Thursday, July 02, 2009


Say you're married to a man, a slightly famous, though exceedingly boring, man, who has a tendency to, oh I don't know, say, disappear for days on end. And he does just that; he says he's on a hike. He needs time to think because you just recently kicked his cheating ass out of the house.

But, wonder of all wonders, he didn't take just any hike.

He hiked his lying cheating ass to the airport and flew down to Buenos Aires to see his fling. And he gets busted on his return trip home. He stammers and mutters something about traveling to exotic places to collect his thoughts. And his underwear from the floor of a cheap motel, I'm guessing.

So, he hold a news conference to apologize for his absence, for his lying and cheating. But, lo and behold, his first apology is not for his wife, nor for his children; his first apology is to the mistress, followed by one to a good friend. The wife comes in at number three.

But it gets worse.

In interviews days after his Mea Culpa New Conference and Cry-off, he tells how the mistress is his soul mate; how he was happy to have found her before he died; and yet, how he wants to reconcile with Mrs. Third Place. And how he has been bad with other women in the last twenty years or so. No sex with those women, they weren't his soul mate; but he danced with them and went places "he shouldn't have" gone.

Would you forgive and forget?
Would you toss his lying cheating clothes out a second story window?
Or, would you invest in a dog collar, some spiked heels and a whip?

Bad Governor! Bad!


frogponder said...

I'd have his party force him to resign and I'd take over as governor and do a much better job.

Anonymous said...

I'd have him fitted with a metal dog collar which would be welded closed.

That way he'd had his promises around his neck for all to see wherever he went.

Mind you - I'd also implant a chip so's he could be tracked.

Well, you did ask!

Beth said...

It amazes me that the guy just keeps...on...talking. Aren't his handlers telling him by now, "Mark! For the love of God, PLEASE shut up!"

Howard said...

First, I would remove his vocal chords. Then all the money from his bank account, and possibly his testicles. Forgiving would be very low on the list of things to do, and forgetting would never happen.