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Then, to top it off, Matt "I'm a newsman, dammit" Lauer, promised an interview with Balloon Boy Hoax Daddy, Richard Heene, because now Richard says it wasn't a hoax--even though his wife says it was a hoax.
Hmmmm, maybe it's just me, but isn't this just another attempt by MediaWhoreHeene to get his mug on TV.
And isn't it nice of the SideShow to accommodate him?
Piss off.
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Then comes word that he's being shipped to Hiatus, wherever that is, though I'm sure it's a country where people don't know funny because then they'd get Jay Leno.
Then comes word that he's going back to the 11:30PM timeslot.
Um, NBC? Didn't you give that to Conan? And by shipping Leno back, aren't you kind of admitting that you made a New Coke Kind Of Mistake?
But NBC says Jay Leno's "show has performed exactly as anticipated."
Oh, so you meant to drive away 52% of your audience.
Good thinking.
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Oh, not you of course, those other people.
It seems that folks are already up in arms about President Obama's upcoming State of The Union address because the two nights available are the nights that American Idol premieres or the night that starts the last season of Lost.
Yes, only in America, where we just bungled a terrorist attack, where Wall St has come back to thumb their noses at us while they line their pockets, where unemployment goes up and home ownership goes down, we are more concerned about missing a TV show.
Now, I loves me some American Idol and I loveslovesloeves me some Lost, but, seriously.
People are stupid.
Noooooooooooooo! Not you!
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BSMP [Bristol Sharon Marie Palin] will :::::ahem::::: "provide lobbying, public relations, and political consulting services." The company is currently the ambassador for the Candie's Foundation, a pro-abstinence organization.
Yes, Bristol, who dropped out of high school so she could give birth to her drop-out boyfriend's love child is touting abstinence. Um, she couldn't have done that before she, um, you know, rode the Johnston?
Just like her mama, the Governor Who Couldn't, Bristol follows the "do as I say, not as I do" brand of thinking.
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Literally.
I.Died.
In the newest issue of Latina Magazine, Jennifer Lopez laments not winning an Oscar El Cantante, a movie nobody saw:
"I feel like I had that [Oscar worthy role] in El Cantante, but I don't even think the academy members saw it. I feel like it's their responsibility to do that, to see everything that's out there, everything that could be great. "Well, it is a little bit frustrating. It was funny; when the Oscars were on, I had just given birth on the 22nd, and the Oscars, I think, were a day or two later. I was sitting there with my twins--I couldn't have been happier--but I was like, 'How dope would it have been if I would've won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?' 'Thank you so much! I just want to thank the academy!' But we joked about it. It's all good. Things will happen when they're supposed to happen. I have the utmost faith and no doubt that it will one day, when and if it's supposed to. You can't get all crazy twisted over it."
Jennifer Lopez winning an Oscar!
It's funny, cuz it'll never happen.
Cher, and Christina Aguilera, on the set of their new movie [I know! Two fab divas together!] Burlesque.
The film is about of a burlesque club called The Burlesque Lounge, where Christina's small- town-girl-with-a-dream-and-a-talent-as-big-as-her-breasts shows off her amazing, um, voice. Yeah. Not the breasts, I don't think.
Cher plays Tess the owner of the lounge and she is apparently going to guide Christina's Ali through the perils of small-town-big-city burlesque-itude.
Of course, it doesn't hurt that the film also stars homolicious Alan Cumming, hottie Eric Dane, sexy Stanley Tucci, and The Body Cam Gigandet.
It's a big gay movie!
Rachel Zoe, stylist to the stars who have no taste of their own, took to the beaches over the holidays. Apparently, however, she forgot her suit, so she just slipped into some leftover skin she had laying around. Seriously, someone give her a cookie, and then make her go away.
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Again.
'Nuff said.
*those other people* will be the first to go when our alien overlords arrive.
ReplyDeleteI cracked up, too, when I read the thing about Bristol Palin. What the...?
ReplyDeleteI thought Bristol went around saying that kids need other options because obviously abstinence doesn't work. Well! You're right.
ReplyDeleteI still crack up about Oprah crying about leaving her show when the exit is almost two years away. Sheesh!
I'll go see Burlesque.
Good post! I agree with you. :-)
You, of all people, should know that when there's no REAL news, they either make something up or rehash something we're trying to forget.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this bitchy post. I agree with you on ALL of it, especially the morning TV news shows. I can hardly stand to watch them anymore. And most of the 'serious' reports are on subject matter we all know everything about anyway. I mean really, if I have to hear Suze Orman talking about credit card ratings one more time I'm gonna shit a brick!
ReplyDeleteThis is better news coverage than MSNBC can manage on a good night.
ReplyDeleteFun, as always Bob. Burlesque sounds like it will be great. I can't wait!
ReplyDelete