woman who decides to have an affair with a married man? Is she really qualified to judge this man as worthy? They see something to admire in his lack of morals, compassion and general meanness? That's it - those are great qualities for a leader!

Frank said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Frank said...

Forgive me if I don't "GO HERE" for more.

Ask the Cool Cookie said...

Someone needs to pull his license.