Saturday, February 11, 2012

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

I guess the homophobe doesn't fall far from the....ALLEGEDLY self-loathing-closeted-homosexual...tree. OMG did I say that out loud?
Back in the day, when Tommy was a nubile young buck starring in Risky Business, his co-star, Bronson Pinchot, said this about him: "He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, ‘You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?’ I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, ‘It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.’ Very, very strange.”
So, that makes this story all the more plausible.
See, Tommy's son, Connor, is a Patriots fan, and Todd Krim, his representative--yes he has representation because he wants to go into show biz--is not. Well, after the Patriots lost, and probably right around the same time that Gisele Bundchen was having her meltdown, Krim sent  Connor a playfully gloating text: “Sorry @TheConnorCruise maybe next year!!!”  . 
Connor wasn't having it, and went all gay slur on it, Tweeting back: “That was a gay ass [bleeping] tweet . . . U don’t say [bleep] like that about my team the second they lose. Low.”
Methinks Connor has been drinking too long from the Font of Homophobia KoolAid at the Scientology Headquarters. And, once the the Tweet was out, you know Tommy went all sassy on his son and demanded he apologize. I mean, there's only room for one raging homophobe in the Cruise house, so, Connor non-apologized: “What I texted was unacceptable. It is not a reflection of who I am and what I feel, and it certainly won’t happen again.”
Until the next time he gets his panties in a twist. Or maybe he'll just threaten $100 million lawsuits like his daddy.

I didn't see much of Madonna's halftime show at the Superbowl because I was busy watching Downton Abbey.
Deal with it.
But I heard about the bird-flipping incident caused by M.I.A. and don't get why people are all verklempt. I mean, you can see that hand gesture anywhere these days. Sure it makes M.I.A. look like a moron but what do you expect from someone who calls themselves M.I.A.?
But the good part, er, funny part, er snarky part, is that Madge is ALLEGEDLY fuming over the whole thing because The Finger is a bigger topic of conversation than her performance. A source--and by source, I think it's Lourdes--says, “Madonna wasn’t impressed. She prides herself on professionalism. M.I.A did nothing similar in rehearsals. Nobody knew she was going to pull this stunt. Madonna wanted to put on a world-beating performance. But everyone ended up talking about this girl’s middle finger.”
M.I.A. did nothing like it in rehearsals? Isn't that just what MTV said all those years ago when Madonna liplocked Britney--before she went crazy--and Christina--before she got fat--on TV?
Pot. Kettle. Madonna.

Lohan didn't do anything this week to cause trouble, but she's always good for a headline. Especially because she shows up anywhere, like the opening of an envelope.But at a recent amFAR event in NYC, the wacktress showed up looking all kinds of cracked out. The hair was cracked. The dress was cracked. The face was beyond cracked.
First off: Bangs? Oh, honey, No. You just know that Lohan, in a fit of vodka and prescription meds, found the kindergarten scissors one night took 'em to her hair. But then there's the eyes, and the crazy nose, and the not-so-ALLEGEDLY new lips. Or mouth. Or maw.
She's all posing and smiling and twisting and turning and she looks like she's high as a kite. Or as crazy as Umbrella Britney.
Lohan still has a few months left on her probation and this does not bode well.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino wants everyone to know that GTL stands for "gym, tan, laundry"--not in LGBT, you know.
He is ALLEGEDLY miffed at fellow reality show media whores--and I don't mean a Kardashian, this time--Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley after they hinted he might be gay in an interview.
"Mike really ripped both Snooki and JWoww a new one," a show insider--and by insider, I mean, The Situation's best boy--said, because, you know, Sorrentino is worried that those comments could hurt the endorsements that he targets at nubile young straight men.
In the interview, JWoww and Snooki imply that Mike has questioned his own sexuality: "He brings it up," JWoww says. "He'll say, 'People think I'm gay and I don't know what they're talking about.'" 
Snooki raised her head from the toilet bowl, to add: "He told me one time, '[All the talk is] making me wonder.'"
Hey, girls, and I use the term girls loosely, stop saying The Situation is gay. We don't want him on our team. Seriously.
He's like a walking petri dish of STDs. ALLEGEDLY. And so are the two of you.

