Design Star EP 2: Men v. Women....Women v Nina and Tera

I still hate Nina. As the show begins she is running her mouth non-stop, and has the nerve to utter the line "I'm not safe" followed quickly by "I won!" I hate Nina, and I don't think I'm the only one. Courtland is steering clear of her lest she do another subtle 'under the bus toss' at him again, and, as we'll see, more people become Team Not-Nina as the show progresses.

The Challenge

The designtestants meet Gee-You-Really Bored-Me at a catwalk, and I'm thinking, is this Design Star/Project Runway? Where's Heidi? But Gee, I'll call her Gee from now on, announces that the challenge will be to create a design based on a particular garment. What Gee knows about fashion, other than most of it won't fit her pear-shaped ass, is belong me, but I digress.....

The Picks

Nina: Egyptian styled gown

Tera: Urban street-wear

Stacey: Beach cover-up

Dan: Pink Owl pajamas

Trent; Tommy Bahama

Courtland: A woman's suit

Casey: Rugged Outdoorsy menswear

Michael: Leopard print

Alex: a frothy wedding dress

Emily: A Tailored men's suit

Tom: Yoga wear

The Monkeywrench:

There will be teams; men versus women. And the challenge is to design a one-bedroom apartment using all the fashions that each team chose, but making sure that each designer's own personal choice is represent.

So, the women will be doing an Egyptian-outdoorsy-beach-y-urban-suit, while the men will design a wedding-yoga-island-y-animalistic-women's-pajama-suit.

Cray-zay.

As the two teams depart we hear Court tell the men that this is a team challenge and they must work as a team, while Nina tells the women that this is exactly what she does and this is how she wants it done.

I hate Nina. Stacey joins Team Bob in the Nina is the Design Star Bitch.....and others will follow.

At the apartments, their clothing choices await, and the men automatically start tossing out color choices, and ideas. In the women's apartment, Nina dons her Little General outfit and starts telling the others what she wants to do. When Stacey begs to differ, Nina delivers the immortal line: "We're all here because we're professionals..........sweetie."

Oh no she di-in't.

Shopping

Michael instantly goes after Trent--he of the oversized baseball cap; seriously, he looks like a Charlie Brown reject from a Peanuts special. Trent picks up wooden palm fronds because they scream TOMMY BAHAMA, and Michael just seems to want to scream.

For the women, Nina finds a pink rug and falls in love with it. The other women aren't so sure how a pink rug fits into the room, and voice their opposition. They buy the pink rug. Tera and Casey discuss color; Tera's outfit, the Urban street outfit, has a yellow shirt, and Tera is only seeing yellow, as in The Yellow Rose of Texas. Casey, with her degree in color psychology from insert matchbook university name here says yellow is a hostile color.

And it's kinda true, because Tera's turning a little yellow.

At the apartments, Courtland takes it upon himself to do a striping technique on one wall, using the colors from each outfit. Trent is not so sure about, but I think his big hat makes it hard for him to see clearly. Neither Courtland, nor I, pay much attention to Trent, though I wonder what he carries under that hat.

Certainly not creativity, because Michael keeps running behind Trent and rearranging Trent's accessories. Seriously, perfectly spaced palm fronds along the window sill? It's utter madness!

Last week, Alex described himself as scatterbrained, and this week it still holds true. He can't measure; he can't use a power saw; I think I saw a little foot stomp in there as he mangles another piece of wood for his White Patent Leather Wedding Dress Inspired Headboard.

I know!

The Judges Tour

The judges like the men's apartment and see Courtland's inspiration in it almost instantly. They then look around for Trent's Big-Hatted-Tommy-Bahama inspiration and all they get is wooden palm fronds on the window sill. Vern.Almost.Dies.

In the bedroom they don't see the frothy elegance of the wedding dress, or the whimsy of owl pajamas. Elegance and whimsy has become cheese and crackers.

In the women's apartment, Nina's style hits them in the face, though not necessarily in a good way. The dragonfly mural scares them a bit. And they don't see Tera's Urban streetwaer, but they spot Emily's tailored suit. One of them sits in Stacey's chair, which started turquoise but is now grey. Huh?

Winners and Losers

The judges declare the men's design the best, and Courtland as the winner; Nina gives him the Stink-eye. The men win the honor[?] of having their apartment featured in Redbook...whatever that is...and the women get the honor of a trip to judging hell after filming a host segment on their losing design.

The Verdict

Vern plays the Mini-Me-Dark-Knight role in the judges room. I suspect he had hoped to be able to use a guillotine in the elimination challenges and is still bummed about being told No. Candice seems angry, but then Nina does that to me, too. Gee plays with her hair.

Vern asks Nina a simple question, like, How are you, and Nina instantly throws Stacey and Emily under the MidTown Bitch Bus. A mini-meow fight starts, before Vern puts the kibosh on it, saying their personalities aren't up for judging, but their designs are.

Candy loved the WOW of Nina's dress, but didn't see wow in Nina's design. Naturally, Nina then announces that being made team leader sapped her of the ability to fully create her vision.

Bitch becomes a liar, too.

Tera gets called out for using just the color of her outfit and not the design. She showcased Urban streetwear by painting the walls a ::::say this is a soft buttery Texas twang:::::: a creamy yella, and tossing in Navy Blue Velvet Drapes.

Yeah, nothing says Urban like creamy yellows and velvet.

Stacey says she designed the chair to reflect her beach cover-up, and Tera, still reeling from the hostility her yellow received, throws Stacey under a stagecoach for working only on the chair. That is, until the judges say they love the chair.

Emily gets called out on accessorizing a tailored room with a wicker basket and a lone towel tossed inside and Casey is bitchslapped for ignoring the hot trend of plaid.

Quelle horror!

Bottom Two

The judges tell them that any one of them, in fact, all of them, could be Bottom Two, and Nina's head explodes.

Not really, but Nina, along with Tera, are called down.

After their hosting video, where Nina employed the use of I...I...I, as in I designed, I created, I like, while I was going ay-yi-yi, as in Get the Bitch Off My TV Screen, and Tera displayed all the down-home Texas charm of a pat of butter, the judges decide.

Buh-bye Tera.

I knew they'd keep the bitch; it's good TV. If the rule holds out, she'll be around until Top Three, and then they'll call her on all her bad choices, bad language, and bad habits and send her packing.

I.Can't.Wait.

This episode was fun, as we got to see more of the designer's personalities.

Michael will become the Diva Queen Bitch, kind of a Mini-Nina.

Courtland will get cuter.

Stacey-Casey-Emily will merge into one bland designer.

Nina will be venetian-plastered-and-wall-papered.

Trent will take of his hat and we'll discover he has a second hat under there.

Dan will move back to his cave.

Tom will become my Pseudo-Anderson-Cooper crush.

Alex will continue to smile, even as he's escorted from the building.