Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Alaska Is Crazy...Or, At Least, Gordon Warren Epperly Is Crazy

I've always thought Alaskans were crazy because it's too cold to live up there, and because it's dark, sometimes, all day long, and because they elected the Mama Grizzly Bore® to office.
And now they've given me a whole new reason to find them utterly wack-nutty. See, I always thought the birthers, who tried to keep Obama out of office, or remove him from office, because they believed he was born here, were crazy, but now one Gordon Warren Epperly filed a lawsuit in Alaska challenging President Obama's inclusion on the 2012 presidential ballot. 
Birther? No, something much more ignorant than that. See, Gordon Warren Epperly--he of the half brain and too much free time--believes Negroes and mulattoes can't be president because they aren't really citizens.
Oh, but he does.
His lawsuit states:
Barack Hussein Obama II, a.k.a. Barack Hussein Obama, aka. Barack H. Obama has the race status of being a "mulatto." Barack Obama's father (Barack Hussein Obama I) was a full blood Negro being born Nyang'oma Kogelo, Nyanza Province, Kenya and raised in the Colony of Kenya. Barack Obama's mother (Stanley Ann Dunham) was a white Caucasian woman being born in Wichita, Kansas on November 29, 1942 and raised in the state of Washington and in the state of Hawaii.
And it concludes with:
As stated above, for an Individual to be a candidate for the office of president of the United States, the candidate must meet the qualifications set forth in the United States Constitution and one of those qualifications is that the Candidate shall be a "natural born citizen" of the United States. As Barack Hussein Obama II is of the "mulatto" race, his status of citizenship is founded upon the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Before the [purported] ratification of the Fourteenth Amendment, the race of "Negro" or "mulatto" had no standing to be citizens of the United States under the United States Constitution.
Apparently Gordon Warren Epperly--he of the limited brain activity and access to too much FauxNews--didn't realize that the Fourteenth Amendment defined citizenship and granted both civil and political rights to those born in the United States; it also made it illegal for any state to deny those rights. In addition, the Fourteenth Amendment overturned the Dred Scott decision which found that slaves and their descendants could never be U.S. citizens.
Seriously, Alaska, first Palin and now Gordon Warren Epperly? Now, before you get your snowshoes all twisted, I completely understand that Gordon Warren Epperly does not represent the feelings of the entire state. But I just want you to know that maybe those long, dark  days and all that snow, make wingnuts feel comfortable up there.


1 comment:

froggy said...

Freedom! To be an idiot!