Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Of Lawn Mowers And Rain Gutters And Old Navy


Sunday was our day to relax. Carlos and I had dinner out on Saturday to celebrate The Day We Met and Sunday was a day to rest.
But...................

When we lived in Miami we lived in a gated community and the homeowners association mowed our lawn. We could plant whatever we wanted, but they mowed any lawn we had outside our own fences. So, when we moved to Smallville and bought this house it came with a ginormous lawn, and we had no lawn mower to call our own. Carlos, who for some inexplicable reason, was looking forward to mowing the lawn...I know! Crazy!...began looking for a riding mower. But then, without warning, he settled on a non-riding, self-propelled Toro--I think it was the name that got him.

And he began to be in charge of the lawn.
But this weekend he kept saying it was too hot to mow; too hot in the morning, too hot in the evening. So Sunday morning, over breakfast, as he said it again, I announced that I would cut the grass. A Royal Proclamation.

Trumpets sounded. Doves were released. Carlos choked on his cafe con leche.

But I held up my end, and I went outside and I cut the grass--after a quick lesson on how that thing worked. But it was, well, it took me back to my childhood, when I would rise every Saturday morning to cut the grass for my Dad. I loved being out there in the sun, pushing the mower up and down, swatting away bugs, dodging tree branches, trying not to think about my foot slipping under the lawn mower like a scene from Fargo.

I mowed that lawn. One end to the other; round and round up and down. And I hated it now as much, if not more, then I did as a boy. The bugs; the trees; the dismemberment thoughts.

But, since I was mowing, Carlos was on rain gutter duty. We are surrounded by trees; oak trees, pine trees, eucalyptus trees, maple trees, crepe myrtles and dogwoods. And all those leaves make a beeline into our rain gutters. It's a hassle to clean them, but, since I was occupied with aiming the Toro at our little dog, Carlos did the gutters. Let him run his fingers through soggy leaves and pine needles. I. Was. Mowing! Dammit!

Afterwards, after a shower and a long slow sipped of Iced Tea, Carlos announced that he needed some new pants. The relaxation portion of our day would be put off yet again. Off we drove to Old Navy, nearly twenty miles away, because he'd heard they were having a sale. And boy loves himself a sale!

I dropped him off at the store and then ran down to the Walgreens to get a couple of things we needed. When I arrived back at Old Navy, he was still inside, so I went in to see what was happening. Carlos was at the register talking to a sales rep who shouted out a Hello as I entered the store. I hate that they do that.

Anyway, I walked to the register to hear Carlos say Sixty dollars? I asked what was wrong and he explained that they wanted $29.50 for the pants and another $29.50 for the shorts. Sixty dollars! he hissed again.

I smiled weakly at the cashier and said, You'll have to forgive him. He's not from around here. He's visiting from 1941 when pants were seventy-five cents.

Carlos. You gotta love him. Gutter man.

14 comments:

  1. Did you really tell the clerk Carlos was visiting from 1941? Hahaha!

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  2. You're so domestic!

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  3. Sweetie, you're missing the best part. The whole point of having a lawn is to hire young men to come cut it with their shirts off.

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  4. Anonymous1:56 PM

    The strategy with Old Navy, Gap et al is to wait until they start to change the seasonal merchandise. They mark things down to half or less.

    But that said, 20 miles to the nearest Old Navy? I'd convulse if I had to WALK more than a mild to a place like a mall. Yeah, I live that close to one, probably why I love living here.

    And lawns, hedges, etc. Yeah, had my experience with those. Never again. I even hate snow removal. This coming winter I'll just design a remote controlled snow blower. I can be inside toasty warm, and let the blower do its thing.

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  5. Gotta love the both of you. Nutha hilarious story. too hot and you're used to living in Miami?

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  6. I hated mowing when I was a kid and couldnt wait to move to the city and have someone else do it for me. Sixteen years later I have a yard again and love mowing. Odd, I know.

    Now as for Old Navy and Carlos, I too heard they were having a sale and went in to get a pair of shorts. Everything in the damn store was on sale except the shorts I wanted. I asked the sales person if they were really $29.50 and he said yes. I looked at him and said this isnt the Gap, it is Old Navy and walked out without the shorts!

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  7. Great story Bob. Carlos sounds great.

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  8. Humpf, so much for a relaxation day.

    I love mowing the grass. I think its because of the instant gratification; seeing the uniformly neat grass where I've mowed.

    You can buy a plastic gutter cleaner (with a handle) at Home Depot, Lowes, and likely most other hardware stores. It fits inside the gutter and allows you to scoop out the schlop without having to touch it. You definitely need one of these!

    Love these Carlos & Bob stories!

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  9. I love the Bob & Carlos Show, too! You guys are great! You are so funny about visiting from 1941!

    Oh to see Dan and Carlos at the same place dealing with salesclerks!

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  10. Agree with Joy...it would be like Will and Grace shopping or that episode when she tried shopping with her boyfriend.

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  13. I also hate it when sales rep shout hello at you when you step in the store. And what I hate most is when they say a lot of things when you just want to be left in peace while checking their products. Now I would rather shop in thrift strores at St. Louis where I feel the true freedom of shopping! Well, all that is done after I finished cleaning those gutters.

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