Courtney Love Is Dead?

Courtney Love has died. A victim of a Hollywood murder so heinous I can barely say it aloud.

Courtney Love was murdered by....Courtney Love.

See, The Artist Formerly Known As Courtney Love no longer wants to be called Courtney Love. In an interview, she admits: "Courtney Love is dead. We've all decided we don't like her any more. We love her when she goes onstage, but I don't need her in the rest of my life. The name Courtney Love is a way to oppress me."

She has also apparently decided that the new name, TAFKACL, is a bit to hard to pronounce, so she will subsequently be known as Courtney Michelle; Love's birth name is Courtney Michelle Harrison.

I could be wrong, but I liked Courtney Love. She was fun at parties; she always had the best drugs; her Tweets were illiterate joy. My most fun nights were spent waking up in a pile of vomit in Courtney Love's guesthouse bathroom. That's how you knew the party was good. But this Courtney Michelle mother-effer sounds like a tired old porn queen.

Courtney Love is dead.

To me.