Thursday, May 07, 2009

Fender Bender


Yesterday I was hobbling around the kitchen--it's a light hobble, but a hobble none-the-less--when the phone rang. As I am the kind of person who does not like talking on the phone and will not answer if it's an unrecognizable number, I checked the Caller ID.

Carlos.

Okay. I guess I can answer.
I kid. I press the button Hello?
Nothing.
Hello?

Nothing. I turn it off and wonder if it is Carlos hitting the wrong button, or saying the wrong word. He has that Voice Activation jiggy-mah-giggy--his word--on his phone and I wondered if maybe when he'd said Home the phone thought he said Homo and began fire-dialing around the globe. I do not want to see that phone bill.

So I call him back and it just rings and rings and goes to Voicemail. As I like to panic, because it's a special gift I have, I think Oh God, he's been in a car accident.

I dial again. No answer. And again. No answer.

Finally the phone rings and I pick up--but not before checking the Caller ID because, well, I'm no fool. It's him.

Hello.
I got in a car accident.
Damn me and my psychic abilities!

Turns out it was just a bump from another driver, but Carlos was lucky he called me, the Judge Judy of our house.

Did you call the police?
No.
Call them. You need a police report.
But the girl seems nic--
Call them.
Okay.
And take pictures of the car and the damages.

So he does as the Court Orders and all is well. A dent on the door and a couple of scratches on the fender. Carlos was more hurt than the car, and only emotionally because he loves PatsyEdwina--that's what he calls the car.

Sometimes I feel like Lucy and Ricky, and sometimes I feel like Abbott and Consuelo.

11 comments:

  1. I'm glad Carlos wasn't hurt and PatsyEdwina only had a few scratches.

    LOL: "Homo" rapid-dialing!!

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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  2. Good for you, Judy!

    Isn't that woman just the BEST?

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  3. Had a couple calls like that.

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  4. I'm glad Carlos is okay, and that you didn't re-injure yourself getting to the phone. That being said, you are hilarious!

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  5. Oh no! I'm glad it wasn't worse, and that Carlos is okay. I would totally freak, too, at the first phone call, and I bet I would think the same thing...that Ken was in a car accident.

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  6. "Abott and Consuelo"!!!!! HA!

    maybe you should go the sylvia Brown route and go on Montel williams.......

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  7. As I always say, just before laying down the law, SOMEBODY has to be in charge.

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  8. I am SO glad Carlos is okay, cause otherwise I would feel bad for laughing my ass off at this

    "when he'd said Home the phone thought he said Homo and began fire-dialing around the globe. I do not want to see that phone bill.
    "

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  9. Damn those psychic abilities.

    Mine are ringing off the hook - telling me I am likely to be highly inebriated by the time the new Isaac Mizrahi fashion design disaster premieres tonight on Bravo.

    Damn them.

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  10. Lucy and Ethel. That pretty funny! Thank God everyone is alright.

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  11. No matter how minor, car accidents are always a hassle. Hopefully the girl at fault will be adult about it and your hassle will be minimal. Glad Carlos is okay.

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