Monday, January 18, 2010

A Golden Stream..........Of Consciousness


Golden Globes....A rainy day in Los Angeles so the arrivals are asked "Who are you wearing" and "Don't you hate the rain?"....The E! channel....Ryan Seacrest used to be the fat kid in school so he's making up for it by being smug and a suck-up....Giuliana Rancic, of E, all that glitters is stupid....She turns the arrival Q&A into talk about her....She's the new Tyra.....Mr. Jay Manuel is still the BIGGEST queen in the world....The 360 Fashion Cam is just creepy....But wait....NPH....So nice....Nice is hot.....Emily Blunt....Love her....She could have combed her hair....Oh yeah, the rain......Quentin Tarantino....The most obnoxious human being....So full of himself....But then there's Sandra Bullock....The female NPH.....She gave $1 million to Haitian earthquake victims....Chace Crawford....Cute....But he knows it, which makes him not so cute......George Clooney in a beard--as opposed to with a beard like some other Hollywood straight men....George? Honey? Just say NO to the beard....He's producing a telethon for January 22 to raise money for Haiti....Bradley Cooper....Tall....Dazzling smile....I'm blinded by it....And he has the perfect nose....Chloe Sevigny....I don't know her....But she loved bitching and moaning about the rain....I loved bitching and moaning about her ugly dress.....Taylor Lautner....The gaydar pings....And pings....And pings....I'm not saying he's gay....Just saying the gaydar was pinging....And he was lisping....Switch to NBC because Ryan is sucking up and Juliana is still an idiot....Billy Bush is in a foul mood because of the weather....Kate Hudson is wearing Origami....Not a Japanese designer, mind you, but a dress made out of paper, and folded, origami-style....Mariah Carey and Her Ginormous Boobs....The word vapid comes to mind....She says Helen Mirren was supposed to play the social worker in Precious.....Though Mariah was good, Mirren woul have been delish....Plus, doesn't her husband keep getting younger looking than her?....If they stay married much longer she'll look 50 and he'll look 10....Robert Downey JR....Hot....Smart....Hot....Simon Baker....Aussie-licious....Tom Hanks....."NBC scheduled the rain for earlier then moved it back to 11:35."....Finally the rain stops and so do Seacrest, Rancic and Bush....Thank you Goddess....Ricky Gervais is going to be funny because he just doesn't care what he says...."Let's get on with it before NBC replaces me with Leno"....Nicky Kidman....Loved her since she dumped her "not gay husband" Tom Cruise and replaced him with Aussie Keith Urban....Why are Aussie men so hot?...Hugh Jackman and his Huge Ackman....Simon Baker.....Colin Farrell must be part Australian, don't you think?....Bradley Cooper, too....Supporting Actress Movie.....Mo'Nique, for Precious....Love her....Loved her speech about her husband...Supporting Actress TV.....Toni Collette....Love her, too....Muriel's Wedding....But I've never seen her show.....Moving on......Supporting Actor TV......John....Fucking....Lithgow....I.Hate.Him....Pompous fuck....NPH was robbed!....What the hell is Mike Tyson doing there?....Animated Film: UP.....Ricky Gervais talks about buying a Golden Globe....But you can't....Not anymore....not since Pia Zadora's husband bought her one....Felicity Huffman....Love her....She loves the champagne, I think....Actor TV.....Please let it be Simon Baker....Please let it be....Michael C....Who?....For what?....Actress TV....Julianna Margulies....Very....Pretty....Never seen the show....Glenn Close is not happy losing....She will not be ignored.....Oh.Dear.Baby.Jeebus!....Cher and Christina Aguilera!!??!....Gay nirvana....They're doing a movie together....I'll get in line to buy tickets tomorrow....They're presenting music awards....I think....Wait....T-Bone Burnett!....Very cool....He worked with the BoDeans....Love the BoDeans....But Cher in Black and Xtina in white......Gay Goodness....TV movie.....Grey Gardens....The guy thanked the phone book....Seriously....Actress Comedy/Musical....Meryl Streep....She wants to be called T-Bone Streep....She is divine goodness....Lovely speech....Oh no....My other fave....Helen Mirren....Gorgeous....Actor TV Movie....Kevin Bacon....Didn't see it....I must not watch enough TV....Note to self: Work that DVR....Actress TV Movie....Drew Barrymore....All grown up....Giddy....Spacey....Sweet....But she didn't mention Jessica Lange which pisses me off....I mention La Lange four or five times a day....Cameron Diaz actually looks put together and not something that has been rode hard and put away wet......Harrison Ford looks old....And unhappy to be there....Ricky Gervais...."Words don't matter. What matters is how good the actors look when they're saying them"....Writing Awards....Two guys from Up In The Air who look like they just graduated from West Covina High....Actor TV Music/Comedy....Matthew "I'm not gay but a girl can dream can't she" Morrison from Glee....Wheeeeee....WTF?....Baldwin? Again?....I refrain from hurling the remote at the set....Sophia Loren....Work done....But nicely....TV Drama....Mad Men....And a chance to see my manly man Jon Hamm....That's how you wear a beard Clooney!....Supporting Actress TV Music/Comedy....Glee....Jane Lynch....Jane Lynch....Chole Sevigny?....Whattsamater Globes? You no likeeeeee Glee?....Supporting Actor Movie....NOT Stanley Tucci who was in two terrific roles....Julie & Julia and The Lovely Bones....Christoph Waltz....I don't even know who he is....But he gave a prepared speech about globes....Yawn....Jodie Foster is one hot lesbian....Dicaprio and DeNiro give the Cecil B DeMille Award to Martin Scorsese.....I'd forgotten how many great, and diverse films Scorcese has done....Not just mob flicks....Brendan Fraser went from Encino Man hotness to Sta-Puf Marshmallow man pastiness....Ricky Gervais..."I like a little drink as much as the next man, unless the next man is"....Mel Gibson....Homophobe....Anti-Semite....Aadulterer....Drunkard....Hate him....Best Director....James Cameron....Windbag....Says he won't talk much, then does....No wonder his movies are so long....He can't STFU....Best TV Show Music/Comedy....Glee! Glee? GLEE?....Aaaah Glee....Matthew Morrison is hot....Glee creator, Ryan Murphy, dedicated the award to "anyone who got a wedgie in high school"....I raised my hand....Best Movie Music/Comedy....The Hangover....Damn....Bradley Cooper is hot....Is he from Australia?....What is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing there?....His state's in the toilet....Oh yeah, he'll be out of a job soon and needs an acting gig....He's presenting a movie....Avatar....or as Arnie calls it AvaDar....The role of Mickey Rourke will now be played by Jocelyn Wildenstein....Best Actress Movie Drama....Sandra Bullock....Good for her....Lovely speech about how your family isn't always who you're born into, but who has your back....Best Actor Movie Comedy....Robert Downey JR....RDJR....Finally, a from-the-heart-off-the-cuff-fun-funny-sweet, speech....Plus, um, yeah, he's hot....Best Actor Movie Drama....Jeff Bridges....Hot....Always hot....Loved him in Fearless....Oh, yum, Colin Farrell's sexy eyes....Best Picture....Julia Roberts, who "Tyra's" the moment to talk about herself and her kids....Avatar?....Seriously?....Because it cost so much?....Because it made so much....James Cameron's speech will go on....And on....Recap....Ricky G....Funny....Bradley Cooper....Hot....Colin Farrell....Tingling down there....Sandra Bullock....Finally....Meryl Streep....Helen Mirren....Colin Farrell.....Sweet dreams.

