Monday, July 27, 2009

Summing Up Sunday

Well, another weekend has come and gone and Monday is here, hotter than hell already!

One day, while we were having the house painted, there was a knock at the front door. A pleasant looking woman stood there, clipboard in hand and asked for either me or Carlos by name.

I asked what she needed and she said she was here from the County tax assessment office to measure our pool. Our. Pool.

I was a bit taken aback, because, well, although we've only lived here two years I was nearly 100% certain that we didn't have a pool. And I told Pleasant Looking Woman just that.

Are you sure?
Well, I said, if we had a pool you would have found me in it by now.

I wish we had a pool today!

Yesterday we went to see the new Harry Potter movie. It was good; I always like Harry Potter, mostly because I spend the rest of the day walking around and saying Pott-ah for no reason. But it really felt like it was merely a set-up to the next two, the last two, movies to come. Good, not great.

Now, however, as we're sitting there, waiting for the film to start, they flash the Silence Your Cell Phones Now Please sign on the screen. I was thrilled to see the woman next to me open her purse, scoop out her phone and, well, not turn it off, but turn off the ringer. Silence. I get it now. I was ready to thank her because it always seems that a phone goes off in the movie theater these days.

But, during the movie, she must have opened her purse ten or fifteen times to see if she'd gotten a call. And every time that bag opened and she checked her phone, a light so bright poured out of her purse I thought that I was Carol Ann and it was Poltergeist.

Go into the light, Carol Ann. Go into the light.

I was a'scurred a'that light.

Carlos made his delicioso Banana/Walnut pancakes for breakfast.
Carlos took me to the movies.
Carlos made dinner. [Although to be fair the chicken was a little undercooked and had to be grilled a bit longer.]
Carlos cleaned the kitchen.
Carlos cleaned the bathroom.

I played Queen For A Day.

Carlos is still paying for Chicken-Carlos-Car Accident.

I am still not at liberty to say more.

I watched the Next Food Network Star.

Debbie got booted. I hate Debbie.

She's a liar. She's a crier.

One challenge was a group challenge and she was in charge of the cash. At the grocery store they came in over-budget and she made everyone on her team put something back while she kept all her ingredients. Then she lied to the judges about it and cried that they would question her integrity.

She was on another group challenge and only worked on her food while the rest of the team worked together and worked the room. She cried then, too.

Last week she was told she had to use anchovies, olives and capers in her food. She forgot the capers and, when questioned, she, oh, I don't know, lied about having to use capers. She said they were in the dressing; she said she didn't have capers; she said she forgot them.

Lied. Integrity. Cried.

Buh-bye Debbie.

Design Star.

Nathan is just the cutest little thing. I want to carry him around in my pocket and then take him out whenever I need a smile. He is so adorkable. Carlos doesn't get adorkable, but if he gets me Nathan for Christmas it'll be. The. Best. Christmas. Ever.

And then there's Dan.
The Man.

I want Dan to come redo my kitchen all by himself and let me watch. And as he works and works and bends over and wears those jeans for weeks on end, I'll watch.

Then, when he's done, I'll say something like, You know, I think Asian Modern was the wrong way to go. Can we change to Tuscan-French Country.

And he'd work. and I'd watch. And he'd finish. And I'd say.

I'm not really feeling the Tuscan-French Country. How about New York Loft-slash-Bible Belt Chic?

And it goes on.


frogponder said...

What?! We don't get to know why the chicken crossed the road? It didn't end up the undercooked chicken did it?

True story - The Engineer was in a car, as a kid, when the driver hit a chicken, stopped the car, picked up recently deceased chicken, took it home and fixed it for dinner. Fricasseed. To this day chicken has yet to be cooked in that fashion in this house.

Dan said...

I just love your little updates, but I can not wait ot hear the chicken story!

Larry Ohio said...

I love your updates also. And those pancakes look soooo good. Does Carlos make housecalls?

Wonder Man said...

I hated Debbie too

Stephen said...

You are so lucky to have a spouse like Carlos!!!
Wanna trade for a day?
Hugs from hot* hot* hot Portland!

David Dust said...

I usually like my menz to have bad attitudes and Parole Officers, but I'd make an exception for Design Star Dan. What a hottie.


Joy said...

Stop teasing us with this Carlos/Chicken/Car Accident carrot! We need to know! It must have been good for Carlos to do all that for you!

The HP movie did what it was supposed to and totally set up the movies from the last book. I hope they're filming those simultaneously like LOTR did. The casting is perfect in those movies - all of them!

mrpeenee said...

Hands off Dan, bitch, that is my Own Little Fantasy. And if you think he's going to redo my kitchen wearing anything other than a thong, you are sadly mistaken.

Berry Blog said...

This little series of vignettes is los of fun. Was Carlos' little day long spurt a compensation for whatever this chicken thing is? did he mow last week so you wouldn't find more gutters?

Mark in DE said...

Re: the woman asking if you were sure you didn't have a pool...
Spouse's mother once saw a woman in a restaurant that looked just like an old friend she hadn't seen in 20 years. 20 YEARS. She taps the woman on the shoulder and asks "Are you Pauline Bebo?" to which the woman answers "No." Then Spouse's mother says "Are you sure, cuz you look just like her!"

True story - I was there!

Jeremy said...

Im gonna see the new harry potter this afternoon! wohooo!