This guy's going to do just fine. His mother is super supportive. Times they are a-changin' ... and for the better. It seems to be getting a little bit easier to come out.
I got caught by surprise- when his mother talks about other peoples' bigotry I started crying. Her feelings are so close to my own. When my daughter told me, I also said "I thought so, but thank you for telling me". My daughter's relationship makes her happy. Her partner is such a positive part of her life--how could I not be happy for them both?! But it's a part of her life that she chooses to keep private from all but our closest friends. Because of the bigotry. It's hard.
Wow, this whole thing made me feel super creeped out.
I felt terrible for the mother, having to be filmed like that for one of the most significant moments of her and son's relationship, and the whole time the kid is busy fingering his phone. I would have taken his damn phone and threw it out the window if I was his mother.
If he was my son and that's how he chose to come out to me, I'd be very disappointed in him, and also be very disappointed in myself because obviously as a parent I did something wrong in raising him for him to be more concerned about his damn phone and YouTube video than communicating with me. How disrespectful!
The mother was an unwitting participant in the son's selfish quest to use a deeply personal moment to get a bunch of hits on YouTube. It is shameful and I'm disgusted by it. This should be an example of how NOT to come out to a parent.
Attention gay kids: put down the phone and turn off the video and look your parents in the eye when you come out to them. I got news for you, they already know. You won't be shocking them. But this is an important step you must take in your life and in theirs. Show them, and yourself, some respect by unplugging for the few minutes it takes to say "Mom I'm queer".
Well well well. My comment is not so much about the video but more about Cubby's comment. I loved the video. I loved his Mom's response. I completely get it. I get why he had the phone. I get why he Hee hawed around and I understand why he Recorded it. Everyone has there own way of coping. That is a huge first step (coming out to a parent) and it changes everything in a young persons life. I don't think I have to give examples either. Not every parent already knows either. And who gives a shit if they ( a parent) knows. It doesn't mean a fucking thing until you can gather up the courage to say it. I wouldn't give a flying fuck if my child was fingering fucking the radio in the kitchen while trying to talk to me, as long as he's not hanging from a god damn rope in the closet. Enough with the labels. Why in the fuck are we even having to say we are queer??? Or a fag??? Anyho. I loved this. Maybe in my lifetime we won't be having to make a god damn announcement, maybe we will just be. Did I say I loved this video??
This is a very interesting story Bob. His Mom was great. My coming out to my Mom was a little bit different. I came out to her in 1963 when I was 22 years old. She was visiting me in my one room efficiency apartment one Saturday morning. She had a habit of dropping by unannounced. She couldn't understand why I wanted my own apartment and not live at home with her and my dad after I got out of the Army. That morning she stopped by unannounced my married friend Bob (who had three small children and he was lying to his wife where he was) and I were in bed doing "it." When I heard the knock at the door I told Bob to go into the bathroom. My Mom stayed for over two hours and then before she left said she had to use the bathroom. There was no way out for me this time both literally and figuratively. I decided now was the time to tell her. I told her "You can't go into the bathroom because someone is in there." She said "Who?" I told her it was a "friend of mine." She said "Why is he hiding in the bathroom?" I had had enough so I told her "Because I am a homosexual (the word "gay" wasn't invented back in those days - the Sixties) and we were in bed together when you knocked on the door. I told him to hide in the bathroom until you left." Well, she went berserk. Literally. The screaming "I don't believe this! What did I do wrong? What is the matter with you? I tried to raise you right!" I told her that she didn't do anything wrong and that I was always knew I was "different" from my earliest memory. While she was going through her hysterics I went to the bathroom and told Bob to leave. He had to go by her (we were in the kitchen) to get out of the apartment. Her eyes almost popped out of her head when she saw him. I felt so sorry for him, he was like a scared rabbit even though he was and "older" man (29 to my 22, back then he seemed "old.") Bob left through the one door into my garden level apartment and she continued with her hysterics. Then she told me "I'm going to get your father and we're taking you to the hospital!" I hollered back at her "There is nothing wrong with me!" She left and about 20 minutes later my father and both of my younger brothers arrived at the front door of my apartment. They seemed puzzled and not wanting to be there. She was the one who was most upset. They literally tried to pull me out of my apartment by both of my arms. We struggled for a short while, while my father looked on. Finally they gave up and left. The next nine months were a blur for me. I don't remember anything except that we didn't have contact with each other. When I did hear from her I had met Bill (my present partner) and was living with him in New Jersey. She invited me for Thanksgiving Dinner. I think she finally "accepted" that I was gay and this was a peace offering. I told her (on the phone) that I would come but that "Bill" is coming with me. She said "Who is Bill"?" I told her "he is my lover (the term used for partners back In The Day). She paused then said "Okay." Bill and I arrived for Thanksgiving dinner and after a few awkward moments, my family realized that Bill was no monster. They "accepted him." As a matter of fact, Bill was only four years younger than my Mother. They became best friends. So much so that my father at time got jealous. I had to remind him that Bill was gay. That wasn't always good enough for him so there was sometimes that tension. In time my Father and Bill also became friends. My father and mother are both gone now but both of my brothers love Bill. Sometimes I think they like him more than they like me! That's my Story Bob. I sure would have liked to have seen my first "conversation" with my Mom on video like this video. Now that would have been some video.
This guy's going to do just fine. His mother is super supportive. Times they are a-changin' ... and for the better. It seems to be getting a little bit easier to come out.
