PR: All-Stars: Muse To.....MY EYES!!!!

Gathering in Central Park, the designtestants were told that they must scour the area looking for a muse, and the buy the clothes off the muses back, and turn those leftovers into some sort of fashion forward gift to the world. It was gonna get ugly, and I'm not just talking Mila's personality or Jerell's look.
Let's rip.....

KARA
She seemed the most stunned at having to ask people for their clothes, which she pronounced clo-thes, in her clipped Aussie way, but it was just that accent that helped get one guy to strip off his fuchsia Polo. Though I don't think anything would have happened to him, because Fuchsia Polo is a standard Homo Uniform. Ask anyone.
Burdened down with her clo-thes pickings, Kara heads off to Mood, where she overspends, and begins asking the other designers to toss some change her way. Mila...she's a bitch...stands off to one side...refusing to help. This is a recurring theme.
Kara's look on the runway was dubbed "understated chic" by Kara. Bob in Smallvile simply dubbed it "boring." 
A plain pair of pants topped with some kind of T-shirt-y, terry-cloth-y vest, and what looked like a swimsuit top. If that's fashion forward, I'll head back to the park, strip to my skivvies and call it a day.
The judges called it Safe.

MILA
She instantly starts whining about "casual park attire" but I think she was mostly concerned because it would be hard to find blacks, whites, and grays. Plus, there was that whole talking to people thing.
Mila goes nuts over the designers helping other designers in any way. She  muttered things like "It's a competition" and "I wouldn't help." I don't think she gets the concept of help, and Karma. I seriously can picture her stepping over a dying nun on the sidewalk in order to be first in line at Starbucks for her half-caf-half-decaf-double-Frappucino-with-soy-and-whipped-cream.. 
But let's talk about her look, not her lack of personality, compassion, or heart.
Her looks, I mean? Take a look-see at every single other post I've written this season because, once again, it was black and gray, with grey and white stripes. It's like the twin sister of every other thing she makes, and yet she called this week's look "hip and beautiful." 
This one-note blunder is really starting to make my ears bleed. And yet she's safe.

KENLEY
She was worried that New Yorkers might drop an F-bomb or two at her if she asked for their clothes, because that's what New Yorker's do; except, in Kenley's case, she throws cats...you know....like she did at her boyfriend a couple of years back...threw a cat at him....in a fight. Doesn't anyone read the gossip pages but me??
Anyway, Kenley was mostly quiet this episode--except for one moment that I will discuss at the end of this post lest I start laughing again and become incapable of finishing. But she was quite the opinionated one, offering advice to all the designers on shoes and belts, and helping Kara finish her pants.
That last bit sent Michael scurrying into the sewing room to report of Mila that Kenley practically made Kara's pants for her. I swear, watching those two kvetch over a Singer made me think of Almira Gulch and the Little Dog, too. Or maybe he looked more Flying Monkey? Yeah, Flying Monkey.
Kenley's look was Basic Kenley. Girly, and flirty and flouncy and poofy and....Wait a minute? Oscar de la Renta, oh no, she di'in't! It was a new Kenley. Sleek and chic.  Black and white--though not boring Mila B&W--with pops of color. Kenley said it was "perfect for work...or at a bar...or at dinner." My one complaint, it might have been perfect for making dinner because those pink pieces looked a little pot-holder to me.
Still, it was very nice, yet very Safe.

JERELL

I used to like Jerell in his season, but during All-stars he is all hot mess and no substance. All snark and no back up; all ego and totally wrong.
His muse was a giant tie-dyed skirt. Pretty fabric, it can go a lot of directions. And it did. It went tasteless. He made some sort of Oriental Rug looking shoulder piece, with a matching Oriental Rug waistband. He paired that with a striped bra, a mile-and-a-half of bare skin, and then the tie-dyed skirt. Jerell said he saw a lot of exposed skin in the park--again, men doffing shorts is not fashion--but declared that his look would not be slutty.
WRONG!!
I thought Anthony summed it up best when he said, "It looks like someone is Coming To America." But Austin saw Anthony's snark, and raised him an, "It's one of the most tasteless designs I've ever seen."
Jerell said he would go Top Three. No, scratch that, he was gonna win.
Cue ominous tribal drumming.
Kara said his look was "a lot of conversation" though all I heard it say was "WTF?" Jerell, however, heard the words, "Sexy, young Jerell" in his head. Which makes me think Jerell is legally deaf; and perhaps blind, too. I mean, parts were cool. The shoulder piece of carpet matched the waist piece of carpet. But the bra looked like it was a last minute decision so the model wouldn't go boobies on the runway.
Isaac rightly said it looked like a costume from The Lion King, albeit one of the scrapped costumes. He liked the mix of patterns but that three miles of bare stomach was just too much. Guest judge Sean Avery--hockey player and devout fashionista...which we decipher because he wears nerd glasses with pink frames and speaks in monotone--said it looked like a cross between Lady Gaga and Gwen Stefani at Burning Man on acid. And that wasn't a compliment. Georgina liked the shoulder detail, but the rest of the look was confusing, though she liked Jerell's thought process. Note to Georgina: it's Project Runway, not Project Thought Process.
Jerell gets saved by a carpet swatch.

