PR: All-Stars: A Grand Old Flag....Not So Much

As the sun comes up over the Flatotel, we find Lady Mila Killjoy reminiscing about the last challenge when she was very nearly eliminated. She looks to the camera, and says, with a straight face...and rigid hair..."I hope to wow the judges."
Cue ominous drumming.
The designtestants are all awakened by Kenley's disturbing laugh and then they skedaddle down to the United Nations where they come upon Angela and a table of flags. It's all "Ooh, the UN" and "such a powerful place" and "problem solving" and then it's down to business. The task this week is to make a dress inspired by the flag of one member of the Untied Nations.
And we're off......

AUSTIN
He picked the Seychellles because he confused it with a Suzy Seashell tongue twister. Not a good way to pick a flag, especially one with bright red, blue, white, yellow and green in it. He also picked the Seychelles because he knows nothing about it and he loves to learn.
M'kay.
But it's tropical, so Austin will go beachy and flowy and drapey and fluttery, although he picks muddled, watered down colors to use. They don't say beachy fun, they say "It's raining and we have to stay in our hotel room all day."
And as soon as he begins to work he sees the error of his ways. Much is made of Austin pouting at his work table, bemoaning the fact that he will be unable to do his usual perfection. 
M'kay. Austin has a sad, and Mondo says it's his dress. Austin worries that the fabrics are off, the colors are sad and it's too short and there isn't enough fabric and what will he wear on the runway and how will he do his hair and....
Oh, the dress. It was sad. And the model was sad, again. I don't know if it's because Austin keeps putting her in ugly dresses, or if being sad is her Thing, but week to week she looks as miserable as this Seychelles D-I-saster. Austin, also has a sad, and hopes "the judges won't be too picky."
Good luck with that. Georgina thought it pretty, but the colors lacked the vibrancy of the Seychelles flag. Isaac said it looked tortured, and that Austin must have suffered making it. He also said, "It's not terrible," and Angela added that it wasn't the worst dress they've seen this season. Oh, how the compliments flow....Catharine Malandrino thought maybe, if it was a prototype, and you could work on it some more, it might be okay.
Ouch.
Austin barely misses Bottom Two.

JERELL
India grabbed him, because he likes embellishment and ethnic and that's what he does.
And he starts off with a see-through top, upon which he builds a gilded bustier and attaches white, silver studded stripes down the arm of the see-through top. Seriously, I'm not kidding.
When Joanna Coles comes by, her first thought is that it looks like the Indian National Costume, or some kind of Delhi airport souvenir. It's too much, she says, but Jerell, who talks a good game, throws around words like ethnic and opulence to distract her, and then he goes right back into costume design.
Or, as Austin calls it, tasteless and hideous and vulgar.
And it was hideous when it hit the runway. As usual, with the exception of last week, Jerell has created another dress that looks like two different outfits worn together. The strapless dress is ethnic opulence, but the sheer top with the racing stripes reads hooker, and the sari says, well, sorry. Jerell says, "It's exactly what I was going for."
Angela liked the white stripe down the sleeve, until Isaac said it looked like Nike India, and that it was badly sewn and all sorts of wonky. Angela then decided it was India Barbie. Catharine Malandrino liked it, but thought the draping covered up too much of a much better dress. Georgina rightfully noted that there were too many idea, from stripes to jewels to head pieces to saris to bustiers. Too much of a costume.
Jerell goes Bottom Two and almost goes home, except........

LADY MILA KILLJOY
Her flag of choice was Papua New Guinea because it was black and red, naturally, with a hint of yellow. As she learns more about the people of Papua New Guinea, she discovers a lot of tribal elements in their society. But she won't use those because she wants to do Mila, and only Mila and eff the challenge. Her look, she tells us, will really feel runway.
Seriously......cue ominous drumming.
Her dress will be black on one side, and red on the other; short on one side and long on the other. It will also, I'm assuming, be ugly from every direction.
She tells her story of Joanna, about the Bird of Paradise on the flag and how that symbolizes freedom. Then she says one side of her dress is long because that symbolizes freedom, too. I'm thinking she took Jerell's online course in Bullshitting the Mentor 101. But Austin likes it, which says a lot more about Austin than I ever wanted to know. Of course, Mila concurs and says it looks like something from an expensive boutique, and by that, I think she means something used to mop up spills in an expensive boutique.
Hers was the WTF moment. And that was followed by a No, Really, WTF moment. I cannot see anyone, not even Gaga, wearing this ridiculous outfit, but that didn't stop Mila from saying, "I love this look...the dress fits....the length is perfect...[I say, Which side?]...and the judges look intrigued." Sometimes, Mila, honey, the onset of vomiting is masked as intrigue.
Georgina politely said it looked like Mila--and I'm not sure that's a compliment. Isaac thought it looked less Papua New Guinea and more Communist. He sad it was disturbing to look at, but that was probably Mila's intent, so....Brava! Angela liked the neckline, which is why women buy an entire dress, but hated the weird long and short of it. Catharine Malandrino said there was no thought process to the dress.
But the last thought was, Goodbye Mila.
It's about time.

