BREAKING: Two New Biblical Commandments Uncovered!!

The Eleventh Commandment:

Thou Shalt Not Drink Pepsi.

A church in Florida is not just battling for your soul, they're battling for your beverage. And they'd prefer it not be Pepsi.

The Bell Shoals Baptist Church is organizing a boycott of Pepsi. They are so angry at Pepsi that they have actually removed their 10 Pepsi machines and replaced them with Coke because, they believe, Pepsi advocates "acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle."

"We would like to send them a message," said Terry Kemple, President of the Community Issues Council that is organizing the boycott. He said that Pepsi donated more than a million dollars to organizations that fought California's gay marriage-banning Proposition 8. He also says the company has sponsored gay pride parades and commercials that accept cross-dressing and homosexuality.

What? Pepsi is for marriage equality and equal rights for all?

How dare they!

"They (have) begun to utilize the money we've helped them build up to trample on what we consider family values," Kemple says, and the church released a report that says that "Pepsi also forces its employees to attend sexual orientation and gender identity diversity training, where they are taught to accept homosexuality."

Nadine Smith, executive director of Equality Florida: "The irony is that - in moving from Pepsi products to Coke products - they actually switched from one company that supports full-equality to another company that supports full-equality."

See, Baptists, Coke really is like Pepsi, and so, to that end, I offer my own commandment to the Bell Shoals Baptist Church. I'm calling it Commandment 12:

Have a Coke and a smile, and shut up.