8 comments:

  1. Oh Taylor Lautner. He's so close to being hot. He should take a few months off right now and get his pig-nose fixed. That would elevate him from '9' to '10'.

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  2. Anonymous11:51 AM

    Wonderful recap!! Really enjoyed reading this.

    I was wondering if I was the only person hearing the pinging of the radar.

    Colin Farrell is so gorgeous. Eyes for days!!

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  3. It made me wonder about that woman on E (I think) who kept asking Taylor if he had a girlfriend and, when he said no, exclaimed "Oh boy!" and then asked him what he looked for in a girl. If not for what you and DD said, I probably wouldn't have thought anything about it.

    Love these comments! Since I watched the whole thing, I followed you right through it all. You would like The Good Wife. Do you watch Leverage? It reminds me of Mission Impossible if you're old enough to remember that; otherwise, similar to Burn Notice in terms of doing bad things for good people.

    Michael C. Hall is excellent and creepy in Dexter (HBO), and Chloe Sivigny is on Big Love, which does more to make the Mormons look bad than they can do on their own. It's under the guise of presenting it from their POV.

    Loved Robert Downey Jr's speech! Best of the night. Hilarious about Mickey Rourke and the Lion Lady! He was with a 24 year old Russian model. Of course. But what's her deal? Not enough money for some of us to go there.

    Guess I have some movies to see!

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  4. Stopping by the Mistress's blog and what a funny recap! I was so glad to tune in to see Mo'Nique will th award.I was never a fan of her, but she is really starting to awaken and coming into her own. I think we are going to see a lot more of her serious side now, and acting chops! Great blog also very enjoyable!

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  5. Great recap thanks Bob - I saw bits and pieces but no have the full story. BTW Keith Urban is actually a Kiwi (as in what we New Zealanders call ourselves NOT the fruit). He's a cousin of Karl Urban, the dude who played (badly)Dr Bones McCoy in the latest Star Trek movie.

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  6. As always I perenially melt when I see Kevin Bacon and I don't even know what it is about him. Loved his spisode on Will & Grace...almost a perfect match for Jack. Weird huh?
    No Kathy Bates anywhere. What was she up to this year?
    A million dollars to Haiti Which politician will accept in Haiti's behalf then run to Europe? An is thta giving in tithes? 10% of my income would put me in the poor house- are there any left?
    Great fun blog Bob. Loved it. Love you!
    xoxoxo Charlie

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  7. Anonymous9:13 AM

    Great recap...you hit all the highs and all the lows and all the men I'd want to hit.

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  8. I've decided that the only way to watch an awards show is with friends so you can critique the way all the celebs look.

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