ReplyDeleteI got caught by surprise- when his mother talks about other peoples' bigotry I started crying. Her feelings are so close to my own. When my daughter told me, I also said "I thought so, but thank you for telling me". My daughter's relationship makes her happy. Her partner is such a positive part of her life--how could I not be happy for them both?! But it's a part of her life that she chooses to keep private from all but our closest friends. Because of the bigotry. It's hard.
ReplyDeletethis was nice
ReplyDeleteWow, this whole thing made me feel super creeped out.
ReplyDeleteI felt terrible for the mother, having to be filmed like that for one of the most significant moments of her and son's relationship, and the whole time the kid is busy fingering his phone. I would have taken his damn phone and threw it out the window if I was his mother.
If he was my son and that's how he chose to come out to me, I'd be very disappointed in him, and also be very disappointed in myself because obviously as a parent I did something wrong in raising him for him to be more concerned about his damn phone and YouTube video than communicating with me. How disrespectful!
The mother was an unwitting participant in the son's selfish quest to use a deeply personal moment to get a bunch of hits on YouTube. It is shameful and I'm disgusted by it. This should be an example of how NOT to come out to a parent.
Attention gay kids: put down the phone and turn off the video and look your parents in the eye when you come out to them. I got news for you, they already know. You won't be shocking them. But this is an important step you must take in your life and in theirs. Show them, and yourself, some respect by unplugging for the few minutes it takes to say "Mom I'm queer".
Well well well. My comment is not so much about the video but more about Cubby's comment.
ReplyDeleteI loved the video. I loved his Mom's response.
I completely get it.
I get why he had the phone. I get why he Hee hawed around and I understand why he Recorded it.
Everyone has there own way of coping.
That is a huge first step (coming out to a parent) and it changes everything in a young persons life. I don't think I have to give examples either. Not every parent already knows either.
And who gives a shit if they
( a parent) knows. It doesn't mean a fucking thing until you can gather up the courage to say it.
I wouldn't give a flying fuck if my child was fingering fucking the radio in the kitchen while trying to talk to me, as long as he's not hanging from a god damn rope in the closet.
Enough with the labels. Why in the fuck are we even having to say we are queer??? Or a fag???
Anyho. I loved this. Maybe in my lifetime we won't be having to make a god damn announcement, maybe we will just be.
Did I say I loved this video??
Well said, Sam.
ReplyDeleteIt's not HOW you come out is that you DO come out.
This is a very interesting story Bob. His Mom was great. My coming out to my Mom was a little bit different. I came out to her in 1963 when I was 22 years old. She was visiting me in my one room efficiency apartment one Saturday morning. She had a habit of dropping by unannounced. She couldn't understand why I wanted my own apartment and not live at home with her and my dad after I got out of the Army. That morning she stopped by unannounced my married friend Bob (who had three small children and he was lying to his wife where he was) and I were in bed doing "it." When I heard the knock at the door I told Bob to go into the bathroom. My Mom stayed for over two hours and then before she left said she had to use the bathroom. There was no way out for me this time both literally and figuratively. I decided now was the time to tell her. I told her "You can't go into the bathroom because someone is in there." She said "Who?" I told her it was a "friend of mine." She said "Why is he hiding in the bathroom?" I had had enough so I told her "Because I am a homosexual (the word "gay" wasn't invented back in those days - the Sixties) and we were in bed together when you knocked on the door. I told him to hide in the bathroom until you left." Well, she went berserk. Literally. The screaming "I don't believe this! What did I do wrong? What is the matter with you? I tried to raise you right!" I told her that she didn't do anything wrong and that I was always knew I was "different" from my earliest memory. While she was going through her hysterics I went to the bathroom and told Bob to leave. He had to go by her (we were in the kitchen) to get out of the apartment. Her eyes almost popped out of her head when she saw him. I felt so sorry for him, he was like a scared rabbit even though he was and "older" man (29 to my 22, back then he seemed "old.")
ReplyDeleteBob left through the one door into my garden level apartment and she continued with her hysterics. Then she told me "I'm going to get your father and we're taking you to the hospital!" I hollered back at her "There is nothing wrong with me!" She left and about 20 minutes later my father and both of my younger brothers arrived at the front door of my apartment. They seemed puzzled and not wanting to be there. She was the one who was most upset. They literally tried to pull me out of my apartment by both of my arms. We struggled for a short while, while my father looked on. Finally they gave up and left.
The next nine months were a blur for me. I don't remember anything except that we didn't have contact with each other. When I did hear from her I had met Bill (my present partner) and was living with him in New Jersey. She invited me for Thanksgiving Dinner. I think she finally "accepted" that I was gay and this was a peace offering. I told her (on the phone) that I would come but that "Bill" is coming with me. She said "Who is Bill"?" I told her "he is my lover (the term used for partners back In The Day). She paused then said "Okay." Bill and I arrived for Thanksgiving dinner and after a few awkward moments, my family realized that Bill was no monster. They "accepted him." As a matter of fact, Bill was only four years younger than my Mother. They became best friends. So much so that my father at time got jealous. I had to remind him that Bill was gay. That wasn't always good enough for him so there was sometimes that tension. In time my Father and Bill also became friends. My father and mother are both gone now but both of my brothers love Bill. Sometimes I think they like him more than they like me! That's my Story Bob. I sure would have liked to have seen my first "conversation" with my Mom on video like this video. Now that would have been some video.
Touching story Ron. :-)
DeleteWell, after reading the other comments and watching the video again, I guess it's official: I've turned into my father.
ReplyDeleteCubby you can thank me later for just handing you the ISBL comment of the week award!!! Lol.
DeleteTouching, really touching.
ReplyDeletePS - Hate the new word verification system...
Hate.