MICHAEL
The bug eyes he used last week are gone, and sad eyes are back. Michael wanders the park like a homeless guy looking for a sandwich, or a bottle of Mad Dog. No one will give him anything, until some poor girl, forced to wear a crocheted poncho, seizes the opportunity and gives him her clothes.
He said he was inspired, and that the light came to him, and chickens hatched and Jesus came back. I'm guessing if Jesus really did come back, he would have come model-stomping across the Central Park Reservoir and smacked Michael in the head, while saying, "A poncho? Really, Michael? What would Diana von Furstenberg do?"
And sadly, back in the workroom, his muse has gone, leaving Michael to take the poncho...dear Jesus....and make cap sleeves out it that automatically scream DOILY, and then AUF'D.
So he scracthed the doilies, and dumped the ponchos, and turned shorts into a shirt and a shirt into a...diaper. I mean, WTH was that? Swimsuit? Granny pants? Diaper?
Kara called it "daring," though I think she meant it like, "How dare you?"
WTF was it? According to Michael, "It's refreshing." Like something you might put on after a bath, or to wear to bed? Mila petted her little lap dog and said, "She's very elegant." Mila's an idiotic bitch.
Georgina dubbed it way too short, while Angela asked the obvious question, WTF is it? Isaac was a'scurred of the saggy top, and stammered, "Really?" And yet Sean Avery's only complaint was that it was too bare and needed a coat or something. Like a skirt, maybe? Like the rest of an outfit, perhaps?
Michael, sorry to say, should have gone for this tragic mess.

ANTHONY
This challenge was made for him. He said he'd been getting "daggers" from people because of his ginormous personalty, but he knew that running through the park asking people to strip for money--which I think is a crime even in New York--was right up his alley. His first muse was a woman wearing what Monodo called a "trippy polyester" dress. He took that, and some t-shirts, and then he met Diego, or as Anthony called him, "Hot white guy." And Anthony charmed the pants right off him. People laughed and giggled and pointed as Diego doffed his shorts and then touched himself gratuitously. I didn't understand that. I mean, that kinda stuff happens in the park all the time, when men get down to their skivvies and adjust their junk. I mean, I haven't done that....I HAVEN'T!
:::foot stomp head snap:::::
Back to business. Anthony opts to forgo the gowns for which he is known, and make a cape jacket, some hot pants, and a blouse. Fine, until that morphs into pants, a cardigan and a blouse, which morphs into a jacket, which becomes a onesie jumper. The trippy fabric he bought from his muse is left to become a purse and people worry that Anthony isn't following the rules.
"I know how to meet the requirements of the challenge."
Cue ominous disco drumming.
Where is his inspiration on the catwalk? No trippy pattern anywhere except on that purse. It was boring. it looked like something Joan Crawford would have slipped on after she got out of the pool, just having beaten Cristina in swimming laps. I mean, a turban? A f%&$@ing turban?
Angela was concerned that just the bag and the top and the turban were his co-opted fabrics, which meant he didn't follow the requirements of the challenge, Anthony! But she still thought the model looked beautiful. Sean Avery said he's do a "double back" if she passed him on the street. I think he was high when he said that. Or maybe stupid. Isaac also called it lovely, but lazy, and agreed with Georgina that Anthony failed to follow the rules.
It was Goodbye Anthony, who was last seen in the park trying to get Diego back into his pants.

