Friday, January 22, 2010

PR7:EP2: How Ya Gonna Keep 'Em Down On The Farm After They've Seen Heidi?

Episode 2 saw the designtestants heading out to the country for a trip to the family farm where they found their models, dressed in potato sacks, standing in a field. Very city mouse, country mouse; very Square State.

It wasn't going to be about haute couture as much as it was about haute potato....spud couture....fashion mashed up......okay I'll stop. Well, I'll stop after I say that Anthony's ear-piercing squeal when a model chose him was a little too Ned Beatty in Deliverance if you get my meaning.

The challenge? Make a party dress out of a potato sack with the models as the client. Make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. I know, I said I'd stop...I lied.

Let's rip:

Emilio, winner from week one, has immunity. Emilio is serious about his craft, and his work shows. We haven't seen any Emilio drama [yet] so I think he may go far. He was middle-of-the-pack safe this week, and I like this. There's kind of an Asian vibe happening here. I'd go all snarky on it, but I can't.
What's wrong with me?!??!

Ben went for Roasted Red Potato, but, for me, he left off a sleeve. Now, I'm as asymmetric as the next gal, but that one-shouldered-cap-sleeve-pouffant thing does.not.work. And the nipple broach is kind of disturbing. Still, Ben was vanilla this week; safe, but nothing special. He should have salted the spud.
What does that mean?

Anthony, er, Big Gay From The Ghet-Toe-Anthony, also went Red Potato, and he played it safe. No weird fabrics, no child-like splotches from EP1. It's nice, it's sweet; it's a potato gnocchi. Soft. Starchy. One bite and you want something else.

All right. Anna. Finally! Somethin' fugly to rip on. A lot of designtestants dyed their spud bags, but Anna chose a different route. She stole a potato from the farm and used it to dye the fabric. The effect is amazing. It looks like she stuffed an anorexic model in a burlap bag, slapped some grey trim all around and then commanded, "Bag to the mud bog, Model." And made her girl wallow, well, pig-like in the dirt.
Even I wanted a bath after I saw this. But, miracle of miracles, she's safe.

Now, I ain't saying we gots ourselves a cheater in the midst, but take a good long look at Jonathan's silhouette [Silhouette? How Michael Kors of me!] and then take a gander at Emilio's silhouette. The.Exact.Same. Length.Strap.Shape. I'm not saying that Jonathan copied off Emilio's paper while Tim wasn't looking, but if he did, he stopped before he saw how Emilio created those cool stripes, and then Jonathan thought, "Hm, lace and burlap?"
Honey? No.

Seth Aaron didn't annoy me so much this week because there was no time spent on his Double Moniker. He was too busy creating this homage to Judy Jetson Visits The Animal Farm. The hood? Little Burlap Riding Hood? The skirt? The Bells Of St Mary? It's a look that made me look away. It's Costume. It's Cartoon. It's Seth Aaron.

Maya? Grrrrrl. You knows how much I loves me some Potato Salad and that's what you gave me. Potato Salad like Mama used to make. A few potatoes, and then everything else she could find, all tossed in together. And, just like my Mama's potato salad, this worked, honey. The textures, the stripes, the colors. It's very African looking. i was surprised she was middle-of-the-road safe. I thought this was Top Three.

And I was just as surprised that Jesse's um, er, [I think I just threw up a little] creation wasn't Bottom Three. If I recall correctly, the challenge was to take Burlap to Party. And, unless the party was a Ho Down, and I mean the kind where the ho's are gettin' down, Jesse missed the mark. He also missed fitting it to his model. Bad design badly sewn makes for a Bad Jesse. Still, somehow the judges let him slide....just like those too-big pants are sliding off that poor hipless girl.

Janeane didn't cry this week, but I did when I saw this shapeless mass of grey mashed potatoes come lumbering down the runway. The color is a Little too Rotten Potato for me, and the bottom of the dress looks like there are some leftover spuds still in there. Janeane was better when she was crying; clearly, clear-eyed she doesn't do well.

