Now, y'all know this wouldn't be I Should Be Laughing if I didn't go off on Oprah at least once a week, or once a day, or once every couple of minutes. But I digress.
Oprah Winfrey is fat.
I mean, compared to nearly everyone else she is ginormous. I'll get to that in a moment.
The graduating class of Duke University this year had the privilege of Oprah Winfrey giving their commencement speech. Her advice to the class of 2009: "It's great to have a nice home. It's great to have nice homes! It's great to have a nice home that just escaped the fire in Santa Barbara. It's great to have a private jet. Anyone that tells you that having your own private jet isn't great is lying to you."
Oprah also has a big fat head.
Ariston Anderson who covered the Winfrey address writes:
Well at least she's honest. But is this really practical advice for a class that that is facing one of the worst job markets ever? A great commencement speech holds advice for the future, for when those hopeful grads walk out of the campus, diplomas in hand, into the real world.
Oprah's main point in the speech was to serve others in life. Still, promoting the idea of owning a private jet was perhaps not the best word choice for our fragile grads who are entering into a workforce, fighting with laid-off industry veterans for entry-level positions.
Sure, you can praise Oprah for not being a hypocrite. She's rich and she's proud of it. It's kind of tacky to flaunt your riches in a recession, but whatever. But here's why she is hypocritical. Oprah flaunts her philanthropy. She's one of the biggest givers in the country, donating millions each year to her various causes, so she has a right to do so. But how can a woman who opens up a school for girls in Africa, tries her luck at a vegan diet, and even launched a (failed) philanthropical reality TV show, flaunt the benefits of owning a private jet?
Flying private is one of the single most damaging things a person can do to the environment. A passenger flying in a private Gulfstream G400 puts out 1 ton of carbon emissions, while a passenger in first class on a Boeing 777 puts out only .06.
See, that's how fat she is. She puts out One Ton of Carbon Emissions while you and I put out .06.
Now, I ain't no math major, but that is some difference.