RAMI
As always, he plays nice with others. In fact, he's so polite and so nice, I worry about him in the park asking strangers to remove their clothes. I wished I had been there to show him how it's done. Not that I've.......I HAVEN'T!!
In the end, he gets a kind of retro looking man's shirt, and a man's jacket, and will swap those out into women's wear.
I think he was on a roll, until he walked up to the Neiman Marcus accessory wall and picked a hat to put on his model. I kept thinking, "A hat? No, Rami, don't do it."
But he did. And he declared his look to be "beautiful, feminine, and elegant." And it was. It didn't pack the Wow, because the colors were subdued, but his craftsmanship was perfect. The trim on the shorts matched the trim on the ruffled top. The vest did nothing for me and the hat seemed out of place.
But it's perfectly made, and beautiful and feminine and elegant.
My only real complaint? What happened to the tank top Rami?
Georgina loved the trim and the attention to detail, and the exquisite tailoring. That's one thing about Rami, his clothes always look finished. Isaac loved the look, but missed the drama, while Angela liked the idea of the new take on a  woman's suit. Sean Avery  didn't like the hat. As soon as he saw the hat, it was over for him. I bet he owns that hat.
Rami gets a Third Place finish this week.

AUSTIN
He seems to be channeling one of the more fey characters from 1969's "Hello Dolly" by rocking the straw hat. He also seemed to spend most of his time not looking for muses, but cruising the park.
Finally, out of all the people in the park he might find muse-worthy, Austin settled on a Goth girl, with sharpened talons of black and gold, and finger gloves, and leather and shredded clothing. I'm smelling misfire, Austin. But he says he can turn her into Punk Chic or Goth Glam, or something. I was still thinking about Diego and his full briefs.
PS Austin snarked that while Anthony got Diego's shorts, he got Diego's phone number. But, I suspect that, later that night, while laying in bed at the Flatotel, he dialed that number, and discovered it was a Chinese restaurant.
Back to his clo-thes, er, clothes. His look was leather and epaulets, and, according to Mila, that one-note wonder, "overworked and cheap." This from a woman whose design knows one-direction, moody, depressed, suicidal.
But Austin nailed it. I was worried about him because he likes the pretty and he was doing the Goth, but he nailed it. He called his model the "coolest, baddest bitch on the block," and I agree.
Georgina loved the proportion, but thought the collar was a bit off. It was sweet, but tough. Sean Avery thought there was too much detail on the left shoulder and I thought Sean Avery was a douche-y nitpicker. Isaac, however, also mentions the shoulder detail and the ripped stockings and thought it might be too much, but it was actually fabulous. Angela thought his muse would be very happy to see it. 
Austin gets the Show. Or, since this isn't a horse race, Second Place.

MONDO
After being robbed at least once, probably twice, of a win, this was Mondo's to lose. Even he said that he used to buy old clothes and restructure them into something else. All he needed was the right outfit, and there was Grace. In a psychedelic print that looked totally Mondo.
The challenge so suited him, that it even forced a genuine smile on Mila's face, albeit for a nanosecond, and she actually complimented his skill and mixing textiles and patterns. And, in fact, Mondo used twenty-two pieces to make a single jacket, so Mila had a right to be impressed. It left me thinking we were seeing a softer Mila, but I think it was an exhausted Mila who forgot she's still kind of a bitch.
On the runway, his look was purrrrrr-fection. All Mondo; totally Mondo. He said it had "great energy" and it did. It was kind of retro, but totally current, and fashion forward. My only complaint? I got a bit of Jodie Foster, teenage hooker in Taxi Driver....without the floppy whore hat.
Angela said she would die for that look, and I think there might be a battle over who gets to wear it. Georgina loved all the detailed work, especially in the back. Sean Avery mumbled something like, "I can blah blah blah lotta girls blah blah blah wearing that." Isaac loved that it was bare, but covered up--note to Jerell, that's how it's done.
And that's how one wins a challenge.
It was a long time coming, Mondo, but well-deserved!


Okay, so there you have it.
Mondo finally, rightfully, won. 
But, I would have liked to have seen how all the muses--especially Diego, whom I still think is in the park in his drawers--felt about the work the designers had done with their clothes.
Again, however, the wrong one went home. I know Anthony didn't follow the parameters of the challenge, but Jerell's look was ho-rrific, and Michael's look was just plain awful.
And, how can we lose Anthony, when he got off the line of the night, and, quite possibly, the line of the season, and all seasons:

"Kenley is loud. And when a Black person says that you are loud, you are too loud."

I'll be using that line for at least a week, maybe longer.
What did you think?