Jesse, our bottom boy....at least, I'm guessing he's a bottom, two weeks in a row, he must really love it. Last week was the Leather Tuscadero Evening Gown, and this week was the Spud Bag Christmas Gift. Jesse was too busy thinking how busy he could get in that mud bog at the farm to listen to Tim say they had to make a dress out of a potato sack. He thought they just had to use the sack, and then cover it in miles of puke green and mud bog brown ribbon. Jesse, honey? You're a bottom, we get it. But one more week and Heidi will get you auf...and not in a good way.

Ping.Ponged. I knew I'd use that sooner or later, and I went with sooner. Now, I love me some Ping. She has a point of view {channeling Nina here] but she took the task too literally. She thought you had to take a potato sack and make a potato sack that shows some ass. Even on the runway, I nearly choked on my Sauvignon Blanc when Ping said she thought they had to make a dress for the model to wear to a farm party! This wrong in epic ways; it looks a little twice-baked potato with a slit up that back.
Note to the model: work on that ass. I'm getting too much potato pancake.

Pamela was all about the dyeing of the burlap to make it look a little denimesque. And with a nice little detail down the side, with some leather stepping to keep the sack closed. But Pamela made the fatal error of creating a dress for a Size 0 model and making the model look like a size, gasp, 2!!
Off with her head!
Pamela Ptak was auf'd. And she was sent Ptaking.

Amy's Burlap Party Sensation was Top Three. it's fun! it's flirty! It moves! It looks like burlap! It looks like burlap? But the judges like that! And the silhouette was pretty, and the subtle dying was nice. And the flowery petal-y skirt moved.
Okay. I'm seeing it now. I like burlap.
Mila took her dress to the future, dyed it black, glued what looks like nails down the front, and called it a day. At the Fashion Farm, Mila's model from last week dissed her by Potato Dumpling her for Big Gay Anthony, and I think, with the funeral color and the metal spike trim detail, Mila was sending a not-so-subtle message to her former model, "Mess with Mila, darling, and I'll hash brown your ass."
I do love a good potato allegory.
And our winner for the week was Jay. I picked Jay, too. That's two in a row for me. [note to self: email Heidi and volunteer your services as guest judge]. But he won because he did the job right. He went all party-girl--and I'm thinking he knows all about party girl, m'kay?--on the burlap and created something like doesn't look burlap. Sexy.Young.Flirty. I liked all of it except for Jay's mini-Big Gay Anthony scream when he won and that scarf thing around his neck. Bring it down a notch Jay.....or else turn it up full volume.
So, there you have PR7EP2: The Fashion Assassin.

For the full recap on the madness and the drama, as usual, head on over to DavidDust later today for his madcap recap!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that no one on the show or you didn't mention once that Ricky invented this challenge 54 years ago on I Love Lucy! I think he could have won the challenge too, top 3 for sure.

froggy said...

LOL! That's it, you're fried for the day.
(the verification word is messes...)

Michael Rivers said...

I really liked this challenge and thought the designers did a great job (most of them). I keep reading how this season has very strong designers from the beginning. It's true. Picking a winner out of this line up was tough. I do think Ping should have gone home. That was awful. It's only a matter of time.

mistress maddie said...

What a great challenge. My favorites were Emilio, Maya, Jay and Amy's designs. I can't believe Ping got into another week. Next week, the ping pong ball is going home I say.

Marky said...

First of all, I love this show. I love the creativity from the designers and the comments from Heidi.

With that said, I also thought Ping should go home. She's adorable, but that dress was a nightmare. I think the only reason she's still there is because she's so cute.

Joy said...

I guess they're keeping Ping on because she's so entertaining. Hers was the worst dress by far. And she wasn't even in the bottom two!!

Good recap, Bob. You squeeze all you can out of an analogy, don't you? LOL

Cliff O'Neill said...

Wait. Anthony is gay? When did this happen?

Mark in DE said...

I thought the garments created this week, with the construct of using a potato sack, were MUCH better than last week's where they got to use whatever fabric they wanted!!