Thursday, April 15, 2010

Sarah Palin. Diva. Wingnut. Asshat.

Sometimes when you dig around in the trash, you come up with something interesting.

Case in point: a document found among the garbage at California State University Stanislaus reveals all the luxurious details of the treatment that Tea Partier and Real American, Sarah Palin, will receive when she speaks at the school this summer.

According to the contract:

  • Audience questions will be pre-screened so as not to stump the Half-Term Ex-Governor.
  • Water bottles must have bendable straws. God forbid Palin should have to move her head.
  • She must be driven in a black SUV, or she'll settle for a Town Car, and either one will need to be kept waiting for her at all times. Quick getaways, and such.
  • She needs a one bedroom suite and two additional rooms at a luxury hotel. One for the family, one for her ego.
  • The room shall be stocked with a laptop, a printer filled with paper, and access to high-speed Internet. How else to keep up with the mainstream media and their desire to paint an ugly picture of her.
  • All meals and incidentals will be comped. And if she brings the brood, this could add up quickly.
  • She needs two first-class plane tickets. Sarah don't mingle with real Americans, she just panders to them.
  • If she doesn't fly commercial, "the private aircraft MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger."
One item missing from the contract is Palin's fee, rumored to be in the $100,000 range. and it was reported this week that Sarah Palin, between the book she "wrote" and her TV propaganda show, and her other ventures, has earned close to $12 million dollars since quitting her job as governor last year, adding truth to the rumors that Palin is all about money, money, and more money.

Funny, though, that most real Americans who lost their jobs last year would be satisfied with maybe $12,000 a year.

Not Sarah Palin.


froggy said...

What, no specific colored M&Ms?!

robertga99 said...

Audience questions will be pre-screened so as not to stump the Half-Term Ex-Governor.
TRUTH! Because she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about so anything "off script" is too hard for her.

Montana said...

Almost daily we listen to her trash talk (she is in the Quayle and “W” league), all thanks to the man who now claims that he never called himself a maverick, McCain, right, tell us another. She spends her days trash talking it is only fitting that someone found a great place for her contract. You know she is a VP silver metal winner. I guess some dumpster diving found it, All’s Well That Ends Well.

Wonder Man said...

such a crock of crap

Stan in NH said...

She's really gotten so full of herself. Her 15 minutes were up years ago, yet, she continues to hang on. She's a legend in her own mind, a cook in the minds of others. :)

Mark in DE said...

Diva. Wingnut. Asshat. And we should probably add Half-wit.


Kyle said...

Bob, Stan and I had so much fun with this "news" item. We had so many laughs we felt we were at a comedy show.