Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Sally Goes Beyond Asshat


Oklahoma wingnut, Repugnant Representative Sally Kern has issued a, get this, because it's good, Proclamation for Morality in which she blames the nation's current economic and other problems on gays, abortion, divorce, and all around lack of Christian faith. Her proclamation says, in part:

WHEREAS, the people of Oklahoma have a strong tradition of reliance upon the Creator of the Universe; and
WHEREAS, we believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national moral crisis; and
WHEREAS, this nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion, pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and many other forms of debauchery; and
WHEREAS, alarmed that the Government of the United States of America is forsaking the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built; and
WHEREAS, grieved that the Office of the president of these United States has refused to uphold the long held tradition of past presidents in giving recognition to our National Day of Prayer; and
WHEREAS, deeply disturbed that the Office of the president of these United States disregards the biblical admonitions to live clean and pure lives by proclaiming an entire month to an immoral behavior;
NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned elected officials of the people of Oklahoma, religious leaders and citizens of the State of Oklahoma, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma and of these United States, rests upon the Principles of Religion and Morality as put forth in the HOLY BIBLE

I once said that if the people of Oklahoma keep someone so bigoted, hateful and downright ignorant in office, then they deserve what they get. Now, I'd like to create my own I Should Be Laughing Proclamation On The People Of Oklahoma:

WHEREAS, if you elected her, listen to her, vote for her, agree with her, you are a dumb fuck.
WHEREAS, if you live in Oklahoma and don't see that Sally Kern's is an ignorant fool, who has twice been caught carrying a gun into the Oklahoma State Capitol Building, then you are a dumbfuck.
WHEREAS, if you do not do everything within the law and within your power to remove a woman so hateful as to blame anyone who is not a Christian for the ills of the world from office, you are a dumbfuck.
NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that if the people of Oklahoma don't do something about this they will now and forever be known as the Great State of Dumbfuckery.
Ah, men.

6 comments:

DuPree said...

I like your version waaaay better.

Why isn't Sally part of the celebrity death bonanza this week? I'd rather have Billy Mays back, even if he loud.

Beth said...

Hear, hear! I know of at least one person in OK who deplores this asshat's attitude, but then she is only one vote. :(

Ultra Dave said...

Why is she still in office? Or breathing? Maybe the saying, "The more you complain, the longer God makes you live," is true. Maybe she should actually do something while in office instead of keeping her name in the media as an example of religious stupidity.

Joy said...

Good post! (applaud)

edder said...

Holy crap!

Did you know this is the definition of "kern"? I think it's rather apropos.

kern (plural kerns)

1. A light-armed foot soldier of the ancient militia of Ireland and Scotland; often used as a term of contempt.

DuPree said...

edder: also "self righteous slag"