I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Hell hath no fury like a Media Whore scorned.
Kash Kow Kardashian has hired a lawyer and she's pissed. She is threatening legal action against the founder of BoycottKim.com because, well, they're mean or something.
The site popped up right after the story broke that Kash Kow was divorcing her husband of the house, Kris Humphries. In fact, a slew of anti-Kardashian sites and petitions hit the web, like "No More More Kardashian" and BoycottTheKardashians.com  BoycottKim.com.
Nearly half a million signatures have been signed to petitions asking E! to cancel the show, or simply begging the Kardashians to go away.
See, Kash Kow, that's all you gotta do. Go away, and folks will stop talking about you.
Seriously. I promise.

And now comes the Who the f**k are you and why are talking stories.
Ellen Kardashian, widow Robert Kardashian, is telling Kardashian secrets. Hmmm, she's a Kardashian all right, selling stories to make some cash. But one of Ellen's stories is very rich indeed. 
It seems she was friends with Bruce Jenner’s first wife Chrystie Crownover, and says that Chrystie told her that Bruce loved to cross dress by wearing her bras and special ordering women’s heels in his size.
Oh, but she did.
Rumor has it that Ellen learned of the bombshell over drinks with Bruce’s ex: “Of course Bruce was every woman’s heartthrob when he was that age, right? But Chrystie said, ‘Yeah, until I went on a trip and I came back and he had gone through all my clothes. And I found my bras… He’d clip them together and wear them.’"
Chrystie went on to divorce Bruce, but his next wife, Kris Jenner--formerly married to Ellen's husband, Robert Kardashian....LA is so incestuous--was unfazed by Bruce's "taste", and Ellen says he kept on cross-dressing for years after their wedding.
Well then, that may explain the, um, new face Bruce has been sporting for decades, eh?

All in the family, I guess. or, at least, Bryan Ferry's family.
Bryan Ferry, lead singer of the 70s-80s band Roxy Music, who is now in his kid-sixties, has always dated younger women; I guess it's a rock star thing. But now, at 66, Bryan Ferry is marrying a twenty-nine-year-old, and that's his prerogative, right?
And it is, except, it gets a little sketchy when you learn that the future Missus Ferry, one Amanda Sheppard, actually dated his son Isaac. 
Were Isaac and Amanda broken up before dad Bryan swooped in, or did he steal her away from his son?
All in the family.

Marc Anthony says JLo needs to see a shrink because she has this need to never be without a man. And, well, he may have something there. Does anyone remember a time when JLo was a single, unattached gal? Yeah, me either.
But Lopez may not have the money to pay for a shrink because, ALLEGEDLY, she has been giving her backup-dancer-boy-toy-babysitter an allowance of $10,000 a week.
That's about half a million bucks a year to screw Lopez and watch her kids. Oh, and drive Marc Anthony crazy.
But still, what do they call a person who takes money in exchange for sex? And what do they call someone who pays for sex?

Demi Moore seems to be following JLo's lead, following her separation from serial cheating boytoy hubby Ashton Kutcher.
See, just out of a relationship with a boy 17 years her junior, Demi has ALLEGEDLY taken up with a 26-year-old “model” named Blake Corl-Baietti.
She's 49, he's 26.......hi Mommy! 
Demi's oldest daughter is 24.
And, well, Blake looks to be a of sexually ambiguous nature, all primped and pressed and kinda flaming.
Note to Demi: Grow up, honey. You aren't twenty-something any more. In fact you haven't been twenty-something in twenty-something years. 
And no amount of dieting and facial reconstruction and nips and tucks and pulls and needles and scrapings will make you twenty-something again.
Grow up. Act like a nearly fifty year old woman.

So, Katy Perry is divorcing Russell Brand. I never saw that coming.
But one story that won't die is that Katy dumped Russ because he's a sex-freak and, well, she's just not. She's a good Christian girl, and so the latest game is Who will Katy Perry latch onto next?
One name that keeps popping up is....wait for it....it's so funny....it's probably true....wait for it.....Tim Tebow.
A new story--from OK! magazine--says Katy is now looking to get, um, Teboned.
Sorry, it was too good to pass up.
But this match makes sense. Think about it. Katy and Tim both grew up in a very controlled religious environment and now find themselves beyond famous. In fact, it seems that Katy's uber-evangelical parents, are the ones pushing the singer and athlete together. 
“[Katy's] mentioned on more than one occasion how much she likes Tim,” a source--and by source, I mean Katy's parents--tells OK!. ”Katy’s mom firmly believes the best cure for heartache is to quickly fall in love again....In her mind, Tebow is the perfect guy for her daughter. He’s handsome, charming, intelligent and above all, a good Christian.”
Katy’s parents have even gone so far as to ask Tim Tebow to speak at the church where Katy used to sing, and have asked Katy to be there.
Katy getting Teboned.
Again, sorry, I couldn't resist.