This Could Be Any One Of Us

Clay and Harold have been partners for twenty years.

Clay and Harold worked hard to protect their legal rights as a same-sex couple denied the rights of marriage.

Wills. Powers of attorney. Medical directives.

All naming the other.

Harold, 88, was in poor health, but still living with Clay, 77, who took care of him as couples are apt to do.

But then Harold fell down the steps of their home and was hospitalized.

With their medical directives in place, Clay should have been consulted, and, at the very least, kept informed of Harold's condition, care and treatment.

No.

Instead, Sonoma county health care workers refused to allow Clay to see Harold in the hospital. The county then made matters worse, by taking each of the men and placing them in separate nursing homes.

Sonoma county health care officials treated Harold as though he had no family, and actually went to court seeking the right to make financial decisions on his behalf.

There was no Clay, as far as they were concerned. There were no legal documents. There was no twenty year union.

They even stated, in court, that Clay was only Harold's "roommate."

And while the courts denied the efforts of Sonoma County, they did grant them limited access to one of Harold's bank accounts to pay for his hospitalization.

And it gets more sickening.

They disregarded Clay and Harold's relationship completely.

They went into Clay and Harold's home, without determining the value of the household items, without determining who owned what, they auctioned off everything that belonged to the couple.

All of it gone without so much as a question to either man.

And then the county removed Clay from his home and confined him to a nursing home against his will. County workers terminated Clay and Harold's lease and surrendered the home they had shared for many years to the landlord.
Three months later, Harold died in the hospital.

Clay missed the final act of his partner's life because he didn't have one simple legal document which would have made it impossible for Sonoma County, California, to abuse him, and steal from him an deny him the chance to say goodbye to his partner.

No marriage license.

All Clay has left of twenty years with Harold is a photo album Harold made for him during his final three months.

If you aren't weeping, you have no soul.

If you aren't angry, you have no heart.

There but for the grace of god, goes any, and perhaps, every, gay couple in this country who is not allowed the simple right that every heterosexual person has: to marry the person they love.

Sickening.