Monday, June 14, 2010

Design Star: White Box Challenge

It's on, and, with some changes--where's Clive?--to a new city--Hello New Yawk!--the show zips right into having the deigntestants do the White Box Challenge and create a bedroom space for another designer with whom they've been arbitrarily paired.
We have the same judges: the fabulous, FABulous, fabuLOUS, Candice Olson, the Pocket Gaysian Vern Yip, and someone else....I think....oh yeah....Genevieve Gorder, who I like to call GeeYouReally BoreMe.
The Designers are given $500 and one place to shop, Pearl River, an Asian market, and must create a space from all things purchased there.


Stacey and Dan:
  • Stacey--boring as beige--created a boring room for Dan, the the construction guy, but nothing like Hot Dan Construction Guy from last season; sorry to say. And i assume HGTV thought Stacey's room boring because they couldn't be bothered to post a picture of it.
  • Dan did a City-Meets-Sea room for Stacey, but the city that never sleeps has fallen in a coma. As did I.

Julie and Tom:

  • I gettin' all Anderson Cooper about Tom; that suit! And that exercise routine! He designed a sort of Ali Baba and The Forty Designers inspired cosmopolitan room for Julie. It's bold, it's red, it's a bit too much.
  • Julie is a total princess, and not the kind you marry, the kind you feed a poison apple. She created a Hurricane Katrina room for Tom, with a tidal wave on the walls and dead birds floating on the rug. She called it calming, but I think she spells calming, C-H-A-O-S.

Tera and Trent:

  • Tera is the Texas designer, so I know we'll be getting some "Go big or go home" talk. She is obviously a a lover of baby puke yellow, or maybe it's baby puke green; either way....it's puke. And it looks like a bad Pier One Imports display set.
  • Trent is all talk. And all knickknacks and tchochkes and stuff. He is the designer who will throw in everything but the kitchen sink--although i think I saw a sink under the bed. One word Trent: Edit. Your speech and your design.

Alex and Casey:
  • Alex has already became the Scatterbrained one who doesn't entirely finish his room. Bright smile, dim hopes. His room is simple, blues and browns, with a bright red pillow. Safe. And kinda sorry.
  • Casey apparently thought Alex was a twelve-year-old boy, and designed a room accordingly. It only lacked the Lincoln Logs. And talent.

Nina and Courtland:
  • Nina is instantly the diva, with a twinge of bitch tossed in the mix. She created a, what she called, Fiji-style room for Courtland, but it looks more like Memoirs of a Gaysha with all the parasols. Still, Court--I call him Court and he's kinda cute--says he likes it. But if he likes all the parasols is he....could he.......
  • Court does a sweet, contemporary modern room for Nina, but then Nina announces to the judges that she's more Bohemian Chic than Court gave her. Of course, this is Nina's first mention of BoChic, and she is also the first designer to throw another one under the bus. I hate Nina.

Emily and Michael:
  • Emily immediately declares herself the designer who does not draw; she stares. Yeah, I see a quick trip to Elinationville in her future. It's like a cook who doesn't use pots and pans. Her design for Michael was based on his love of "grit" and the Lower East Side, which she translated into string art. Seriously. And a framed page of the USAToday. No. Seriously.
  • Michael is the Queen Of Smiles, and, well, that works for me. The best part of his design was the unmade bed, because it speaks volumes about Emily's unmade designs. His room was fun. The mural was fun. He seems fun.
The judges tour, and listen to the designtestants and then break the group into two subsets:
Top Six: Stacey, Tera, Nina, Casey, Michael, and Dan.
They declare Nina the winner, and she proudly proclaims that her ginormous ego--and by ego she means bitchiutude--helped her win.
I hate Nina.

Bottom Six: Tom, Alex, Court, Trent, Emily, and Julie, must film a host show about their Bottom Six designs and present those to the judges for consideration.

The Judging:
Tom: The judges think there is too much fabric; too much Asian market.
Alex: The red sheet under the white sheet turned the white sheet pink, but Candice saw red,and that wasn't good.
Court: He tossed Nina, her Bitchitude, and her Bohemian Chic under a cab.
Trent: Too.Much.Crap.
Emily: She, the judges, and most of America, winced as they showed her room again.
Julie: Feathers? Tom? No, honey. No.

Julie and Emily go Head-To-Head Bottom Two and show off their hosting skills. Emily rips her room to shreds, and tells us what she'd do different, and Julie become a Feng Shui Robot spouting about Earth Wind and Fire....oh, and Sea.

Buh-bye Julie.

2 comments:

  1. The 'hosting for your life' reminded me of RuPaul's lip synch for your life. They totally stole that!
    That said, it seemed a bit more bright than before - think that is thanks to NYC.
    I've looked around the web and can't find any info on why they dumped Clive - I expect they had to pay the judges more for the increased airtime and Clive had to go.

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  2. I also hate Nina and thought her room design was less bad than the others. Did not like it or her. I wonder why Clive is gone, too. Good recap!! Thanks!

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