MICHAEL
He opts for the Greek flag because he's Greek. Jerell said he picked it because it's Greek and draping, and Greek and draping is all Michael does.
And that's what he does. He buys trims first; some blue velvets and some silvery bling. And then he gets some lovely white fabric and makes a drapey, Greek-y looking dress.
And he tells us that this is his challenge because he's Greek, you know. And because, like judge Georgina Chapman, of Marchesa, he designs tasteful elegant delicious gowns. 
Mila calls it a pageant dress, and, well, I actually concur. Joanna worries about the bra-ability of Michael's design, as well, I'm thinking, of the panties-ability of it. She also questions whether Michael is being ambitious enough, you know, because he's draping and all. But, he tells her that he is also Greek. And he feels comfortable with his dress, even if it looks, as he says, Miss Greece 2000.
Austin says, Greeced lightning, but Mondo corrects him, Greeced frightening.
And on the runway, Here she is.......All it needed was a huge bouquet of roses, a crown and a scepter, though Michael was worried about the butt-scraping low-cut back. He told the judges he was Greek and that's why he chose Greek and that's why he draped, and did he mention that he was Greek? 
Georgina called it "acceptable" which is designer-speak for "Off with his head!" And she used the word of the episode, Pageant, in describing it. Angela thought the bow was better suited for a Christmas gift, for someone you don't like, I'm guessing. Isaac thought the bow ruined an otherwise okay dress. Catharine Malandrino thought that even with the light fabric, it was too heavy, and too Pageant.
Still, there were far worse things on the runway that day and Michael is safe.

KENLEY
As the last to be chosen, she was left with the flag of Chile. [Note: since I've been with Carlos I've picked up several Spanish pronunciations, this being one. I used to say, Chilly, or Chili, but now I say, Chee-lay. I get looks from many a Smallvillian when I say that.]
Anyhoo, Kenley is making a fun, flirty, party dress inspired by the 1940s like she does every week. This week, however, she's mixing it up because she's not using poka dots, but rather polka hearts. Way to step out of the box, Kenley. Joanna mentions Kenley's basic one-note style of designing, and then Kenley mentions that she's taking a risk by doing an asymmetrical, two different patterned fabrics, dress. Um, but a two-second Google shows us that Kenley did this same dress on her season of the PR.
Not so very All-Stars Kenley.
It was deja vu all over again when that dress hit the runway, but Kenley, in Delusionville, said it was "beautiful....she could go to a party" which is what she says every week about everything she makes. 
Georgia liked the attitude of the dress but didn't think it went far enough, and Catharine Malandrino thought it beautiful, young, and urban. Isaac liked the spirit but begged Kenley to stop making this dress, and be more daring. Angela didn't get Chee-lay until Kenley told her story about ruffles and mixed fabrics, and the she called it modern and fun. Angela makes as much sense as Kenley.
And, again, with far worse things on the runway, Kenley goes Second Place.

MONDO
As last week's winner, Mondo picks first and he heads straight for Jamaica, mon, because he likes the colors: black, yellow and green.
He makes it clear from the start that his dress will not be able to be run up a flagpole in lieu of a flag. He will not be taking the challenge literally. 
He's going very simple; a long, slinky black dress with a sexy back, and a pop of green and yellow chevrons down the back. Joanna Coles takes one look at it, and her lone question is about being able to wear a bra. 
In this episode, Joana had bras on the brain. And, eevn though I don't know much about them, I don't think bras go on the brain
But his dress didn't need a bra because it was too busy being a Wow moment again. I mean, it was simple, slinky, black and sexy; it was like Diana Ross became a gown. It was sexy enough to turn this gay man straight.....into a Mondo superfan. 
I was, however, not a fan of the head wrap; the dreads, yes, the head wrap, not so much. It was, as he said, "elegant...fun,...sophisticated." 
Georgina loved that it said Jamaica without screaming it. Catharine Malandrino loved the dress, but hated the dreads and the head wrap. Isaac thought the fabric looked fresh but didn't love the In-Your-Face-Jamaica-ness of the back. Angela thought it safe.
But, really, it was the winner.

Oh, yeah, and about Kenley's dress. Remember in her season when Kors and Nina--god I miss Nina--called her out for "referencing" other designers? Well, here's the dress she made in her season, upon which she "referenced" the dress she made last night.
So, there you have it.


What did you think?