So, is it a baby or a marketing tool?
You be the judge.
Blue Ivy Carter--Jay Z and Beyonce's bundle of money--is barely a month old, and she’s already an official brand. Beyonce and Jay-Z have filed paperwork to trademark BIC. 
Seriously. Rolling Stone reports that the new mom and dad filed an application with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to protect their daughter’s name; the music superstars intend to use Blue Ivy as a potential brand name for a line of baby products, including carriages, diaper bags and baby cosmetics.
The application to make the baby a company was made through the mama's company, and the couple says they're merely trademarking their child because other people might try to use the name and they want first rights at marketing their offspring.
After all, they ALLEGEDLY paid someone good money to have that baby for them.
Just sayin'. 
Is it a baby or a moneymaker.

Supermodel with the super-big-mouth Gisele Bundchen has been big news all week because of her comments about Tom Brady’s teammates after the Super Bowl. The Patriots feel betrayed and their wives feel insulted.
And everybody has an opinion on whether or not Gisele is a mouthy bitch. And yet, remarkably, the one person staying silent on the whole issue is Gisele's hubby, Tom Brady. He hasn't even stepped up to defend the missus for her rant.
What does that mean? Well, the Enquirer knows: sources--and by sources I mean Tom Brady's team of beauty experts...because you know it takes a village to keep him looking hot--says he is incensed over his wife's big-mouthery, and added, “Gisele was out of control! Tom prides himself on his professionalism and here was his wife screaming at reporters. He was embarrassed--and furious! Out of sight of the others, he let her know it. ‘Zip it!,’ he told her. He sacked her, telling her she’s got to keep her feelings to herself.”
Um, I get a different impression of how Tom sacks Gisele. 
Really, he should just tape her mouth shut.

When I first read this story I got a whole different take on it.
Rumor has it that Jennifer Lopez and her boy-toy, Casper Smart are looking to adopt.
My first thought was, "She wants to adopt him?"
But then I realized that they mean JLo and The Boy want a baby to call their own. You know, something to play with; something to keep Casper busy while MamaLo works; something to rub in  Marc Anthony's face--though I'm sure he and his Baby Girlfriend will be rushing to the adoption agency on JLo's heels.
And JLo thinks Casper would be a good baby daddy because she already let's her kids call him  “Daddy Casper,” or maybe that was "Big Brother Casper"?
This sort of fits in with the JLo M.O. She doesn't date; she marries. And, so, why not marry the boy and the pick up a little bundle of future income like Beyonce and Jay Z?
It's all the rage.

7 comments:

  1. How did I not patent the brand that is my children quickly after they were born? What was I thinking? I fear that Lindsey will die soon and I am not saying that to be mean...she is just all sort of f$#cked up. Finally, could care less about Giselle, but as for Connor Cruise, does no one realize that a Tweet is forever. Stupid people! Love that you thought MamaLo would adopt Casper the friendly boytoy!

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  2. On the whole halftime show thing. Look I watched Granny Ciconne and for 53 yrs old she did well. As far as her professionalism, I would agree she has always strived for the very best, take for example her coffee table book with her vagina exposed, now those are perfection. Shame on you M. I. A. you bad bad girl. Anyways if you've followed M. I. A. and her career you know that bitch is a loose cannon on live tv.

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  3. Anonymous10:49 AM

    Isn't M.I.A. a cheap shoe brand?

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  4. In teacher school we learned about children of poverty and the issues they have to deal with. Also children of abuse. So I'm thinking children of whacked out celebrities might quality as a category of concern.

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  5. I've got breaking Lohan news!

    I read this morning that she went to some auction, and found out that some rich Canadian was there. She sent someone over to him, to suggest that he bid on some $20,000 watch as a gift for her. Apparently, the guy laughed, and someone else bought it, and did NOT give it to Lohan.

    Yikes.

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  6. OHHHHHH , your gonna be in hot water now Bob! "I guess the homophobe doesn't fall far from the....ALLEGEDLY self-loathing-closeted-homosexual...tree. OMG did I say that out loud?" Tommy is gonna sue your ass, take your house, your belongings, own Smallville, and take Carlos as his sex slave! Nice knowing ya.

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  7. Who are all these strange people of which you speak, and what sort of contribution do they make to the human race?...er... I'm assuming that most of them are human... Though one or two of them do look a bit dodgy...

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