NOprah

Let's check the watch. Oprah's been back on from her summer feeding frenzy for all of three days and already I want to blow a hole in my TV.

The interview with Whitney, the one Oprah called her best ever, was nothing more than a glorified ass-kissing of a former drug addict's comeback. Yes, Whitney had talent; yes, she can still sing. But she is not the Whitney she once was because of her lifestyle choices of drugs and smoking. Her voice is nowhere near the richness of it's former self, yet Oprah must have called her The Voice about a hundred times.

Get over it, Oprah. And get over yourself.

Day Three of the Look At Me I'm Oprah Season Opener was a rehash of her 1991 interview with Michael Jackson that she did when he still looked a little like Michael Jackson and she still wore black cotton candy on her head.

Now, I watched because I'd seen the original interview, but thought it might be interesting to see how it plays today, with all that's happened since 1993. What did he say then that might shed some light on the Michael Jackson of the last fifteen years or so? That would have been a good show.

But, of course, that didn't happen, because this show wasn't about Michael Jackson, it was about what Oprah thought about Michael Jackson. Oprah's Walk Down Michael Jackson's Memory Lane Tribute was nothing more than another episode of the How Great I am, Oprah Show.

Seriously, the bitch needs to give it up. Her god complex is growing by leaps and bounds, just like her waistline. Yeah. I went there. Sue me.

The part of the interview reboot that i found most laughable, other than how full of herself she was even back then, was how she said she didn't have any questions prepared for the interview. None. She seriously expects us to believe that she planned the Seen Around The World By A Hundred Million People Oprah Extravaganza and she didn't prepare. One. Single. Question.

Bull.

This proves that Oprah is either a liar or quite possibly the worst interviewer ever and I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle--the ever expanding middle section, if you get my meaning.

See, she talks about how she doesn't have any questions prepared and what happens if she can't think of anything to ask Michael Jackson. I had a question you could have asked, NOprah; howsabout, Hey Mike, do I look fat in this?

That would have started the ball rolling.

But then the interview rehash wouldn't have been about NOprah. It would have been about someone other than her, and she won't have that. She said it would have ruined her career if she hadn't come up with a question. Had I known then, what I know now, I would have made sure she didn't have a single question for Michael and it would have ruined her career and we wouldn't be discussing her now.

Oh wait....then I'd have no post.

Carry on, NOprah. I'm watching.